Cousin's Dilemma

"What else?"

"What else is there?"

"What about the parts men look at? At least other men have been looking even if you haven't."

I sat and put my head in my hands. "There's no way out of this, is there?"

She grinned at my discomfort and shook her head.

I took a deep breath. "Okay, okay. Your legs aren't just long, they are shapely. Your butt is firm and round."

"What else do I have?"

"Cripes. Your breasts are perfect. Someone in school probably teased you that they were small, but they're perfect for you. If they were any bigger your figure would look out of balance or something."

She sat on my lap and gave me a peck on the cheek. "There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" She wiggled on my lap a bit and grinned. "Or maybe it was. Something is."

I know I turned red and she laughed as she got up, glanced at my crotch, and grinned.

"What the hell are you doing, Robyn?"

"Sorry for making you uncomfortable, but I've been tossing an idea around in my head and I guess it was my way of sorting things out. I have something to ask you, but it will wait until tomorrow. Good night."

I had no idea what she was up to and dreamed about her taking that bathing suit off. When I woke up I was conflicted. She was my cousin and I had just dreamed about her naked. I know it was brought on by her asking me to describe her. Maybe the time had come to end this experiment of her staying with me.

After breakfast we sat on the patio out back, sipping coffee.

"It's quiet this morning. I wonder why the kids next door aren't out riding bikes or scooters."

"They went to the beach on vacation for the week. No kids until next weekend."

We put the breakfast dished in the dishwasher and she stood before me with her arms folded across her chest.

"Uh oh. Is this where you tell me that thing you mentioned last night?"

"What do you think of my figure sketches?"

"I think they're amazing."

"I don't. Not yet. You see, that anatomy class reminded me that the human body is nothing but a structure, just like a building. It reminds me of the Intro to Structural Engineering class I took sophomore year. Buildings have hidden interior support and exterior cladding. Just as many buildings can have the same structure inside but look different because of how the outsides are hung on the structure, we are different by the muscles and skin hung on our structures."

"Okay, I follow you so far."

"That's something that did fascinate my about engineering. If I had completed my degree I would have been a structural engineer. I took enough physics and statics classes to understand the basic principles."

"I'm sure you're coming to a point you couldn't make last night."

"I want to sketch you."

"Okay."

"Nude."

My jaw nearly dropped open.

"I've done kids and even girls, although with clothes. We had a figure sketching class at the community college back home, but the models were always women. The underlying structure of men is somewhat different, and the exterior cladding is definitely different. I need to do a man. Several poses and from different perspectives."

"But, you're my cousin."

She threw her hands in the air. "Forget the cousin thing. That's why I asked you to describe my body, to forget about I'm your cousin and see me as a woman. I want to see you as a man."

"Ummm, if I were to agree to this, when would you propose doing it?"

"I'm set up now. We have all day. The light coming in the front window is perfect. As it gets later I'd probably move some lights around to get better illumination. Shadows are important."

"As in right now?"

"Is that a problem? I thought if you didn't have a lot of time to think about it, it would be...spontaneous. I'm ready when you are."

"You had me describe your body last night and I know you noticed how my body reacted. Shit, I can't take my clothes off in front of you."

"Afraid of a boner? I sort of like the idea of a boner. It's part of what makes a man a man."

I hesitated.

"Okay, fair's fair. You take off your clothes and I'll take off mine. We'll be naked in front of each other. We'll be even. So, are you a man or a mouse, as the saying goes? I can't learn real figure sketching without a model. Here, before we start I'll dig out some I did in art class back home, so you'll know I'm serious."

She rummaged through one of her portfolios and pulled out several sketches. They were well done sketches of nude women. One sitting in a chair, one sitting in the floor with one leg tucked under her, one standing with one hip cocked to the side and a hand resting on her hip. A number of poses. Head facing, head turned. Light hair, dark hair. Most had some sort of pubic hair.

I held the sketches and leafed through them. "These are quite good, as are the one you did of the kids next door."

"But kids have kid bodies, women have certain curves. That's probably why artists almost always use women as models. Men are different. I need a man - I need you to pose." She grinned "What, do you want me to walk up to some man on the street and ask him to take his clothes off for me? I think he'd be looking for more than just to sit for me."

"I can't argue with your logic, it's just...uncomfortable. I helped your mom change your diaper once."

"TMI. You must've been what, eight? But I'm grown up now."

"That's the problem. You're very grown up."

"I said I'd take my clothes off, too. Here we go. Shirts!"

She crossed her arms and pulled up her tee shirt, pulling it over her head and off. "Come on. Your turn."

I thought it best not to think about it and pulled off my tee shirt. Of course she wore a bra and I had nothing under mine, so she shrugged and took the bra off. I tried not to look, but couldn't help it. I thought the front of my shorts would rip open as I gazed at the firm, round breasts. Probably just the right size to cover with my hands. Smallish pink areolas and nipples that seemed to harden as I watched.

"Oops. We have shoes on."

We sat and removed our shoes and socks together.

She unbuttoned and unzipped her shorts while I unbuckled my belt and pulled down the zipper. Both pairs of shorts hit the floor at the same time. There was no hiding or denying the bulge in my underwear as I looked over at her VERY brief briefs. She cocked her head and looked at my bulge. "Something wants to come out."

"Shut up. Let's just get this done."

She grinned as we simultaneously pushed down our underwear. I got even harder looking at the neatly trimmed triangle on her mons and clean shaven lips. She walked around me, studying.

"I think I'd like to do you standing first. It won't take too long. Why don't you rest a hand on the back of that chair? Good...now turn your body this way just a little...and look over at the wall."

"That's going to be difficult to maintain."

"Standing?"

"No, looking at the wall."

"Well, let's make it easy then. Look at me."

"Maybe I'd better look at the wall."

"Very funny. Definitely look at me. Since you're hard I'd like you to stay that way. I've never really looked at a boner before and want to get it right."

"You've never seen one?"

"Uh uh. No, I'm not a virgin. I just never looked. I always seemed to be the object of the...situation."

She sketched away, and I watched her breasts move as she moved her arms. In spite of myself, cousin or not, I wanted to put my hands on them.

"So Keith, you're what? Twenty eight?"

"Bingo."

"So, why are you living alone in a two bedroom place? Ooh, that little move you did with your head. Do it again. Yes...just like that."

"I haven't found the right girl yet."

"Come on. A guy as good looking as you can't get a girl?"

I was suddenly very defensive. "Well, I'm kind of busy and don't have a lot of time for socializing. I go out with some friends and we hang out. The group has both sexes, but nothing of a romantic nature. Just friends."

"Just friends. Huh. Don't tell me you're a virgin."

"I am not."

"So, how many have you had?"

"That's rather personal."

"You're standing in front of me with a rod sticking out at a right angle and talk to me about something being personal?"

"Okay. I had a few girlfriends in college. Had sex with a few. I actually sort of lived with a girl for a semester and a half before we graduated. Occasionally meet someone now and again, but I'm not a big fan of one night stands."

"Um hmm. How long's it been?"

"What?"

"Since you've banged."

"You are definitely not the girl I remember."

She put down her pencil for a moment and laughed. "No, I certainly am not! And to answer what you want to know, it's been a year for me, back when I was a sophomore in college. You?"

"About the same, I guess. I don't think about it when I get overwhelmed with work."

"Have I put a damper on your sex life? I can go out for an evening. Maybe I'll meet someone in a bar."

"Go out to a bar if you want, but you're not keeping me from doing anything. I lead a pretty dull life."

"God. You say I'm pretty and I say you're good looking, yet here we are, sexless...Is that something dripping?"

I looked down to see a glistening clear drop on the tip of my penis and grabbed my shirt off the floor to wipe it away,

"I've never seen that before. Later you'll have to explain it. In the meantime, move the shirt so I can get a good look. Now, don't freak out, I'm just going to take a closer look. I want to see the details."

She held the pencil as she circled me, looking at my erection from different angles. "Interesting."

Back at her board she continued sketching. "Almost done. I may add some shading. I lay the pencil lead on its side and rub a bit of a smear and then take my finger and smooth it out until it looks like the shadow I want it to."

After a few more minutes she laid the pencil down and scrunched up her face as she looked at her work. "Not exactly what I wanted, but it's better than I thought it would be. A couple more sessions and I should be ready to do you with clothes on."

"Why without clothes first?"

"Like I told you, I need to see the underlying structure - the way your skin stretches over your pelvis, the relation of your hips to the rest of your body. A man's hips are different from a woman's. And, of course, that nice long rod. With your clothes on I need to be able to account for it. Not something I have to deal with when I do a woman. Of course, I have to account for breasts instead."

She turned the paper around for me to see. It was a pretty good likeness, but the erection was embarrassing. What caught my attention was the separate drawing of an enlarged view of my penis off to the side.

"What do you think of my extra study?"

"Um, not bad I guess. I've never really studied it myself."

"Give me a break. I know you guys spend a lot of time playing with it. I bet you know every bump and hair on it." She laughed at my further embarrassment and then pointed. "I think you need that shirt again."

I wiped and she stood by me. "This is beyond our deal, but can I touch it?"

"I kind of think that wouldn't be a good idea."

"I've already seen it close up. I want to know how hard it feels."

"You've had sex and never touched a guy?"

"Never. I was fascinated watching them do me. The looks on their faces was hilarious as they rammed it in and started pumping. And then it was over and they sort of collapsed. By the time they took their cock out it was kind of soft looking."

"You never said anything about your participation in sex. Were you completely passive?"

"I pretended to be all happy about it, but other than the first time I didn't feel much. The first time hurt like hell. Like I said, I was never particularly curious about it, but now that I'm into drawing it I am. Just one touch?"

"I'm afraid it's been so long since I...did it... that one touch might be finish me off."

"I know what happens, and could sort of feel it happen inside. Bet you've watched it. I hear it's something guys do. Oops, I hit a nerve with that one. Look how red you are. Speaking of red, that thing looks...well...how does it feel to be like that? Does it hurt? Oops again, you'd better keep that shirt in your hand if you're going to continue to drip."

I wiped again.

"Keith, I know we're cousins and all, but in the interest of research could you let me touch it? If stuff comes out...use your shirt or something. Still hesitant? Here's another deal. You let me touch it, happen what may, and you can feel my tits. I bet that's a deal."

She pulled a chair up next to me and slowly reached out to touch me, first with a finger, then two, then with a light grip. She played her fingers over the head and shaft, reached under me to explore gently and then slid her hands over me and squeezed, intently studying all the time.

"Uh, Robyn. I think you'd better stop."

"Something's getting ready to happen, isn't it? I want to see."

"Not now. Please."

Reluctantly she released me before things got messy.

"Well, that was a little disappointing, but a deal's a deal. Go ahead and feel my tits."

Cousin or not, my hands went to her chest as if they were magnets. I closed my eyes as I explored the soft flesh and rubbed a thumb over the nipples. She gasped.

That brought me to my senses and I pulled my hands back.

"It's okay, Keith. I was unprepared for how that would feel. It's like nothing any of those boys did. They squeezed hard, but your touch was nice. I liked it."

She put her implements into a special pouch.

"To finish I'd like to take a picture. I think I've got your most interesting part done right, but I need to work some more on your body. Hold the position you had before while I take some snaps."

She pulled out her phone and took photos from several different angles.

"I can use these to finish the drawing later today."

We got dressed and I pulled out some leftovers for lunch.

"That pouch you keep things in looks pretty full. What all do you carry in there?"

"Mostly stuff from my engineering drawing class, but I use a lot of it. I have pencils of different hardness, erasers, triangles, compass, dividers and an engineering ruler with different scales on it. Stuff nobody uses any more on jobs. Everything is CADD now. It's amazing what they can do. But I had a professor who believed we should know how to do real drawings as well. Shoot, now you don't even have to have a pencil except to mark up drawings in progress that are printed out. I like to have tools in my hands." She looked at me and grinned. "And that was a nice tool I held in my hands earlier," and laughed once more at my embarrassment.

We went swimming in the afternoon just before dinner. I hoped no one would see the bulge in my bathing suit as I remembered what was under that bikini top.

She worked on finishing her work and I tried to watch TV and not think about things I shouldn't be thinking of.

I was about to get up and get ready for bed when she came in and showed me what she had done. I was amazed at the reality, but I kind of wished she had skipped over certain bumps and blemishes. Her detail image of my erection certainly showed she had a keen eye for minute detail, every vein looked perfect.

The next morning I came down for breakfast and found her hunched over a bowl of cereal. "I made some coffee. Hope it's the way you like it."

When we finished she said mysteriously "Tonight I want to get another perspective."

"What does that mean?"

She grinned in response.

All day I thought about what she said, but gave up trying to figure her out.

After we cleared the dishes and cleaned up after dinner we stood in the dining area.

"The light's different now. I'd like to look again and see if I can do anything different. Shall we assume the positions we had yesterday? I want to observe you closer."

"Don't you have everything you need? I don't understand what value you could get from another session."

"There's plenty of value. Shall we start with shirts off together?"

We repeated the procedure for removing our clothes and she had me stand up, taking a position directly in front of me. "I have a good side view, but want a full straight on view as well. I can only see a small round part of it, but want to practice giving the impression of size through the shadow it casts on your body. Shadows are great for defining contour."

It only took her a short while to get what she wanted. She came up close, so her eye was almost touching the tip. A strand of hair fell forward and brushed against my erection and it twitched, causing her to smile. She picked up my shirt and wiped a drop off the tip. "Here, let me do this for ya."

At last she put down her implements. "I think I've got just what I want."

I reached for my clothes but she came over and put a hand on my arm, shaking her head. She sat on the floor and indicated for me to also sit. I leaned back against a wall and she sat cross-legged in front of me.

"I want to follow up on something we said yesterday. You said it had been about a year since you've had sex, and it's been at least that long for me. How do you stand it?"

"I don't follow you."

"What do you do to relieve the longing, desire...whatever you call it?"

She laughed as my entire body turned red.

"Come on. I hear guys, you might say, take matters into their own hands. I assume you do it. I hear even married guys do it sometimes."

"Who have you been talking to, anyway?"

"Just things said in the dorm at college. If I'd stayed in school longer I might have learned more about it. So, answer truthfully, do you do it to yourself?"

"Umm, yeah, I guess."

"You guess? Can't you remember? You must not be very good at it."

"Okay. Yes, I do it. Happy?"

"Not exactly, but thanks for your honesty. I do it to myself, too. Does that surprise you?"

"Until yesterday I never would have guessed you would have had any need to do it. I would have guessed you had a pretty healthy sex life."

"What makes you think that? Have I given off vibes that I'm available for whatever?"

"Nothing like that. I just thought, with your looks guys would be all over you."

"News flash. That doesn't happen. It seems we're in the same situation." She looked away a moment as if thinking of what to say before turning an earnest face toward me. "It seems to me that, for whatever reason, we have been sexless. I can also appreciate how it must feel for you to be nude in front of me. That's why I joined you. But the sessions have aroused certain...thoughts for me as well. Tell me something. What do you think of when you do it? Do you look at porn or something?"

"I...uh...no, I don't use porn while doing it. Sometimes I may look at that first and then just close my eyes and think about it. Sometimes I remember certain...things...I did with certain girls in the past. There's no set pattern."

She nodded. "I fantasize. I visualize something being done to me. My sex experiences have been rather unsatisfactory, but I fantasize what it would be like with a perfect lover."

There was a long silence before she continued. "How did it feel yesterday? Was feeling my tits something you'd remember?"

My throat was dry and I nodded, adding in a whisper "It felt heavenly. Definitely memorable."

"Same here. I never felt like that before. As I said, my so-called partners were kind of rough with them. I couldn't believe how your touch felt."

She licked her lips. "You don't have to answer this, but would touching me yesterday be something you would use to...whatever you call it - wank? Beat off? Jerk off? I don't know the correct term."

There I sat, and my gaze fell directly on her breasts. "Yeah."

"I saw you dripping something and you said it was something that happened before you...came. You had another drop today. Does that mean you are...primed? Ready?"