Cross My Heart

Kelly leaned her head back against the airplane headrest and closed her eyes. They were going through turbulence again. Over the next ten bumpy minutes she made deals with God.I'll stop biting my nails. I'll call my mother once a week for the rest of her life. I promise to never ask for water and then get pop at a fast-food restaurant again. One of them must have worked because instead of plummeting to the ground she soon saw a patchwork of subdivisions out her window—a telltale sign that they were nearing the Youngstown County Airport. From high above the clouds it looked like nothing had changed. Chances were that nothing had.

Funny how the qualities she'd once despised were now the ones she looked forward to. For the past four years Seattle had been home.I have a life there. A solid client base. And good friends. So why in the heck am I coming back here?

Months earlier Kelly had started feeling restless. Day trips to Canada, Oregon...they weren't squelching the urge. A week ago while chatting with her brother, she'd announced her plans to visit home. Kurt seemed surprised. Needless to say, Kelly had been too. Until the idea was past her lips it hadn't even crossed her mind. Of course going home—if you could call it that—would fix her problem. All she needed was a reminder of why she had left Youngstown, and then Seattle would regain its splendor.

As the plane began its descent Kelly crossed her fingers—this better work.

***

"Man, I am so lucky. I forgot all about tonight being me and Beck's anniversary and if my secretary hadn't saved my ass by making some quick dinner reservations I wouldn't be able to walk for the next couple months."

Grant frowned, "Becky's not the violent type, buddy. I don't think she would come after your spine with a baseball bat."

"No," Kurt agreed, stopping to pose thoughtfully for a second, "But she would banish me to the couch. Which reminds me..." Veering off from the path he'd been making to the bedroom for a tie, Kurt grabbed a pen and paper from the kitchen. He spoke as he wrote. "Buy...new...couch...but consult...Becky...first..."

"Wow man, you are seriously whipped." Grant propped his feet on the coffee table, hands behind his head.I'm sure glad I don't have to deal with a woman running my life. Bachelorhood...that's what it's all about. But even as he thought the words, a piece of him wasn't quite convinced.

"Yeah, I am, aren't I?" Kurt looked giddy at the realization. With a glance at Grant's feet he motioned for them to return to the floor. Obviously a rule implemented by Kurt's wife.Curse the X chromosome! Grant chuckled at his own joke, and was going to let Kurt in on it when his long-time friend thrust a hand into the doorframe. "Red tie or blue?"

"Blue," Grant called out. Heck, if you can't beat them, might as well cooperate.

"You know," Kurt began, coming out of the door staring down at his lopsided tie, "It wouldn't hurt you to start looking for someone, you know?"

"Whatever," Grant muttered dismissively. With a sigh he stood up and reached over to fix Kurt's tie. "You're so nervous you can't even make a knot in a piece of cheap silk. No offense but that's something I could live without."

Done, he took a step back and admired his handy work. He was definitely better off without women. Women wanted romance, stability, and long-term commitments . Grant was only good at the first of the three. There was a time, once...when he'd allowed himself to believe he might be able to find "true happiness." The kind that came with a wife, two-point-five kids, and a mangy mutt that the whole family loves.

Kurt clapped Grant on the shoulder, shaking him out of his thoughts. If Grant hadn't already known what was coming, the worried eyes and furrowed brow would've tipped him off right away. "It's been a long time since Olivia, man. Seeing other people helps the healing process."

A harsh laugh ripped from Grant's mouth. "I'm pretty sure that one stipulation of me remaining friends with a Shrink was that you never get to psycho-analyze me." He let that sink in before jabbing an accusing finger at Kurt. "And you know damn well that I see other people so don't give me shit about not being over Olivia. We both know that's bull."

Hands up in surrender Kurt backed up a couple steps to retrieve his suit coat. "Fine, don't listen to me. But screwing your, quote,lady-friend, twice a week doesn't count. Go find someone you can relate to. Someone you actuallylike."

Grant's retort was on the tip of his tongue when Kurt went rigid. "Damn! Dammit all to hell!" He turned to Grant, eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You wouldn't happen to be free tonight, would you?"

"Aw gee, Kurt. You know I like you 'n all, so it's nothin' personal, but..." Grant shrugged innocently, "The last middle-aged guy I let take me out was a prick—just out for the sex."

"Eat shit, Hensen."

"Now is that any way to talk to someone you need a favor from?" Grant pulled out a nearby barstool and straddled it, elbows resting on the back. "But seriously, what did you have in mind?"

"Kelly got into town this afternoon and I told her I'd meet her atGratzitonight for dinner. With the whole anniversary mix-up it completely slipped my mind. So, whaddya say...will you go in my place?"

That wasn't what Grant was expecting. A whack-job client. Kurt's mother. He could've handled that. Taking a deep breath he met Kurt's gaze. The hope he saw in his friend's eyes made it hard to lie. "Gratzi? That's pretty upscale..." Instead of sounding determined not to go, his excuse came out like a little kid whining about having to take out the trash.

Kurt convinced people to do things (like to stop re-arranging items on their desk) for a living. When he saw a window—no matter how small—he was all over it. "I'll pay the tab. You're already dressed perfect with the shirt and tie. And oh, look, you have just enough time to get across town in time to make the reservation."

"Kurt...you know I'd do anything for you, but come on, don't you think it might be a tad bit awkward? Last time I talked to Kelly was on graduation day. Not as a family friend. As her senior English teacher."

Kurt nodded, obviously not seeing anything wrong with the situation in question. "Yeah, so? You're my best friend. I'm sure you can think of something to say to Kel. If you get stuck, just tell her why you gave her an A-. I know she's always been sore about that."

Then Kurt snatched his car keys off the counter and motioned to the door. Reluctantly Grant followed, knowing that he wouldn't back out on dinner with Kelly. How could he when he honestly had nothing else to do? He was already two weeks ahead with lesson plans. Watching another night of reality TV might make him commit suicide. So why not? A nice dinner that he wasn't paying for was worth the awkwardness, right?

As they approached the parking lot Kurt headed toward his car, only stopping to throw Grant a thumbs-up before sliding into his car.Well0Grant thought ruefully, dreading the next couple hours,at least one of us will be getting lucky tonight.

***

Kelly sipped at the wine she'd ordered. It wasn't her favorite kind.Gratzididn't even carry that brand.Just another pro for living in Seattle. "Right up there with people knowing how to be punctual," she muttered to herself. She'd been ten minutes early. Kurt was running ten minutes late. Five more minutes and she was calling his cell.

The front door opened and Kelly cast a glance over her shoulder. It wasn't Kurt. The man's shoulders were too broad, his hair too dark, and the physique was all wrong. Kelly chuckled to herself remembering her lanky brother during his teenage years. Such a goof. A goof that needed to buy a watch. She tapped out a rhythm with the spoon.

Within seconds a shadow fell upon the table and a waiter made a swooping gesture with his arm. "Your dinner companion, Madam. Can I get you something to drink, Sir?"

It was him. The man who she'd seen come in. The one whowasn'tKurt. She'd called him Henny as a kid; Mr. Hensen as a high school student. And now her jaw merely went slack at the sight of him sitting down across from her.

"Yes please, I'll have what she's having." His tone was light and friendly with the waiter. When the man walked away it was a different story. Shoulders tensed, eyebrows knitted together, and lips tightened into nothing more than a slash on an otherwise gorgeous face.

It looked as if he wouldn't talk until it was ski season in Hell, so Kelly took control. She liked being in control. That's why she had left Youngstown in the first place. Too much chaos. "So Kurt, you've sure changed. You and Grant get a face-plant?"

His adam's apple bobbed twice, proof that he was at leasttryingto speak. "Kurt wanted to come, Kelly. However, something came up so I was sent in his place."

"Quite a replacement too. Couldn't think of anyone I'd rather be sitting across from, in fact." Her tone was ice cold.

"Look," his usually warm brown eyes grew dark. "I don't like the situation any more than you do, okay? That said, do you think we could just be civil? For Kurt's sake?"

Kelly had her doubts about whether his request was even possible. Ever since Kurt and Grant became friends back in junior high, Kelly had seen Grant Hensen as competition. Mainly for Kurt's time. Before he came along she and Kurt were inseparable. Together they got threw having a crazy mom and a dad who worked too often. Then she'd gotten dropped for the new boy in town—Grant. All of a sudden making forts in the woods behind their house wasn't "cool." Hanging out with Grant at the baseball field—a boys only zone, apparently—was.

Past anger bubbling up, Kelly stuck her tongue out. Even as she did it she knew how childish it must look. A grown woman making a gesture associated with immature kids. But she couldn't help it. It was Grant's fault.

"You have got to be kidding me." Tongue in cheek Grant leaned his elbows on the table. "For Christ's sake Kelly. It was an A minus!" An unattractive vain appeared near Grant's temple. "If I'd known how much grief that stupid hyphen would cause me I would have given you your damn A."

Her jaw dropped. "You think I'm still angry aboutthat?"

"Pftt, obviously!" But his tone isn't quite so harsh. He isn't quite so sure anymore. Then after a silent second that feels almost like a break in the anger that was rising in both of them, he sits back. "I've never done anything else to piss you off."

A snide remark was ready to be fired. But the waiter came at the same time Kelly opened her mouth. Grant received his wine and they order. She chooses the chicken alfredo and Grant orders a steak. Much as she'd hoped, he didn't order it rare, but in fact asks for well done. If he ate his steaks rare it would be easier to hate him.

That had always pissed Kelly off the most; her inability to truly hate Grant. Sure he took Kurt's attention away from her, and hehadgiven her an A- unfairly. But a part of her had always admired him. Grant was confident, well-liked, and his ambition never ceased to amaze her. The man had a gift for writing. TheNew York Timesaccepted his application. Yet he was here in Youngstown teaching twelfth graders Brit. Lit. Amazing. And annoying as hell.

Did the man not have a selfish bone in his incredible body?Strike two! He had a good body. And if anything it was better now—at 32—than it had been back when he was 24. Anybody who looked better past thirty deserved to be despised.

"I'm waiting, you know?" He had the audacity to grin when she blinked out from thought. "What did I do that was so horrible?"

"You stole my brother." She hated how vulnerable she sounded. She'd meant to sound mad so that he would go on the defense. Instead his eyes softened.

"What do you mean?"

Maybe she'd had too much wine. Maybe secretly she needed someone to talk to and Grant was offering. But most likely there was something in Youngstown's air. Something that made Kelly forget why Grant was the enemy. And all of a sudden everything came tumbling out.

***

"I've never been in an airplane."

"What?!" The look on Kelly's face made it seem like he'd just said "I keep dead people in my basement." "Never?" Grant shook his head leisurely, amused by how skeptical she was. "But...why?"

Pride made him consider fibbing. That, however, would defeat the purpose of their little game. Lying would be lame. Especially since Kelly had laid it all down over dinner. Finally there was a reason for her always being so chilly toward him. At first he'd wanted to denystealingKurt. He wanted to point out that they would've drifted apart even if he hadn't been in the picture. But as true as that was, he knew it wasn't the point. From Kelly's point of view hehadcome between she and Kurt.

Sympathy welled up in his chest as he pictured the wounded heart of a little girl. Somehow apologizing didn't seem like enough. So after their meal he'd asked her out for drinks. Completely platonic, of course. Alcohol just felt like the right thing to offer. Besides, Grant enjoyed talking with Kelly. She was intelligent; so full of life. As a twelfth grader she'd been extremely perceptive. The questions she'd ask in class and the content of her essays spoke of an understanding of life that went beyond most her age. Maybe even beyond his own.

That, along with the fact that he promised Kurt to show Kelly a good time, was why he hadn't bolted as soon as dinner was over. It had nothing to do with the C-shaped dimple that appeared whenever Kelly smiled. Nor was it the depth in her eyes when they were focused on him.

The way they were now. "Is it because of your dad?"

Her question hit Grant like a punch to the gut. His father died just before he and his mother moved to Youngstown. People didn't usually ask questions about Michael Hensen. Grant liked it that way. And even though he and Kelly were playing a game somewhere between "Truth" and "I've never...", that didn't mean he would open up about his father. He got control of his emotions and gave a sharp nod before knocking back the last of his beer. "Yeah, that's probably it. Your turn."

He watched Kelly swirl her Long Island iced tea in its glass. A couple times she gave him a sidelong glance, seemed to blush, and looked away. "Come on, Kelly, you're the one who wanted to spill secrets to one another. Don't hold back on me now."

"Fine." Her light blue eyes focused on something straight ahead. "I had a crush on you."

Even though it was dark in the bar, Grant could see a blush take over Kelly's cheeks. It was such a rare occurrence that he had to take full advantage. "This must've been serious if you're turning all red. Tell me, what were our kids' names? Did we have a dog named Max and a cute little house in the suburbs?"

If possible she grew an even darker shade of red. And now she looked embarrassedanduncomfortable.

Grant didn't want her to feel embarrassed. He didn't think what she confessed was stupid. In fact he was flattered. Sure she'd been a little girl at the time, but that girl had grown to be a remarkable person. "Look, Kel, I was just teasing you. Kids get crushes on their siblings friend's a lot. No big deal." He dipped his head in an attempt to catch her gaze. It worked. But instead of smiling she had a defiant look in her eyes.

"I wasn'ta kid. Not really anyway. It was mainly senior year."

Grant was still picturing Kelly as a senior—popular enough but always a little awkward, her clothing always testing the limits of the dress code—when she continued. "I mean, as a kid I didn't realize what I had was a crush. I just idolized you and Kurt. Then one day Mary Kegel was talking about guys she liked from school. I made a joke about how I would kill for you to look my way. I meant it as a joke, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it was true..."

As her spiel came to an end, her confidence started to wane. Since her third Long Island was long gone, Grant made two decisions. One: Kelly had merely had a bout of Dutch Courage, and probably hadn't really wanted him to know about her past crush on him. Two: it was time to get her back to her hotel.

Surprisingly she didn't argue when he suggested that they leave. There was no denying the change in Kelly's attitude, though. It was like the past few hours hadn't happened. They were right back to the beginning where she was ready to give him a verbal kick to the balls any time he so much as looked at her. And that's exactly what he wanted to do. He took notice of the choppy shoulder-length blonde hair and her full lower lip. She really was pretty.

For some reason the fact that Kelly Lewitt might be attractive had never really crossed his mind. Sure he'd noticed her change from being a scrawny tomboy to an eighteen-year-old woman. At least, he thought he had. Now he wasn't so sure. The only thing he could say for sure was that he knew when he'd gotten back from college she was taller.

Wasn't until now that he noticed everything else. The way the material of her black dress clung nicely to her chest; how long her toned legs were; how they would feel wrapped around his naked waist as he slid...

Shit, what in the hell am I thinking? She's your best friend's kid sister. An ex-student. God, I'm a friggen' pervert. I need a more active sex-life.

Turning into the parking lot of the local Holiday Inn, Grant let out a sigh of relief. All he had to do was get Kelly up to her room. Then he could call up Rachel, go over to her place and release some sexual tension. Once that happened he could stop thinking crazy thoughts. Ones that he would regret later.

--

Kelly fast-walked down the hotel's long hallway. She resented the hell out of Grant right now. Hated that he insisted on seeing her to her door. Hated that he hadn't responded to her confession in the bar atall. And mostly she hated the way his arm came out to steady her when she tripped. "I'm fine," she snapped, wishing that he would just go away.

Why couldn't he just be irresponsible for once?

She slowed when they reached her door. "Look I made it here safe—all in one piece. Satisfied now?"

Kelly noticed something different in Grant's gaze. Sometime between getting out of the car and now he had loosened his tie and rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. His brown eyes looked at her warmly. "It isn't the way you think, Kel."

"What do you mean?"Whoa, was that my voice?It had been breathy, husky...almost seductive.

"I never noticed you because of circumstances. Not necessarily because I wouldn't have liked what I saw." His brows knitted together with concern. "Am I making any sense?"

He's adorable. "Grant, I didn't tell you that I had a crush on you to make you feel guilty. You were a teacher and I was a student. Frankly I would be a little creeped out if youhadlusted after me the way I had you."

Grant tipped his head to the side, curious. "What exactly do you mean by you "lusted after me"?"

Kelly expected him to be disapproving. Instead she thought she detected a hint of interest. Courage from God only knows where seeped into her veins, and she tried to emulate a cocky smirk. "You know, I would sit in class while we were reading a play and imagine coming in after school for some extra credit. You'd lean in real close over my shoulder. I wouldn't be able to concentrate, and when I turned my head toward you our eyes would meet and you would..." she trailed off, realizing how ridiculous it all sounded.

She half-expected Grant to burst out laughing. In reality he was silent. His brown eyes bore into hers. Feeling naked under his gaze, Kelly shuddered. Then, slowly, Grant closed the distance between them and rested his hand on the door behind her—directly above her shoulder. "And then I wouldwhat?"