Cold Rain - Wichita

When we met in the lobby, I was stunned by her attractiveness. Not really a classic beauty, but more of a cross between the-girl-next-door and the half-starved, anemic look of a model. She was the same height as me, right at six feet. She was slight, but certainly not boyish. She had a slightly olive complexion with quite long, dark hair cascading down her back in gentle curls.

The meeting went great. She was fascinated by my story and anxious to meet the kids. She agreed right off to go with me for the Monday meeting at the County Attorney's office. I had a longer term plan to ask her to tutor the kids in both English and Russian but I didn't mention that as yet. I was going to pick her up Friday morning to spend the day with the kids.

The minute she walked in and said hello to the kids, I knew I was in trouble. Their faces lit up like a Christmas tree, and Alina and Anna started jabbering to each other like long lost cousins. Both of the children ran to her, grabbing her legs and crying like there was no tomorrow. Alina knelt down and pretty soon she was crying too. Looking at her I realized how homesick she must be … and just how much the kids were missing their mother.

Later, the kids lay down for a nap while I talked everything over with Alina. She read the second, longer letter and basically told me that the kids' mom was in trouble and she had to run. She was out of money and was flat out of choices and someone was looking for her. It broke her heart but she wanted some kind American to take her kids and give them a good, happy home. There was more but Alina wanted to talk about it later. She did say it was very sad and maybe there was stuff we should give to the police. I remembered that Joe Cates wanted a copy.

Alina said she would translate the letter for the various authorities. One thing she told me was that it was clear that there was no one in California or in Russia that would have a claim to the children. I felt both sad and excited about that. Maybe there was a way I could keep these children and give them the love and care they needed.

Things moved fast after that. I was given temporary custody as long as my mom was there. If she left I'd have to turn them over to Child Protective Services. Before I could adopt them I'd have to have someone to be a mother for them. They also said there would be periodic visits by a case officer; most of them would be scheduled but for some they would show up unannounced. My dad agreed to come out for a couple of months - that gave me some breathing room about Mom staying longer. But I sure needed a creative idea.

Alina did agree to the tutoring -- we worked out an arrangement for fees and times. She had an old beat-up VW so transportation wasn't a problem. She would start during the holiday break. As she left I thought about one of the things she was concerned about. She was in the USA on a student visa and would have to return to Russia in June when she graduated. I had an idea but I'd have to think about it.

I invited her to come for Christmas. Our family tradition was always to go to the Christmas Eve mass, have a big dinner around eight or nine and open presents afterwards. It always worked out great since everyone could sleep in.

We didn't have any meetings with any of the county authorities until after the first of the year. I did drop off a copy of the translated letter to both the Child Protective Services and to Joe Cate. The letter was stunning in its sadness and I was irate that something like that could happen in America. I read the letter again, tears in my eyes:

Translated by Alina Zvonareva on this 17th day of December 2006. The translation is literal to better show her mood and feelings.

My name is Ludmila Serova. I am from Moscow.

I write this story with the truth, as I know it. I use real names and attached is a list and description of all the bad men and everything that I could remember.

My father always called me Elena, but he died when I was seventeen I stopped using that name. My mother had died when I was twelve.

I lived with my aunt and uncle for one year, then they told me, "Ludmila, there is no opportunity here. We understand that a lot of girls go to America. Anna Abelev down the street married a man from Chicago and her mom says she is happy. She gets a letter once a month from Anna.

Her mom says there is this nice man that arranges everything. He has a book of pictures and information about men. You look through the book and pick three men. They take pictures of you and write a description. This is sent to those three men. If any of them pick you then we arrange the marriage. If more than one likes you then you take your pick. If no one wants to marry you, then you pick three more men.

I thought it over and thought, "What can I lose?" I met the man and picked my three names. Two of them liked me. One was a farmer and I thought that must be hard work. The other man owned a restaurant in the movie star place of Los Angeles. I didn't think I could be a movie star but I had worked for my Uncle, Vanya, for years in his restaurant. I thought I could help this man.

I picked the restaurant man. He was older than I was by fifteen years but I didn't care about that. His picture looked kind; he was just a little chubby and didn't have too much hair. His name was Kirill Aleksashkin and he was from St. Petersburg. I was blessed to have a fellow Russian that would help me learn English and teach me how to live in America.

The man that helped me was Dmitri Budarin. He did the passport and all the other paperwork for me. He gave me the plane ticket to Los Angeles, where Kirill would meet me. I only thought he was helping me. May that man burn in hell!

The flight was a wonder for me, everything so different. When I got off the plane I had no problems with immigration and customs. Kirill was waiting for me and he was so nice. He greeted me formally in the Russian way. He took me to the parking lot and carried my small luggage for me. There was a large black van with a lot of seats - I think nine altogether.

When we parked he sat next to me in the first row of seats behind the driver. He told me, "We have to wait for some friends. Is that okay, Ludmila?"

I told him okay then he shyly asked me for a kiss. "Ludmila, we are to sleep together this night and we will marry soon. I already love you."

He started kissing me and put his hand on my breast. I was not ready for that so soon but he was my husband to be so I let him. For about ten minutes he put his hand on me in different places. I was embarrassed to do this in the parking lot. Then there was soft knock on the door and two more couples and a man I found out later was the boss.

His name was Lev Katzev and he was from Moscow like I was. The other two couples sat on the last two rows and Kirill was the driver. While we were in the airport and later heavy traffic, the man called Lev sat next to me and talked about Moscow.

We drove for a long time. I couldn't believe all the lights and the cars. America looked like a wonderful place. We went through a town I saw a sign that I remember as Palmdale then out to the country. Lev said we needed to go to a place for training for two weeks.

Then he did something strange, he said, "Sit on my lap."

It wasn't a nice way how he said it. I shook my head no and he pinched my arm really hard. I had a bruise for a long time. I was crying but he pulled me on his lap. He pinched my breast hard then put his hand up my skirt. I tried to stop him but he slapped me.

We got to a farm; it was not near anything. There was a large house and we all got out. An older Russian woman came out and told us to follow her. She took each of us to a separate room and told us to get undressed. "And I mean take off every thing! If you do not obey you will be hurt. If you don't obey on everything you will be hurt. I promise you."

A man came to the room and took all of my stuff. He said he was going to burn everything we had, even our passports. He looked at me in a way that scared me. I knew then I was in for a bad time.

An hour or so later, a man came in and hit me in the stomach then slapped me hard. He took me and I fought a lot. That happened twice more that night with different men. The next day when a man came in I fought again but not as much … and I didn't get hurt as much. After that I just lay there and let them do what they wanted to.

Then they took me to a house and men would come and use me. Three years later I got pregnant; I don't know how. They wanted to stop the baby but I told them I would kill myself. They moved me to the farm and I didn't have to do so many men for a while. My baby Anna was born and then two years later my beautiful boy, Pavel … Pasha, as I called him, was born.

I had to work hard to get my body back and I was one of the prettiest girls. They would bring rich men out and have parties for them. One of the men, he was old, over sixty, liked me and maybe felt sorry for me. One time he came out and all the men were gone and made me hurry to pack an old suitcase I used for the clothes for my kids and took me to the train station.

He said he had heard that they were keeping me around because they thought they could make a lot of money off of Anna in a few years. He told me that he wasn't a good man but he couldn't let something like that happen.

He gave me money for a ticket to Chicago and the address of his sister. He said he would call and ask her to help me out. I took the kids and that old cardboard suitcase on the train and I prayed for the first time in years that I could save my babies.

The first night on the train I saw Kirill and I knew all was lost. There would be men waiting for us in Chicago. Kirill was just watching us to make sure we didn't get off. I didn't have much money left; I had no hope anymore. The idea came to me if I could get the kids off I could save them.

The first two times I tried to put off the kids Kirill was too close and the stop was for longer time. Finally I heard someone say the next stop was in a place called Newton and it would be late at night. The train would stop just for one passenger to get on.

I had to take a chance; there might be no other. I wrote this letter and put it with the kid's papers. Take care of my babies and get bad men. I cry for my babies. I cry for Ludmila.

That week before Christmas Alina came over every day to get to know the kids better. Without really thinking about it I realized I wanted to get to know her better. I'd have to consider that some. I realized I had told mom I wasn't interested in women but now I was hedging a little … at least to myself.

During this time Alina wasn't doing the more formal education tutoring we'd talked about. She was trying to make the children feel comfortable and to start teaching them some rudiments of English necessary for some basic communication. She would make it a game - like learning the names of all the foods at each meal, how to say good morning, stuff like that.

It was amazing to me how fast the kids filled out. They always ate everything on their plate but never asked for more. I figured that was from years of there not being anything else to eat other than what they were served. They were becoming more relaxed but were still very shy, especially Pasha.

Alina knew about Anna's birthday being on Christmas Eve so we planned a party for them. We were going to include Pasha like it was his birthday also - he wouldn't be five until March. After my not thinking of buying toys that first day we had the kids my mom and Alina gently shoved me aside and said they would do the shopping. Dad was here by then so he was the designated chauffeur for what seemed to be lots of shopping trips.

Alina said that both she and the kids were Russian Orthodox so it was fine for us all to attend the church I usually went to -- the large, new Catholic Church way out on East 13th Street, about ten miles from my ranch. I guess ranchette would be a better term since it was only twenty acres.

She went on to explain that the Eastern Orthodox Church was essentially Catholic in belief but not under the See of Rome.

"I attend the St. George Cathedral and there is a small Russian Community there. They have dinners once a month with food and music from our country. I'm sure Bishop Basil would be happy for me to bring the children to church with me and make sure they receive all their sacraments and any necessary instruction."

This touched me and she could see it in my eyes. Alina squeezed my hand and smiled. We went on to talk about the Christmas Eve party with her with the special birthday add-on.

CHRISTMAS EVE

Dad had flown in early. Mom hated planes but Dad would rather fly. Mom had told him about the kids on the phone so he was prepared when he saw them. He tried to act tough but I saw the tears in his eyes when they shyly gave him a hug.

With my parents and Alina we went to the five o'clock mass at my church where, as it was every year, the children's choir sang the traditional carols. The kids looked really cute in their new clothes and their eyes were huge as they were given candy canes when we left the church.

When we got back to the house, Alina told us, "I have to go back and change and pick up a couple of things. On the way back I'll pick up my date, if that's okay with you."

Date? Damn, what was that about. She hadn't said anything about a date, or that she was going with anyone.

Mom saw my confusion and quickly told her, "Alina, that's fine. We'd like to meet your young man."

She started to say, "Well, he's not …" but then shrugged her shoulders and left.

I looked at mom but she just shook her head and walked into the kitchen. I poured a small bourbon with a little water and sat in the den watching the kids playing with some of their toys. I turned on the TV, something on Disney, and they came up and sat next to me on the sofa. I guess the idea I'd had was pretty stupid … maybe it was more of a daydream than an idea.

I'd thought that maybe Alina and I could have some kind of a sham, but legal wedding, allowing her to stay in America and me to have someone to help with the kids. Something like in Green Card, which had always been one of my favorite movies. Well, anything with Andie MacDowell in it would be one of my favorites.

The way I envisioned it was that it would be strictly platonic -- just a way to solve both of our problems. At some level though I couldn't really lie to myself and I knew that if there were more it wouldn't break my heart. She seemed the sweetest girl but what could she see in me? I guess we both were focused on aeronautical engineering but I figured she was about twenty-five and that made her ten years younger than me. Add to that the baggage of a failed marriage … staring at the fire while the kids watched TV it seemed the "ho, ho, ho" had gone out of Christmas.

The doorbell rang and I jumped up to get it. I was at the door before I remembered that Alina wouldn't be alone. She waltzed in with a swarthy Latin in tow -- I later learned he was from Guadalajara.

"Ben, this is Manny Rivas. He's the coach for the women's tennis team at WSU. Manny, this is Ben Johnson. He is an aeronautical engineer at Beech."

I instinctively disliked Manny … intensely. He was an inch or so shorter than I was but stocky, with wide shoulders. He tried to crush my hand but I was having none of that. He quickly backed off and tried a different way to show how macho he was.

"Alina's been my best gal ever since I coached her as an undergraduate. She was all Missouri Valley her last two years. Hey, she's a really hot number, isn't she?" He walked off giving her a swat on her slim but firm butt and wandered off muttering something about, "Ain't there no place to get a drink around here?"

Something tightened in my throat and I looked askance at Alina. She flushed, obviously embarrassed, and put her packages on the hallway table and went off looking for the kids. I shrugged and walked into the kitchen to see if mom needed any help.

Dinner was great: mom had fixed her usual turkey with all the trimmings. I ate too much as I was wont to do and it wasn't hard to entice the kids into having seconds. It was amazing how well behaved they were. I could see they were still hungry but instead of asking for more they quietly sat and looked at their plates. Alina smiled at me and served them some more, quietly saying something to them in Russian. Alina had fixed several traditional Russian desserts and I could see Anna and Pasha starting to look plump just eating them.

Manny made an ass out of himself during dinner, cracking crude jokes, starting to eat before I'd said the prayer, reaching for things instead of simply asking for them and polishing off a bottle of Pinot Noir from Carneros without even blinking. If he came as a package with Alina I was going to have to rethink my plans to use her to tutor the kids. Every time he did something stupid Alina would turn red and look away.

The image came to me of Manny making love to Alina -- no, a man like that could never make love, just rut -- and I lost my appetite and didn't eat any of Alina's delicious looking desserts. She looked at me when she passed the dessert plate and when I didn't take anything she looked hurt. How could I explain to her why I had lost any desire for dessert?

After everything was finished in the kitchen we gathered around the tree. Mom had made a Santa costume for Dad and Alina explained the Santa Claus tradition to Anna and Pasha as best she could, but it was clear that the kids were only interested in the boxes and packages around the tree.

Before she passed out presents to the kids she told them the story of the Babushka. She told it to them in Russian and told us in English after they went to bed.

Babushka (meaning 'grandmother') distributes presents to children in Russia. According to the folktales, she is very old and when the Three Wise Men stopped on their way and asked her to accompany them to visit Jesus, she declined because it was very cold. However, she regretted the decision later and set off with presents for the baby in her basket. However, she never found Jesus and in the hope of finding Him one day, visits all the houses with children and leaves toys for the good ones.

I guess we had gone a bit overboard -- the kids both looked overwhelmed with the bounty they reaped. I gave Alina a nice silk scarf and a pair of very soft gray leather driving gloves, both from Italy. She ran over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I looked over a Manny and he was steaming! I guess he didn't like me any better than I liked him.

She gave me a nice leather billfold. I guess mom had told her mine was wearing out. She gave mom a set of Babushka dolls -- the outermost one opened up to reveal a smaller one inside. This continued until there was a tiny doll in the inner core. Mom cried when she opened it.

Except for the intruding presence of Manny Rivas it was really a quite nice Christmas. Alina left a lot earlier than I would have expected -- she and Manny left right after the kids went to bed. I lay awake for a long time worrying what would happen to Anna and Pasha. The poor kids deserved better than life had given them. If Alina had to go back to Russia and I couldn't find someone to be a mother for them they would be taken away from me … and that would hurt a lot. I was starting to think of them as my kids and they were already firmly entrenched in my heart.