Complicated Ch. 06

Chapter 6

Max and I started meeting each other frequently during the week and some weekends at either his apartment or mine where we would immediately proceed to fucking each other till one of us passed out from exhaustion. I was amazed at how much my libido had shot up since the time I met Max. We never went out and we rarely got the time to talk except at breakfast. He always insisted on making me breakfast, which I was thankful for as he ended up making unusual but delicious things with whatever he'd find in the kitchen. But breakfast was only possible on those occasions where one of us had spent the night and I didn't need to rush to work in the morning. So even though close to a month had passed, I felt like I still hadn't learnt much more about Max than I did after the first time he made me breakfast.

Work had gotten a little hectic for me which didn't leave me time for much of a social life. I was due for a promotion and facing a lot of stress. The only respite I seemed to get was during my visits with Max.

Kylie had been away and had therefore missed the recent developments in my life. Her office had sent her away to France for six weeks related to a merger they were going through. She was due back that week and we'd made plans to hangout and catch up that weekend.

Max was already aware of my long standing plan with Kylie so I didn't need to call him and ask him not to come over that night. I wondered what he might be doing. In fact on more than one occasion I had wondered about what it was that Max did on the nights, especially the weekends that we didn't hook up. But, I never asked. I guess, in many ways I didn't want to know.

When the weekend came so did Kylie, as planned. It wasn't till I saw her that I recognised how much I had missed her during her time away. We sat and spoke while she popped open a bottle of fancy French bubbly that she had specially smuggled back for me.

We started talking about work and all the upheavals we had faced- Kylie and I have similar roles in our respective offices, which is another reason why I find it easier to talk to her than the rest of my friends- but eventually our talks turned to more delicate matters.

"So whatever happened between you and that young 'un from that club we'd gone to?"

"What do you mean?" I asked feigning ignorance.

"Is the sex still great or have you moved on?"

I sighed, "No. The sex is still great."

"So, what's the problem?"

I thought about her question but once more couldn't pinpoint the exact issue.

"There's no problem, except that I feel like something is amiss and I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Uh-oh!"

"What?"

"Are you dating anyone else?"

"No."

"Haven't you gone out with anyone else since this guy?"

"Ummm... No, but that's only because I've been so busy with work."

"But you have managed to go out with this guy, during this busy time, right?"

"Not going out, no, but I think I see the point you're trying to make."

"Do you? Okay answer me this. Has he gone out with anyone else?"

I would've personally liked to know the answer to this question myself, but, "I don't know."

"So, you're exclusive."

"No, I said that I don't know if he's seeing anyone else."

"Yeah, I heard you and I said that you, as in you, Nayana, are exclusively seeing this guy. You're making this more complicated than it ought to be."

"What is it that it ought to be?" I asked bitingly.

"Less involved."

"What's that s'posed to mean?"

"It means that you don't get involved with the person beyond getting your needs met."

"Oh, well, that it exactly how it is."

"Really?" She sounded surprised.

"Yes; really." I confirmed.

"Then why are you so conflicted about your situation? Do you want more?"

I hadn't considered this before; could it be possible that while I didn't expect more from my arrangement with Max that a part of me would have liked it to turn into something more.

"I suppose it's one of those urban fairy tales, isn't it? The booty call that turned into a happily-ever-after."

Kylie laughed.

"I'm glad to see that you still have your wits about you."

"And I'm glad that we spoke. It helped put some of this into perspective."

"We need to fix you up with a nice Indian guy."

"I hope this is not the part where you ask me to give Sid another try."

"You could do worse."

"Or a whole lot better." I waggled my eyebrows at her.

"You couldn't find any boy better than the match I got you girly," Kylie said while doing her best Yenta impersonation.

"Well actually Saira got you beat in that department. She fixed me up with a brilliant guy from my company."

"So, tell me more, tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car," Kylie sang the lines from the Grease musical.

"Nothing for now. I've just been too busy to go out with him again."

"Nayana! Pick up the phone right now and fix a date with that man." She said bossily.

It felt like everyone had taken to ordering me around those days or had I always been such a doormat, I wondered.

"Okay woman, no need to shout."

I grabbed my phone and pulled up Shrini's number from my contact list and dialled.

"Hi Shrini! ..."

"Yeah, it's me Nayana. ..."

"I know, I've been really busy. ..."

"Yeah, the appraisal cycles. ..."

"Shrini, I was wondering, would you like to have dinner with me sometime this week? ..."

"Tomorrow? Yeah, that works for me. ..."

"A reservation on the books at Nomad? Sounds pretty fancy. ..."

"I'd love to. ..."

"Shall I see you there? ..."

"Yes, seven o'clock is just fine with me. ..."

"Sure. G'night."

I could see that Kylie was more excited about my upcoming date with Shrini.

"Ooooh, Nomad! That's really fancy. Home boy is lookin' to impress."

"So, I did good?"

"You did very well grasshopper."

We were both laughing as we moved on to rummage my closet for the perfect outfit to wear on my date with Shrini the next day.

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The following night when I got home, Kylie was at my apartment waiting for me.

"So, how was it?"

"Oh my gosh, Kylie! The place was fabulous and their deserts were sinfully good. I swear I moaned enough that the other guests must've thought I was re-enacting Meg Ryan's fake orgasm scene."

"That's wonderful and all but I was actually asking about the guy!" She rolled her eyes at me.

"Shrini? He was brilliant as usual- turns out he's just as fluent in French as corporate law."

"And, what else?"

"What else?"

"Great kisser or has potential but will need some help or cold fish?"

"I wouldn't know." I pouted.

"Why?"

"We had to cut dinner short as he had a family emergency. He dropped me off and is headed to the airport... It's his mum." I explained.

"Oh, that really sucks."

"Why? He promised he'd call me as soon as he got back."

I pulled out my phone, browsed through it and handed it to Kylie.

"Look here, he even texted me to say he was looking forward to spending more time with me when he returned."

"Oooooh, looks like you caught a big fish."

"We will have to see about that." I said exaggerating my accent which made her burst into a fit of giggles.

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Two weeks had gone by without me hearing from Max. No calls, no late night drop-ins. I'd been too busy with work to have enough spare time to go visit him, so I hadn't ended up calling him either. I had however managed to stay in regular contact with Shrini who gave me daily updates about his mum and the rest of his family. I knew it was really weird how he was already communicating with me like we were in a relationship, but, this was familiar territory for me and it was easy to just fall in step with it all.

Shrini's mum was better and he would need to return soon to be present for our company's annual charity ball so he could be there to schmooze with the members of the board. He'd already asked me to accompany him as his date about a week ago. I felt like we were a bunch of high school seniors who were going steady with each other and would be going to prom together. But it didn't bother me not till it was time for him to return.

It was one thing to act like you were in a relationship with someone when they weren't in the same city as you; it was a different matter when they were. I began to grow nervous, uncertain about how I would deal with Shrini when we ended up meeting. Kylie's words of wisdom acted like the light in the dark for me, "You're complicating this more than you need to."

According to Kylie I needed to just play it by ear, go with the flow, and not plan my feelings for Shrini. I attributed my anxiety to a lack of sex. After a month of getting regularly fucked to satisfaction by Max the recent dry spell was most likely what was taking its toll on me. I tried calling him at his apartment a few times but didn't catch him. I texted him once but when I didn't hear from him I felt weird trying to reach out to him again. I figured he'd probably grown bored and moved onto shinier things. It upset me, but I blamed my mood on my sudden state of celibacy.

Shrini was returning that Saturday and had expressed that he would have liked to have me meet him at the airport. I wasn't comfortable with the idea. Fortunately for me I had a legitimate out- the girls had planned to go out the same evening. We'd made plans to go to club Papaya this time. The place sounded like one of those flavour of the month clubs that disappear after their month is up which is exactly why you should hit it while they're still around. Well, that was the reasoning offered by Jade anyhow.

I could tell that he was disappointed that I didn't offer to cancel on my friends. According to him, it was the only opportunity he'd have to see me for a while because he had to try and get himself caught up on whatever he had missed during his recent absence from work. As a consolation I reminded him that the company ball was on Friday and we at least had that to look forward to; it worked to brighten his mood a little.

I liked Shrini, he was fantastic on paper, smart and attractive in person and we got along well, so I didn't understand why I was so ambivalent towards him.

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Papaya turned out to be exactly the kind of place the name suggested- a tropical themed getaway located in the heart of the city. It was fun, but I could just tell that there was no way this place would still be around 3 months down the line. The place was very now, and not likely to last in the long run.

When I got to the place I noticed that this wasn't the 'girls only' night out I'd imagined it to be. Saira had shown up with Christopher, Eloise had brought her life-partner Deanne along and even Jade had showed up with a date. Good thing I could always rely on Kylie to show up alone like me for our nights out.

We got our drinks, sat down at a booth and immediately started chattering on about what was new with us.

"So, we hear things are pretty serious with you and Shrini." Saira said to the group more than me.

"You do? And where do you hear these things?"

"From my amazing boyfriend," said Saira as she turned to kiss Christopher.

"Shrini told me about how supportive you were throughout the recent crisis with his mom." Christopher explained.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Nayana, I've known that man for years and let me tell you he's smitten. I won't be surprised if I attend your marriage sometime this year."

"What!" It wasn't just me who had cried out in shock.

"I know Shrini, he's reached that point in his life that he's ready to settle down and start a family. And I know that his family is thrilled that he's dating an Indian girl."

Christopher may have perceived how conflicted I was on the matter of my feelings towards Shrini; he added, "If you're not serious about him, you should let him off the hook, now."

I remained quiet, uncertain about how to respond to Christopher's advice so I politely thanked him. I stayed distracted the rest of the night and Kylie finally had to admit in a defeated tone that it would be best if I were relieved of my frolicking duties and sent home immediately.

As I waited for a cab by the sidewalk I checked my phone and felt my heart race when I saw that there had been a call from Max. I dialled his number as I got into the cab.

"Hey, you called?"

"Yeah, are you home?"

"No, but I'm on my way."

"Alright, I'll see you there."

He hung up before I could suggest that perhaps I wasn't in the mood for company, which was true a few minutes ago but I was excited now. Max coming over always meant one thing.

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I noticed Max sitting on the floor outside my door as I walked towards it. His shoulders were drooping and he looked really tired. His eyes were dull and his whole body gave the impression of someone who was feeling rather defeated.

He didn't move to stand up when I reached him so I opened my door and grabbed his hand to pull him in with me. He slowly stood and followed me in. I went to the kitchen and put on a kettle of tea before I went back to Max. He hadn't moved from the hallway.

"Hi." I said gently.

He looked at me and smiled weakly.

"Hey."

I took a hold of his hand, "Are you okay?"

He looked at our hands and then at me.

"My dad passed away."

"I'm sorry," I said and meant it.

He sat down on the floor and pulled me down with him.

"Don't be. He was an asshole."

I was taken aback with the intensity of his statement.

"I hated the guy for how he treated my mom when she was alive, but he was still my dad."

"When did this happen?" I asked.

"Little over a week ago. I've been busy settling all his affairs."

"Do you have any other family?"

"No. I was there for the service and noticed that the only people there were friends and acquaintances. It was very odd realising that I had no family left in this world."

Maybe because he looked so vulnerable or maybe because I couldn't fathom a world where a person is all alone or maybe just because I had wanted to do this to Max since I first saw him that evening but for reasons I couldn't exactly say I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him to me. I stroked his cheek as he lay huddled against me.

Max looked up at me, for a second I thought I saw a wounded look in his eyes but then he quickly averted his gaze. I told myself that I had imagined the look.

"Come on," I said while smiling at him. "Let's have some nice and warm tea and then climb into bed."

I went to the kitchen and put the kettle on before heading to the bedroom. Max had taken off his shoes and socks and was working on unbuttoning his shirt.

"I'll just shower and be back in a jiffy," I said running into the bathroom.

I had just finished soaping myself when I heard the door of the shower stall being opened. Max stood behind me.

"I only came to give you a hand that's all."He said quietly and proceeded to wash me. His hands on my bare skin felt even better than the warm water. I turned towards him and closed my eyes as he ran his hands gently over my breasts, my belly and then slowly down my thighs all the way down to my ankles.

I moaned softly at his gentle caresses as he watched me, observing everything about me. I had thought for sure that this was foreplay but all he ended up doing was giving me a hand just like he said. He helped me wash off and then rubbed me down with one of the large and fluffy towels. Then he wrapped a towel round his waist and draped another around my body before carrying me off to my bed. He went to the kitchen and returned with two cups of mint tea. He handed me a cup while sipping on his own cup.

This wasn't the way I had imagined spending my night when I got the call from Max, but I couldn't help but admit that it felt nice. I moved closer to him and snuggled into his side. In turn he too leaned in against me. I felt warm and safe and soon enough, overcome with sleep.

"I've missed you," I whispered, before I fell asleep.

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The next morning I awoke to find Max bustling away in the kitchen as usual. The whole apartment smelled wonderful, thanks to the aroma rising from whatever it was that Max was preparing. I remembered what a disaster zone my kitchen had looked that first time; perhaps he was right and the fault really lay in the way my kitchen was organised.

"Morning!" he approached me and planted a kiss on my lips- a really chaste kiss in comparison to all the kisses I had received from him till now.

I thought about last night again and noted how odd it was that Max had for the first time spent a night with me without either of us doing anything sexual in nature and yet we both seemed to be okay with it.

I took the plate that Max had fixed for me and headed to the table. We ate our food in silence, but it wasn't awkward, rather comfortable. He appeared to be reading the sports and business sections of the paper while I scanned a few news blurbs on my phone.

When we finished we placed our plates in the sink and tidied my apartment. It all felt so easy and normal and strange because of how naturally we both seemed to fall in step with each other. We're not in a relationship, I had to remind myself.

"You know I called you a few times and even texted you once." I don't know why I chose to break the tranquillity with that statement.

Max appeared to visibly tense up at my statement, "I know."

"You didn't return my calls or my message." I looked at him curiously. I thought I saw the same hurt look I'd seen the previous night. He appeared to consider his response before he finally spoke.

"I wasn't planning to."

"Because of what happened to your dad?"

"No."

I could tell from his responses that this was something he wasn't comfortable talking about. At the same time his responses were making me even more curious to learn about the motivation for his actions or rather inaction in this case.

You're making this more complicated than it needs to be.

The annoying voice sounded just like Kylie this time, which may be why I chose not to automatically ignore it. I decided to drop my line of questioning. I needed to stop trying to understand Max and his motivations. I needed to stop acting like this was anything other than what it was.

"Okay." I said to him and went back to what I was doing. If he was surprised at me dropping the topic so suddenly, I didn't notice it.