Crucifix: Longing Ch. 02

Vicki grinned and said, "Oh, come on, William. It's been four days." She added with a little giggle as she ran her hand down his chest, stopping only when she reached the edge of his boxers, "I know you want me. Or, is Mr. Happy confused?" She knelt down and kissed the bulge in his thin shorts.

"Damn Vicki, of course I want you, and so does...'Mr. Happy'," he made sure to overstress her little nickname for his swollen cock. "But it's late. I'm hungry. It's raining. God, can't we just go pick up some dinner then go home and do this?"

She huffed a little and pulled back away from him, "Damn it, William, I'm getting tired of always doing things on your schedule. I want you now. And if you don't want me now, well, you can forget having me later." The look in her eyes told him she was one hundred percent serious and when she put her mind to something, she saw it through.

{Jesus Christ, what is with her? Now verses later? Goddamn, what in the fuck is with her?} "Whoa! Back the truck up, Vicki! What is wrong with you? Where did that come from?" He attached his prosthesis and grabbed his slacks. William knew this was not going to be a 'tiny spat'. He could tell that from the little wrinkles on her forehead. "Damn, baby, I just said I wanted to get some dinner. I haven't eaten anything since fucking ten o'clock this morning."

William slid his way down off the work table and carefully checked his balance before letting go. He watched as Vicki grew more pissed with him. {Fuck, what is with her? It's like she's trying to pick a fight.} So, William decided to calm the situation by hugging her. "Come on, Vic, let's just go. We can pick up some take-out, go home, and relax."

"Relax! You want me to relax? Damn it, William, you never want to fuck me anymore."

William shook his head and tried to figure out what was going on, "Well, I thought we 'made love' as opposed to just 'fucking'. But that's a totally different argument. And besides, you cannot be serious. God Almighty, Vicki, I was groping you ten minutes ago. My dick is as hard as a rock. But my stomach if fucking growling. I'm sorry, okay. Jesus, just relax. Damn, are you just having a bad PMS day or something?" As soon as the words flew out of his mouth, William regretted saying that. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, shit. Christ. Vicki, I'm so sorry."

Vicki burst out in tears and ran from the workroom. William stared at the floor and shook his head. Then, as he often did, he looked Heavenward and asked God a question, "Are you enjoying this? No, seriously. Are you enjoying watching me screw up? Cause, Christ, and I really mean that in the polite 'Christ our Father' way, I seem to be fucking up everything I touch right now." William threw the shop keys at the door and cradled his head in his hands.

Normally, Vicki would have laughed away what William had said without so much as a 'hey, how are you'. But she'd had a miscarriage about two months earlier and, yes, her hormones and her emotions were still shot to Hell. Five months of carrying a baby and then, poof, all at once, it's gone. ..............

******

........... Vicki came bounding out of the bathroom waving a little stick with a lilac tip and grinning from ear to ear. "See, I told you! Ha. You owe me five dollars." Vicki put the pregnancy stick in William's hand and stared at him, "Oh, come on...you're happy. I know you are."

"Happy, no...I mean, well...yeah. God, Vicki, I'm more fucking worried." William sat on the sofa in their apartment and stared at the little stick. No, it wasn't an issue of money that caused him worry. He'd come into a good chunk of change from his parent's estate when he turned twenty one. But everything else in his life was going to change.

Sure, he and Vicki were going to get married...next year. And yes, he wanted kids. He wanted a whole fucking gaggle of kids, in fact. But he was only twenty five. He wasn't ready to be a dad yet. Damn, sometimes he wasn't even sure if he was really ready to get married. Especially with the dynamics of their two families.

William was raised Catholic, very Catholic. He even had a cousin who was a priest. William had attended Catholic school his entire life. And, as the icing on the cake: he had even been an alter boy. And, therefore, was always chided by his soon-to-be in-laws about that. 'Did William ever have his Willie wanked?' God, he hated that.

Then there was Vicki. And, she was Jewish., very Jewish. Her uncle was a Rabbi. And she'd gone to a private Jewish school in Atlanta. To make matters worse, she was the youngest child of four and she was the only girl. Adam was nice to William, but the other two, Daniel and Aaron, they were fucking assholes.

Nothing he did was good enough for them. They doted on Vicki and she loved it. Shit, he agreed to move up to Georgia for her because she wanted to be closer to her family. And they were often an invasive group, the whole lot of them. Not that his family wasn't just as 'caring and concerned for them'. Which really that they meant, both families were nosey.

Vicki sat beside him and rubbed his back, "Don't worry, baby, everything is going to be fine."

William sighed deeply, "Yeah, it'll be fine." He took hold of Vicki's hands and kissed them. "Yeah, it'll be alright." Inwardly, William wanted to kill himself for not using that condom. He could hear Vicki's voice in the back of his mind, 'William, it's just one pill. I'll be fine. You know, you don't have to worry. I only missed one pill.'

One missed pill, one fresh egg and thousands of eager sperm...equaled so many restless nights. And the fact that the next four months were not pleasant for Vicki, which also meant the same for him, did not lend itself to easing William's worries.

Vicki, an unbelievably healthy young woman, was constantly sick and couldn't even stand the smell of certain things like spaghetti sauce or tuna or peanut butter. Which, of course, were things that William absolutely loved to eat. Morning sickness, it seems is an altogether false name for the often times round the clock stomach upset that Vicki experienced.

But the scariest part of those months was just after Vicki had entered into her second trimester and they went to tell her parents. Oddly, Vicki, who'd been practically green just hours before leaving for her parent's house felt one hundred percent amazingly well. William, however, was so nervous as he drove them across the city to the posh part of Buckhead in Atlanta, that he thought he would throw up.

To his unexpected delight, Rose and Jerry weren't too surprised when they 'spilled the beans' about Vicki's pregnancy. Rose kissed her daughter and looked at William, "Now, William, you know this means we've got to move the date for the wedding." And that did it. He got so sick, he had to run to the bathroom. Thank God, her brothers weren't there.

Later that night back at their apartment, Vicki was feeling quite well, yes, quite well indeed. She lay in bed and watched the red digital display change from twelve ten to twelve eleven and realized she couldn't sleep because, truth be told, she was horny as hell! She snuggled up behind William and placed her hand on his hip. With a devilish grin, Vicki slid her hand across his hip and rested it on his peacefully sleeping penis.

{Wakey, wakey, Mr. Happy} Vicki started to slowly slide her hand from his relaxed scrotum and all the way up his soft sleeping cock. As she fondled him, she could feel him starting to respond beneath her hand. She tickled the tip of his cock-head and then held it with her right hand as she propped up on her left elbow. Vicki started to gently pump him, until she'd made him quite stiff.

With 'Step One' well underway, she leaned over and started to suck on his right earlobe and heard William give a very soft, very sleep filled moan. {This is so fucking fun.} With just a tiny bit of effort she was able to pull him over onto his back. When Vicki looked down at his naked form, it made all the hair on her neck and arms stand up. Even though it was dark in the room, William's body reflected the bright moonlight that shone through their bedroom window. {Damn, you're so Goddamn beautiful}.

Vicki slipped her t-shirt and panties off as she plotted her next move. William, who had to be the deepest sleeper she'd ever been with, looked as though he thought he was having one really hot dream. When she was completely disrobed, Vicky softy ran her hand along the tiny bump that had grown on her equally tiny tummy and softly smiled.

Then, as she continued to stroke him, she trailed his torso with kisses and giggled as she gently licked his nipples. The look on his face was that of pure bliss. {Nice dream, baby? Well, I'm going to make it nicer.} Vicki's hormones were screaming at her to fuck the daylights out of 'Sleeping Beauty'. He was so hard and she was so wet just from the thought of him.

He looked tasty lying there with his never sun touched swollen shaft contrasting against his deeply tanned body. Vicki couldn't resist. She started to gently lick his cock and watched the poor, unsuspecting chap start to move his hips rather slowly. As she sucked on him, she sensed that her own nipples had grown quite distended and hard. Vicki giggled with an deep sound of wanton desire.

So, she did what any healthy, hormonally charged horny pregnant woman would do...she quietly straddled his torso and gently sank down on him. William sighed with slumbered delight, which, in turn triggered a deep tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach. The feeling was so intense and she smiled so broadly, her cheeks hurt. {That's it, baby. I know you're loving this.}

And was he ever enjoying it, too. William had been dreaming of running through his old neighborhood back in Florida. He could feel the sun on his skin and the sweat forming on his brow. In his dream everything was going along so well, until he looked down and saw that both his legs were gone and he started to fall face first into a patch of grass.

But he was able to stop himself when he heard someone calling out to him. It was his sister, Claudia, calling to him, 'Billy, dinner's ready.' And he jumped up only to realize that his legs were back where they were supposed to be. Like nothing had happened. Then he was in the kitchen area and Vicki was lying down on the well decorated table with her legs spread wide before him.

He heard Claudia laugh, "I fixed your favorite. Go on, dig in Billy. I know you're hungry." Hungry, didn't quite describe how sexually frustrated he'd been for the past twenty or so weeks, especially since Vicki was never in the mood to do anything.

As his dream progressed, William who was still seated at the kitchen table, turned to Claudia and saw here standing directly beside him. She was completely naked. "Claude, where're your clothes?" He shook his head and then looked at Vicki. He reached out to touch his fiancée only to see her fade away.

Claudia gently stroked her brother's cheek and started to nibble on his ear. She whispered, "Come on now, dig in. I made it for you." He watched as his sister sat her nude body down on the table and leaned back with her legs spread so temptingly. "Billy, what's wrong?" William felt the silky smoothness on the inside of her thighs but made no move toward her. She sat up a bit and stared into his eyes.

"Claude, what...what are you doing?" William looked into her eyes, knowing that hers were only a tad bit older and just a wee might wiser but nonetheless identical to his. Then, he felt her sitting on his lap. He watched her hands slip between his legs and take hold of him. Her hands were so soft. "Claude," he said as she gently slid her hand up and down, "God, Claudia, what in the Hell are you doing?"

He looked at her neck and gazed at the tiny crucifix that hung there and felt the chain that bore the crucifix he wore around his own neck, hang heavy. William looked beyond Claudia and could see two faceless people, whom he knew to be his parents. And even though he couldn't see their eyes, he could feel their disapproving gaze on him. It was like they stared right through him. A solitary chill ran down his spine.

William tried to say something to his beautiful sister but couldn't get his voice to work. He closed his eyes to her delicate touch and felt himself falling. He opened them again and watched her slide down on him. "Claude, what are you doing?" It felt so good to be inside her. It was so calm and peaceful. He put his hands on her hips and looked around. "Why are we here?" He saw that he was lying on her bed back in their childhood home. And he could hear her laughter from when they were kids and would ride bikes down Dairy Hill.

He saw her smile softly down as she leaned forward to kiss him. She put her finger to his lips, "Shhh, Billy, I know you want me. I know you've always wanted me. You've wanted me here, in this bed, haven't you? I know, I know." Then she started to move slowly, rhythmically and skillfully on him. She leaned down over him again and he could feel her bare breasts just graze his chest.

She sat up and started to move slightly faster on him. He took her breasts in his hands and marveled at how soft they were. He'd always wondered what they were like. Claudia smiled down at him. "Tell me you want me, Billy. Tell me. You want me don't you?" Her blue green eyes bore into his eyes.

He closed them and shook his head as the words, "Yes, yes," fell from his lips. William could feel Claudia's soft, loving lips on his and then her delicate mouth opened so that he was able to slip his tongue inside. She was amazing. Just like he'd always thought she would be. William stared into her eyes and wanted to cry as he realized what he was doing. "This isn't right. No, Claude. God, no, stop. Claudia." It was taboo and it felt good. William heard Claudia start to moan and likewise, he started to moan.

Vicki sighed deeply and looked down at William when she felt his hands take her breasts. {Someone is having a great dream.} She leaned forward and kissed his slightly parted lips, never knowing that he wasn't dreaming of her, not in the slightest. But it didn't matter, she felt so good with him in her. And his lips were so soft. She tenderly let her tongue move in tandem with his. She pushed herself down deeper on him. When she heard her lover, and the father of their growing child, falling into a blissful darkness, Vicki spoke to him, "Yes, William. Oh, yes, baby. I love you."

William started to speak, "I love..." Claudia faded from his view. "No, wait, wait." He started falling, faster and faster. His eyes flew opened and he saw Vicki sitting on him, rocking quickly back and forth.

"I'm trying to wait for you, baby, I am really." Vicki breathily added, "I wondered when you'd wake up."

{Fuck, Vicki. What? Shit, am I dreaming? Oh, God. What the hell was that? Claudia, shit. No way. No.} That's when he realized what had happened. William thought his heart would jump out of his chest. "Jesus Christ, Vicki! What in the hell are you doing to me?" {Did I call out Claudia's name? No, Vicki would've killed me. Shit!}

Vicki started to move faster, "Oh, come on baby, you know you liked it. You want me don't you? Tell me you want me."

William felt like crying. What had he been thinking? Why would he even dream that? He'd often had little lustful pangs toward his sister, but what happened in his dream, scared him. And then he to laugh it off. {Her. It was her talking to me. Not Claudia. Goddamn. Shit. I've seriously got to go to Mass. It's nothing. Let it go, William. Let it go.}

Vicki laughed out loud, "God, baby, what's wrong? Did you think you were really dreaming all this?" The look on his face told her she'd guessed correctly. She laughed at the sheer hilarity of the situation. {That is so fucking funny!} "God, William, I love you!" Vicki started to move faster and faster. She felt a massive surge of energy and couldn't stop her intense need to climax, right then. And she didn't really care if William was ready or not.

But he was. He'd built up so much tension as a result of his sinfully delicious, incestuous dream about his beautiful sister that he was desperate to find release. William tried let go of the fear and guilt that had wrapped itself around his desire to feel good. "Yes, baby, yes. Vicki, I love you." Though when he spoke the words, he wasn't sure if he said them because he wanted to tell her how he really felt about her or if he was trying to convince himself that he believed it.

William closed his eyes as he came. But it was not Vicki's face he saw in his mind's eye. It was Claudia. It felt so good, so warm, so loving. But why? Why would he think such things about his sister? Was he a bad person?

The next day, William went to Confession and told the priest what had happened. Oddly, the priest told him to not worry about it. He said that pregnancy is often as mentally taxing for men as it is physically taxing for women. He said it was most likely a mixture of what Vicki was doing intertwined with the comfort and deep, but not incestuous, love and admiration he felt for his sister. William left feeling a bit better, but he still had a hard time erasing the image of Claudia from his mind.

But three weeks later in brief instant, Claudia was the furthest thing in his mind. William was paged during a physical therapy session with a young girl named Michelle. {Geez, what now?} He looked at Michelle's mother, "Sorry, Mrs. Deerbourne. I'll be right back. You keep doing those leg lifts, Shelly, okay?"

William walked to the office and had a very odd, dreadful sensation run through him as Dawn Allen, the office manager, handed him the phone with a worried look on her face, even though she didn't say a word. "William Fitzpatrick, can I help you?"

The voice on the other end of the phone said, "Mr. Fitzpatrick, this is Walter Harris over at the "Y".

"Yes?"

There was a long pause. "Umm, your wife had an accident in the pool area." Walter Harris didn't know they weren't married and William didn't bother to correct him.

William's heart sank and he quietly said, "Yes?"

"They took her to the hospital. She's okay. But we wanted to let you know right away." William could hear Walter Harris's concern, but it wasn't for Vicki. It was for the "Y's" liability responsibility. "We're checking into what happened right now, sir."

William halfway remembered handing the phone to Dawn but couldn't really remember how he'd made it to Grady Memorial. He just knew that when he pulled into the handicapped space close to the front he silently thanked God for the ability to park close to the entrance.

He recalled running to the ER admissions desk and asking about Vicki. "Vicki...uh...Victoria Bardole. My fiancée, she was brought in ambulatory about forty five minutes ago. She's pregnant."

He remembered looking at the false smile of concern on the ER admissions clerk. "Bardole...let me see...ah, here we go. Room nine, sir. Let me buzz you in." William was at the slick dull metal doors before the buzzer sounded. {Nine...nine...nine} He frantically looked up at the numbers above the doors. "Shit!"

"Sir? Can I help you?" A very nice heavy set black nurse stopped William. She could see that he was upset.

"I'm looking for room nine. It's my fiancée. She's here. She's pregnant." For some inane reason William thought the nurse's name sounded so melodic. {'Tympania' sort of like the percussion instrument.}

'Tympania DeShawn, RN (Proudly 17 years serving Grady Memorial)' led him to the room. But William stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Vicki screaming. He couldn't make out the words but he knew she was in pain. He didn't need to be told what was happening. Nurse De Shawn looked at him and said, "Baby, why don't you wait out here for a minute."