Cold Hands

From the Spirit journal of Alonzo M., October 11

"Blue Curves. That's what I thought the instant I saw her. The bright blue of the frames of her glasses just jumps out at you, and she's … covered with curves. The line of her body is a long, graceful arc, with hemispheres and semicircles scattered across it in all the right places, including her face! I've never seen such perfectly round cheekbones, you could use her profile to trace circles onto graph paper. She's beautiful, she's just a beautiful woman. But, I digress. She had this crying girl with her, and I thought that's who was in trouble, but I still didn't know what I was supposed to do. I only knew I could follow these blue curves straight to R's room.

From an interview with Elizabeth R., recorded October 20

"I was taking Bev back to our room, and there was this guy there in the lobby. I recognized him as one of the RAs from another floor, though I didn't remember his name right away. His jaw dropped open and he stared at Bev for a minute before he collected himself and came over. He walked right up and said 'Is this her?' She said no, and asked what he was talking about. Then he said 'The girl is in the room, isn't she? Can you take me to the room?' He was really creeping me out, and Bev asked what he knew about Anna. Then he brought his hand up to his face and said 'Of course, ANNNNA.' He stared off into space for a second before he said that Anna was in trouble and a friend had sent him to help.

"We were both startled. Who else knew about this? Bev was a lot more calm and collected than I was, so she asked who sent him. He said he couldn't say. Bev asked him how he knew to come up to us, and he actually blushed a little bit and said 'Only Love Can Break Hate,' then he looked down and added 'Sorry, Uncle Roy.' Then SHE smiled and asked who Uncle Roy was, and he said 'Just someone who once told me not to make an ass of myself around pretty girls. I guess I didn't listen.' It was her turn to blush, and she did this little half-turn of her head, touched her hair, and looked back at him! I was furious she was FLIRTING with this guy! Anna was upstairs bleeding!

"So I demanded that he tell me about Richard. He looked surprised and said that Richard wasn't the real problem. He said that Anna was being tormented by a Demon, not a ghost. THEN he said that RICHARD was the one who'd sent him to help! I said I didn't believe him and I grabbed Bev's arm and started to pull her away, then he grabbed her, too, and he said 'How else would I know about the window?' That stopped me. He was for real."

From an interview with Beverly W., recorded October 15

"When he touched me, his hands were freezing. I said so, and he let go of me, embarrassed, he apologized and said that's one of the things that tend to happen when you talk to ghosts. I said I believed him, and said it was okay, and it just kind of popped out when I said 'Cold Hands, Warm Heart.' I mean, you know the saying, right? It honestly didn't occur to me that I was being too forward. Given what happened after that, I guess it seems tame."

From the Spirit journal of Alonzo M., October 11 (continued)

"I understood Richard's plan. It all fell into place as I was talking to Bev. He didn't send me to the room alone, because he knew the Demon would kill me. He sent me there with someone I could love (you should see this woman, Mom!), and that's why he'd said 'ONLY LOVE CAN BREAK HATE.' I had to go into the room with her and, well, Love, and that's how we could fight the Incubus. I was more nervous than frightened. Richard survived his fight with the thing, after all (it hadn't occurred to me that he survived because you can't kill the dead)… but to be honest, I was preoccupied with Bev's curves. I'd have followed her into the mouth of Hell. Really, that's pretty much what I ended up doing."

From an interview with Elizabeth R., recorded October 20

"Bev kept on touching her face and looking at Alonzo sideways in the elevator up to my room. She was trying to make pleasant conversation about what it's like to talk to ghosts, and she actually giggled twice when he told his stories about his Grandmother and some of his cousins or something. I was definitely starting to feel like a third wheel. I kept trying to remind them about Anna, and I wanted to tell them they could get a room later, but I didn't. When we got to my floor, I wanted Todd to be there, so I went to the hall phone and called him. They went into the room without me. I forgot, Bev had my key. She took it from me when I was starting to cry in her cubicle. I didn't go in. Maybe I didn't want to disturb them, okay, but okay, mostly I was just scared. Does that make me a bad friend? Or a bad person? I just haven't been able to set foot in there since I saw Anna all naked, and, well, you know… that day I left her there. When I came back this time, right before I went and got Bev, I think I was trying to prove to myself that I could go in. But even when I saw her on the floor, bloody and squirming like that, I couldn't move an inch. The only thing I could do was … nothing, until I had to run away. So, when Bev went in there with Alonzo, it took everything I had just to wait in the hall by the door. Was that so wrong? I was the one who called the ambulance, you know."

From an interview with Beverly W., recorded October 15

"I was really taken with Alonzo, I admit it. So, when I opened the door with Elizabeth's key, I wasn't prepared for what was in there. What I actually saw wasn't so bad as what I smelled! It was like an open sewer. And poor Anna, I hardly recognized her, I just saw a wounded and battered girl. She couldn't have even weighed a hundred pounds. I wanted to pick her up like a baby and to pet her little head. She was bleeding, like Elizabeth said, but even worse, she was making these sounds, these groans, it was almost like the wind. I just stood there and let the whole horrible sense of it seep into me. After only a few seconds of that, I wanted to turn around and run. Instead, I turned to Alonzo. I needed something or someone I could hold on to."

From the Spirit journal of Alonzo M., October 11 (continued)

"The first thing I saw was the cuts. She had several on her wrists and forearms, and I saw a few pretty bad ones that looked infected on her belly. There was… stuff… in there. Some of the cuts contained thick, crusty colors that don't belong on human bodies. The wounds that really bothered me were the ones on her breasts, even though they weren't as bad. I felt horrible even to look at her, naked like that, I had to turn away. In additions to all the blood she'd smeared all over herself, she'd gotten several messy handprints of it on the window, and she'd smashed the mirror. I think she used one of the bigger shards to cut herself open. That's when I noticed the bad smell. It must have really been awful, so this was one of those rare occasions when I've been glad I don't have a good nose. It wasn't just the air, either, it was the whole atmosphere, the room itself felt…well, wrong. Twisted. Unholy. I shut my eyes and shook my head, trying not to let it throw me.

"When I picked my head back up, I was looking into Bev's face and everything was better, or at least not as bad. She smiled at me weakly and said 'there's something we need to do, isn't there?' I said yes, and I brought her in close to me, hugging her and closing my eyes, because I really needed to hug somebody right then. She was great. After I relaxed a little, I whispered 'Love, Beverly. Only love can break hate.' I held her a while more, melting into her, and I tried to forget everything, but, she pulled my head into hers and gave me a nice, big, warm kiss. I could feel her lips and her tongue and the warmth of her body, and her curves, oh, man, that was the best part- you'd think that a woman with some substance on her would be a little bit fat, but she was soft and firm all at the same time, exactly the kind of body I love on a woman. She had a classic figure, like those pinups that were popular in the fifties. I could almost let the rest of the room go when I was in her arms.

"Before I knew what was happening, we weren't just kissing, we were necking, and I was tearing open her shirt. She had one leg wrapped all the way around me and she was humping against my thigh… my hands were roaming all over her, across her ass, over her back and ribs. My right hand was undressing her while my left was on her face, tracing her eyebrows and the line of her cheekbones and her lips as I looked into her eyes. She was panting, and I realized I was, too."

From an interview with Beverly W., recorded October 15

"The first time we kissed, it was like we were reaching out to each other. It's funny, but I feel like that's the first time we really talked, you know? We were worried about Anna, and we were scared of what was going on in that room. When you looked out the corners of your eyes, it seemed like… something… was moving. Maybe there was something out there, maybe the air itself was wiggling, I don't know, but I'm sure it wasn't just me. Alonzo said he saw it, too. But I tried to shake it off and just do nothing but kiss him. It was so easy, I just had to have those pouty lips of his in my mouth, and I think that… the room… made me kiss him more urgently, and he definitely responded. He was shivering in my arms, I don't know which one of us was more scared.

"But the thing is, the fear must have turned our senses all the way up, all the adrenaline running around in our systems translated itself into sexual energy. When he started taking my clothes off, I don't know why I didn't protest. Yes, I liked him and I was reaaaaaaaly into him, but I'd only just met the guy, and besides, it was freezing in there… it was so completely not like me, but I felt like it was what I had to do, and it was what I WANTED to do, too! I needed the heat of his skin, so I even helped get my clothes off… even my panties, god, what was I thinking, but before I knew it I was naked and I was stretching myself against him the way my cat Sneakyfoot stretches out on the rag rug in my kitchen! I think he liked it! Oh, hell, I know he did, he was stiff as a board. I could feel him through his pants. I had to get those pants off of him, and they practically came open by themselves. I loved the sight of his dick, not overly long, but nice and thick, that's more important, you know. It was in my mouth before I'd even realized I was going to do that to him, and I was sucking and licking and taking it all the way back into my throat… God, that was not like me at all!

"Then I started to worry. It really, really wasn't like me! It wasn't just me! There was something else there, in my head, that was trying to move my body, and it was working! I was more scared than EVER at that point, because I didn't think I could fight it, and it felt soooo good… I just kept going down on his dick… which was very yummy and horny, just throbbing away in my mouth like that… but I tried very hard not to get swept away with it. I knew what I was supposed to be feeling, and I tried to sort out what was me and what was the, uhm… Incubus. There. I said it. Up to that point, I guess I'd assumed that Anna had some kind of mental illness. I didn't even believe it was a demon when I first went into the room and saw the poor girl, but now I do. God help me, I know it's true. Whatever it was, demon or ghost or something worse, it was evil, it had all but killed Anna, and it was coming after me."

From the Spirit journal of Alonzo M., October 11 (continued)

"It took me too long for me to realize what was going on. I was careless, foolish even to go into the room in the first place. I knew it was an evil monster, but I hadn't expected it to be clever. I made it easy for the Demon- I allowed myself to be distracted by the most fantastic oral sex of my life. My hands were in Bev's hair, I was pushing into her mouth as she was deep-throating me again and again and again, it was like I was trying to fuck her face and she was trying to swallow me whole. I felt white light shooting up my spine, blooming like a firework in my brain. She felt so incredible, I know what a decent blowjob feels like, but this was so far beyond that, I scarcely knew what it was. Some tiny little part of my mind was jumping up and down, waving its arms in the air and shouting in a faint, squeaky voice, but I hadn't been paying it any attention.

"The Demon was using us. At first, I must have written it off as fear, or the nervousness of exploring a new lover, or something like that. But, from my limited experience with the real 'Richard,' I could recognize the presence of a spirit. This was R times ten thousand, and it smelled like spoiled meat. The beast was trying to ride us. It was suddenly so obvious, the Incubus feeds on sex, and innocence, and purity. It wanted our sex. It wanted to eat what we were feeling for each other, as human and pure and genuine as it was! My brain wanted to throw up at that thought, but my body responded with the most powerful arousal I'd ever imagined. My cock was hard like it's never been hard before, and my hips were pumping into her mouth with my every heartbeat- no amount of my willpower could stop either one! What the hell had I gotten us into?"

From an interview with Beverly W., recorded October 15

"Anna hadn't noticed us, or if she did, she didn't care. I don't even know how much of Anna was really there, or if there was any of her left at all. Her body was still laying there on the floor, moving around a little and that's it. You'd think that if one of her teachers walked into her bedroom and started giving a strange man a blowjob right in front of her, she'd at least be a little curious. But, no, nothing, that's how far gone she was.

"He gasped, like he'd been running out of air, and I felt his fingers curl themselves tight into fistfuls of my hair as he came. It hurt, the way he pulled my hair and jammed his cock against my throat like that, but I didn't mind. It was as if the pain didn't hurt, it almost felt good. It still felt like pain, but the part about pain being bad had been left out. I expected his dick to go down after that, I usually have to wait for a guy to get it back up and I'll inspire him by masturbating myself in front of him, or sometimes I'll use his hand, but Alonzo stayed hard as a rock, and he pulled my head back, looked into my eyes, and said 'It's in me. I can't stop.' He picked me up and his clothes just kind of fell off. That was weird, too, you usually have to do at least SOME halfway awkward wiggling around to reach that one last hook or button, to shake your arm out of a sleeve, or to shift your weight so you can scoot your pants off, but this time, both our clothes had just fallen away, like that Erica Jong thing in the seventies, what was it, the 'Zipless Fuck?' We were both very naked, and I was just washing away in sensation, I was on FIRE wanting him in my pussy.

"He went in all the way on one stroke. It was easy, I was as wet as a monsoon season. He growled at me and said my name, but I couldn't speak. He was pumping into me, again and again and again, really hard, hard enough to leave bruises. The only thing I could do was just make sex noises, and I didn't even have control of that. I was caught in a wave, tumbling around in the undertow of sensation, helpless to do anything on my own. I knew where Anna was. She was stuck in there, watching it all from the inside, paralyzed, like me. Like us."

From the Spirit journal of Alonzo M., October 11 (continued)

"It kept getting bigger and bigger, keeping the pressure on us, so we kept going further and further and I couldn't stop. I'd lost control of my hands… not that my mind was complaining too much about it, since my hands were full of luscious scoops of Beverly, and my body was thrashing around like I'd grabbed a live wire. I guess I had. Paranormal Viagara. I'd already come and my dick wouldn't go down, I was fucking and fucking and fucking and it was the best thing I've ever felt in my life. But still, it wasn't right, this wasn't me. For one thing, I try to be sensitive and considerate with a woman, I want to learn how to please her and I pay attention to what she wants. Not this time, I just crammed my cock into her and she took it. For another thing, I'd never had sex with a woman without a condom on, and I hadn't even thought about it this time. I ALWAYS think about that, because I don't want to get anybody pregnant and I don't want to get any diseases or anything, and that's always the first thing on my mind. I care about my lovers, and I care about myself. This THING didn't. It was using me to fuck this girl, it was forcing me to violate this brave, noble woman who was putting her body and soul on the line along with me to rescue that poor girl there on the floor.

"It knew what I was thinking. It was taunting me, overloading my senses with crashing waves of raw pleasure, and it was gleefully drinking in all my indignation and my inner rage as it kept fucking away at her with MY dick. I'd come again, up in her pussy, and I was still fucking, still hard as marble, like my boner was possessed. It was. Then, while the Demon was savoring my despair, my dick came out of her in a warm torrent of slippery, sticky spoo. My head reeled and lolled to one side as it went back again, my hands were on her ankles, bending her legs up over my shoulders as she lay spread open under me, and my body bent her back even further as the head of my bone weaved around outside her asshole, taking aim and drawing back. Inside I was screaming at my body to stop, but I wasn't driving."

From an interview with Beverly W., recorded October 15

"I had him up my, erm, anus. I don't do that. I mean, I'm sorry, I'm not used to talking about this kind of thing, but… I had a boyfriend who wanted to try it, and we went ahead and got me nice and drunk first, and we had a lot of lubricant, and he started with his fingers and he was very patient and everything, but it was just awful. It hurt, it wasn't fun, and I couldn't stand it! But there in that room with Alonzo, he'd been fucking me and fucking me like a stallion. He'd come in me… no condom, now that I'm thinking of it, goddamn it, he'd come in me at least twice and it hadn't gone down. He just kept going, and he pulled out and pointed it at my ass and I wanted to say no, but my jaw was practically wired shut. I felt the knob of his cockhead pressing, and I started to open up a little, I did NOT want him in there, and I looked into his eyes, trying to plead with him to stop, but he was turned away, trying not to look, and I knew he was no more in control than I was.

"My bottom hole couldn't hold up under the assault. He pushed in, I popped open and he was in all the way. It hurt like a… motherfucker. I was worried that something had torn open, I felt searing, ripping pain, but again, the pain was turned backwards and it felt great, somehow. My hips started moving, pushing back along the length of his dick and I was snorting with every stroke. I was dizzy and I thought I was going to pass out. I almost wished I would, because I couldn't stand to see any more of that, and that's when my head turned to look at Anna.

"She was standing up, three feet away, watching us with the same blank expression she'd had when we first walked in. I just froze. I mean, my mind froze, my body kept going like it was on autopilot, pistoning my butt back and forth on his nice thick dick and I felt my body actually WANTING her. Thankfully, I was able to at least close my eyes as she moved closer, reaching out to me."

From the Spirit journal of Alonzo M., October 11 (continued)

"Bev's ass felt like a tight rubber band, squeezing a single, tight, unforgiving ring around just one inch of my dick. Past that point, inside her, she was wide open and warm, and as my penis went in, then out, then in again, squeezing itself through that hard ring of muscle, it sent jets of ecstasy shooting across every pore in my skin and down along each and every hair. I never thought that this kind of sex would feel so intense, visiting her fundament was like going up into a bottle of joy.