Cowboy Up but Not Down

"Ok, Jim and I have been having an affair for the past two years usually at least once a week and most of the time twice. He knew you were in Montana and had planned to have sex with me after my retirement party. That was why he was so angry when you showed up. I told him a month ago that I was finished with him, and I was returning to you. He has pursued me relentlessly since then and begged me to have sex with him one last time which would have been last night."

"So last night you lied to me about the menopause thing?"

"No, that was partially correct because my menopause did start three years ago, but then two years ago I started HRT, and my libido has been out of sight since."

"Ann, I don't know what to do. Part of me says kick you to the curb and the other part says I can't throw away 35 mostly all good years just like that. I want to work through this but how can I trust you again? Will you go running to him the first time he calls? Are you in love with him? There was no date rape drug was there?"

"I am not in love with him, he was just there to escort me to the events. No there was no date rape drug, it was just a manufactured story in case you ever discovered us. As far as seeing him again, I don't think so, but you have to help keep me strong. I fear being alone because I'm afraid of him."

"You went with him to have sex at the Holiday Inn too didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Was the sex better with him?"

"It was different, he is so much bigger and stronger than you, and he could just wrap me up in his arms. His dick is massive, much larger than yours. Neither of us had much sexual experience before we met and although our sex has always been good, sex with Jim was exhilarating. He has had sex with many women and was a master. I know this confession has hurt you but if I could go back and change things I would. I wish I never got involved with him, but he seduced me from the very start, and I found myself soon under his control and powerless to resist."

"Your confession has upset me, and I don't know if I will ever get past it. I understand why you never wanted sex with me and what little I got was mercy sex with you just lying there. That was so unlike you and I just cannot get that out of my head. I think you need to go back to Plano until I work things out in my head, but I warn you, if you see Jim again, even in public, we are finished. If you want a chance of us being together again, you must not see him."

"Ok, I won't."

I took Ann back to the house and watched as she got her few things and left.

I went into my small office and got totally familiar with a bottle of Jim Bean, in fact too familiar. I was totally shitfaced when Maria came over to turn the lights off and found me dead to the world. She called Miguel and together they managed to get me in bed. They had not just become employees but close friends.

The next morning, I had a massive hangover but I had business to deal with, so I contacted my lawyer, Tom Smith, and put him on standby to officially start divorce proceedings against Ann. Tom asked if I wanted Ann served right away and I just said I don't know what I want but prepare the paperwork and deliver it to me. The papers I had been carrying around were bogus, meant to frighten Ann and they obviously had done the trick.

Finally, after several days, I called Ann and asked her to return to the ranch. "Eric, have you forgiven me? Can we work through this?"

"I'm trying to forgive, but it will be hard to forget, especially all of your lies, so you will have to earn my trust. I want you to come out to the ranch because I felt that bastard was probably still harassing you with phone calls. How many times has he called?"

"Almost every day, begging me to see him again. I always tell him it's over and to stop calling, but he doesn't seem to listen and exaggerates the sex we had."

Ann arrived about an hour later looking full of remorse, "Eric, I really need to talk to you and explain how all of this happened. I am so sorry for the hurt I have caused. I need to explain."

"Ok, do you want to go inside or go down by the lake?"

"I would love to sit by the lake once again. I had forgotten how beautiful this all is." By now it was almost midnight, but with the moon reflecting on the lake, the mood was magical.

Eric, the drug story was fabricated to lessen the damage to our marriage, I'm very sorry I lied. Everything I have told you since has been the truth but I never explained how it started."

"Ok, Ann, tell me what actually happened."

"I didn't know Jim until several weeks after I got the promotion. I was sitting in the coffee shop next to the bank, and he asked if he could sit down. I was angry with you because I had to attend these charity events on my own, although I know I had never properly told you how important it was to be accompanied and never asked you to go with me. I sensed you didn't want to go with me and thought you were more interested in the ranch than me. Then Jim volunteered to accompany me. He started being my escort, and we had a marvelous time but we didn't have sex right away. We had gone to several events, and he danced with me at all of them. He rubbed his hard cock against my stomach, and he felt enormous and finally, after a lot of wine, I accepted his invitation to go to his apartment. Naturally, we had sex which we continued until you mentioned divorce and that woke me up, and I didn't see him again until my retirement party."

"But Ann I am sure he called you all the time since then, so you didn't break up or stop the affair. Don't you see that?"

"Eric, please tell me what you want and what you want me to do."

I looked at her and then handed her the divorce paperwork, "sign these papers. I won't file them but if you give me cause I will, I'm tired of playing games. Here are my conditions: Jim needs some retribution, I'm not sure what but I will think about it. As for you, I want you to give me your cell phones, yes I know you have two. Secondly, you are to stay here at the ranch, if you need to go outside the ranch take Maria with you. Third, I want you to sleep in the guest bedroom till I can figure this out. You keep changing your story, and I need time to think about all your lies. You realize that your lies have just made everything worse?"

"I know and promise to do whatever you want." Without hesitating she signed the divorce paperwork and pushed it back to me.

"Ann, we will talk later, I'm not one to give up, and as you know, I will fight for what's mine. You are your own independent person, but you married me, so I intend to fight for you even if, in the end, we wind up getting a divorce. Please go to bed, and I will be back in about an hour because I need to talk to Miguel."

"Hola Miguel, Como Esta?"

"Esta Bien, gracias. What brings you to mi casa?"

"I need to talk to you about something very personal and want your opinion."

I gave Miguel the entire story, leaving nothing out, then he asked what I wanted to do. I wanted Jim Anderson to feel pain but wasn't sure how to go about it. Miguel offered to have some of his friends in Dallas rough Anderson up. I told him I would think about it, but that really wasn't what I wanted. I thanked Miguel for listening to my problems and started home.

Walking the half mile back to the house, in my mind, I went through several scenarios all involving my marriage to Ann. First, I still loved her, but was unable to trust her and wondered if we could get past her lies and infidelity to ever have a true marriage again. Could I stay married to someone I couldn't trust and was a serial liar? Ann had been intimate with Anderson for almost two years when she should have been only intimate with me and I just couldn't get that thought out of my head. Next I considered my options divorcing her. Texas is a no-fault state, and we would have to split everything 50/50. I would lose part of the ranch to Ann, and, in order to keep the ranch intact, I would have to buy her share. The ranch with all the oil revenue and livestock was now worth over 20 million. I couldn't raise half of that and borrowing that much would put me in debt forever. Stay married or divorce Ann and lose half of the ranch? The ranch had been in the family for over 100 years, and I be damned if I was going to give up even part of it. Also, could I live without Ann in my life? Would my life be better without her or better with her but knowing how she had betrayed our marriage for so long?

My only feasible option was to remain married to Ann although I realized we didn't have to live together to remain married, however, there was no way I was going to facilitate rekindling her affair with Anderson. She would stay with me, but not in my bed. Also, I would need some sort of retribution against Jim Anderson and then, Ann and I would have to work to rebuild our marriage. Also, I realized since I couldn't trust her she would have to kept on a tight leash.

The next morning, I could smell delicious smells permeating from the kitchen, and that's where I found Ann who was holding out a cup of coffee for me.

"Ann, I could get used to this. I've had too many burgers and microwave meals the past two years but sometimes Maria helps and comes over with a casserole. Have you given any thought to our conversation? Do you want to stay married to me or do you want a divorce?"

"Eric, I am so sorry for my mistakes these past two years. If I haven't already blown it, I want to stay married to you. I want to build our house we've always planned and see our grandchildren at the weekends. I know I haven't been a big part of the ranch the past two years, but I was for over 30 years. We both worked hard, and the ranch is what it is today because of all the hard work we put into it. This is where I belong, here with you, nobody else."

"Thank you, Ann, there is nobody that I would rather share my life with, and I was hoping that would be your answer. However, I'm still having issues forgiving you, and you must be patient with me but for now, let's eat because I'm starving."

We had a relaxing day and just stayed in the house and talked, but nothing was said about her affair or her lover.

After dinner, I led her to the master bedroom and undressed her. I sat back and admired her beauty after removing each article of clothing. She had changed little since the day we were married. "Eric, are you sure this is what you want?"

"Ann, I know we had sex a few days ago, but that was before I was aware of how much you were involved in your affair. This time, its husband and wife making love and I want this to be the first part of rebuilding our marriage. Are you ready?"

"Oh yes, this is what I have been dreaming about this. I am so ready."

We kissed for several minutes and then I moved down to her awesome breasts and made love to them paying extra attention to her hard nipples and then finally feasted on her vagina before moving on to her clit. I just sucked her entire clit between my lips and gave it a tongue bath. After only a couple of minutes Ann began to cum like a freight train then, because she is so sensitive after an orgasm I moved up and kissed her making sure she tasted her juices on my lips and tongue. By now I was hard as brick and lined up and entered her fully in one stroke. I pulled her feet up to her head and began thrusting all the way into her with long strokes, and by now Ann was thrusting back at me. We were in total unison, and I could feel my balls tightening and realized I would be cumming soon. "Where do you want my cum?"

"Inside me, cum inside me, I want to feel your hot cum." I was massaging her clit with my thumb and wanted her to cum with me. I felt it building up and then spasm after spasm rocked my body. I was able to maintain working Ann's clit, and she came soon after I did.

"Was that good for you?"

"Eric, that was incredible, and I know you want to ask if was as good as Jim and the answer is yes. We know what each other wants and you have never made me cum harder. Jim has never been better, just different."

We slept in each other's arms that night. During breakfast, Ann asked what I would like her to do. I said the vegetable garden was full of fresh vegetables, and maybe she and Maria could pick some for dinner. "Sounds good I'll take the ATV as soon as I clean up."

"Ann, I need to make a quick trip to Dallas today, do you need anything?"

"I was hoping you would take me to our Plano house this week. Since I'm moving here permanently, I need more clothes and personal things."

"Can I take you tomorrow or would you rather go with Maria this afternoon?"

"Tomorrow is fine, but I want you to go with me."

When we arrived at the house, I discovered the message machine full of messages from Jim Anderson. From the messages, I realized they continued to have sex right up until the night of the retirement party. Ann had lied again to me. How many times had she promised me no more lies?

I confronted Ann with my new-found information. Ann started mumbling, and when I told her I couldn't understand her, she spoke up. "We did have sex twice that week and the week before but Eric, everything else I have told you is the truth, I don't blame you for the way you must feel, and I am willing to accept whatever you decide. If you want to file the divorce paperwork, go ahead and I promise not to ask for a share of the ranch. I know you love that place more than life so I won't take part of it away from you."

"Ann, in a typical situation, I would divorce you in a heartbeat. However, I can't afford to divorce you, do you want a divorce?"

"No, Eric, I want to stay married to you. I know because of what I've done, I have no right to be in the same house as you, but I don't want to stay here on my own."

"I have tried to reconcile after each version of the truth you've shared. However, I don't think I can no longer do that even if I cared. How will I ever know when you are lying or telling the truth? You've got your car so you can go wherever your heart desires, go fuck him night and day if that is what you need. I won't stop you because I have nothing left. I have called Miguel to come and pick me up."

"Eric, I feel like a junkie, except it's not a drug I've been addicted to, it's been the sex. I have tried to stop seeing him countless times, but he has some sort of hold over me, I've no idea what it is. No, I've told you that I have gotten past him, no longer need what he has to offer, and hope to never see him again, so can I come back out to the ranch? I will stay with Miguel and Maria if you want."

"Ok you can come, but you aren't sleeping with me, you can go back to the guest bedroom. I will give you two years to sort yourself out and be the woman I married. If you lie, cheat, carry on a phone or texting affair, then we are finished and you're gone. Period, so don't even think of asking for a second chance or maybe would it be third, fourth, or fifth chance, I can't remember anymore."

"I will agree to anything as long as I don't have to stay in this house on my own."

"You have betrayed me, I can't begin to tell you how much it hurts now that I know you were withholding sex with me so that you could be pleasured by that bastard. I would never have done that to you, in fact, we have been married 35 years, and I have never cheated once. These past two years have been hard, and I have learned to use my hand, so I guess that's all the future holds for me. You had better get what you want together if you are following Miguel back to the ranch."

Miguel picked me up, and we were half-way to the ranch with Ann following us, when he noticed Ann's car pull off the road. I told him we had better go back and check. We found Ann bent over the steering wheel crying her heart out. I sat with her several minutes and finally told Miguel to go on back to the ranch. I moved Ann into the passenger seat and then drove her car back home. She never once stopped sobbing and I don't think she slept much that night because every time I checked she was still crying.

The next day I called the family doctor and explained the situation and he prescribed an anti-depressant medication for Ann. He didn't explain how long she would need it but agreed to work with her to sort out her problems.

The next two weeks found Ann and I tiptoeing around each other. We never spoke of Jim Anderson. She worked with Maria as often as possible and also helped in the horse barn. I had a mare almost ready to give birth and Ann began to stay with her night and day. This was the mare's first birthing and was having problems so finally, Ann convinced me to call our vet.

Ann, myself, and the vet spent the night with the mare. The labor was hard, and with the help of the vet, a foal was delivered early the next morning. She was very healthy and on her feet within minutes and became the second Appaloosa born at the ranch and I hoped there would be many more like her. I told Ann that since she had played a significant role in this birth that if she wanted the foal, she could become her horse to train and ride. Essentially, I just gave Ann a $25,000 horse, however, if not for Ann's vigilance we could have lost not only the foal but possibly the brood mare too.

Ann worked wherever she was needed on the ranch. She didn't have a problem working with the vaqueros, especially with the men who worked with the horses. Ann would often be found riding the fence line with the vaqueros or with Maria. She loved riding, and because it was critical to check the fences every day, Ann was often the first to volunteer. I made sure that whoever rode with Ann was armed and in contact with me. Ann and Maria became fast friends and often shared their work between them, including riding the fence lines. Ann's Spanish quickly became as good as mine and often that was the only language used on the ranch. As much as I didn't want to admit it but Ann was doing her share of the work and never backed down from a job. We were friendly around each other but nothing more. I think the medication really lifted her out of a dark depression as she was happy and outgoing with everyone and she never questioned or complained about her work.

We were ready to sell our house in Plano so I hired a moving firm to empty the contents of the Plano house into a storage container. I allowed Ann to decide what to keep and what to give away. She didn't want anything to remind her of her illicit affair so what she didn't want we donated to Goodwill. We then listed the house and it sold within a week. I was glad because we no longer had ties to Plano or Dallas. Our parents were all in an assisted care home and we tried to visit them at least once a week, usually, on Sunday.

Back on the ranch, the next 18 months were busy and we settled into a routine with Ann doing all the cooking and laundry. She always had a meal on the table at 6 PM every day. Ann never left the ranch unless accompanied by someone and even then, she didn't drive. She never complained, and I began to see Ann more and more back to the way she was before her promotion. I showed her the blueprints for the new house and asked for her comments. She was surprised that I asked for advice, but she finally told me what was missing and what we needed to change. All the changes made sense, so I had the architect make the alterations to the plans.

We watched the progress on the house daily, often while sharing a nice bottle of wine on a ridge that overlooked where the new house was being built, the house was in a grove of trees on a slight hill, overlooking the lake. The same location we envisioned all those years ago. By now we were laughing and joking with each other but still sleeping in separate beds.

Almost two years after Ann returned to the ranch, our new house was finally finished, and we started buying new furniture and getting the house ready to live in. The first night that we were to stay in the house, Ann came to me and said she didn't know where the sheets were for the bed in the guest room. I told her we didn't need them. She looked at me for several seconds before she understood what I was suggesting then it clicked. "Eric, are you telling me that we can sleep in the same bed again?"