Cowboy Up but Not Down

"Oh my God! Eric, can't we talk about this? Of course, I don't want a divorce." I knew the paperwork not only took the wind out of her but also came as a total surprise.

"You are never home and never honor our agreements. You've long ago stopped having sex with me, I'm sure you have a lover, especially since you are never home. You must think of me as dumb and stupid, but I can see what's going on. Have you forgotten how I can read you like a book and right now you have affair written all over you."

"You know how busy I am, and I'm expected to attend most of the social events in Dallas and the suburbs. I've never given you a reason to think I'm cheating and no I don't have a lover."

"Ann, that's a bullshit excuse. Do you remember a few weeks ago, I came to take you to lunch but instead of me, you went out with that investment advisor. I know you went to the Holiday Inn and were late returning to the bank. Lunches don't take three hours. I know why you went there and, yes, I think you have been cheating and maybe for quite some time, and I expect that is the reason you don't want sex with me."

"There was a business meeting at the Holiday Inn."

"Where? I walked through the entire hotel and didn't see any business meeting."

She just stood there looking at me, so I added: "You have already told enough lies. I don't think you care about our marriage vows that we took 35 years ago. You can do what you want because I'm moving to the ranch. It's obvious you don't want to be around me, but I will tell you this: if you bring that bastard to this house and fuck him here there will be blood spilled. Maybe, you already have for all I know. As you know, I have strong views on infidelity and cheating. I am just one step away from kicking you to the curb and filing for divorce, I have already signed the divorce paperwork, and the next step is filing, and you won't come out of the divorce unscathed as I will be filing for adultery. I will ruin both yours and his careers. Now you've been warned, I'm going to give you a piece of advice: quit your job, break up with your lover, and come live with me on the ranch. If you do that, we will try to put our marriage back together and don't forget that you are and have been the only love of my life. I have never thought about cheating but since you have started denying me sex maybe I should. Also, I will not tolerate being lied to. I will give you four weeks to get your shit together, and you must stop seeing this bastard immediately, or I will file."

"I will consider it."

"Ann, that was a bullshit answer and the last thing I wanted to hear so if you want to stay married you had better do more than consider it because the clock is ticking. You've got to decide between him and me." I turned and gathered my belongings and left. I felt like I had left part of life behind.

I have to give Ann credit as the next two weekends she came out to the ranch. We went out on Friday night and had a splendid time, the best in ages. Saturday mornings we had sex, for the first time in several months, and we both enjoyed it. I told Ann to put her boots on because I had a surprise to show her.

We took the ATV up to the main barn where we stable horses. I took Ann inside and in one of the birthing stalls was a newborn colt. It was an Appaloosa and one of the first to have been bred and born on the ranch, and he was only a week old.

Ann took one look and then looking at me, "Eric he is so beautiful, why haven't you told me?"

"Ann, there is so much going on out here that I wanted to share with you, but you never let me talk to you. You have treated me as if I'm subservient to you and like you're ashamed to be around me. We've not been out together to a fancy place in Dallas in two years which, by the way, is when I think your affair started. Come to think about it when was the last time we actually went out to eat, even to McDonald's?"

"Eric, I'm sorry and ashamed for the way I've treated you. I dearly want to make it up to you. Yesterday, I gave the bank two weeks' notice. I have two more weeks to work then I'm finished and promise to be a great wife again."

"What can't you just walk away now? You have worked at that bank for a long time and don't owe them anything. Maybe you are still seeing your lover. Do you remember me telling you our marriage was finished if you continued? Are you still fucking that bastard?"

"Eric, there has been no affair! I gave the banks two weeks' notice, and I feel obligated to keep my promise."

"So next weekend when you return we can sit down and make plans for our retirement and you won't look freshly fucked?"

"Oh God, Eric, will you stop? Yes, we can make plans next weekend and the following Friday there will be a retirement party for me. I hope you can be there. After the party, I am yours, forever."

"Unlike you who was too busy to attend my retirement party, I will do everything in my power to be there, but I have already obligated myself to go to Montana that week to look at horses. But I promise you that I will do everything in my power to be there. If necessary, I will move heaven and earth, but if I find out you are still seeing this bastard there will be blood spilled, mark my word!"

I did do everything in my power, in fact, I drove 36 hours without a break. Now, I understand why Ann called me the afternoon of her retirement party; she wanted to find out where I was. I wanted to surprise her, so I acted like I was still in Montana. Now I find myself driving to the ranch wondering if I have a marriage left to salvage.

When I arrived at the ranch house, Ann was in the kitchen. She had changed out of her fancy dress and was now wearing jeans. "Eric, I've made a pot of coffee, let's sit down, and I will be completely honest with you and answer any questions you have."

Before sitting down, I laid the divorce paperwork on the table. "Ann, I do have a lot of questions, and I already know most of the answers, so I will know if you aren't telling the truth. My first question is: are you currently or been having an affair with that bastard?"

"No, I haven't had an affair with him although he has tried several times over the past two years to entice me into one. I take our vows seriously and although I realize I haven't been the best wife I haven't had an affair."

"Ann, are you telling me you haven't had sex with him?"

"This is going to hurt you, and I'm sorry for allowing it to happen, but yes at one of the events I had too much to drink and then someone slipped a date rape drug in my drink. I have never experienced anything like it. Jim denied doing it, but now we know he did. I was conscious but could neither speak or fight him off. He took me to his apartment and had sex with me. I was utterly powerless to resist."

"How many times that night did he have sex with you?

"Three times. Once as soon as we arrived at his apartment, once in the middle of the night, and the next morning I woke up as he entered me again. I was dry, and he had lubed up his dick, and without foreplay, he pushed right in. By then the drug had worn off, but I couldn't find the power to push him off. As soon as he finished, I got up, dressed and left. That was about five or six weeks ago, and until last night I avoided every attempt he has made to see me."

"Did he make you cum?"

"No, the first two fucks I just lay there passively and although I was conscious of what he was doing I wasn't turned on in the least. The next morning while he was fucking me I found myself getting aroused and made myself cum with my fingers. He was all about himself and didn't care about me or making me cum." Ann got up and refilled our coffee cups before continuing, "Eric, I promise you that is the only time I had sex with him and if he hadn't drugged me I would not have had sex even then."

Ann neither seemed upset or sincere and not a tear had been shed. "But you have been seeing him for two years, haven't you?"

"He has been my escort to these charity events I had to attend. I allowed him to kiss me a couple of times and a few times he had roaming hands when we danced, but I never had sex with him. Almost every man I danced with had wandering hands."

"What did his wife say about all this?"

"He's divorced; I guess for at least five or six years."

"Ann, I so wish you could have talked and been more open with me about two years ago and especially after you were drugged and raped."

"Eric, I have a couple of questions, first how did you find out about all this?"

"You were there and saw the fight, do you remember my promise about finding you and that bastard together? He may need a blood transfusion. After I well and truly beat the shit out of him he opened up and told me everything. Do you see my face?" My left eye was almost swollen shut, and I had cuts and bruises scattered across my face. "I can assure you he is worse for wear than I am and I'm positive he won't be fucking anyone for a while. After he had submitted, he told me everything, including about the date rape drug he used on you. He had planned to use it on you tonight too and if I hadn't shown up you would most likely be in his bed right now."

Ann gasped before replying, "His injuries are worse than yours?

"Yes, he most likely has ruptured testicles and a broken nose, that is where all this blood came from." Ann seemed more concerned about Anderson's injuries than my own and to learn that he was out of the sex game must have come as a shock.

"How did you know he had planned to use the date rape drug again?"

"He showed the drug to me and told me of his intentions. Apparently, that was the only way he could get you into his bed."

"He should be reported to the police."

"When I left, he was in handcuffs, and the police had heard every word of his confession. I think he could well face some jail time. You said you had two questions, what is the second."

"If you had suspicions for such a long time why didn't you say something."

"Ann, that is a stupid question. Do you realize how many times I have said something? Your answer was always we will talk later or I don't have time to talk right now. Maybe I should have hired a PI and put all this shit to bed two years ago. But you have to understand that after putting up with this for two years I finally had all I could take and had that divorce paperwork prepared."

"Eric, I have been putting my needs first, I am so sorry to have left you out."

"Until recently, you stopped coming to the ranch or even showing interest when I tried to tell you what was going on. Are you aware that we now employ six vaqueros on the ranch and Miguel has been promoted to foreman? We have two vaqueros who are solely responsible for taking care of the horses, and we have over 50. We are now breeding and raising horses and not just Appaloosas. We have over 100 head of purebred Charolais cattle, and we have over 200 head of purebred Black Angus cattle. We have so many high-value items, and I'm including the livestock, that all the men, myself included, wear a gun 24/7. We are all concerned about the possibility of something being stolen. We always carry a walkie-talkie and can summon help to any part of the ranch within minutes. Even when away from the ranch we carry as I have arranged for the men to have a concealed handgun license." I raised my shirt to show her my 9MM.

We have four oil producing wells on the ranch which alone brings in over $100,000 a month. Last year the ranch netted over $2,000,000 in profit.

"I never saw that on our income taxes."

"No, you know we have an auditor to do the taxes and all you do is sign when she is finished and you never go over the forms but just sign them. We have been able to write most of that money off as business expenses. We have new fences, new barns and have upgraded our old tractors and implements. I have even bought trucks for all the men and they also have an ATV. This year I think we are going to increase our profits by a third."

"I wish I had taken more interest in the ranch instead of attending all those charity events."

"Do you know the only time since you got promoted you invited me to one of your events was when you asked me to come to your retirement party? Even then, you knew I was going to be in Montana, but I did tell you that I would move heaven and earth to be there but I don't guess you believed me. Have you forgotten that when I give my word I keep it no matter what? I drove non-stop for 36 hours to be back for your party and even then, I was late. The doorman wouldn't let me in because of the way I was dressed so I had to slip in the back door. After nearly killing myself to attend your retirement I don't think you expected me."

"Yesterday, you were in Montana, and today you are here. That is almost impossible so, no I didn't expect you. I called you before the party, and you said you were still in Montana. I don't see how it is possible to drive that far this quickly." Ann paused before continuing.

"I regret not allowing you into the other world I found myself in. I went from a beer drinking cowgirl to a champagne drinking socialite. I didn't think you would feel comfortable in a black tie and tux. I realize now I was wrong. I guess I was so caught up in my world that I had forgotten what type of person you are. Your attributes are one of the things that attracted me to you."

"Were you embarrassed, disappointed, or pleased tonight when I broke up your little party? You looked very comfortable in Jim's embrace, and I think if I hadn't shown up you would have had sex with him. Maybe as we speak."

"You saved me tonight. Jim claimed someone else drugged me the previous time, but now I see how a conniving bastard he is. Tonight is the first time I've seen him since I gave my notice."

"Why did you allow him to be your escort to so many events the past two years and then again tonight?"

"There is a lot of reasons. Jim is not only handsome but a charmer. He looked good hanging off my arm and made me feel younger and more beautiful as well. He is rich and took me to the best places in Dallas, and he is always dressed immaculately. I was always careful what I drank and would not allow him to take advantage."

"Ann, I know I have always put the ranch first and have spent most likely too much time here and neglected our marriage, but it hurts to think you preferred his company over mine. We have money, probably more than him, and can easily afford anything we want. There is nothing I can do about my calloused hands or the twang in my cowboy voice but I wonder how you could resist Mr. Charmer for two years without having sex? I am beginning to doubt your story."

"Three years ago, and I think I mentioned it to you several times, I started going through menopause. My libido bottomed out, and I had no desire for sex. So, I found it easy to reject Jim's charms. When we had that talk about divorce four weeks ago, I got terrified and thought I was going to lose you. I went to my doctor who prescribed HRT or hormone replacement therapy. The effect of the medication took two weeks for my body to start changing but the past couple weeks I find myself thinking about sex all the time. I hope you will let me make up for what we've missed because I'm feeling horny again."

"Ann, I am hurt from your revelations and not sure if sex will ever be possible again so where do we go from here?'

"First of all, again I realize I'm repeating myself, but I'm truly sorry and hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I have officially retired and think we should sell the Plano house and build our dream house here. My past two years are over and I would just like to forget it ever happened and now I am ready to be forever by your side. I long for us, including our children and their families to be a family again."

"I feel like we've lost two or three years of our marriage and if I hadn't had that divorce talk four weeks ago, you would still be working at the bank and most likely in Jim's bed. I think that talk frightened you, and you saw what you would be giving up. Correct me if I'm wrong?"

"No, what you've said is the truth."

"I want to forgive you but do have some trust issues that I will have to deal with. I will wonder every time you go to Dallas if you are going to see that bastard. He may be facing six months in jail or less, or he may just be fined. What will you do when he texts or calls you? By the way, can I look at your phone?"

Ann unlocked her phone and handed it to me. There were dozens of texts from Jim all pleaded with her to forgive him and several reminding her how good the sex was that Saturday morning after he had drugged her. Ann's only reply was that he had taken advantage or her and because of that, she could never forgive him. I also saw they had exchanged calls several times.

"Ann, your texts are all appropriate but can you explain the phone calls from and to him?

"I think he is infatuated with me and won't leave me alone."

"Why are you calling him? Are you not tempted to have sex with him again?"

"The last couple of weeks have been very hard for me. I think about sex all the time and have started to masturbate to relieve my sexual desires. There have been a couple of times I was so horny I would have fucked a tramp so yes I have thought about the sex Jim had with me, but that is all. I haven't given into my fantasies. Now I'm here with you and feel safe. Jim can't reach out to me here.

I realized that during the entire conversation Ann frequently chose not to answer my questions directly but instead talked about some other aspect of our relationship. I had enough so I said, "We can talk more tomorrow but for now," I reached out my hand to Ann and said, "let's go to bed, it's long past my bedtime."

That night we slept in the same bed but did not have sex...

The next morning, I woke up to find Ann between my legs giving me a blowjob and when I was totally hard she moved up and rode me cowgirl style. This has always been her favorite position because she is totally in control and never fails to bring herself off. This morning was no exception. I did wonder, however, if this was some sort of make-up sex or was it to ease her guilty conscious?

During breakfast, I asked Ann if we could swap phones for a few days because I wanted to see what Jim's intentions were. This didn't please Ann, but she reluctantly agreed.

We spent the day in the ATV getting Ann reacquainted with the ranch. We packed a lunch and stopped at a bluff overlooking the Red River. We found a tree and spread a blanket and ate our lunch. Ann looked uncomfortable, and finally, I asked what was wrong, and she replied, "I know Jim will be texting me, and I'm worried what he will say."

That evening we did receive a text message, "Ann, I'm out of jail and can't wait to see you. When can you get some free time?"

I made a couple of phone calls and discovered that Anderson was only charged with simple assault and would only be fined. The powder in the small package was baking powder. Apparently, his injuries were not as severe as I had thought.

With that information, I looked at Ann and said, "Is there anything else you want to tell me? We need to have everything out in the open. I know you have lied and deceived me the past two years, so I want to hear everything and please, if you value our marriage, don't continue to lie."

"Eric, there is more, but I don't want it to tear up our marriage. I love you so much and the past four weeks feels like I had reclaimed the life we had before the promotion and I like it. I don't want to say anything that will jeopardize our marriage."

"You realize that not being honest with me and holding things back just makes me trust you less and less, and a marriage must be based on trust. So, if there are things you haven't told me it's time to get everything out in the open."