Confessions of a Mailgirl Ch. 17

The more I heard about Hiromoto the more it reaffirmed my original opinion after watching him whip Mariko: the man is a misogynistic asshole. It was obvious that his original intent for his Mailgirls program was simply to humiliate and debase women for his own pleasure. It was probably only later that he figured out he could also use mailgirls as spies.

I was almost starting to feel sorry for Barbara after hearing all of this. "Mariko, I don't know that I actually want to see Hiromoto destroy Barbara or anything like that. Is there another way?"

Mariko shook her head. "That is the only way out. You may delay that day if you desire, Danica. You can keep playing the game as long as you wish knowing that you can get out whenever you choose."

I thought about this and once again I felt the bizarre allure of this life tightening around my will like an invisible bond. I couldn't deny that playing the role of Barbara's slave for awhile still held a perverse appeal to me. If I knew I had a way out why not keep playing her game for awhile? Now that she was taking it to an even deeper level than ever before it would be exciting to experience that for at least a little while, wouldn't it?

Fortunately I was able to put a halt to these thoughts before I got sucked too deeply back into Barbara's destructive vortex. No, Danica, you can't do this again, I told myself. Every time you've been given a set of options you've always chosen the path that leads deeper into Barbara's trap. Stop it! You can't trust Hiromoto to keep up his bargain forever. And he is a very old man so what happens if he dies or has a stroke?

It had taken me two years but I'd finally learned my lesson. I knew what I had to do.

"I want out now, Mariko," I said to her. "Burn Barbara to the ground if you have to."

FRIDAY

I glanced nervously at the clock on the wall as I stood naked in Tom Condell's office waiting to be released after delivering a packet to him. It was 4:27 pm and I hadn't heard anything from Mariko since our meeting on Wednesday. I'd thought everything would be resolved by today but now I realized she'd only said that Hiromoto would get me out after DDE had signed the new contract. I'd assumed that would happen immediately but now I knew it could have meant tomorrow or next week or next month or next year. Or had something gone wrong with the negotiations? What would happen if they fell through?

"I bet you think you're hot shit don't you?" I glanced up and saw Condell's eyes roaming up and down my body.

"Sir?"

"Mailgirl Fucking Nine. Everyone knows who you are and you're going to be the star of your own game so you think you're hot shit, don't you?"

"No sir." Condell was a greasy asshole and I always hated coming to his office.

"You are a fine piece of ass, I'll give you that," Condell sneered. "But that's all you are. They can make all the games and movies they want about mailgirls but you'll still just be naked eye candy for us real employees."

"Yes sir," I replied, my head bowed slightly and my gaze submissively directed toward the floor. There was a time when these types of condescending insults would have upset me but they no longer did. It's not just that I'd gotten used to them, but I'd spent two years attempting to emulate Mariko's preternatural grace and humility. Although I'd made great strides, seeing her the other day reminded me of how far I had yet to go. I would not allow the likes of Condell to make me lose my composure, I told myself. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

"Stupid bitch," Condell muttered after failing to get a reaction from me. "I'm done with you. Get out."

"Thank you sir."

I exited Condell's office into a sea of cubicles. I was surrounded by fully clothed norms all doing whatever it was that they did in that little world they inhabited. I'd once been one of them, sitting in my cubicle, striving to one day have my own office in the tower. It all seemed so banal now, that life. Whatever came next, assuming Hiromoto kept his promise, I knew I didn't want to return to it. Not in that way anyway, slaving to move from one cage to a larger, more gilded cage. I wanted now to live on the edges, not in the grey world in between. I longed to either surrender myself and become a slave to a powerful person or to become that powerful person myself. Barbara called these desires my dual natures and I wrestled with both of them, allowing neither to take complete control. So far.

Since I had no current instructions I found the Mailgirls mat and knelt on it. It was located in a spot to provide maximum exposure and I felt the eyes poring over my body. Even now, after all this time, that still gave me a thrill. Even now, I felt myself becoming wet and longed to reach between my legs and give them all a real show.

I thought about Barbara and Hiromoto. As corrupt and manipulative as they were I couldn't help but feel some degree of admiration for their ability to move through this world as predators rather than prey. What would it be like, I wondered, to be the hunter rather than the hunted? To swim through dangerous waters as the shark rather than the meal? Would it be possible to live such a life without without being corrupt and manipulative or were those essential qualities required to survive amongst other predators?

Mariko had assured me that Hiromoto would make quick work of Barbara when the time came, but I wasn't so sure of it. She was not one to be underestimated even against someone like Hiromoto. Perhaps she was anticipating what was coming her way and had a counter for it. In a way I hoped she did, even if that wasn't in my best interests. Despite everything she had done I still had feelings for her that I didn't have for Hiromoto. When those two alphas entered the cage together I wasn't entirely sure which one I wanted to emerge from it.

My thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of the MMU on my arm and my heart raced when I saw the destination. I leapt to my feet and moved quickly down corridors, through doorways, and up stairs until I reached it. I opened the door and entered Conference Room 1A on the tenth floor of the tower. I immediately saw Kelly there kneeling naked on the floor. She glanced up at me nervously, unsure about what was going on. I hadn't told her or anyone else about my meeting with Mariko. She had warned me not to.

Seated around the table were Dan Evans, the CEO of DumpsterDawg Enterprises, several company lawyers, Mariko, and a Japanese man I assumed was the Hiromoto lawyer. And, of course, Barbara was there.

She glanced at me and gestured to the floor with her head. "Kneel," she commanded. I took my place on the floor next to Kelly.

Mariko smiled at me and began to speak. "I have requested that the two of you, as the original mailgirls, be present at the signing of the new contract between our two companies. Mr. Evans has graciously accepted this request."

"Thank you, sir. Thank you, ma'am." I reached over and took hold of Kelly's hand.

The pieces were all in place. The endgame was about to begin.