Confession Ch. 01

I suppose it began the night my father died. He died suddenly from a heart attack, one moment a healthy vigorous man the next graying flesh sitting on the toilet. Rather undignified, but I have since learned not uncommon. I was asleep at the time, my parents carousing rather late in the evening before returning home. My first inkling that something was amiss was hearing my mother cry. I wondered if it had been a fight, but then dismissed that thought, because although rare when they did fight, my mother gave as good as she got. I got up to find out what was going on and to give my father hell if he had hurt her some way. He had, but not in any way that I had imagined.

There was a stranger standing in the living room and through her tears mom introduced me to my dad's doctor. I can't remember his name and I am unsure if I ever did know it, because through the open door of the bathroom I could see my father, in the light blue pajamas he always wore, unmoving. I knew instinctively he was dead and my own tears fell unhindered as I took my mother in my arms and yet ended up crying on her shoulder. I don't know who comforted who, and let me assure you there was not much comfort to be had that night. The police arrived shortly thereafter, much to my surprise, and guarded my father's body until morning when the hearse arrived to take him away to autopsy. Such are the joys of sudden death, not only the shock of loss but also the indignity of strangers throughout the house denying access to the one you have loved and lost. The next few days were a blur folding into each other as mother and I dealt with the loss. The one thing I do remember is that I held my mother in my arms as often as I could, or maybe it was she held me in hers, anyways, we bonded into a deeper love of each other, if that were possible. No, there was not anything sexual about it!

A few weeks went by and we tried to fall back into a normal routine. I returned to school, trying to pick up where I had left off. Mother cleaned the house, cooked meals, and generally looked after me as she had before. Money was not a concern for my father had been a prudent man and financially we were well looked after. To the eye of the casual onlooker I am sure, we appeared to be functioning normally. Mother even returned to working at the hospital as a casual nurse, picking up one or two shifts a week. Life went on. But I knew better, the sobs that could be heard from behind my mother's bedroom door hurt me terribly. Being young, I just didn't know what I should do. Finally, one night in desperation I grabbed a box of Kleenex off the kitchen counter and walked into her bedroom unannounced. I took her in my arms and futilely tried to dry her cheeks. That didn't help so I lay there with her as she sobbed, trying to comfort her. When her sobs diminished, I realized she had fallen asleep. Not wishing to disturb her, I also fell asleep beside her. It became a nightly ritual, she sobbing, my holding her, falling asleep together. As time passed the sobs stopped, but my nightly visits didn't. Mom seemed more relaxed when she was within my arms.

I suppose that this would be as good a time as any to describe my Mom. About five foot five, middle thirties, unexercised body, the beginnings of middle age sag, overall she was not a very attractive woman. Her breasts sagged, her bottom too large, her thighs thick, but she was my Mom and I loved her, and better yet, she loved me. I had often wondered what my father had seen in her being a handsome man himself, and I noticed more than once how a good-looking lady's eye would follow him. But he never showed interest in another woman that I was ever aware of. Fortunately, for me, I had inherited my father's good looks, although I was shy and retiring with the fairer sex. Of course, I was eighteen when my father died.

The nights of cuddling continued until one night, as I guess could be expected, the teenage hormones, which raged through my body, got the better of me. With a hand that shook from fear, excitement and lust I cuddled a soft warm boob as she slept. My body responded to the sensation with an instant hard-on, which pressed against her backside. I thought I could get away with the excuse it had been an accident if she awoke, and I held her most of the night feeling her nipple react to my soft caress. I thought I heard her breathing change to a deeper more uneven rhythm but fell asleep myself still holding her softness in my hand. When I awoke the following morning, she was preparing breakfast and nothing was said so I assumed I had gotten away with it. Instead of paying attention in school, I daydreamed of the pillowy softness I had held in my hand the night before.

Needless to say I waited anxiously for her to fall asleep as we snuggled the following night and when her breathing settled I again reached for the wonderful female flesh. Cuddling her breast in my hand filled me with lust for my mother as a woman and soon I began to think of other things I might do. She was wearing a nightshirt that buttoned up the front and so with great care I began unbuttoning to hear a sudden change in her breathing. It became deeper more rapid. I froze and when she didn't move I continued my slow unbuttoning until I was at her waist line. I carefully pulled the shirt to one side and once again took the soft boob in my hand feeling immediately the turgidity of her nipple. One of my fingers circled around it before two fingers rolled it gently between them. I noticed she seemed to be almost panting in her sleep. I thought myself clever in my ministrations forgetting all about any excuse I might have if she awoke. Finally, through sheer exhaustion from two nights of little sleep, I too fell asleep still holding her naked breast. The following morning I awoke with a start to find her gone from the bed. I immediately remembered the unbuttoned nightshirt and the way I had left her as I fell asleep. I lay in the bed for a few moments wondering what I should do until I realized there was nothing to do but face the music. When I entered the kitchen, she simply gave me her morning greeting and smile. Nothing was said.

At college, I realized I had been lucky and firmly resolved not to molest my mother again. I noticed mother was wearing something different when we went to bed that night. The nightshirt was shorter and held together by two ribbon- like ties. However, my resolve was clear and with hormones held in check, and two rather sleepless nights behind me; I simply put my arms around her as she spooned against me. I started to drift off to sleep, when my mother with a shift of her shoulders changed position in her sleep, and a naked soft warm boob fell into my hand. Somehow, inadvertently, my mother's shirt had become completely undone. She sighed heavily, but seemed to continue to sleep, but now my hormones ragged, my blood seemed to race hot through my body. I shivered all over.

I was still trembling when I slid my shaky hand down over her soft belly, under her the elastic wasteband of her panties, until my fingers were deeply entwined with the silky tresses they had discovered. My penis was hard against her bottom and with a fugitive movement; I rubbed myself against her large warm buttocks. Suddenly she moved again rolling into me as she moved onto her back. My hand was forced between her now slightly parted thighs and for the first time I felt the wondrous wet, the incredible softness and the heat that seemed to be a few degrees warmer than the rest of her body. I trembled, not knowing what to do, thinking she must be dreaming of my dad, when her hand came down over the crotch of her panties holding mine in place.

My fear peaked, I don't know what my emotions were when she began to speak, "It's okay son, just rub me gently. She rolled towards me a little more, taking my head in an encompassing arm and pulled my face into her bosom. "Suck my titties honey, it makes my pussy feel good," she cooed and with the hand that covered mine began a back and forth motion between her legs. I took a nipple into my mouth and began to suck occasionally rolling it around with my tongue; my hand took up the motion she had instigated with hers. "One moment honey," she said as she released my head and moved slightly away from me, "keep your hand there." She brought her knees up and slid her panties over her large round bottom and up her thighs to her knees. Then bringing her knees even further up slid the panties down her legs and off, throwing them casually from the bed.

Her legs returned to their former position although I was certain that her thighs now gave me even greater access to her astonishing wetness. My hand continued the motion she had imbued. Her arm once again encircled my head, her hand in my hair drawing me to her pendulous tits. Her nipples were long and fat and she told me later aching with desire. I inhaled a nipple trying to give her pleasure, running on instinct having had no practical experience. After a little while she pulled the nipple from my mouth and with her other hand presented her other nipple for my attention. With that accomplished her hand returned over mine and with her index finger she pushed mine deep within her. What an astonishing wonderful feeling of softness, warmth, and wet. When I changed the angle of my hand to create greater penetration she said, "No dear, when you do that you're not rubbing against my clit." She again used her hand to guide mine, while I thought,

'Clit, what's a clit and where is it, what's it do and how do I help?' Then I realized she had given me a wonderful opening and I asked, "Mother will you teach me how to make love to you like a man loves a woman?"

She lay there for a few minutes, breathing heavily, obviously enjoying my feeble attempts to make love to her. Then replied, "Wait here a moment, there are some things I want to get." She left the bed, I could barely see her large bum flex as she left the room. It was then with a certain amount of trepidation, I took my pajamas off. In a moment, she was back and I realized she was carrying the two large candles that were always on the dinning-room table. She placed one on the night table to her side of the bed, lit it, and then rounding the bed placed the second on my night table. As soon as it was lit to her satisfaction, I was now able to see her large sagging breasts. They were beautiful to my eyes in the flickering glow of the candle light. She returned to the bed but to my surprise lay with her head to the foot of the bed. She asked me to pass her pillows. I passed her two, then a third as she adjusted her self so she could look down her body and see, what I understand now to be an extremely hairy muff. Once satisfied she spread her legs and asked me to get between them. When I knelt between them, I saw fully exposed for the first time a woman's cunt, lit by the flickering golden glow of soft candle light. It was an erotic sight, the glistening of her preparatory moisture on thighs and lips further enhanced the poignancy of the moment. She slid her hands over her belly and with a finger on either side, covering her hairiness, spread her labia wide showing me her rose petal pink interior.

A sudden whiff of scent pervaded me. Strong, intoxicating, compelling, I leaned forward trying to inhale more of the brain-numbing odor. Suddenly I wanted to kiss the source of that tantalizing smell emanating from her gash. But I hesitated fearful she would find me gross lapping at her sex. What if I didn't like the taste? How could I retreat with out insulting her? These fears froze me and she began to talk not as a lover but with more of a mother/ teacher tone of voice. She allowed her labia to close and pointed with each finger to the creases formed where her legs joined her torso. She explained how ticklish she was there, how it was a sexual kind of ticklishness, which would make her stomach and pussy quiver. Mom moved on to her anus explaining how she liked to be gently rubbed there and in the throws of passion penetrated slightly with a finger. She showed me her perineum, the soft hair covered skin between her pussy and her anus explaining when to touch her there. Perineum, I had never heard the word before. She drew my attention to the plump folds of her outer labia covered in her soft pubic hair telling me how much she liked having the area gently massaged to build her sexual tension. Once again she used her fingers to pull her outer labia apart exposing the inner darker pinky brown raggedy flaps that still hid her inner sanctum. She told me how much she loved to have them fondled and titillated, licked and sucked, allaying my first fear that she would be grossed out if I kissed her there. Finally, she pulled apart her sexy flaps to show her rosy pink interior once again. She pointed out her urethra dispelling my naive conception that some how her vagina was involved in elimination.

"Now for the very best part" she said, where upon her fingers went to the top of her labia and pulled apart the area that stuck out were they came together. There amongst the hair and fleshy flap lay a little pearl of exquisite daintiness, a tiny knob of moisture-covered flesh that she announced with pride was her clitoris. This she declared was her source of pleasure always to be licked, touched, and stimulated any way imaginable as long as love came with the stimulation. I remember her emphasizing the word love. Her final act was to slip her finger deep within her virginal sheath, withdraw it glistening with moisture in the soft candle light, and slip it into her mouth. It shocked me and yet answered another question as to whether or not I might be able to enjoy her exudate.

"Kiss me honey," she said and I moved up her body to give her a soft gentle kiss. Her mouth opened beneath mine so I emulated her and her soft wondrous tongue filled my mouth with just a hint of the flavor of her exudate lingering. More boldly my hand returned between her thighs, my index finger found her anus and rubbed it gently before dragging over my new found word and entering the sticky wetness that I was so curious about. Careful to include her clit I began the back and forth motion that would bring sexual satisfaction. Her pubes pushed against my finger one now deep in her sheath while the others massaged her outer puffiness. I was always mindful to maintain friction on her clit. She broke our kiss, her breathing heavy, and pulled my head to her tits. I latched onto the nearest nipple and suckled like a child. Her moans of appreciation encouraged me. She began to pant. I asked her to lift her ass and I slid my other hand beneath her, forefinger finding her anus as she settled back on the flat of my hand. Now with one finger stimulating her ass and another, her clit, her moans changed to a guttural growl whose pitch increased with her sexual tensity. With each stroke of finger she became more vocal until with a climatic shudder she shivered out her orgasm, her throat raw with sound.

"I'm sorry dear, I should've warned you, I'm very noisy when I'm enjoying a good cum." She smiled at me and made a motion as if to pull her nipple from my mouth. Not wanting to let go I shook my head negatively and mmmmmmmed my appreciation of her tender flesh as I scooted forward reestablishing my mouth around her nipple, until I was firmly attached to her tit.

"You haven't changed a bit" she announced, "you were just the same when you were a baby." She told me how, as a baby I had continued to play with her nipple long after I was finished feeding. If she began to pull away, I apparently would begin to suckle again as though I wanted to feed. As soon as I was confident she wasn't going to take my comfort away from me I would go back to playing only to repeat the process if she moved.

"You latched on hard when you suckled on my teat and sent such delicious sensations to my pussy I enjoyed feeding you. After awhile I began to touch myself down there while you fed. Until finally, one night, while you suckled for your nourishment I slipped a finger over my clit and stimulated it to orgasm. After that, it was easy to do again and again and I began to wear a robe when I fed you so that we both had easy access to our satisfaction. Your father caught on and once while I was feeding you, he pulled my bum to the edge of the chair, sat and sucked on my clit while you sucked on my tit. It was the most loving erotic experience of my life. I felt as though I was giving nourishment to the two people I loved most in life, as the two of you drank my body's fluids. I think you were both surprised at how much noise I was making when I came. I wouldn't let him do it again because I was unsure of how I felt about involving you in our sexual union. I have often regretted my decision, after all just how did you come about in the first place. However, he accepted my decision. I think he kind of agreed with me.

But from that time on, he took an interest in my lactating teats sucking them dry every night after you were finished. I was soon producing huge amounts of milk my tits distended with fluid becoming extremely sensitive just before I'd feed you. Often aching in need of being emptied. I woouldn't let him touch me until you had your turn. One night my teats dripping, needing to be emptied he told me he'd show me away to take my mind off my teats. He lay on his back his dick rampant and invited me to mount him. I knew he had chosen that position because he didn't want to press against my breasts, possibly causing me further distress. I mounted him and soon felt an orgasm coming on, my tits dripping on his chest. With the first orgasmic seizure, I squirted milk all over him with tinier squirts following as my seizures diminished. I burst into giggles causing further drippings. He loved it and we repeated that loving many times. But enough of reminiscing, I did love your father so, I think you need some satisfaction"

Pulling her teat forcefully from my mouth she slid down my body and engulfed my cock in her warm wet mouth. Soon I could feel her saliva sliding down my dick and she used her hand to rub it into my shaft. Her cheeks hollowed as she sucked strongly. It was terrific, bringing about my orgasmic spew in a matter of moments. She then kissed me again tasting strongly of my virginal spend. I was reminded how much I liked her own sexual stink and this time reached between her thighs, while we continued to kiss, to probe her deeply with two fingers. I bent them slightly, tried to scoop out her moisture, and then, breaking the kiss, brought them to my nose. If anything, the strong pungent scent was more wondrous than my first experience. My head dizzy with lust I sucked them into my mouth and found to my joy, I loved the taste. Although certainly answering the promise the heady scent suggested, I found the flavor milder, sweeter, possibly more delicate, although I hesitate to use the word delicate because the taste was even more compelling, intoxicating, and addictive than the scent. Mom pulled my fingers from my mouth and replaced them with her tongue. It swirled through my mouth and I realized it was searching for a taste of her sweet self.

I broke the kiss wanting to go to the source of her ambrosia. Kissing my way down between her floppy tits over her rounded belly and through the forest of pubic hair, I soon found the genesis of what was to become my life long addiction. First I inhaled deeply filling my nostrils with her redolence, savoring her fragrance, anticipating her flavor. Then I slid my tongue through her raggedy flesh and tasted her elixir straight from the fountain of its making. Overwhelming lust pervaded me, my mind befuddled with need, while I sought a comfortable position. First by trying to lay between her legs, then pushing her legs up high. She helped by holding her thighs against her tits, exposing herself as completely as she could. I licked her perineum, and then in my lust stabbed her in her asshole with my tongue eliciting a squeal of delight. I sucked heavily on her raggedy labia and finally still unsatisfied I jumped from the bed and dragged her bum to the edge. As I knelt on the floor, I beheld the source of my delight once more in the flickering soft candle light. Little shadows jumping, droplets of moisture sparkled in the light. I brought her legs over my shoulders, her inner thighs warming my ears, as I slid my tongue deep into the warm embrace of her sexy folds. Her honey, coated my tongue with her pungent flavor. Her body began the age old hump of love bruising my lips with the force of her desire. Her moans of delight enflamed my own passions as I drove deep seeking all of her juice. Soon her hips were thrashing so hard I just kept my tongue flat. She pulled my head hard against her cunt holding me in place as she kneaded her clit against my nose and tongue. Her moans turned to a guttural, raspy, scream deep in her throat as she shuddered out her orgasmic seizures, smearing my tongue with her delicious cum.