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Click hereKerila frowned deep in thought for a few minutes. "That's a question that Sherlinia could answer better than I could, My Empress. My instinctive answer would be yes. But only because I know Sherlinia so well. She doesn't give a damn about the political situation. Her only thoughts are what's best for you and the empire. We both know what the law says as to who can and can't sit on your throne. But the council created a line of emergency succession for a reason. If something were to happen to you and you were childless; the empire must still go on. First in line is Sherlinia, next is me, then Dominica. My gut says that Sherlinia would never put anyone near the throne if they weren't up to the job."
Lactivia nodded. "I think you're probably right, Kerila. But let's be safe and ask Sherlinia herself. Bob can you patch me through please."
When Sherlinia appeared on screen Lactivia said. "I need you and Craylyn here with me and Kerila for the next month or so. Explaining why would take far too long right now. So don't even bother asking. But I need your honest opinion about Dominica. Could she safely run the empire for that amount of time?"
"With certain restrictions, yes absolutely. Running the day to day operations she would be fine. However I think its best that any major changes or decisions be approved by you first. I can gather the whole council and you can order her to do that in front of them, then there'd be no dispute about your intentions."
"Okay, let me talk to her while you round everybody up." A minute or so later Dominica appeared on screen. "Hi Dominica, I'm sure you know by now that we've been given a whole mess of stuff by Cassandra and her husband to help make sure we can defend ourselves better next time. Most of its way beyond what our scientists can possibly understand right now. Cassandra has suggested that Kerila, Sherlinia. Greylyn and I spend some time here learning about some of these new gifts. When we get back we'll tell you all about them. In the meantime I need someone I can trust to handle things while we're gone. Can I trust you to keep my empire in good shape so that I won't have to worry about it until I get back?"
"Of course you can trust me to keep things running smoothly, My Empress."
"That's good, Dominica. I really appreciate your helping me out like this. Ah, I see the rest of the council has finally arrived. I have some very special orders for you Dominica. The four of us will be gone for about a month or so. In the interim you are only authorized to handle the everyday operations and situations. Any major situation or decision will still rest with me. If something happens that would normally require my personal attention, you are to contact me immediately in the presence of the entire remaining council. This is so that if I make a decision or a change; the entire council knows about it, and you'll have no problems implementing it. Do you understand your orders?"
"Yes of course, My Empress. I understand and will follow your orders to the letter."
"Very good, Dominica, Now if you and the council will excuse us, I have some things to handle with Sherlinia and Greylyn."
A few seconds later Sherlinia and Greylyn were shocked to find themselves standing in Bob's dining room. Lactivia waved her hand at the table. "Have a seat you two." As Lactivia stood she sent to Kerila, "stand and catch Greylyn when she passes out. I'll take care of Sherlinia" Once Kerila was in position, Lactivia spoke to Sherlinia and Greylyn. "I need the both of you to trust me completely for a few seconds. I promise that I will explain everything to you both in a minute or so."
She placed a hand on each of their foreheads and within ten seconds, both had fainted. Greylyn was surprised to find herself lying in Kerila's lap. She bolted upright and looked around in confusion. When Sherlinia came to, she sat up, looked around for a few seconds then laughed. She turned to Lactivia with a grin. "I don't believe it. You've figured it out, haven't you? I was wondering if it would happen to you. You're now a full fledged member of the Atlantian royalty. You have the same abilities as Lyssa and Jacobia now, don't you? Not only that, but you've found a way to pass some of those powers on to the three of us, haven't you?"
Lactivia's eyes widened with surprise and then she giggled. "Guilty as charged. There's a whole lot more to it than just that; but the short answer to all your questions is yes!"
Bob handed Sherlinia and Greylyn each a glass of ambrosia. "Lactivia has quite a tale to tell and it's gonna take her some time to get through it all. Sip this as she talks. It'll help clear your minds and let you understand things better."
Lactivia and Kerila held up their glasses. "Refills please," they said in unison and giggled. Lactivia slowly and carefully explained everything as she understood it; stopping occasionally to answer questions from Sherlinia or Greylyn. She finished up by saying, "I've already decided that some changes will need to be made when we get home. First off is that I'm changing my title from empress to queen. I like the sound of Queen Lactivia much better. Also the three of you are now my equals in that the four of us are a team so I'd appreciate it if you simply addressed me by my given name. Kerila already knows that I've appointed her as my defense minister. She will handle and advise me on all defensive matters. Sherlinia, you will be my minister of the interior. Your job will be to handle and advise me on all domestic matters.
Greylyn, you get stuck with the toughest job of all. You're now my minister of foreign affairs. Your responsibilities encompass anything that pertains to our relationships with other empires and species. You will appoint ambassadors. You'll have to build and staff embassies, advise me on treaties and alliances, guide me and help me decide the best way to settle disputes between our empire and others. That just scratches the surface of your duties, but I think you get the picture. I chose you specifically for this job because I know you can handle the many different challenges you'll be facing. Foreign relations are something that none of us have any experience dealing with. But you have a gift for creative thinking, the ability to think beyond the norm, outside of the box if you will. I realize that this isn't exactly a plum assignment. However, this can open up a whole new universe for us, and I really need your skills to help lead the way."
Greylyn shook her head as she laughed softly. "Are you kidding me, Lactivia? This is an absolutely perfect assignment! It's exactly the kind of job I was hoping for! Yes, it will be a challenge, and yes, it will test my skills to the max! But that's when I'm at my best. It's the kind of environment that I thrive in! Thank you for having so much faith in me; I promise you that I won't let you down!"
"Now that you've selected your guardians and given them their assignments, it's time you started learning what you'll all need to know," Bob interrupted. "Lyssa, Jacobia, Amy, Sue, and Kendra are here to teach you as much as they can in the time you have with them all. A month or so isn't that much time and you'll be surprised at how quickly it goes by. As you learn from them; you'll probably find that there are some things you need to help your empire adjust to all of this. When that happens talk to Persephone and her team. It's their job to help you with those kinds of things. In the meantime the rest of us have friends to mourn and honor. Then we have to find others to continue their work for them. It's not gonna be easy, because there's just nobody who can ever take their place."
TO BE CONTINUED...
The story has a good plot and is not too bad for a beginner, so keep up the hard work! Having said that: Minus 2 stars for the political ribbing to the president. Not everyone agrees on political views so it detracts from an otherwise good storyline. Minus 2 more for the erratic plot and timeline flow. It is like trying to follow a squirrel with ADHD most of the time.
Keep trying to improve though, and don't take this criticism to hard. I believe you have potential!
Unless your the writer and know the plot I guess it would be hard for you to know why and what direction he is taking the story. Stories are like life, there are good and bad situations that arise and you learn and build from it. Cant wait to see what you do in the next chapter. Still think Literotic needs to get rid of the anonymous tag and people have to own what they say instead of hiding behind a tag.
Interesting developments. With an eye to developing a conversation to provoke your thought processes and skill development I'm going to be a bit critical.
It's your story, but I find it hard to believe that a low-tech enemy could so easily appear and destroy as it did without it's approach being noticed given the characters involved and their earlier experiences. To lose ALL of the "native" Atlanteans (they just "happened" to be having a meeting at the time and the attack was too sudden to send them home or evacuate) and the lack of or if you prefer, "briefness" of Bob's reaction to the losses is another concern. All 3 of these aspects of this last chapter have the potential to be so much more involved, easily taking up several chapters and promoting your character development. The whole thing just seems too sudden and "slapped together" as if you had barely fleshed out your high-level plot outline and wanted to push out the chapter to meet a deadline instead of fully developing all parts of the story. The after-the-fact explanations of how this came to be are just...glaring, bare and unsatisfying.
From your earlier author's comments I understand that you are working on your skills. I think that this glossing over of details and the jump in time/situation are areas that you need to work on to provide a smoother transition and less of a jarring experience for your readers. I can understand your wanting the plot to go this way, but I think that by doing so, you need to provide more development to make it happen logically and smoothly. It's maybe more of an artistic way of looking at it or a skill maturity thing.
For example, having Bob lamenting over the lack of foresight for not having an early warning system for approaching spacecraft, particularly since the Atlanteans recently did the same thing. Bob having a breakdown of confidence or showing more grief for his losses of personal relationships...or were those relationships meaningless, gratuitous sexual encounters, both would be aspects to explain/develop and bolster the development of your story that I think would give it a fuller and mature feel.
I guess my mind is still seeing this chapter as a less than fully developed outline where you wanted to bring in another branch of Atlanteans and for some reason saw a need to wipe out the "native" ones.
This may be harsh criticism, but please consider this as more of an encouragement to do better. You truly do have some great potential and I'd love to see more of your work as you progress and develop your skills. I guess I just expect more from you than what this last chapter displayed.
Best wishes for your future efforts.
I loved this latest instalment. I’m so glad your back I thought it was over I’m so happy to be wrong please keep them coming.