Consequences - Judith, Revisited

"But why? You are still as hot as ever and you have all any woman would want. You're successful, good looking, great in the sack and pretty well off. What's stopping you?"

"It appears that I can't find anyone who satisfies me completely. None of the women I dated or spent any time with were what I wanted. Some were too pushy, some were not aggressive enough, some were just not good in bed and some were just after a body to keep them warm and take care of them. They all lacked something."

He stopped then, looked at me very seriously and said, "There was one who had it all, but it didn't work out."

I took the bait, wanting him to keep on talking. This was my Rick and even if he said something that would hurt me, it was so wonderful to sit here with him and just talk.

"Why not? Was she stupid? Was she so stupid that she let you get away? Who was that crazy lady?"

"She was you. And yes, she was stupid and she did let me get away. As a matter of fact, she pushed me away. It was too bad, because she was perfect for me."

My breath came in small gasps. This was it! This was my chance for something I had given up all hope of ever having. If I didn't try now, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I might crash and burn, but I would go down fighting. Taking my heart in my hands, I went for it.

"Maybe she learned her lesson Rick. Maybe she's smarter now and knows what she would have with a man like you. Maybe she's ready for you now. Ready for a life together with all that means. It's for sure she wouldn't make the same mistakes again."

"Do you think that's possible? Could she be different this time around? Why wouldn't she make the same mistakes again? I don't think I could take that again. It was too painful the first time it happened."

"I think she would die before she would make those mistakes again. She knows the pain she caused to those she loved and I think she would die before she hurt them like that again. As a matter of fact, I know she would. I know it with all my heart."

Rick looked at me and I held my breath. Could he forgive me? Had the years softened his heart and made the pain I gave him less intense, enough that he could learn to love me again? I looked him in the eyes and I held his gaze, the truth of who I was now clear, if he chose to look deep enough.

He said nothing but reached for my hand. I gave it to him, still holding my breath. If he didn't say something soon, I was going to die! This night had gone in a direction I had never anticipated. He had gone all the way back and he did it all at once. It offered up a chance that I believed was gone forever and I wasn't sure I could hold on much longer without screaming out loud.

"I believe you because I want to believe you, Judith. I have to believe you if I want to be happy. I've not been happy for the last eight years. I've tried to forget you and move on but that's been a failure. All those women weren't you, and that's who I was searching for. I finally realized that there was only one woman for me.

"But Judith, if you hurt me again, you'll kill me. Understand that! If we start again, it has to be for the rest of our lives. Don't say or do anything unless you can promise me that. You have to promise me that or I have to walk away like I did eight years ago. I couldn't take it if you did it again!

"Can you promise me that? Can you, knowing what you are promising?"

I got up from my chair, walked toward him, and in front of everyone in that lounge, I knelt in front of him and held both of his hands in mine and said, "I promise on my life."

Epilogue

Will's team was defeated in the quarter finals and we all cheered him even as they lost. He played brilliantly and that was enough to get him the scholarship he so wanted. His father and I were so proud of him that night. He played his heart out but took the loss with dignity. He went on to play in college and graduated with a degree in Business Management. He joined his father's company when he graduated and progressed up through the ranks until Rick felt confident enough to retire and turn it over to him. Along the way, he married Jill, his high school sweetheart and they have three wonderful kids.

Robert earned an academic scholarship and attended Harvard. He wanted to be a lawyer and graduated with honors. He went on to finish his degree in Law and joined a practice in New York City. He earned a reputation as a tenacious opponent and finally left to start his own practice. He now has four lawyers in his firm and has proposed to a girl he met in one of his cases. They seem to be deeply in love and we hope for the best for them.

Rick and I dated for several years after that night in Columbus. I wanted nothing more than to be with him in any way that he would permit. He said he loved me and I certainly loved him but he was still cautious. I couldn't blame him since I was the one that made him who he was then. I never pressed him or asked for more than he was willing to give me. We moved in together when Robert went on to college and we've lived together ever since. When the boys come home, we are all together just as we used to be. Nothing seemed different to those who knew us.

I kept my company and we continued to be successful in the field. I let my partners take more and more of the responsibility and worked less and less. But when Rick decided to let Will take over his company, I made an equally difficult decision and sold my company to a group made up of my employees. I let them know that I would very seriously consider any offer made by them. We reached an agreement and I left, retiring once and for all.

I was sitting at our kitchen table one afternoon, considering what to do about my upcoming birthday. Will and Robert both were coming home to help me celebrate my sixtieth birthday. I wasn't sure it was something to celebrate but they wanted to do something special so I agreed. Rick had just turned sixty one and agreed that we should have a party. I gave up, being outvoted by my three men.

Rick came in from the outside, looking fit and healthy, his tanned skin glowing with a light sheen of sweat. He sat down across from me and asked me to get him a glass of iced tea. I smiled at him, taking his warm hand in mine, still not over the wonderful gift of forgiveness he gave me almost ten years ago on that night when he took me back. I would never get over it and I thanked God every night for that gift.

I rose and went to the refrigerator to get the pitcher of sweetened tea we kept full at all times. I poured us both a glass with plenty of ice and carried both back to the table. Rick was sitting there, looking nervous now. I sat down, slid one glass over to him and asked with some concern, "What's the matter Rick? You look troubled. Is something wrong?"

He looked up and shook his head from side to side. "No, nothing is wrong."

I noticed that he was holding something in his hand and wondered what it was. I didn't have long to wait. He stood, walked around the table to stand beside me and then, in a gesture so similar to the one I made that night in Columbus when I knelt in front of him in that lounge in front of everyone there and made my promise to him, knelt down and took my left hand in his.

"Judith, I have been happier in the last ten years then I have ever been. You have been all I could ever have hoped for and I love you more than ever."

He opened the box and took out my old engagement ring, the one he took back when he divorced me. He held it up in position to slip onto my finger.

"Judith, will you marry me again?"

I pushed my hand forward before he could move that ring away!

"Yes, oh, yes I'll marry you."