tagReviews & EssaysCommentary On The Cuckold Husband

Commentary On The Cuckold Husband

byDiane Marie©

I see I have gotten your attention. The truth is I'm not even sure myself where I'm going with this, I'm not even sure I'll stick to my intended subject.

Perhaps it's best to start out with a definition of the word cuckold. As defined in the dictionary "A man married to a unfaithful wife." Simple enough, the guy's wife cheats. Many men fit this category, it may surprise you how many wives actually have cheated at least once. But cuckold has come to mean something more, at least according to the many stories written on the internet, those stories about men who want their wives to be unfaithful. That does bring up the question of what is unfaithful, namely is a woman, who has sexual relations with other men with the total approval of her husband, unfaithful? I'm sure this could be debated but I think not. Being unfaithful, would to most people, be cheating, having approval is not cheating.

I think we need to redefine cuckold to mean any husband, who wants his wife to have sexual relationships with other men. I further propose that we refine the definition to mean a husband who desires, lusts and is at least somewhat obsessed with the idea. Adding further that he craves the humiliation of such an experience. Some of you may object to the last, but face it, watching someone else having carnal knowledge of your lover, knowing that she or he is also desirous of having sex with another has to be humiliating. Your lust for watching, or hearing about the event, may be greater then your humiliation but that really doesn't matter. In most cases, I believe that the humiliation is as big a motivating factor as the lust is.

I propose we define cuckold to mean a husband who desires his wife to humiliate him by having sexual relationships with other men. Of course there should also be a degree system involved in the definition. Cuckold I, cuckold II, cuckold III so on and so forth. This system would be set up by how submissive or willing to be humiliated the husband is to his wife in order to fulfill his lustful desires. Cuckold X being a husband willing to put up with any humiliation in order to watch his wife enjoy her lovers. According to my definition, any man who forces his wife into submission does not fit, and he shouldn't, he's nothing more that a rapist, it matters little that he wasn't the one doing the raping.

I kind like my system, don't you. Cuckold I, would be the man who's willing to allow his wife the pleasure of a mfm threesome but he's doing it for both of them, she'd like the experience and he'd like the thrill of watching. Nothing wrong with that, they both get something out of it.

Cuckold X, would be the other extreme, the husband is completely obsessed with the idea of his wife being with other men. She finally consents, at first to please him but finding she loved being with other men, she now continues for her own pleasure. It's not long before she realizes her husband well do just about anything to watch or even hear about her experiences. Just think of the advantages her life now takes on, he'll clean the house, watch the kids, do the laundry, shop for the groceries, tend the garden when she doesn't feel like it, and so much more. I'm sure he'd even procure lovers for her, if she so desired. I could list pages and pages of things I could think for him to do. If she's a bit on the kinky side, liking the sub/dom thing, wow, my mind is overwhelmed by the possibilities. Even if she fell out of love with him, he's a keeper, what a life of leisure she could have. Need some extra money for a vacation with your current lover, send him out to work at night, but only after he's found someone to keep her warm and comfy while he's working. Oh my god, why did I not think of this when I had the opportunity to make it a reality.

The other day I received an e-mail feedback from Literotica. Admittedly I have received many such e-mails, some pleasant, some not so pleasant, some very hateful, and some criticizing the mistakes I make while writing. The later I do appreciate, at least the ones that are constructive. I do want to thank some, those of you who were so complimentary on my writing and stories. To you who did, I say thank you very much.

Some of the e-mails, I hate to say, were very hateful. I don't intend to respond to those, other then to say, if you don't like my female characters then don't read my stories. I'll never write a story with a submissive woman, one who's husband or lover can force her to become a slut, if she becomes sexually liberated it well always be her choice.

I really don't understand the hate mail anyway, almost all of it is from men who want their wives to cuckold them. Personally I can't see much difference if it is behind their backs or in front of them. In my first story Diane, not really me if you haven't figured that out, had someone else's child. That created lots of hate mail, come on men if you want to play these games then it's a good possibility that any child born within your union well not be yours. Of course it may help if the men in your fantasies, I suppose some realities, worn condoms, but it seems to me, them not doing so is part of your thrill. It would even help a lot in not ending up with one of the many STD's out there. Maybe someday I'll do a tragic story about that, not that any of you would really want to face that possibility.

I can't forget to mention the hate mail I received because my characters always seem to humiliate their husbands. Give me a break, what could be more humiliating then watching someone else bring your lover to sexual ecstasy, and from the jest of most of the loving wives, wives loving other, stories few of you seem to be able to do that yourselves. I'm sorry if I offend, but if that is not blatant in your stories it does seem to be implied.

Back to the email aforesaid mentioned, it was from a man, complete with his email address, he wanted me to teach his wife to be just like me. I wonder if he'd pay me? I find this a strange request, first of all, how would he know what I am really like, these are just stories, of course part of me is present in my characters but they still aren't me. Granted not to many women write these kinds of stories, and a good number of those that do aren't even women, easily spotted, at least in my opinion. I find it even funnier that some of you men try to write lesbian stories then profile yourselves as a woman. Give it up guys, you can't understand the emotions, and sex is more emotion then it is the physical. At times I get side tracked, even I get confused, what was my point? Oh yes, a woman writing these kind of stories, that just has to turn you guys on, isn't that why you read them. I won't lie to you some of the loving wives stories surely have turned me on. Not that I read them for that reason, but I surely do have a category that I read purely for my sexual and emotional pleasure.

I truthfully say most women find this desires to be cuckold in any man to be offensive, thus they are not likely to write about them. But please don't imply to much from the fact that I write them. I write them for my own reasons, at first maybe driven by hate, now just a bit of self discovery, the what and the why of who I was and who I am now. At least one good thing has come from my writing, the hate is gone, all I see now is a pathetic little man, one whom I feel very sorry for. Although not so sorry I'd give back any of the divorce settlement.

Back to my email friend, what does he want me to teach his wife? To cheat on him, to humiliate him, to make fun of his little penis, I like that last, maybe she to chain him to the wall and invite all her girl friends over to join in the fun. Or maybe it is he wants me to teach her to ultimately find someone who she really can love. Those things are all parts of my stories. In each case my lead character became stronger and more self aware, something that I truly don't believe any of you really want. In each of my stories, my lead character has ended up with someone else. Maybe you needed to read between the lines to see that but she did end up with some other love connection.

Now if my email friend wants me to teach his wife to be just like the real me, he's in for one big surprise. One, I think, he would not truly be very happy with. I'd be happy to do that, no I wouldn't, I can't teach her how to be a lesbian, that comes from the heart. Calm down guys, I didn't say I don't like you men, did I. I'm not the man hating type, although most who are have good reason to be. Maybe I do have reasons to hate, reasons can be subjective, maybe I've even tried to hate men, that just won't work for me, I like men, I need men to be part of my life. I think I'm a lesbian because that is how god, or whomever, made me. I don't see it as a punishment, I love being who I am. Perhaps if I though my being a lesbian had anything to do with you men, I'd love you even more then I do.

In my mind I've always been a lesbian, one who admittedly hide for most of her adult life, but still the feelings have always been there. I was always attracted to women. Men only came later and that was more because that is the way it's suppose to work. Would I change my life if I could, most assuredly yes, but not all of it. I'd just would had accepted myself somewhat earlier is all. I would have missed to much if some of my men hadn't been part of my life. Sexually I'm more bisexual then lesbian, but all of us are or can be bisexual. To deny that is just asinine, sex is about pleasure, either sex can do that for us. In many past cultures bisexuality was the norm not the exception. To deny that you can receive sexual pleasure from someone of your own gender is to deny your own humanity. That in no way means you desire someone of you own gender, it is just the way we all are, if you allow it and your open minded, you well find pleasure. Homophobia is such a terrible thing, and I believe part of being homophobic is the fear of our own sexuality, acceptance of the fact that we are all bisexual would do much to defuse the hate.

Not that being gay is about sex, it truly isn't. Being gay is about much deeper emotions, about who we can and well love. About who can fulfill our most basic need, love between two people. It's about joy, pain, love, happiness, sharing, making a life together and so much more. It's just that being gay mean someone of the opposite gender isn't going to fulfill those needs. It's really very simple, it's not perverted, it's not sick, it's not wrong, how can love ever be wrong. How a person came to be gay isn't very material, some I think are born gay, some I'm sure have experienced some type of trauma that has made them gay but does that truly matter. What matters is that for a gay person to be happy, he or she needs someone of their own gender to be happy with. Some I'm sure well never be happy, but some heterosexuals well never be happy either. It's never easy to be happy, life isn't a peace of cake, but when society or some members of a society deny some, gays, the basic right to try to be happy, that is a sick society. Our society is at the present doing just that, and not just to gays, Blacks, Hispanics, American Indians, to some extend women, and many more group are subject to similar hatred. At present we seemed to be lost in our fight against terror, but isn't terror about hate, if we ourselves can't stop the hate in our own society, what chance do we have of stopping it in others??

Enough of my preaching.

If you've read any of my stories you know they all have a basic prejudice to them. Well at least where it comes to you men who have this desire to watch your wives/lovers having sex with other men. I base that not only on my personal experiences but on the stories you men write. First, a lot of you, including my third husband, feel inadequate in the size department. That is just so stupid, you have what you have, and to be a great lover you don't even need one. Second, you are not very satisfying lovers or you think you aren't. Again stupid, if you aren't you can be. Third, that no matter how dominating you are, you want to be humiliated. Figure out why you'll be happier. Forth, maybe the most important, is a lot of you see your wife/lover as a sex object, your relationship is not based on love it's based on lust. I realize that your stories are for the most part fantasies, but only because your wives won't or can't fulfill them for you. Object all you want to my last statement, but calling your wife a cum sucking whore is not love. Nor is getting your wife so drunk that men can take advantage of her, love. I could list a thousand more examples from the stories written here. Maybe that is how some of you look at all of us women, sexual object or worse. Some of you men write stories that are so degrading to your female characters that it truly scares me. Fantasy is one thing, but those stories aren't fantasy their are the ramblings of very sick minds. Those of you who write that way, you know if you do, need help, please get it.

I do have to admit, I have read some stories where the men just doesn't fit my prejudices. The lust is there, the desire is there, even the fact that he sees his wife as a sex object it there, but somehow the love he feels for his wife shows through. That was at first very puzzling to me. It opens up possibilities that I never even considered and I now accept that in some cases love could and most likely does survive in this kind of life style. I do understand swinging but that's about two people wanting to expand their relationships. Wanting to watch while the other has all the fun, or abuse depending on your point of view, is something I find harder to understand.

I better clear something up right now, I do not find it offensive to be seen as a sexual object, at times in any healthy relationship we see our lovers as sexual object. When that is all you see in your lover and that feeling is the primary one you feel, then it is a sickness. If you can't feel, love, tenderness, closeness, a oneness, a longing to give as well as receive while in the midst of your most heated, lustful, canal, passionate love making, then I feel so very sorry for you.

I can't help but wonder, if your fantasies became reality would it really be as good as some of you think it would be. What would your reaction be if you decided you didn't want to live that way but your wife decided she didn't want to return to a monogamist relationship. How would you feel when some other man picked her up for a date. How would you feel when she didn't come home one night because the sex was so wonderful, or worse yet she had loving feeling for the other man and wanted to wake in his arms. How would you feel when she told you she loved you but you alone couldn't satisfy her sexual needs. How would you feel when your friends knew your loving wife was available to them for their loving. Add to the above that most likely if your wife really loves you she'd expect you to remain faithful. At least I'd expect that, it was you who started me upon this path, it's what you wanted, not me. The fact that I liked being with other lovers wouldn't change how I felt about you cheating on me.

I've heard it said that men get their wives into swinging, then it's the wives who insist they continue in that life style. It's about the other men, not really about pleasing her man, so wouldn't that be the same way for the loving wife concept. Your wife may even try it the first time just to please you but if she finds she wants to continue, it would be about her pleasure, not yours. I'm sure some wives would find they liked having sex with multiple partners, and wanted to continue. Most of us at some time or other wanted a man other then our partners, some of us acted on that. I think you men sometimes underestimate our sexual appetite, you confuse control with lack of desire. I assure you, we can be just as lustful as you are. We are brought up to have that control, we carry the risk and burden of not being in control. Society judges us wanting if we do not show that control. If we act like men, as concerns sex, we are called sluts, where is the equivalent term for a man.

In a way it is sad but we as women are the harshest judges of all, and we judge other women by a much higher standard then we judge you men. That is slowly changing and in many ways that has already changed. Woman are already much more accepting of gender preference then you men are. Someday I think that word slut well disappear from the English dictionary, not because you men won't want to use it, we just won't tolerate any woman being called a slut. I really think Bill Clinton was lucky he was the president when he was and not ten years from now. The polls show, we as women did not judge Bill badly but we did judge Monica a slut. Someday we'll wake up and we'll see that men like Bill are users. When that day comes we may just decide we can be users to, you men may well regret that.

My point, I don't know that I really had one, just wanted to let you all into my head. My next story, most likely my last of the loving wife type, is going to be different. At least I'm going to try and make it different, it's being written at the request of a friend. I'm going to try to at least tone down my prejudices, hopefully eliminate them. We'll see, how well I succeed. A loving husband with desires to see his wife with other men, I'm sorry I'm still have trouble with that, although much less then I used to. But two can play that game, my lead character well have desires of her own, desires that may fit well with her husbands.

One last thing, I was rather disappointed about the response I received from my story about Peaches. Those that did read it, at least those that sent e-mails, liked it, but so few of you read it. That story was my best, at least that is my opinion. It was also the hardest for me to write. I based the character David on my first husband, not the whole character but the growing apart, the lack of attention, lack of affection part of his personality. My first husband was and still is the jealous type, so the fantasies and desires don't fit. And as far as men go my first husband fits my bill as the most physically desirable, his looks, his body, the size of his thingy, the only thing he lacks is The Voice. Maybe he really doesn't fit, maybe he never really did, but that is the way real love is, you love him, he fits and the love makes it so. What made it hard for me was trying to come up with the why. What was it about him or me that allowed him to put his work first and me second. A very poor second I may add.

I'm not sure I ever doubted my husbands love, but his actions made me feel so lonely, even when he was around he made me feel that way. Loneliness is a terrible thing, eventually you turn to someone else to make you feel whole again, just as Peaches turned first to Brandy, then later to Jeff. I like Peaches was not ready to, or willing to give my man up, so I cheated, that cost me my marriage, I no longer regret that but I did for many years. I really wish more of you would read her story, that may give me some incentive to continue it. Even I'd like to see where Peaches and David end up.

I do thank you for taking the time to read this. And here's wishing all of you loving, cuckold husbands the best, may you come home from work next week and find your wife making love to all your best buddies.

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byDiane Marie© 0 comments/ 117852 views/ 15 favorites
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