Consequences - Ellen

This is the third in this series.

For those of you who wanted to see a conclusion toConsequences – Erin, one is in the works.

Thanks to Angel Love for her editing and her suggestions. Any mistakes that you find are mine since I can't leave anything alone.

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My name is Spencer Christian and I am a 48-year-old construction engineer. I'm the guy that sets up and controls the construction of large projects. My area was the north-central region which includes Ohio, Michigan, Illinois and Indiana and one of those projects was the new 40 story tower that stands on the shores of Lake Erie. I brought it in on time and under budget. I was just about to enter the inner sanctum of our board of directors in our headquarters in downtown Cleveland for a meeting with my boss and some of the board members. I assumed I was in line for a nice fat bonus.

My wife Ellen and I live in one of the suburbs of Cleveland and we have been married for 23 years. During that time we raised two wonderful kids, Mary and Martin. Both were now in college, Mary leaving this past September, and we were alone for the first time in 21 years. Ellen was a stay at home mom and she had done a great job of raising our kids and making a wonderful home for us all. I loved her beyond thought and always had. But things were not really good between us just now. Ellen had become bitchy and biting over the past year and it was made worse by the fact that I had several other projects and the time they were demanding from me was excessive. I knew this but I also knew that there was the possibility of something special if I could just hold on for a year or two more. If it came through, Ellen and I would be fine. This was on my mind as I entered the board room for my bonus.

John Wilson, the President of our company, was already there waiting and introduced me to two of the other board members, neither one of which I remember just now. I assumed that he had been in a meeting and invited the two members to meet me and look on as I received the praise for a job well done and the presentation of a nice fat check. I was a little surprised to not find Hugh Preston, my boss present, but I took the seat offered and waited for the congratulations and the expected bonus. Instead I got a shock.

"Spencer, my boy. Congratulations on a job well done. You pulled it off when everyone expected you to come in late and over, but you did just the opposite. Great job. As a reward for all of your good work, we want to make you an offer. We want you to take over the operations in Atlanta. You know Mark Todd is retiring in three months? He has several new projects just coming on stream and he doesn't want to stay as long as it would take to complete them. He wants to leave now and we want you to replace him as Managing Director of Operations for the South. It's a major promotion and will mean a lot more money and perks for you and Ellen as well as putting you directly under me and no one else. What do you say?"

I was speechless. What an offer! This would be a major move for me and would put me in charge of the biggest single operation in this company. It was just a move away from the top job. Hell, it was a precursor to John Wilson's job. How could I refuse? I finally regained my composure and told John and the others there that I would accept the position and would do the job for them and all of the stuff you normally say when something big like this happens. I was still a little unfocused but I did remember to tell John that I wanted to clear it with Ellen before he said anything. He agreed with a big laugh and said he would give me a month to attend to details before he would announce it. We spent some more time together but I was finally able to leave. I told my secretary I was taking the rest of the day off and I drove home to tell Ellen the news.

As I pulled into my driveway, I was thinking of how to spring it on Ellen. I knew she would love the idea of Atlanta since she wasn't all that fond of the Cleveland winters. She often talked of moving to somewhere warm when I retired. I walked into the house and found her in the kitchen as usual. Ellen was a great cook and loved to try new things. I smelled something wonderful.

"Well, aren't you home early? Did you talk to Mr. Wilson about your bonus? How much was it? How much did they screw you out of this time after saving them a bunch of money. Did they give you a nice little check to keep you satisfied? Make it sound like a big deal?"

I should have expected that. Bitchy as usual! When I left that morning, we had just finished a big fight over money. Not that we had money problems but Ellen felt that I was never paid enough for the amount of time and effort I gave them. She was probably right but I was happy doing what I was doing and I made a good living. I hoped for better of course and now I had it. But for some reason, her tantrum just made me mad and I decided that I wasn't going to tell her about the promotion just yet. Let her dig herself into a hole and watch her try to climb out when I tell her the good news. But not yet!

"He didn't mention a bonus. I just met John and a couple of the board members. They congratulated me but we didn't talk bonus. Maybe they'll get to it later."

Well, Ellen blew up at me and twenty minutes later I had enough. I still kept my mouth shut about the promotion but I did let my anger have its outlet. I interrupted one of Ellen's harangues long enough to hit back.

"Things aren't as bad as you seem to think. I know he has some other options open for me. I do a hell of a job for them and they know it. I could probably ask for something else, maybe a move to a new part of the country. We have some choices now and I think we should talk about some of them"

"What choices? You're just trying to avoid the truth. They take advantage of you and you just let them. You have no guts. You make me sick the way you let them push you around."

She was really angry and now she was giving vent to some of her frustrations. Her next comments were a total surprise.

"I think you and I need a separation. We need some time away from each other or I'm afraid we're not going to survive as a couple. Our marriage is in trouble and I can't seem to find any way to make things better. You don't seem to care that we're going nowhere and I want better. Things have to change."

If she expected a fight from me over this proposal, it wasn't going to happen. I was so angry with her right then and I realized that this was becoming almost normal for us. I just stopped talking and began to consider it. Fine, I would give her what she wanted and let her see what it would be like. I needed the time anyway to get things ready for the transfer to Atlanta. Let her stew in her own juices for a while. I would enjoy the time apart from the vindictive, mean shrew she had become.

"I think that might be a good idea. Right now we do nothing but fight and there's no reason for most of it. Nothing I do makes you happy and all you do any more is bitch at me, so OK, let's do it."

"OK, smart guy. What would we have to do to have a real separation? Would we go to court or would we just separate on our own for a certain amount of time?"

"We could just separate. I'll live at the club and you stay here. The company membership will pay for most of it. We need to set some ground rules to play by but otherwise, we would just live apart for a month or so. I don't think we need to go to court unless you want to consider a divorce. Do you? Is that what this is leading up to?"

"Spencer! Of course not. I would never want a divorce. I still love you and I want to be your wife but right now, that's hard to do. I don't think it's all my fault but I don't know what to do to fix it. Maybe some time apart will give both of us some time to think about things."

"OK. I'll call the club right now and see when I can get a room. Once I have the room, I'll move out and we can set a time limit of one month. After that, we'll talk and decide what to do next. How does that sound?"

"That sounds about right. It will take a month just to learn to be alone again. That might be hard for me since I have never had to be alone since we got married. It's always been the kids or you and I. Rarely alone. For either of us. I can't even think of what it would be like."

"Well, you'll have the time to learn. But with your church duties, your club chairmanship and your exercise classes at the Y, I don't think you're ever going to be alone. But, I won't be there and apparently that's what you want."

"I don't want to be without you. Never. Please believe that. I do love you and I would never want to lose you but right now things are bad between us. We have to do this to try to find a way to get back to where we were. I believe that."

"You believe whatever you want but it's clear to me that you have a problem being with me. I don't think you want to be alone. You just want me gone. But it's your decision and I won't fight you."

"As usual, you're putting words in my mouth and trying to start an argument. That's all we do anyway: argue! I think you want this as much as I do."

I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. This didn't seem right to me even though I agreed to it. It sounded good at the time because I was angry and I wanted her gone from my sight. But as this was becoming a reality, I had a bad feeling that it may never be otherwise. But since I had agreed, I called the club and asked about a room. They had one coming available three days from now and I booked it for a month, beginning then. They reserved it on my credit card so I was set. I went back into the kitchen to tell Ellen. She was actually becoming excited about the whole thing which didn't make me feel any better despite her protestations of love.

I told her that I would begin packing that evening so that I could get my stuff in some sort of order. I was used to having my clothes dry cleaned since Ellen hated doing laundry, and anyway, I liked the way the cleaners left my pants and shirts. Better than Ellen could do. The laundry I could do at the club either myself or with one of the valets. Either way, I was set for clothes.

Things were rather quiet for the next two days as I packed and Ellen made plans of her own for meetings and other things on her busy schedule. She seemed happier already, knowing that I would be gone soon. I moved into the spare bedroom that first night and we avoided each other as much as possible, each with our own thoughts. I let my final preparations go until the evening before I was to move into the room at the club. I told Ellen that we had to discuss the ground rules of our separation. She agreed and we adjourned to the kitchen, our favorite meeting place with our coffee and some brownies I had picked up at the bakery in town. I started with my thoughts.

"Let me make a couple of suggestions and then we can discuss them. Nothing is set yet so these are just suggestions. OK?"

Ellen just nodded.

"First, the house should be neutral territory. By that I mean if I need something from the house, I call and you make time available for me to pick up whatever I need. I'll call first, but you have to make the time. OK?"

Again, a nod.

"Second, since we are just separating and not divorced, we are still married. That means I'll have no women in my room and you'll have no men over to the house. That is not negotiable. Unless we can agree on that, there is no separation and we go back to considering divorce or legal separation. Can you agree to that?"

"Yes, I agree with that. I hadn't even thought of that but you're right. That way there's no confusion and no temptations. I agree."

"Next, if one of us, either you or I, decides that he or she wants to see another person during this time, we can do so only after telling the other. That means dinner or lunch or coffee alone with someone of the opposite sex. No confusion and no disagreements. OK?"

"That's OK with me. I have no intention of seeing anyone so I can agree with that. Did you plan on dating? Since you brought it up, I just wondered."

"No, I have no such intentions. We have been married 23 years and it's never once entered my head but now I'm not sure about you."

She began to say something but I held my hand up to forestall any denial on her part. I was convinced she had no idea of what she was capable of just now.

"I think we should add one further condition since this is a true separation even if it's not a legal one. If one of us decides that we would like to do more than just see another person, we do so with the same stipulation: we tell the other. That is something that needs to be done and done very carefully. If not, the consequences may be worse than the separation. As I said, we are still married. Again, I have no intention of doing that but I don't want to have to come back and talk about it after something happens and it becomes too late. Let's get it out in the open now. OK?"

"The same thing goes. Since I have no intention of doing anything like that, I agree. So are there any other conditions we have to agree to? This sounds like a major split rather than a cooling off period."

"No, I think that about covers it. Like I said, we need this time apart but we are still married and we need to remember that. Living alone with no spousal obligations may make things look a lot different to you. It would be very easy to forget that you're married."

"Well, not to me but maybe to you. I think you're just setting things up so that you can do things you want to do without me. But, we'll see."

I was satisfied with our discussion about the upcoming split and I felt somewhat better about it. I still had misgivings and I worried about what could happen but I decided that we had to do this now rather than let things deteriorate further. We could consider counseling if this worked and we decided to work for our marriage. This time alone would give us a clearer perspective.

I went to bed rather early that evening since I had a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I had meetings all morning and into the afternoon and then I had a proposal to consider and decisions to make that might take me into the early evening. Then I had to move my stuff into my new room at the club and find some way to relax. At least, the day after that was Saturday and I could take the time to organize my new digs.

I showered and got into bed prepared to read a while before trying to get to sleep. I had just settled into my book when Ellen came into my room. I expected her to work on her plans as she did almost every night but tonight she had other ideas. She told me to put the book down and make love to her. Well, that was certainly a welcome request and one that hadn't been forthcoming for more than three months. It had been that long since she wanted to make love.

She slid into the bed and moved over next to me. I put my arm around her and pulled her tightly against me and kissed her hair. I enjoyed having her body next to mine and I wanted to just enjoy it for a moment but she was not going to let me. She immediately reached for my soft penis and began to work it with her hand, sliding it up and down the shaft squeezing as she went. I knew from experience that she was fingering herself with the other hand. This was usual for her and it signaled her desire to get us both ready in as little time as possible. While I enjoyed the feeling she was creating in my now awakening cock, it still made me a little angry. She didn't want to make love: she wanted sex and she wanted it fast so it would take as little time as possible. This had been her way more and more and it felt more and more like a duty fuck. Well, not now and not with this separation idea of hers.

I reached down to take her hand and stop her ministrations. She looked up at me with anger.

"What are you doing? Don't you want to make love to me? Are you so anxious to be rid of me that you can't even take the time to make love with me?"

"You don't want to make love. This is what you've been doing for the past year or so. Just a quick fuck to get it over with. Do your duty and go to sleep. Well, not for me, thanks."

With that, I rolled off the bed and went back downstairs to the den. If I had to sleep there tonight, so be it. But after a few minutes, I realized she wasn't going to make an issue of it so I waited for another ten minutes or so and went back to the spare room. She had gone and the door to our bedroom was closed. I went in, closed my own door and slid back into bed. I tried to read but the tears kept interfering so I finally turned out the light and tried to fall asleep. I finally succeeded and woke the next morning, depressed but ready.

There were coffee and bagels when I went down to the kitchen the next morning. I had a big day planned and it was nice to start it off this way. Ellen seemed very happy for a change. Apparently the failure last night had made her happy with the fact that I was leaving today. I didn't say anything about it and we parted on fairly good terms. I wanted to get to work and begin my preparations for the move so I left as soon as I could.

I began my day early and was soon totally immersed in my meetings. The day went fairly quickly since I was involved almost continuously. I had no time to think of what was to come and no time to worry about it. I worked steadily until almost dinner time and since I didn't have to worry about going home, I decided to work on the proposal over a good meal in the club restaurant. I worked again until almost 8:00 that evening before getting one of the stewards to have one of the boys give me a hand getting my stuff up to my room.

We got the bags successfully moved and I was left alone with my belongings and my new home, consisting of a small sitting room with a TV, a desk and a loveseat, a rather large bedroom with a double bed and a built in TV and a small desk with a reading lamp and the bathroom which was quite nice. All in all, it wasn't bad for a single guy. I spent the rest of the evening unpacking and hanging up my clothes and putting the rest of my stuff in the drawers and closets. I was done by 10:30 and decided to make a call to Ellen to give her my room number and my telephone number. That was per our agreement so the call was OK to make.

"Hi Ellen, it's me. I just finished unpacking and settling in and I have the contact information for you. Got a pen? OK, I'll wait. Good, the number is 555-6495 and I'm in room 3A. It's not bad. Actually, it's quite nice for a single guy."

"You're not a single guy and I don't expect you to act like one."

"Well, you know what I mean. It's just me here so it's like I was single. It's not like I can talk to you anytime or see you before bed or ask you questions about the kids and things."

"Yes, I know it's necessary but I don't have to like it. Maybe you do, but I don't."

That's when it started and I realized it almost immediately. I interrupted her to remind her that we had agreed not to do this and told her I was going to hang up. I did and almost broke down in tears then but squared my shoulders and made up my mind to go ahead with this plan. A plan that was looking more and more foolish by the minute.

I settled in, took a shower and sat down to watch a little mindless entertainment. Mindless it was and entertainment it wasn't. I finally settled in with my book and fell asleep before finishing more than five pages. I slept the sleep of the just until the alarm woke me for the first full day of our separation.

Over the next two weeks, I made most of the arrangements and transferred my responsibilities over to Jordan Collins who was taking my old job. Jordan was a good man and I had no hesitation to give him the files and such that he needed. He and I spent some time with Hugh Preston and we agreed on work priorities. We worked well together and things went according to plan. During this time, I called Ellen once or twice but actually I forgot on several occasions and by the time I remembered it was too late.