Clown FacebyDiana Retnuhvek©
He was glad he finally went through with it, sitting there by himself, naked, in a clothes-optional bar.
He sipped his White Russian, once in a while spoke to the male bartender just to make conversation. There was a basketball game on TV, the two spoke about that.
Jarod sipped his drink, watched TV like there was nothing out of the ordinary about this night. But there was. He was naked.
He was sitting on a bar stool in public, naked.
He did it to get it out of his system. He wanted to feel what it was like to be naked in front of a bar room full of clothed women.
He wanted them to stare, to make comments, to compliment. He had a girlfriend, but this was a different type of arousal that he could not get from that relationship.
Being naked in front a clothed female stranger was something he had to experience.
The only bad thing was that the room was empty. There were a few dudes across the room at the other bar also naked, and flabby. Maybe they were keeping the women away.
There was a bachelorette party going on in the other room, the women at that party dancing the night away, without Jarod. He didn't have the guts to go out on a dance floor naked. He wanted a woman to politely sit down next to him in this nearly empty room, have some small talk.
It seemed that might not happen on this night, until Carrie walked in.
She was a brunette, she was hot, she was big-chested, she had great legs, she was clothed. She walked up to the bar and shouted at the bartender, her voice having not yet adjusted to the quietness of the room.
She must have been out on the loud dance floor, where you had to scream to be heard. She ordered two Coronas, one for herself, one for her friend.
She stood next to Jarod, who ever so casually let his arms fall to his sides so she could see his naked crotch area. He kept looking at the television, not wanting to seem too desperate to join her in conversation.
She broke the silence.
"Oooo, nice," she said.
Jarod looked up. She was looking at the television.
"Nice shot," she said, talking about the game.
Jarod was disappointed, having thought she was talking about him.
"Yeah," he stammered. "That guy can shoot the lights out."
She was already walking away.
What a bummer, Jarod thought to himself. Were women just turned off by a naked male stranger?
Twenty minutes went by, and Jarod had a few more drinks. He was getting drunk, but he still had hope for this evening.
Marcy walked in. Jarod caught a glimpse of the blonde beauty, dressed in jean shorts and a white top, but then looked away.
Same kind of deal - the woman walked up to the bar, Jarod keeping his eyes on the TV, and she ordered a pair of drinks.
Jarod heard the woman make a sound, like air coming out of her nostrils in a slight gasp. It was almost like she did it to get his attention, and he obliged by looking up. But he was too late. She was already heading back out to the dance room.
Shit, Jarod thought. Another blown opportunity. Over the next half hour or so, more women came in, and more women left.
Jarod's hesitance to make direct conversation with any of them didn't allow any talk to develop.
Finally, he saw Carrie, the first woman he saw that night, come back into the room.
He turned away, but he soon felt a tap on his shoulder.
He swung the bar stool around.
"Excuse me," said the girl. God, she was even hotter up close.
"My friends and I wanted you to know..."
She hesitated, she looked away with a smile, embarrassed.
"Yeah?" asked Jarod.
"My friends and I wanted you to know you have the biggest penis any of us has ever seen," she said, her words getting out only because the amount of alcohol she drank that evening allowed her to be so brazen.
"Oh...well, thank you," Jarod said.
"You see," she said, touching his knee. "I came in here earlier (hiccup) - oh, excuse me. I came in here earlier and saw...your thing (looking down to his crotch and pointing), and I couldn't believe how big it was. I told my friends about it, and they each took turns coming out here to check you out."
"Wow," Jarod said, surprised how good this night was turning out to be.
"We were wondering if you could settle a debate for us," she said.
"Yeah, what's that?" Jarod asked, making a cute face.
"Could you tell me how big your penis is? We (hiccup) actually have a wager going on amongst us girls, guessing how big it is," she said.
Jesus Christ, Jarod thought.
"It gets up to 11 inches," he said proudly.
"Eleven? Jesus, nobody guessed that high," Carrie responded, slapping her sexy tanned thigh. "I said nine - I guess that's the closest."
Jarod just stared openly at her legs, and it was good timing. He suddenly needed to get an erection.
"Can you show me?" she asked. "My fiancé is only five inches - I didn't know they got to be as big as 11 fucking inches."
"I can show you," the nude gentleman answered.
He kept staring at her legs, closer to him know as she plopped her beautiful butt on the bar stool next to him.
His penis started inching down his right leg and began to get harder and thicker. Starting to straighten out, it fell down between his legs and began to get airborn.
It lifted up off the stool only slightly, its weight so substantial.
"Nice dick," the woman said in such a sincere fashion.
"Ever seen a dick this big?" Jarod said, now not at all hesitant about talking to this girl.
"Never," she said, shaking her head with a smile. "It's almost as big as my fucking arm."
Jarod tested that theory. He brought the woman's forearm over to him, standing up beside her. He put it up against his massive penis.
Her forearm - not including her hand - was about nine inches. His massive member nearly equaled it.
"What a cock," she said. "How do you even fit it in your pants?"
"Very carefully," he replied.
She kept staring, and Jarod kept talking. His speech was interrupted.
"Jesus Christ," she blurted out. "Your balls are fucking huge!"
Indeed they were, they swung down between his legs a good five inches. The size of chestnuts they were, and even heavier.
"Touch them," he said, almost begging.
She did without any argument, and could not believe their weight.
"My God," she said. "I've never seen balls like this. They're huge."
She picked them up and let them drop over and over again to show the pull of gravity on such a heavy sack.
"Want to see me jerk off?" he asked.
Maybe he had gone too far.
"Sure," she said.
Jarod was in Heaven. Or at least at its doorstep.
He began stroking, going back and forth between one hand and two.
"Getting married soon?" he asked. He was just trying to make casual conversation.
"Next Saturday," she replied, staring wide-eyed at the man's oversized organ. He was staring at her well-rounded thighs.
"What's your boyfriend think of you going to a clothes-optional bar?" he asked.
"He doesn't know," she said, still staring at his penis.
"Guess he's out at a strip club or something with the guys?" Jarod asked.
"Pleeeese," she said. "If he did that, I'd cut his balls off."
Wow, Jarod knew who was boss in this family. He now wanted to reward this woman for getting him so hard.
"Wanna...know...why...my...balls...are so...big?" he said, almost unable to speak because he was putting so much effort into his jerking.
"Why?" she asked, not taking her eyes off his organ.
"To store all this," he whispered.
Jarod came, and came...and came. The first shot hit Carrie between the eyes, forcing her to cover them for a few seconds. She re-opened her eyes after recovering from the blast, and she still had plenty to watch.
Jarod shot another load, another, another, and another. The shots of come were drenching the woman's legs.
She still couldn't believe the very first shot, its force so powerful it hit her in the face. Her mind couldn't even register yet that Jarod was already in the teens with the amount of shots he was spewing out.
He moaned, and moaned even louder. Carrie's jaw dropped, and it might not have been the best time for that.
Miraculously, Jarod got a second wind so to speak, and his come shots went from short ones to more powerful ones, a huge jet of semen shooting right into Carrie's mouth. She almost choked out of shock.
Jarod was a freak not only because of his penis size, but because he could experience multiple orgasms. He went from almost being done coming, to shooting out rockets of come that drenched Carrie's pretty face and began running down her cheeks onto the tops of her beautiful, round breasts.
She shocked Jarod by kneeling before him.
"Just come all over my fucking face," she said.
That he did. She closed her eyes, and he spewed on her forehead, her cheeks, her lips. She opened her mouth, and he shot a loud in there too.
He then went around in a circular motion, coming in an oval shape around the woman's tanned face. He couldn't forget her hair, and came on the top of her head.
"Oh yeah, just fucking come all over me," she repeated.
He came in her mouth again, and she swallowed it. She then put her mouth around the huge head of his penis, and sucked out a few more blobs.
Finally he was done, and Carrie looked like a clown.
Her face was covered in hot, white come, and Jarod's monstrous penis finally sagged down to its eight-inch flaccid state.
She didn't even say anything to him, just began walking out. She was going to show her friends what he did to her, only she didn't make it.
She collapsed on the floor a few feet from the bar, obviously passed out from all the booze she consumed on her big night out.
The bartender finally returned, and asked what happened to her.
"Oh," Jarod said, looking down at his penis and thinking of all the come she swallowed. "She just had too much to drink."