Coming to Grips Ch. 01

Reaching out, Suzanne put her hand on Chloe's arm. "Chloe, it's okay. It doesn't bother me. I just want to know who."

The touch helped Chloe to focus and get her nerves under control. She looked at Suzanne. "Who? Suzanne, it's you of course," she said in almost a whisper.

Suzanne felt her heart constrict. "Chloe is falling for me?" she thought. Her feelings were so mixed up that she couldn't tell one from another. There was exhilaration accompanied by sheer terror. After a moment, she realized that Chloe was waiting for her to reply. As much as she wanted to say something amazing, all that came out was one word.

"Me?"

Her response made Chloe laugh a little. "Yes you, Suzanne. Who else could it be? I said I was falling for someone, not attracted to her. You're who I spend all my time with." She desperately wanted to move her hand and take Suzanne's, but Chloe found she couldn't. Her hand felt paralyzed. "And while you make it hard to read, I think maybe you feel the same way."

"You do?" Suzanne said and immediately kicked herself for how she was continuing to talk like an idiot. She wanted to say more but her brain felt all foggy.

"Yes," Chloe said with a tiny smile. "My gaydar went off just enough to have a little hope. But most of all, I hope I haven't screwed up our friendship. Even if I'm wrong about you, I can't lose you as my friend."

The clouds suddenly lifted from Suzanne's mind and she found she could form coherent thoughts again. "Oh Chloe, don't worry," she told her friend. Suzanne took Chloe's hand in hers and squeezed it tight. "You are my best friend! Nothing is going to change that!"

Chloe answered the pressure from Suzanne's fingers with her own. Her nervousness lessened just a little bit. At least Suzanne had not run from the room. It has been one of her worst fears. But she still wasn't sure how Suzanne felt.

Even with Chloe having confessed her feelings, it didn't make it any easier for Suzanne. That part of her had been locked up for so long. Since the time with Dawn, she had never acted upon it. Most of the time, she tried not to even acknowledge it. Suzanne knew what she wanted to say, but it was hard to start.

When she still didn't say anything, Chloe finally asked. "Am I wrong about you?" Her voice cracked in a heartbreaking way.

That was all it took. Now she was hurting Chloe. "No, you're not." She tightened the grip she had on Chloe's hand and looked her in the eyes. "It's hard, you know? Chloe, I've kept this part of me secret, from my friends, from my parents, from everyone. But yes, I fell for you a while ago."

The way that Chloe's face went from crestfallen to ecstatic made Suzanne's heart clench again. This time however it was in a good way. The affection showing in Chloe's eyes was something amazing. Suzanne hadn't realized how much she had longed for it.

Although she wanted to move closer to Chloe, all the time suppressing her feelings made Suzanne hesitate. Having been out, Chloe had none. She scooted over and reached out to stroke Suzanne's face. The way that Suzanne closed her eyes and leaned into the touch told Chloe everything she needed to know about how Suzanne felt. When she lowered her hand, Suzanne's eyes opened again. The way they were sparkling made Chloe want to melt. She pulled Suzanne into a big hug with her chin resting on Suzanne's shoulder. For a moment Suzanne did not respond, but then with a sigh she put her arms around Chloe like she had dreamed of doing. It felt as good as she imagined it would.

As they relaxed the hug and looked at each other, Chloe grinned. "So you never guessed about me?"

Shaking her head, Suzanne's expression was more serious. "No, Chloe. I've been hiding so no one can guess about me. I don't know any ..." She paused for a moment and then went on. "Other lesbians. I guess I've got no gaydar."

Remembering the uncertainty that she had felt just moments before, Chloe gave Suzanne another hug. "I'm sorry, Suzanne. I shouldn't tease you." She looked into Suzanne's dark eyes and saw that they were welling with tears. Chloe knew that she was screwing things up and making her friend feel terrible. "Oh Suzanne, I didn't mean anything by it!" Chloe said desperately trying to fix things. She gave Suzanne a tight hug.

"It's not that. I'm just not alone now. Someone knows; someone I trust." Suzanne said as she sniffed and tried to hold back the tears. It didn't work and a few tears started to run down her face. Despite that, she smiled at Chloe. "Someone I wished I had the guts to tell," she said in almost a whisper.

Chloe felt Suzanne pulling away from her and once again looked her in the face. Tears continued slowly to run down her face with no sign that they were going to stop, but she was looking intently back at Chloe. Hesitatingly, Suzanne brought her face close to Chloe and gave her a little kiss that gradually grew. Their lips slowly moved against each other as they shared their first kiss. It did not last long but the ending was filled with yet to be fulfilled desire. Suzanne's lips caught Chloe's and lightly pulled on it until it slipped away.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," Suzanne said shyly. "I never really thought I would." The tears had stopped and despite the redness of her eyes and the tracks of tears on her cheeks, Chloe loved the smile on her face. It steadily got wider and wider. There was a twinkle in Suzanne's eyes as she said, "It was as good as I imagined."

That put a big grin on Chloe's face too. "You do that pretty good for a church going girl. You must have been practicing with someone." Seeing how Suzanne's cheeks blushed, Chloe giggled. "Ah, who is ..." she started to ask before pausing. Chloe suddenly connected the dots and finished. "She?"

"Yeah, it was a she. But it was a long time ago, and it wasn't like that. It was just practicing for boys." Suzanne said, hating the rise in the pitch of her voice. She didn't really want to tell the story but Chloe wouldn't let her off the hook. Finally, she told the story.

"But that's the only time with a girl?" Chloe asked when Suzanne finished.

"Yeah. I mean I've kissed boys but that was the only time where it was with a girl. I was too shy to bring it up and Dawn never mentioned it. I think she forgot about it after a while." Suzanne's voice became wistful. "I never did."

Despite herself, Chloe felt a tiny spike of jealousy. She knew it was ridiculous. Dawn didn't even remember, and certainly didn't have thoughts about Suzanne. But even still, there was a part of Suzanne that still thought about Dawn. Chloe chided herself. Suzanne was with her and already told her that she felt the same way as Chloe.

Somehow Suzanne sensed what Chloe was thinking. She embraced Chloe and gave her a little kiss. As it ended, she reassured Chloe. "Oh, I don't mean Dawn. I just meant kissing a girl. Up until now, Dawn's kisses were the best kisses ever. Not anymore."

With that, Suzanne slid her hand up onto the nape of Chloe's neck and pulled her into another kiss. This time the restraint and tentativeness were gone. Her lips pressed hard against Chloe's. After a moment, Suzanne parted her lips a bit. Slipping her tongue out, she stroked Chloe's lips. They parted automatically and Suzanne's tongue pushed in. At first she didn't go deep. Her tongue caressed the inside of Chloe's lips. But when Chloe's tongue touched hers, Suzanne extended it fully so that she could play with Chloe's. Their tongues rolled together as the kiss deepened and became more active. Both of them were softly gasping as they let their passion out.

When Chloe put her hands on the small of Suzanne's back and pulled her closer, Suzanne gladly pressed her body against Chloe's. She knew that her own nipples were erect and she felt Chloe's poking out against her. "God, I hope she is as into this as I am!" Suzanne thought. It had been a long time coming and it felt so good now that it was happening. Even though she was the aggressor in the kiss, she did not know how to take the next step. She was not even sure she was ready. She had never done anything more than kiss with someone.

Something of her thoughts must have come through. Slowly Chloe began to tone the kiss down. She didn't just want to pull away. Suzanne was at too fragile a moment to give her the wrong impression. But Chloe cared too much for her and wanted to let them take their time. There were lots of bridges to cross if they were going to be together. Gradually Chloe's tongue disengaged from Suzanne's. She also began to kiss around Suzanne's mouth rather than just on it. They were softer and more sensual kisses, but restrained at the same time. Chloe could tell how excited her friend was. It would not take much to break down any resistance, but she didn't want it that way. Running her hands up and down Suzanne's back, Chloe finally ended the kissing and just held Suzanne in her arms. Both of them looked in each other's eyes.

"You don't know how many times I almost kissed you. I dreamed about it for so fucking long," Chloe told her.

"Why didn't you? I wish you had!" Suzanne said with a little smile.

Chloe looked back at her with a much more sober look. "Oh you say that now and knowing how you feel makes me wish I had. But Suzanne, I didn't know. There was a chance, and it seemed huge, that you'd be horrified and I would lose you as even a friend. You're kind of known for being a good church girl, you know." Taking Suzanne's hand, she squeezed it. "I guess I just decided I would rather have my best friend than risk it."

The smile slid off Suzanne's face. She knew exactly what Chloe was saying. Playing the good church girl was her way of fitting in. Unlike Chloe, Suzanne had never lived any place where being gay was accepted. Listening to her classmates making casual homophobic comments was something Suzanne had grown up with. They weren't always cruel. Sometimes it was just offhand. But Suzanne had little doubt that opening up would make her their target.

And then they would be cruel, despite her long friendships with them. She had seen it happen to one boy who was a couple years ahead of her. She didn't know him since he came from one of the other towns. She heard that he was always a little effeminate and had been teased about it growing up. During his junior year, he admitted to one of his close female friends that he really was gay. He thought he could trust her to keep his secret. He was wrong.

It did not take long for word to get around school. While there was a small cadre of friends who stayed with him, Suzanne was stunned at how some of his best friends turned on him. His two closest guy friends felt like they had to be especially cruel to erase any suspicion that they were like him. Despite the school district's refusal to have a gay ally counsellor, the principal and much of the staff did what they could to protect him. It didn't stop him from getting into a few fights. In the end, he did not want to come back for his senior year. His parents got a variance to have him go to a different school in Everett, a small city between them and Seattle. It meant that he had to drive 40 minutes each way but it was still easier than the alternative.

It had been eye opening for Suzanne. She knew she was not really happy with her life but the alternative could be so much worse. She kept her secret buried deep inside, until Chloe revealed her own.

"I'm sorry, Chloe. I didn't mean to be flippant. It took guts to let me know." She looked down and her voice dropped until Chloe almost couldn't hear her. "More guts than me. I never would have." She was on the edge of tears again.

Chloe pulled her into another hug. This time it was just a reassuring embrace. Neither one of them felt like turning it into something more. They both wanted the feeling of reassurance.

"Thank you," Suzanne said in that same tone of voice. Chloe wasn't sure if it was for speaking up, the hug or all encompassing. It didn't matter. Chloe felt better than she had in a long time.

A little nervous about taking things any further, the two of them curled up on the couch and watched a movie. Under a blanket, they snuggled in a way that was completely new. Occasionally they would kiss again; most of the time they were little pecks followed by happy smiles. Every once in a while they developed into something more and they passionately French-kissed, completely forgetting the movie. At those times, Suzanne felt her excitement building; at the same time, there was a nervousness that eventually made her pull back. Chloe never pressed and let Suzanne set the pace.

Suzanne also kept her eye on the clock. As the movie was getting closer to the end, she realized that her parents could come home at any point. She envied Chloe. Her mother understood and accepted her, even if she advised her to be cautious. Suzanne knew her parents would never be like that. She could not imagine them ever supporting her with that choice. More likely, they would disown her and toss her out of the house. Keeping secret what she and Chloe had was the only option for Suzanne. Losing track of time and being interrupted was her worst nightmare.

Still the movie ended before her parents returned. For a few minutes, they just enjoyed the feeling of being together. They talked for a while, interspersed with intermittent kisses. Chloe started to deepen one kiss and for a moment, Suzanne gave into it. She opened her mouth to let Chloe slip in her tongue. Her excitement grew as their tongues dueled, swirling around and caressing inside Suzanne's mouth. She wanted more but the fear came back. As she pulled away, Suzanne was panting. Looking at Chloe, she knew she probably had the same glazed look in her eyes as Chloe. "I can't, Chloe. I'm worried my parents will come home," she said. Her regret was clear.

Chloe knew she was pushing too hard. She tried to remember what it was like with her first girlfriend. Even if Suzanne's parents weren't due, Chloe wanted to make sure that Suzanne felt right about what they were doing. Chloe was not looking for a notch on a bedpost. There was something special between them and Chloe did not want to mess it up.

It took a little effort though for Chloe to get her own excitement under control, but then she nodded. "You're right. We should wait anyway, Suzanne. You're special and I want being with you to be special too." Leaning forward, she brushed her lips against Suzanne's. "Why don't we go up to your room and get ready for bed. We can at least cuddle!"

That make Suzanne smile a little. Chloe thought it was so cute. Suzanne had a queen-sized bed and just like other sleepovers, they were planning on sharing it. Since her room was right next to her parents, they would have to be restrained. But at least it wouldn't seem odd if they were close together in bed. After tidying up, they went upstairs hand in hand.

As much as anything, Suzanne enjoyed the feeling of holding Chloe's hand. No matter what the reality was, it felt like a normal thing to do with someone you liked. She could not help the big grin she got. Chloe noticed and soon had a matching one.

When they got to the top of the stairs, Suzanne suddenly turned and pushed Chloe up against the wall. "I know what I said, but I can't stop myself from doing this," she said. Her grin had taken on a decidedly wicked look. Pressing her body against Chloe's, Suzanne gave her a big deep kiss. Chloe happily went along with it. Her hands cupped Suzanne's bottom and pulled her even closer. Their mouths were wide open as they explored their passion for one another. Once again, Suzanne felt how hard Chloe's nipples were as they pressed into her belly. On the couch, their height difference hadn't been noticeable. Now it was obvious. Her head was bent down and she could tell Chloe was stretching up.

"Fuck!" Chloe said gasping as she broke the kiss. "If you keep doing that, I'm not going to be able to stop." Despite her words, she continued to pull Suzanne against her. A big part of Chloe did not want to stop, but her words broke the spell. A worried look took the place of the lustful one on Suzanne's face. Glancing downstairs, she pulled away. Mentally Chloe made a little sigh. Things were going to be more complicated with Suzanne; that was for sure. She didn't let Suzanne get completely away. Taking her hand, Chloe smiled at her. "At least you know you turn me on!" Chloe told Suzanne. She couldn't help chuckling at the way Suzanne blushed. "You're adorable, Suzanne."

After a slight hesitation, Suzanne replied. "Don't think that you don't turn me on too. I wish they were gone for the night, then I'd show you!" Her words were bold but she didn't feel nearly that certain. Her feelings for Chloe were, but Suzanne wasn't really sure how far she was ready to go. In a way, she was relieved that her parents were coming home. It gave her a little more time.

Stepping closer for a second, Chloe reached up to stroke Suzanne's face. When she spoke, Suzanne realized that Chloe understood her better than she thought. "Suzanne, I want to take our time. This is so new for you; us ... girls. Let's go at your pace. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thanks, Chloe," Suzanne said as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the intimate feeling Chloe's touch provoked. When Chloe started to take her had away, Suzanne turned her head and gave it a gentle kiss.

Hand in hand again, they went down the hallway into Suzanne's room. Grabbing her duffle bag, Chloe found her nightshirt. Looking over at Suzanne, she got a playful smile. Turning to face Suzanne, she began to sway her hips to music that only she could hear. It immediately captured Suzanne's full attention. When Chloe's fingers unbuttoned her jeans, Suzanne sank down onto the edge of the bed. Her gaze was locked on Chloe's hand as it grasped the zipper and slowly undid it. Her tight jeans opened up as soon as they were freed. Suzanne could see hot pink panties.

Rather than continue with her jeans, Chloe grabbed her t-shirt and slowly raised it. As it got higher, she revealed that her bra matched her panties. Her large breasts seemed to strain to get out. Not realizing that she was doing it, Suzanne licked her lips. Moving slowly in a circle, Chloe continued to take off her shirt. She pulled it over her head and threw it to the ground. That messed up her pageboy length hair, but Suzanne thought it made her look even sexier. It was what she imagined Chloe might look like after making love.

Once again facing her new girlfriend, Chloe hooked her fingers on her jeans and slowly worked them over her hips. It took some wiggling because they were so tight and not because Chloe was trying to be extra sexy. It had that effect on Suzanne anyway. She could feel tingling in her pussy as she watched Chloe's little striptease. Finally the jeans came free and Chloe bent over to push them all the way down. Her firm breasts hung down and Suzanne had an enticing view of her cleavage. Again she licked her lips.

Looking at Suzanne as she straightened up, the glazed look on Suzanne's face made Chloe smile. Stepping out of her jeans, Chloe came a little closer. Now all she had on was her bra and panties. Turning around so that her wonderfully rounded ass was right in front of Suzanne, Chloe put her arms up to cross them over her breasts. She looked over her shoulder. "Would you undo me?" Chloe said, trying to sound sexy. Even though she was trying to be in control, her voice broke a little to reveal her underlying nervousness. Chloe blushed with embarrassment. She felt better when she heard Suzanne squeak "Okay."

Suzanne's fingers were trembling as she touched Chloe's bra. Their tips grazed the skin on Chloe's back. It felt smooth and soft. She wanted to run her fingers along it but she was much too anxious. Her mouth felt dry as she grasped the hooks and undid them. As they came apart, Suzanne immediately let them go. For a second, Chloe didn't turn around and Suzanne let her eyes wander up and down Chloe's body unobserved. It was unblemished and tanned like the rest of Chloe. The small of her back drew Suzanne's eyes, yet she felt reluctant to really take a look at Chloe's ass. Just when she finally got up the nerve to look down, Chloe turned around. She felt her cheeks burn as Chloe caught her looking.