Confessions of an Addict Ch. 01: Beginning

I couldn't sleep, I lay in bed thinking of how they made fun of me, how they shunned me, all because I have never masturbated before! I mean I didn't see what the big deal was it's not like I need it to live? My cheeks burned as I relived the embarrassing situation in the locker room after our track meet.

"What do you mean you have never done it? Like never? How do you live girl?" Harley ridiculed "what are you some kind of prude?"

"I mean I do it at least once a day, sometimes twice!" Kelly chimed in laughing at my now beet red face.

"No wonder we never see you with a guy, at least we know it's not because she's a lesbo!" Harley erupted sending the other girls into a frenzy of insults.

Forget them I thought to myself I'm not a lesbo or a prude I could masturbate if I wanted to I just don't want to. I knew I was more of convincing myself then actually meaning the words I was so desperately trying to believe but the truth was I had lived 18 years and don't even know how to touch myself.

I sat up in bed determined to prove them wrong I was going to touch myself but first I needed to learn how. I got up and turned on my computer hoping the sounds would not wake up my parents, the last thing I needed was to get caught looking up porn and be berated with scripture after scripture and prayer to banish an unseen devil. I sat with the internet open hesitating, unsure of what to look up I slowly typed out the only reasonable thing I could imagine "how do girls masturbate?" Of course I was subjected to a ton of links all seeming more explicit than the one before it. I could feel my heart racing everything about this seemed wrong but yet I pressed on selecting a promising video.

The video loaded and showed a woman sitting in a chair and the camera showing everything but her head. I had seen a few of the girls naked in the locker room before but never like this, she was completely exposed for the camera. She typed something on her computer and began to touch herself, first her breast slowly pinching her nipples and moaning making sure to squeeze and rub her nipples between her fingers. I felt flush watching this like I was intruding on her personal life, here she was moving one hand down to her bare vagina and I am the one embarrassed. I paused the video and took a deep breath in an attempt to psyche myself up and take a moment to check for noise in the house.

Looking back at the screen I decided I would mimic this woman to see what sort of result I could get and began to disrobe. Her breasts were bigger than my b cups and she was a blonde and I a brunette but otherwise our bodies seemed similar and you could tell she worked out a bit her stomach was very much a telltale sign of gym dedication, what am I doing who cares if she goes to the gym finish this already! I pressed play once more and she slid her hand slowly down to her crotch and paused just to take her hands off of herself and type again, I found myself wondering who she was talking to while I began to mimic the first part of her video.

I took my own breasts into my hands and closed my eyes and let my hands explore myself. It was an intense feeling a freeing feeling was the only way I could describe my nipples getting hard in my hands. It was amazing how my body reacted instantly to my soft touches and I knew I was getting turned on. She stopped typing and I looked back at the screen my hands still fondling my own body while she pulled a vibrator from some unforeseen place off camera and leaned in slightly to show her mouth as she sucked it. I was so obscene but yet so erotic the way she slowly pushed it into her mouth and twisted it coating it in her saliva. She did this for a while my hand slowly trailed down to my now soaked crotch She pulled the vibrator out of her mouth and began to rub her slit up and down and I slowly began to touch my own. I was instantly filled with shame and embarrassment and paused the video once more in frustration. I can't believe I am doing this and for what to impress those jerk girls that aren't even my friends? I closed the page and shut off my computer and got back in bed still naked wallowing in defeat, I couldn't do it.

Once again I stared at the ceiling unable to sleep while my body screamed at me for contact, the feeling of the comforter rubbing against my hard nipples kept me aroused and with every breath the friction pushed the thoughts of shame further and further back in my mind. I have to do this I have gone too far I convinced myself and slowly let my hand trace a path between my breasts to my belly button and finally to my clit. The instant I touched it I knew I would not stop again the amount of pleasure derived from just a small amount of pressure was astronomical. I decided to stop listening to my brain and let my body guide me and began to slowly run circles around my aroused and protruding clit. I was slow and timid just enjoying the new sensations coming over me while I explored myself, learning my body and what I liked taking it one step at a time.

My right hand coated in my own arousal pinched my clit softly and let go then ran a circle around my clit and slowly slipped down my slit and slightly penetrated my hole. I repeated this process getting into a rhythm increasing the pressure and penetration every few cycles. My left hand massaged my breasts and pinched my nipples, I learned very quickly that I enjoyed my nipples pinched and pulled slightly. Pinch, around, down, in, out, up, again, my breath got deeper as I concentrated on this pattern over and over getting more comfortable with my newly found limits. I added another digit to my penetration as well as a deeper push causing me to inhale deeply and let out a high pitched moan. Pinch, around, down, two in, deeper, out, up, again I had begun to get a bit faster as I could feel what had to be an orgasm building inside of me. .

Pinch, around, down, two in, deeper, out, back in, I began to push the limits of my reach going as deep as I could while moaning out forcing myself to direct my mouth to my pillow to muffle the sounds of my pleasure. I bit my lip as I pushed my fingers in as far as they would go while pulling on my nipple hard I wanted to scream out as I began to reach my peak. The wave hit me like a ton of bricks, my pussy clenched my fingers, and my mouth opened wide making no noise while my mind screamed. I gripped the sheets as I began to convulse slightly moaning incoherent praises while I rode my first orgasm into bliss. I began to come down slowly trying to catch my breath, the sensation of pulling my own fingers out of myself sent little mini convulsions through my abdomen. That...That was amazing. I lay there basking in my post orgasmic glow knowing I truly was missing something in my life until this moment. I understood what the girls meant, If I didn't do that again I would surely die.

This was the start of a girl who would soon become an addict, a desperate fiend, a slut, although I did not yet know it.