Crucifix: Longing Ch. 01

"Yes, sir?" Erin hated taking tests. Hated having to prove that she wasn't an idiot. She wasn't stupid, but it was just so difficult for her. And tests drove her nuts.

His voice was soft and kind, "Are you going to finish your test?"

"Uh, yes, sir. Eventually. Maybe?" Erin stared at the blue book in front of her, waiting for some type of epiphany to occur. {Shit! Damn! Erin, you are so fucking stupid}

James really liked Erin Durant and watching her struggle tore at his heart. No, on second thought, he didn't like her. No, no. James Richmond, once divorced, was utterly smitten with the statuesque ballerina who was taking his class because it fit into her schedule and because the class wasn't filled to capacity.

Why, he'd even gone to see her perform in the Atlanta Ballet's 'Sleeping Beauty'. Though she wasn't a lead, she was so beautiful. "Erin," he stood and approached her, "if you were lost, why didn't you just ask me for help?"

"Lost, me? I...uh...ok, I'm totally lost." Tears started to form in her eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just that, I've had a terrible week. God! I'm sorry." Erin got up and dashed down the hall to the ladies room. When she collected herself and stepped back out into the hall, Erin was more than a little shocked to see Professor Richmond sitting on the couch across from the restrooms. {What? Good grief. Damn.} "Sorry, Professor Richmond."

When he stood up Erin suddenly felt very small, which was odd, because she wasn't short. She also felt somewhat underdressed in her mini-skirt and tank top. Funny, she was never nervous about how she looked before. Then, when she looked up into his eyes, she saw him looking back at her with his intoxicatingly deep brown, almost black, eyes, and her heart started to race. {Jesus, he is so good looking.}

James Richmond glanced around and said, "Miss Durant. Erin." He ran his hands through his hair and continued, "Do you want to try and finish your test?"

Erin's heart sank, "Yeah, I guess so."

James directed her back down the hall to the small classroom. "Relax, Erin. It's not like I'm going to fail you or something." He cleared his throat, "I mean it's just one test. That...that's what I mean."

Erin slunk back down into her seat and picked up her pen. She wished she was anywhere but there. She just knew that Professor Richmond thought she was stupid. {Goddamn, Erin. Why'd you take this class? You're a fucking dip!} She stared at the bluebook. Erin could feel Professor Richmond standing behind her and she could barely hold her pen. {Shit!}

When she felt his hands on her shoulders, she jumped, but only slightly. Erin closed her eyes and let go of the cheap writing utensil she'd been cursing ever since she saw the first question. He massaged her tense shoulders and it felt so good. His hands were so strong but very tender.

James could feel her tension melt away beneath his gentle kneading. He didn't mean to do it. She just looked so tired, so worn. He wanted to comfort her. But he knew the moment he placed his hands on her that he'd crossed the line. It was one thing to think of touching her, it was an altogether different thing to actually have her skin beneath his hands.

James could feel himself growing hard as he moved his hands across her soft, smooth flesh. And when Erin tilted her head back, completely awash in his comforting touch, he was certain that he couldn't turn back. And even if he could, he wasn't sure he would want to.

It was so wrong. God, she was his student and she was so young; but, something about just being around her made him feel so alive. He'd not been so eager to go to teach in God only knows how long. The thought of her looking up at him with that beautiful face made him 'want' to teach. James knelt and kissed her neck then heard a soft moan fall from her lips. That was it. He had to have her. Had to feel her skin on his. Had to feel her lips against his. Had to feel himself inside her.

Erin wanted him, too. She turned in her seat and looked into his deep eyes. She'd been watching him for the past five weeks, every Tuesday and Thursday, for an hour and a half. And he was so amazingly smart, it scared her. But for some reason, Erin was drawn to him like a fly to sugar.

James pulled her up to him and laughed just slightly as the bluebook she'd been so desperate to fill with something, anything, fell to the floor. He looked into her eyes and came so close to her, he could feel the heat radiating from her body. "Erin, I...uh...I...God, you're so beautiful. I want you. I...I know it's wrong, but, dear God, I want you."

Erin didn't say a word she just closed her eyes as he put his lips to hers. They were so warm, so inviting. She felt safe with him. Her lips parted allowing him to taste her. Erin savored the taste of him and felt her arms sliding up around him, almost as if by instinct.

She felt him lift her with such ease, much like Baker, principle male dancer with the company, would pick her up. Only James didn't intend to set her lightly down and watch her pirouette away.

As he moved with her, he could feel her tugging at his shirt and slacks and knew she was literally searching for a way to get into his pants. He didn't want to wait to get to the floor. He pressed Erin up against the wall and felt her cool, slim hand take his cock. A very pleasant chill raced down his back.

He was fraught to get into her. Like his very life depended upon it. James could barely catch his breath as their tongues played with one another and his hands searched her body for a way to get her shirt off.

Erin understood his wanton anguish completely and felt it herself. The tension she'd built up during the test and his comforting hands had released something within her. It was something deeper than just wanting to have sex. She needed to have him. She lifted her arms and the snug fitting tank-top she wore came up over her head and could see the joy in James' eyes when her breasts came into view.

James put his lips on her breasts and couldn't believe how very soft they were, how firm, how round. They weren't large, but definitely enough to fill a man's desires. His mind flew to his ex-wife, Denise. She was pretty, but damn, she was nothing compared to Erin. Nothing. James wanted to melt into her.

Erin felt him pull her skirt up and started to search for her panties. She smiled and started to blush. "They make panty lines...I hate them."

He looked up and grinned, "Dear God, thank you." James felt her leg wrap around his and he put one hand down beneath her tight, smooth ass and lifted her. She slid onto him with such fluidity he was overwhelmed with the sensation and lost his breath. "Damn, yes. Erin..." He kissed her and pushed into her, pinning her solidly between his body and the wall.

She immediately felt a surge of passion and lust and unbridled sexual desire flood her senses. Her other leg wrapped around him and she started to forcefully rock her hips into his; struggling to get him deeper within her. Erin closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. {God, yes. This is unbelievable} And she was positioned in such a way so that he rubbed directly and forcefully on her swollen clit with every thrust. Erin held onto him for dear life.

She could feel the sweat building up beneath his shirt and wanted to feel his skin. Erin slid her hands down the soft cottony material and then back up, beneath it. She could feel his sweat on her fingers as she ran her hands up and down his back.

James was in heaven and was aware of a mind-boggling sense of euphoria building up within him. He kissed Erin's neck and ear and then whispered, "Erin, God, I can't hold off much longer." He wanted to cry knowing that it would soon end, and when she lifted her head and looked up at him with those haunting golden eyes of hers, he winced. It would soon end.

Erin kissed him so deeply and with such abandon, she started to lose herself. Her hips started to rock harder, more fervently and she whispered, "Now, now." That was it. She felt him start to pound into her so powerfully it actually hurt her back. And she didn't even care. The pain, coupled with the intense pleasure, only added to the sensation. She felt herself explode and she dug her nails into his back to ride out the wave.

James couldn't hold it any longer and her clawing his back brought out the animal nature in him. He slammed her into that wall so powerfully and he didn't really care. James felt his darker side emerge from the depths of his soul to claim her and he wanted, nay, needed to make her his. He came with such force, he was practically blinded. But, if one had to be forced to a life of darkened days, the figured the light he saw at that one moment in time was well worth a lifetime of nightfall. ....................

******

.................... "Erin, please wake up. Mama's here. Please."

Erin's eyes flew open. She stared at her mother and thought how odd it was that she was in her bedroom. {Aren't you supposed to be at the beach? Where's Dad?} Erin tried to sit, but couldn't summon the strength. {What the...?} "Mom?" Her voice was so raspy. She looked down and saw a cast on her arm. Further investigation let her know that her she was in a hospital room. She whispered, "Mom, what's going on?"

"God, baby, Erin." Her mother showered her with kisses. "You're awake. Thank God." Chaselyn Durant looked at her youngest daughter, "Baby, you were in a car accident. Don't you remember?"

Erin looked into her mother's weary brown eyes and tried to comprehend what was going on. She heard her father's voice. "Here you go Lyn, two sugars." Merle Durant handed his wife her coffee and kissed his daughter, "Hey, Sweetie, I'm so glad you're awake."

Slowly, like someone watching light dance across the surface of water of water being unhurriedly drawn from a deep well, the realization of what her mother said came to her ....................

******

.................... The darkness of the night was interrupted by rhythmic flashes of muted light from the tall poles that dotted the always busy roadway along the I-85 corridor in Atlanta. James sat in the back of the black Tahoe with Erin by his side. She was wearing a short skirt and a tank top, just like that first time.

Only this time he knew she had nothing on underneath and it was making him insane. He could tell that Karen had fallen asleep and saw that Randy kept darting his eyes up into the rearview mirror, hoping to steal a glance at something, anything, that might be going on. James leaned over to her and whispered, "God, I want you."

Erin grinned at him and unfastened her seatbelt. She slid closer and took his hand. "Shhh...." She slid his hand between her legs and let him feel how wet she was. She watched him close his eyes and lean back into the seat. She was torturing him. It was fun. She draped her right leg across his lap and whispered, "I want you, too."

He looked down at her and could see the base of her firm little butt peaking out from beneath her designer skirt. And she very slightly shifted her hips back and forth against his leg. It was just enough so he could feel the subtle pressure. James slid two fingers deep within her and started to move them just as slowly as she moved her hips. "James," Erin whispered as she put her hand on his zipper and slowly tugged, "fill me up with you." She nuzzled his neck and kissed him, "Please."

"Jesus, Erin." James slid a third finger deeper in her and could feel that she was getting wetter with every passing moment. And her rocking became more deliberate. His fingers would not suffice for either of them. He wanted his cock to slide into her so badly. James withdrew his hand and couldn't get her on top of him fast enough. He unfastened his seatbelt and reached for her.

James lifted her and placed her on him, impaling her, for all intents and purposes, and James didn't care if Randy saw. And he knew Randy would look, too. Thank God, Karen was still asleep because he knew that Erin would have never been so forward nor would she have let him fuck her right there where they could be seen. Erin held her sister's regard in high esteem and wouldn't dare do anything to offend her. Yes, thank God, Karen was asleep. James was so hungry for Erin.

Erin felt him slide into her the way he always did, so hard, so thick, so deep, and she felt a jolt of energy surge through her. She rested her head on his shoulder and started to rock her hips into him. All those years of dancing had given her an amazing ability to shift the weight in her midsection and she knew exactly how much pressure to apply so that the both of them could feel amazingly good.

James had been so hard, so wound up thinking of her, he wanted to slam himself into her. But she wouldn't let him. Every time James would start to press up into her, Erin would lift herself up so he couldn't get the pleasure he was seeking. "Erin, please let me."

"No." She grinned, "I want you to savor it, baby. Just sit back."

"Yes, Erin, whatever you say, yes." James loved it. He reached up with his left hand and grabbed the handhold above the door. He placed his other hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her down on him. He felt her start to rock a bit faster. He whispered, "Yes, Erin. God, that feels so good." He inhaled deeply.

Erin turned slightly to see if Randy had his eyes on the road. But he didn't. She could see him glancing into the rearview mirror much more than he needed to. Erin smiled. {Watch this, Randy.} She turned and whispered, "James, fill me. Please." Erin started to rock so fast she knew that James wouldn't be able to keep from going off inside her like some crazed madman.

James took his hand from the grip and it automatically went to her shoulder so as to compliment his other hand on her shoulder. He pushed her down on him with great force, "Yes, Baby, yes." He started to slam himself up into her with such vigor he was sure he'd explode in her in seconds. But no, he held on to it, pushed himself to the very edge and hovered there. He kept pounding her. {Amazing, absolutely amazing.}

And Randy was watching them. Well, as much as he dared. It had started to rain and he had to focus on the road. But he could hear them. He listened to Erin's high pitched little gasping moans and to James' low deep grunts. Randy got so hard. He glanced over at Karen and then back into the rearview mirror.

Randy shifted in the seat and then had to unzip his pants. He simply had to. They were hurting him. He slid his hand inside and started to stroke himself. {Jesus, oh God, this is so crazy. But, damn. Damn} He could see James' hands on Erin's back and could see her rising and falling. Then he heard James inhale deeply and Erin's moaning become more intense and much longer in duration. He knew they were climaxing together. And Randy wanted to bring himself to it as well, but knew he shouldn't or rather, couldn't. It was so dangerous. But, God Almighty, it felt good.

James felt the road change beneath the tires as the car exited the interstate. And he gritted his teeth so that he could be quiet and focus on Erin. He loved to watch her, especially when she was trying to be quiet as well. He knew it killed her. He knew she wanted to scream her head off. But she wouldn't, not there. Not when Karen could hear. But James knew she would think it was hotter knowing that Randy could hear.

James could see the look of ecstasy on Erin's face. And he could feel her muscles tightening around him. It was amazing. It made his orgasm so much better. He pumped her full of him. Soon, they'd be married. But not soon enough for him, he would have gone right then, at that exact moment, and married her; but, she wanted the whole 'white wedding thing' and he wasn't about to deny her.

As Erin's orgasm started to wane, she felt a sense of calm overtake her. And only James could bring that in her. "I love you, Jamie. Thank you." Erin kissed him, "I love you so much." She reluctantly lifted herself from him and smiled as James as he handed her his handkerchief. Always a gentleman.

James smiled back and carefully put his now fully satisfied cock back in his pants. "No, Love, thank you. And gentle...hard...whatever you like." He chuckled.

Erin reached for her seatbelt, "How close are you...er...we, Randy?" She looked over at James and he was wearing his, 'Erin, stop being a tease' look. She started to laugh but stopped when she and saw the lights coming towards them. {What? God. No!}

Time slowed to a snail's pace. "James!" She screamed and saw him turn to look out his window. But it was too late. Erin threw her hands up to protect herself from the oncoming vehicle. The force of the impact blew her door open and she flew out of the car and down into a ditch. She could hear someone screaming. And then she realized it was her own voice she heard. Time caught back up with her. "James," she whispered and closed her eyes....................

******

.................... Erin looked up at her mother and squeezed her eyes as tears started to roll down her cheeks, "Mama, James...where's James?"

Chaselyn glanced from her daughter over to her husband, Merle. "James," she shook her head and choked out the words, "Baby. Erin, James...uh...James."

Merle said it. He said it because it had to be said, "Baby, Erin." Her father held back the tears, ". Erin, honey, James was killed. But Karen and Randy are okay. Broken, but okay."

Erin stopped listening after the word 'killed'. The words sliced through Erin's soul and she felt as though all the life in her, the very essence of her, was rushing through the gaping wound. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Erin wanted to get up and run away. But she couldn't. Her legs weren't moving.

Erin glanced down and saw the cast on her right leg and looked over at her left leg. It had a half cast. She took a deep breath. {God, my legs. They're broken} Then Erin realized something. She knew her legs were broken, just like her arm, but...she couldn't feel them. {NO! NO! NO!}