Crack Addict Ch. 05

I'd been slumming for a few weeks after getting bailed out of jail by Claudia's dad. He was some high priced lawyer and she'd practically begged him to help me but at the cost of my pride and self-respect after being caught with a prostitute. After grilling me on whether or not I was in a relationship with his daughter, Maury gave me a verbal dress down. He'd asked me where I lived and when told of my Korea town digs, decided drop me off on the nearest street corner after another veiled threat about having anything to do with his daughter.

I assured Maury that his daughter wasn't my type I guess to his satisfaction because moments later I was eating the dust of his Lexus as he sped off into the night. I was pretty sure I'd never see my good friend Claudia again.

Then one Friday six months later, I got a call out of the blue.

"WHAAATS UP!!" She never waited for you to say hello. She thought yelling into the phone was funny for some reason.

"Claudia? Damn, I never thought I'd hear from you again."

"I figured my dad probably said something to piss you off and besides, a phone call goes both ways ya goon."

Turns out that she'd been seeing some accountant son of her mother's best friend or other and that things were getting pretty serious. I was truly happy for my little Jewish princess until she mentioned "returning the favor" she'd done when she'd had her father bail me out of the slammer and get the charges dropped. Seems her mother wanted things to remain rather "chaste" between Claudia and her beau going so far as to assign a chaperone on their outings together.

"So what am I supposed to do? Beat the guy up?" I was surprised when she started laughing and told me that I'd find myself back in the slammer if I beat up her cousin Bernadette.

Claudia explained that her wealthy parents rolled out her dumpy cousin to scare off potential suitors they deemed unworthy of her affections. My good friend was really into her current guy and was determined to fight fire with fire. Hence I received a virtual tap on the shoulder and was off into the night to Claudia's house.

Claudia lived in a two story condo downtown in the arts district and I'd finagled her indoor parking spot in exchange for "keeping her cousin busy" while the happy couple enjoyed the evening. Her condo had this really lived in east coast look with a lot of shelving and books which I later learned belonged to her boyfriend. She'd spent a month on my couch in-between apartments and I knew her to be an unrepentant slob as I viewed the various articles of clothing and half eaten take-out containers littering the hard wood floor.

"Thanks for everything, we've gotta go. Bernadette's entertaining herself in the den." She was dressed to the nines with a shimmering knee length black dress over her lanky frame and her beau a tall guy who somewhat resembled Greg Brady was dressed in a natty wool suit. He was taking her to see Wicked at the Pantages Theater all but yanked her out of the door giving me a slight whiff of jealousy. Whatever, I wondered if my good friend had let him in on my situation, my "Crack Addiction" as it were. I'd been barely going cold turkey the last six months keeping my fetish under wraps and self-medicating with Japanese frottage porn and honestly, Claudia's call had actually stopped me from returning to the hood to search for either Roxy or Coco and their huge, dusky bubble butts. In private, I spent a lot of time masturbating to porn and having mildly successful "dates" with a couple of non-descript women by my standards.

I opened the sliding double doors that led into the den to find Bernadette sitting in front of a large old-school projection television entertaining herself by playing Pong. Yeah, you heard it right ...Pong. There was an old school Atari 2600 jury rigged into the television console as I got my first look at Bernadette.

Viewed from the back as she sat on the couch all I could see was the back of her head and shoulders. She was definitely a larger woman but I couldn't tell if she was an actual BBW or some fat broad.

She had long ethnically curly brown hair that extended far below her shoulders and her upper torso was covered by a dull grey sweater.

"Can you speak or are you just gonna stand there burning holes in the back of my fucking head?" I was taken aback by her husky aggressive tone and felt foolish standing in the door watching the back of her head as she continued playing the primitive video game.

"Well excuse the fuck out of me ma'am; pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Have you?"

"What?"

"Have you made my acquaintance? Have you come in here like a true gentleman, introduced yourself and kissed my hand?" There was a calm, yet pushy tone in her voice and I immediately understood why Claudia wanted to ditch her for an evening alone. I didn't speak as I walked into the den getting a good look at her face for the first time. Under the unkempt mane of hair was a decidedly plain face with a prominent nose denoting her Jewish Heritage holding up really thick horn rimmed glasses. I also took notice of her somewhat thick lips and found myself wondering what they would feel like wrapped around my cock. Bernadette had a narrow elongated looking face that reminded of a female version of the Hansen brothers from an old Paul Newman movie called Slap Shot.

"So, I make the grade or what?"

"What? Oh sorry about that. I tend to zone out from time to time." I apologized as she focused on playing her game.

"You should see a doctor for that. Could be serious, I mean people drop dead all the time never knowing what fucking hit 'em. You could have a got-damn aneurysm for all you know. Hell you probably have high fucking blood pressure you know that? People of your ethnic persuasion have that problem cause of all the fried foods that you eat." She had caught me off guard with her strange rambling half-rant.

"People of my ethnic persuasion?" I was annoyed at her inference.

"You know-the colored folk...oh shit, I said something insensitive didn't I?" She had dropped the bulky controller putting her small hand up to her narrow face.

"Ya think?!!" I walked over to a little half bar in the room and began to pour myself a drink as she sat there pondering her careless words. I wasn't much of a drinker affording myself a taste only on the rarest of occasions. I'd made myself a screwdriver (Orange Juice and Vodka-Absolute with two fingers of juice for coloring and taste enhancement.) and it'd been smooth going down as I pondered whether or not I wanted to remain in the presence of this fast annoying cunt.

"Look brotha, I'm REALLY sorry about what I said. I'm kind of a got-damn spaz at times. I'm not trying to make, like a racial incident here or nothin." For the first time I think I noticed her thick east coast accent. She was staring me down something fierce from her seat on the couch and I noticed that she had a number of blankets draped across her lap. I just chalked it up to the weird nerdy vibe I was getting from Bernadette.

"It's okay SISTA; I agreed to be here didn't I?" I was already working on my third drink.

"I don't want to be a bother, but could you pour me a shot?" I obliged sloppily filling a shot glass and placing it on the counter. Strangely, she didn't move from her post on the couch staring at me expectantly.

"Sorry, no curb side service here." I said as smarmily as I could manage noticing the weird anxious look on her face.

"What a fucking gentleman you are. Oh well, might as well get this over with." I wasn't even looking at her as I poured myself a glass of Heineken. I heard her sigh very loudly and the ruffling of blankets as she stood up and walked across the hardwood floor.

I wasn't prepared for the sight of Bernadette as she cautiously walked towards me.

Bernadette was definitely a sight with what appeared to be a definitive pear shaped figure. I noted in those fleeting moments that from the top of her dorky heads to the furthest points of both of her wide hips formed a perfect triangle and I immediately reacted to the delectable sight in front of me. In seconds I was sporting a massive tent in my slacks and quickly turned away from Bernadette.

"Oh that's just great hon, gawk at the fat girl and turn away to laugh right? Well you don't have to stay partner, you can just go fuck ya-!!" I immediately interrupted her before she could finish cussing me out.

"Chill okay?!! It's not what you think lady!" I was already so hard my cock was touching the underside of the bar.

"Oh yeah, well why don't you tell me what the fuck it's like brotha? Tell me why you've got that stupid ass look on your face!! Even though I was turned on something fierce, this bitch was getting on my nerves to no end. I think it probably had something to do with the abrasive manner in which she spoke and her jersey accent so I decided to just troll Bernadette with the plain truth.

I simply turned by crotch in her direction giving her a good look at what I thought of her appearance. It looked like I had stuck a steel bar in my pants and I could even feel some pre-cum leaking from my shaft. Looking at her outrageously wide hips straining to burst free of the floor length blue jean skirt she was wearing was making my crotch throb.

"What are you-OOOHH MY!! I-uh well...Is that all you down there?" I smirked as her eyes became as wide as saucers and I figured that she'd be running to Claudia's bedroom and locking herself inside in moments. I'd pour myself another drink before heading home and calling it a night.

"Is all that down there, uh is all that because of me?" I just shook my head and continued smirking cock sure that she'd be heading for the hills. I had her pegged as some closet racist.

To my surprise she sided up to the bar and downed her shot taking her eyes off of my crotch only long enough to gesture for me to fill her glass. Bernadette quickly downed this shot as well.

"Look I don't want you to take this the wrong way but, well uh..." She was fumbling all over her words.

"Let me guess, you're flattered but you're not into black guys RIGHT?" I was checking my watch when she softly grabbed my forearm.

"NOOOO!! I just was gonna ask you if I could like-well if could like touch your cock." I did a double take when I heard this looking into her grey eyes.

"Are you serious? Are you fucking for REAL?!" I couldn't believe my ears.

"Listen buddy, I don't get much "action" as you can probably guess and I don't need you jerking me around okay?!!" While she was talking to me her left hand had lightly grazed my crotch sending shivers up my spine and causing me to blink profusely at the stimulation. Bernadette took this as a sign of consent adding more fingers into the fray. She began tugging and playing with me through my slacks as the condo became devoid of all sound except for her heavy breathing. Her dorky features did nothing for me but the woman was a maestro with her fingers rubbing my shaft and pinching the head of my cock sending jolts of sensual pleasure through my body.

"Do you like that brotha? You like how I touch your fat cock for ya huh?" I was nearly at the point of begging her to pull it out when Bernadette made a show of slowly tugging my zipper down revealing the wet mushroom head of my penis which was glistening and sticky with moisture.

"OOOOh yeah, you like that shit don't ya brotha? You want my hands on your big dick don't ya?" She'd wrapped her narrow fingers softly around the base of my shaft and began running them up and down with a very slight motion.

"Uh, you-you're very good at this Bernadette...real good if I say so myself." It was amazing how she knew how much pressure to apply and how little motion to use for maximum effect.

"Yeah, is that right? Well I've had a LOT of PRACTICE brotha! In fact I gave my first hand job to my cousin Harvey at his bat mitzvah when I was twelve and boy you should've seen the look on his fuckin' face. Thought we was gonna go all the damn way until I told 'em I didn't want no fuckin freak babies with em. You know you can get freakin mogoloids and freakin cloverleaf type babies when you cross the same fuckin DNA togetha!! Didn't you know that brotha?-Oh yeah look how hard ya cock is getting brotha!!"

Bernadette had moved closer to my right side and picked up the pace by tightening her grip on the middle of my shaft.

My cock had a lattice of tight veins all along its surface as she worked me hard and I was at a loss for words. I don't know how I managed it with all the stimulus and sweat running down my brow, but I managed to grab one of her butt cheeks and dig my fingers into its considerable girth.

"Imagine the chutzpah of him thinking he was gonna fuck me fuckin stoopid? Talking about letting him just put "IT" in a little and shit!! Freaking dregs of freakin humanity I tell ya!!" Honestly I wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up and jack my meat, but she was handling the old joystick famously. The cool air of the condo's air-conditioning was playing havoc with the neglected head of my cock as I squirmed a bit and attempted to hump her hand.

"OH YEEEAH, you like how I touch this fat cock eh? You like how I jerk your fuckin meat don't ya brotha? Look how you are trying to fuck my freaking palm brotha! Look at how you're trying to fuckin cum all over my soft hand!!" She was right about that. I wanted to blow my load all over her soft palm and the small, thin fingers that she was currently moving independently on my cock while jerking me off. The fucking woman was AMAZING!!

"You know, I could keep you like this all fuckin day if I wanted to brotha. One time I kept this freakin Mexican kid hard for like all of three hours until he was begging me to get him the fuck off! You should've seen the load I got outta him why don't ya brotha!! He was the son of the damn housekeeper!!

She got all bent outta shape just cause I supposedly had the NERVE to ask her to CLEAN the FUCKIN floor!! Well I told her something; I told her that SHE was PAID to CLEAN the fuckin house by my DAD!! I told her to fuckin think of it as fuckin JOB SECURITY!!" I couldn't believe that Bernadette was able to ramble on while still expertly manipulating my junk. I didn't want to be a dick by chalking her near constant yammering up as a trait of her ethnic background, but she was clearly making a case in that regards.

"What a got-damn Putz she was I tell ya!! I made her son fuckin happy and reporting me to the cops is the THANKS I get!! Dad ended up paying that bitch off after I let Carlos "SHTUP" ME and EVERYTHING!! Crazy as the day is long I tell ya!! ...He sure had a nice cock though, wasn't as thick and long as yours though brotha!!"

I'd considered telling her that she should offer complimentary hand jobs to all of her future suitors just for listening to her crazy rants, but didn't know how she would take it. She had removed all but three of her fingers from my shaft and I was wildly fucking her hand at this point while my other hand futilely tried to grope one of her humongous ass cheeks.

My single hand found that a daunting task as I couldn't reach low enough to grasp the bottom of her cheeks. Bernadette appeared to be a little over five seven and she seemed to have an extremely wide butt that was so thick it felt almost like cement. I was puzzled through my sexual haze as I could barely get my fingers into the flesh of Bernadette's hefty ass.

"Uh, huh-yeeeeah, tell me when you wanna cum alright?" This was all I needed to hear as I brought my other hand up tapping the small of her back as she immediately began jacking me as hard as she could. It was so painful and pleasurable at the same time that I began moaning loudly and running my hands through the thick knotted up hair on her head. Precum was flying from the head of my cock as she began twerking her hand in a blur on my cock.

"You gonna cum for me brotha?"

"Y-yeah!"

"You sure you gonna fuckin cum for me?" The wet sounds of her hand running up and down my cock filled the room.

"Ye-Yeah baby, I'm gonna shoot my load!!" Her amazing hand was making me an honest man and my eyes were fluttering from her vicious jacking.

"CUM FOR ME SHVATSA!!" I am ashamed to say that I understood the racial slur that exploded from her lips but was too far gone to care. Bernadette had quickly bent over capping the head of my cock between her lips and twirling her tongue on it while I blasted my seed into her throat. I'm even more embarrassed to say Bernadette had me screaming for my mother as she jerked me empty with the tips of her fingers while maintaining her vacuum seal on the head of my cock. My nerdy companion even opened her mouth to reveal the copious amounts of jizz left on her tongue before swallowing with a smile.

I was left breathing heavily as Bernadette motioned for me to fill her glass which I eagerly and generously did. I watched as she took a quick shot of bourbon as my curiosity peaked about Claudia's weird nerdy cousin.

"Did ya like that huh?"

"Yeah, it was uh, cool." I didn't want her to get a swelled head but any idiot would have known that she had just blown me away.

"Hey can I like, uh ask you another question?"

"Yeah as long as it's not fucked up and racist." I felt like I had to put a disclaimer on our conversation because Bernadette seemed to have no social filter what-so-ever and said practically everything that came to her crass little mind.

"Do you think we could you know, like uh hang out and stuff? You know kind of like in a social setting or some such gathering. I mean it's okay if you don't put yourself out there like that, you know with the other brothas around and stuff."

"What are you talking about Bernadette?"

"I'm just saying that it would be kind of nice if we could see each other on some other night when I'm not covering for my dumb cousin."

"What do you mean "covering for your dumb cousin" Bernadette?" Her statement threw me for a loop.

"Well you know what the fuck I'm talking about. You "know" right? We pull the chaperone bit every time Claudia dates somebody her parents don't approve of...get it?" I REALLY wasn't getting anything at this point.

"Here, she even left you ah note and everything." I watched as she fished a small envelope from her sweater pocket and handed it to me.

The note: Don't say I never did anything for you. Have fun schmuck. LMFAO!!

I face palmed realizing that my good buddy had set me up again. Bernadette was confused at my sudden laughter and drew her own conclusions.

"So, you're not my blind date after all?"

I just shook my head and winked at her. I watched her immediately turn beet red and start fanning herself as I poured her another shot. I have to admit I was a little heady from my own drinking habits that evening.

"WHAT-THE-FUCK?!! I am gonna fuckin KILL that SHIKSA!! Oh HELL she's got me over here suckin on some strange guy's BIG, BLACK COCK!! That fucking cunt!! That bony whore done made me look like a damn NAFKA why ya don't!!" She was ranting again and I'd had enough of her mouth. Well, as far as her talking about shit anyway.

Shut up Bernadette. Please shut the fuck up."

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!!" She was outraged and I decided to go for broke so I grabbed her arm and pulled her to me mashing my lips against hers. I think it was more because I was half drunk than anything else. Bernadette had to at least be as tipsy as I was and offered no resistance whatsoever.

"You like me?" She stammered after we played dueling tongues for moments and I was delighted that she wasn't a bad kisser at all. She had this way of yielding softly opening her mouth as my hungry tongue invaded and suddenly attacking back with her own.

I responded to her question by framing her face with my large hands and kissing her some more as she moaned into my mouth.