Cruelties

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A glimpse of happiness can be crueler than any torment.
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ldrequiv
ldrequiv
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The Sandalwood Cafe was entirely empty at two AM, and Alice and Theresa were about to shut down the stereo and the coffee urns, wrap the leftover pastries, and call it an early night, when the two men walked in.

They were off the usual run of Sandalwood clientele: both around forty years old, business-suited and well groomed. They were probably from somewhere far from Wichita. One was tall and husky, the other a little shorter than average and slender of frame. They glanced quickly around the little cafe, then moved toward a booth against the far wall and sat there. Theresa glanced at Alice with an eyebrow raised, then went to ask for their orders. Alice shrugged and returned to her cleaning-up.

A couple of minutes later, Alice looked up to find that the taller man had moved to another table and that Theresa had joined him there. The two were conversing animatedly, flirtatious expressions in place, hands stirring the air between them. The shorter man glanced at them, grinned knowingly and world-wearily, and looked to Alice with an expression of inquiry. Alice set down her roll of plastic wrap, groped for her order pad, and went to his table.

"May I take your order, sir?"

He chuckled. "Yes, that would be nice. Some decaf, please, and a bear claw if you have any."

Alice glanced at Theresa and the other man. The young woman was obviously deep into her pick-up ritual. Alice had seen it before. She'd dealt with the aftermath before, too.

She has to know he's not from around here. He'll be gone in the morning and never think of her again. Why does she keep it up?

"Worried about your friend?" the shorter man said.

It jolted Alice out of her musings. "Hm? No, not really. It's just...well, I've seen it before. She's not exactly subtle, is she?"

He smiled. "No, she isn't. Neither is he." He shook his head. "I've never understood his tomcatting, or why his wife puts up with it."

"She knows about it?"

He nodded. "He's unbelievably up-front about it. Does it at home, too. Frankly, I think it's a species of cruelty. He revels in the fact that he can get away with it. But the only reason he gets away with it is that she's a saint. The wonder of it is that their kids don't know. Against all odds, she's managed to keep it from them."

"Where's home?" she said.

"New York state. Chenango County."

"I don't know that area."

He smiled. "Not many do." His look turned appraising. "Would you like to join me?" He held up his left hand, displaying his wedding band. "It's safe. Just conversation."

She hesitated. He seemed sincere. That was part of the problem. He radiated gentility, courtesy, and quiet strength. He was a lot more appealing than his rakish companion, and she was powerfully drawn toward him, on the strength of sixty seconds' conversation. It worried her.

"What's your name?" she said.

"Alex. Yours?"

"Alice. Let me get your coffee," she said, and moved off.

"Get some for yourself, too," he said.

***

They talked of innumerable things. Time slipped by untracked. Alice didn't look at her watch until Theresa scampered up giggling, the other man's hand clutched tightly in her own, to ask if Alice wouldn't mind closing up alone. Alice shrugged, and the two hurried off in a cloud of pheromones.

"Does she do that a lot?" Alex said.

"Maybe a dozen times this past year." Alice glanced out at the parking lot. The car in which Alex and his companion had arrived was backing out. Theresa was in the passenger seat, but her hands were busy in the driver's lap. "I'd call it hot pants, but it's always the same kind of guy."

"Hm?"

"Someone who looks like he's got a little something. A ticket out of town."

"Ah." Alex's face turned dark. "Maybe I should have said something."

"About his wife and kids?"

He nodded.

"Waste of time. She wouldn't have listened."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "You know this from experience?"

She nodded. He fell silent.

"How were you planning to get back to...wherever?" she said.

"To the hotel? Cab, I suppose."

"No need for that," she said. "It's just about closing time. I'll drive you there."

His expression brightened. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. I've...enjoyed our conversation greatly."

"Me too." He glanced down at his hands. "There isn't much pleasant conversation in my life."

It was the first thing he'd said that suggested anything but contentment. "Why is that?"

He shrugged, still looking down at his hands.

"All not well on the home front?" she said.

"You could say that." He sat back and folded his hands across his middle. "I don't know if I should talk about it."

"Why not?" I'm a stranger in a cafe two thousand miles from where you live and work. I don't even know your last name. What do you have to be afraid of?

A ripple of tension passed over his features. He glanced out at the parking lot, now empty but for Alice's old subcompact. "You've been wonderful company," he said. "I'm grateful to have met you. I wouldn't want you to think I was hustling you."

A wave of desire swept over Alice that dwarfed anything she'd ever known. Her breath caught in her chest and her whole body trembled with longing. Involuntarily she reached across the table and took Alex's fingers between hers.

"Tell me," she whispered. "Please."

He peered uncertainly at her through the gloom for a long moment, then sat forward and folded her hands between his own.

"My marriage...doesn't work too well. We're at the separate-beds stage. Pretty much separate lives, too. I can't say why. It just...happened. Maybe it's because we didn't have children. Couples with kids have something to work on together, something that makes the family a dynamic, growing thing. We don't have anything like that." He glanced at her ringless left hand. "Have you ever been married?"

She hesitated. "I was, once. Divorced five years now."

"Was the breakup your idea, or hers?"

"Hers," she said without thinking. "I was -- What? How did you know?"

She tried to pull away, but his grip proved inescapable. He locked eyes with her and chafed her hands gently until she'd calmed.

"It was a pretty good guess," he said, still gently rubbing the backs of her hands, "but still, just a guess. Your hands are a little squarer than a woman's hands usually are, and you've got a tiny bit of hair in the hollow of your throat that I'd guess the electrolysist couldn't quite get rid of. Your bosom is too full and upright to be real. Then there's your shoes. Waitresses almost never wear anything high-heeled on the job; you spend too much time on your feet. But those wedges are at least four inches high."

She emitted a sound that was half laugh and half sob. "When I went for my implants, I had my tendons shortened so I'd be comfortable in heels."

"Alice, it's okay." He gripped her hands tightly. "You're what you've made yourself. What you want to be. Aren't you?"

She nodded. "Mostly."

He frowned. "Meaning what?"

"Meaning I...couldn't go the whole way. I thought I wanted to at first, but..."

"Too much like suicide?" he said.

She nodded. "When she told me she was leaving, my wife said I was a failure as a husband and a total loss as a man. That was a big part of why I did this. But giving up my...my plumbing seemed like going too far. It would have felt like I was agreeing with her verdict."

"I get it," he said gravely. "Believe me, I get it. Don't dwell on it, dear. That was another life. This is now, and you're what you are." He squeezed her hands. "Enjoy it for what it's worth."

"Alex," she whispered, "what is it worth?"

"Hm?"

"As a woman," she whispered, "I'm an even worse failure than I was as a man. What can I offer anyone? I can't have children. I can't even make love the way a woman does. I'm a freak with one foot on either side of the sexual fence, and no good to anyone!"

He gripped her hands tightly and said nothing.

Presently he said, "You underrate yourself, dear. There's a great deal of substance to you. A lot of character...a lot of gentleness...and a lot of love. It might take time, but you'll find someone you can love who sees all those things, and who can love you in return."

She forced her way through a wall of fear more forbidding than she'd ever known, and murmured, "I think I have."

His mouth dropped open. "Alice --"

"I know. You're married." She hesitated. "Do you still want it to work out?"

He regarded her solemnly. "I do."

She nodded and looked away. Neither spoke for a long time.

"Alex," she murmured, "can I ask a favor?"

He nodded.

"Can we spend the night together? No, no sex, just...I want you to hold me. I want to fall asleep in your arms...the arms of someone I could love."

He pondered it in silence.

"Please?"

"All right," he said. They rose from the table, hands still joined. "Your place or my hotel?"

"My place," she said.

She quenched the lights and locked the door of the cafe behind them.

***

She'd done her best with the little studio, but she couldn't help wondering whether, seeing how tightly its walls compressed her life, he regretted his decision to stay with her.

He must have noticed her unease, for he looked around and smiled. "It's very homey."

"Thank you," she said, voice rough.

They undressed in silence and slipped under the covers of her queen-size bed. Without hesitation, he spread his arms and beckoned her into them. She laid her head against his shoulder and willed herself to relax.

He pulled her snugly against him and stroked her back and shoulders. "Is this what you wanted?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Thank you."

"Shhh," he said, raised his hands to her face and pulled her lips to his.

The kiss was gentle and sweet. He rubbed his mouth over hers with the unhurried sensuousness of a practiced lover, one who knows what he's about, knows where he's headed, and has all the time in the world to get there. When she felt the tip of his tongue probe at her lips, she moaned, drew it deeply into her mouth, and responded in kind. His hands descended to her breasts, caressing and teasing her erect nipples, and she moaned again.

"Are they sensitive?" he said.

In answer she drew his head down to them and urged him to nurse, and he did.

Alice had never known such a firestorm of desire. For the first time since her decision to change genders, she had awakened physically as a woman, every nerve alive with the need to submit to her man and be possessed by him. Her penis surged to its full, steely length, prodding him awkwardly. She giggled, and he laughed in response.

"Just a little inconvenient to have two sets of those, eh?" she said.

"Oh, I don't know," he said, and disappeared under the covers.

The pleasure when his lips closed over her glans was unprecedented, shocking. She put her hands to the sides of his face and urged him deeper. Her need for him rose ever higher as he drew her irresistibly towards orgasm.

"I'm going to come," she whispered.

In answer, he wrapped his arms around her buttocks and took her whole length momentarily into him.

She came with volcanic force, spurting jet after jet of semen into his mouth. Her orgasm seemed to go on for a full minute. He never stopped nursing, allowed not a drop to escape, and swallowed it smoothly and steadily, lips and tongue loving her penis as it twitched and spurted.

When he emerged from beneath the covers, she pulled him against her with manic strength, trembling and weeping from pleasure and relief. He held her gently, hands light upon the small of her back, his heartbeat a slow, soothing lullaby. But she could not let it end there. When she had recovered herself, her hands went to his penis and found it hard and full. She rubbed it gently, and he moaned and arched.

"Do you like that?" she said.

He chuckled. "You know I do." He lay back contentedly, hands behind his head, allowing her to do as she liked.

Alice's moment of decision was upon her. She confronted it squarely. With one hand wrapped gently around Alex's erection, she turned to present her buttocks to him and wiggled backward until he was lodged in her cleft.

"I need to have you inside me," she whispered.

"Are you sure?" he murmured.

"Please."

He rose onto an elbow, and she turned fully onto her stomach. He positioned himself between her legs and parted her buttocks with his fingers, exposing her anus. In response she raised her rump in a clear invitation.

"Do you have any..." he said.

"In the nightstand," she said, voice partly muffled against her pillow.

He found the lubricant by touch, squeezed a dab onto her orifice and worked it in with his fingers. When his thumb slipped inside the opening, she surged, almost coming a second time.

"Please," she growled. "Hurry."

She felt the head of his organ press at her orifice, pushed back against him, and his whole length slid into her in a single smooth stroke. She instantly went as rigid as if she'd been electrocuted, and he stopped in fear that he'd hurt her.

"Please!" she said, voice rising toward a scream, "love me!"

He lay full length against her, hands cupping her breasts, and thrust slowly and methodically, building her fires and his own in tandem. She clutched at him with her interior muscles, wanting it to go on and on, praying that somehow she could keep him inside her forever, but plainly it could not be. The human body's tolerance for pleasure is only so great. All too soon they reached their limits.

He gasped as his seed jetted, copious and warm, into her rectum. Her own organ fountained forth a second, smaller burst. All her muscles went slack as he relaxed, sated, against her back, his arms still around her, his hands still gentle on her breasts.

Sleep came upon them both scant moments later.

***

"Will your...friend be with you on the flight?"

He squeezed her hand. "No, he's on a later one." He glanced up at the departures board as travelers flowed around them. "I'll have to clear security in a few minutes."

"I know," she said. "Thank you for everything."

He grimaced in mock disapproval. "Why do you keep saying that? Don't you think I enjoyed it as much as you did?"

"Well, I hoped you did, but -- hey!" She grinned wickedly. "What makes you so sure I enjoyed it? You never once asked if it was good for me!"

"Didn't have to," he smirked. "I slept in the wet spot."

She snorted, red-faced.

"Alice," he said, voice warm and soft, "there are a lot of things in our lives we'd change if we could, but I don't think this is one of them. I've never known anyone like you. It's been more of a privilege than I can say." He hesitated. "If things were...otherwise, I could love you."

"Alex," she said falteringly, "if your wife doesn't want you...and if you're really serious...?"

He lowered his eyes. "I do want it to work, dear."

"I understand."

"Of course," he said, "there's no guarantee that it will. I can't make it work all by myself. Marriage is a two-person game. Either we both win or we both lose, and either player's default dooms the other no matter what he does."

"Another of life's little cruelties?"

"Something like that."

They sat silent for a long moment.

"So will we stay in touch?" she said.

He looked at her wryly, as if she'd said something clever without knowing it.

"All right, I won't press," she said.

He reached into his jacket pocket and brought forth a business card. It bore his full name and two telephone numbers.

"The second number is my home office. Try to call during business hours, okay?"

Her eyes filled, and she nodded.

He rose and hefted his valise. "You be well, dear. I'll speak to you soon, I hope."

She rose and faced him, blinking away her tears. "Alex?"

"Hm?"

"You have a lot of character...a lot of gentleness...and a lot of love. Maybe your wife doesn't see those things, or maybe she's forgotten how to see them. Show her again, the way you showed me. That's your best play. I'd give odds on it."

He put a hand to her cheek. "Thank you, dear. I will."

She touched her lips to his, and he was off.

She watched him steadily, all her regrets dispelled, as he trudged toward the checkpoint, gave the security guard his keys, passed through the magnetometer and disappeared from sight.

-- The End --

ldrequiv
ldrequiv
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5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Bitter sweet. They deserved a happier ending. But - I guess that it mirrors real life.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

Strange story. Strange reaction by Alex. Unusual advice by Alice. Will it work?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
This is just fantastic

Vividly drawn, with great characters that felt real and a wonderfully poignant story. I don't write reviews, well, ever. But I had to with this one.

Best Wishes,

Tess

MichelleWhoIsMichelleWhoIsover 14 years ago
Have to concur with Purple

The true measure of a story is not just the sexual side but one that draws a reader into it with passion and emotion. You have done both with this story. This story is one that plays out almost every day in many parts of the world.

Purple_RaihnePurple_Raihnealmost 16 years ago
Tearjerking

Ibelieve the best erotica does more than turn your crank

I believe tugs at your heart.

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