Consequences - Eve

John was sitting with his head down and his hands clasped in front of him. He stayed that way without responding so I decided to finish it once and for all.

"I was wrong in what I did, but I never meant for you to know and I never intended it to happen again. I made a terrible mistake but it was not because of any fault of yours. You never gave me reason to cheat on you or on our marriage. I understand that."

John just waited, apparently to see if I had any requests or questions. It was clear that he had made his decision and I would pay the price for my indiscretion. I was strangely content with that. There was only one thing left to say and now was the time.

"One last thing I want to say to you and then you can leave. I loved you from the first time I saw you and I love you still. That has never changed and it never will. You were the first and will be the last man that I truly love. This ends because of my actions and not because of you. That should give you some peace."

With that, I rose and went upstairs with as much dignity as I could muster. I needed to cry but I didn't want to do it in front of John. I made it into the bedroom where I fell sobbing onto the bed. I never heard the door shut when he left but I knew in my heart when he was gone.

It took me just a month to find a new place and to move my belongings. I called Holly and she helped me to pack my clothes and intimate things. I took only the things that I had to have and left everything that John had gotten me or that I had purchased that I didn't absolutely have to have. Some of the things were precious to me but I left them behind. They were a part of my life that was irrevocably gone. I ended up with just a few boxes and my suitcases. Holly and I managed to carry everything ourselves and we piled it in a small pickup truck that I had rented.

I stood in the driveway and took a final look at the home that John and I had shared for the last five years. When we had moved into this place from our first apartment, John said that this was our new beginning. Now it signaled the ending. I let the tears fall, washing away the end of my marriage. I drove away and never looked back.

My choice to help Bobby was made in compassion and love but it was the wrong choice. I knew that at the time but continued anyway. I never thought of the consequences.

Consequences can be a bitch!