Cruising for a Bruisin' Ch. 01

"You've got a very beautiful wife, young man," Ed said a bit too loudly.

Anna put her hand on his arm and said, "And you have a very handsome husband, sweetheart! We wish you as much happiness as we've had."

Ed said, "Anna? Why would you say that? Don't you want them to actually BE happy?"

Anna swatted him playfully and said, "I don't know what I'm gonna do with him."

"Keep him?" I said with a smile.

"I guess so," Anna replied. "It's a little early to know for sure, but I think I may just hold onto him." Everyone laughed politely as the wait staff poured each a glass of red wine.

Ed raised his glass and said, "To a long and happy marriage!"

Tim and I looked at each other, smiled, then repeated the toast then took a small sip. We made small talk during dinner which consisted of a delicious burnt Alaskan salmon with fresh asparagus, brown rice, and a very rich chocolate cake for dessert.

After dinner, a string quartet came in and began playing some soft, quiet, but recognizable music. "Shall we?" Tim asked as he offered me his hand.

Once we'd got out onto the dance floor, Ed stood up and raised his (third) glass and bellowed out, "Everyone? A toast to our newlyweds, Tim and Callie!"

Everyone clapped and many of the women said, "Ahh!" or "Oh, isn't that romantic?" as we smiled back and tried not to laugh.

"I guess it's a good thing I wore the big diamond tonight," I told Tim.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want anyone thinking I'm a cheapskate," he said. I laughed as I looked at the huge cubic zirconia on my left ring finger.

"You really are a big spender, aren't you?" I teased him. I'd spent less than $50 on it at a place called Drama Queen. The irony of that made me smile.

Tim and I danced several more times then around midnight, my biggest fear came true. Ed looked over at Tim and said, "Hey there, pardner. You mind if I ask that little filly o' yours to dance?"

Tim glanced at me as I tried not to express shock or horror. I was sending him mental signals which said, "Don't you dare! Find a way to tell him no..." just as he told Ed that would be fine by him.

I managed to elbow him as I excused myself to stand up and he managed not to flinch. "No dessert for you tonight," I whispered as I stood up.

I smiled as Ed reached out for my hand. I was so, so glad I'd taken some dancing classes after I started dressing up again because I never wanted to be caught in a position where I was out as a girl who couldn't dance. I'd learned how to do several different steps for both slow and faster songs without looking ridiculous. This song had a country sound to it, so Ed asked me if I knew how to two-step.

"Of course!" I said with a smile.

"Well then, hang on little lady because Ed loves him some two-step!"

He drug me around the floor zipping in and out of other couples and almost stumbling once. His watch got stuck in my hair and I thanked God I wasn't wearing a wig! What could have potentially been disastrous was little more than a couple of hairs getting yanked out at the roots. "Sorry, honey! Ed's had a little too much to drink tonight."

I was just praying he wouldn't make some kind of clumsy pass at me or try and kiss me afterward. When he gave me a big old bear hug at the end, I counted my lucky stars knowing it could have been much worse.

Just as we sat back down, Tim was standing up to ask Anna to dance. As we passed he said, "Hope this makes up for that."

"We'll see," I said with mock seriousness.

Anna was clearly reveling in dancing with such a gorgeous young man. She was all smiles all the time throughout the entire number. Unlike Ed, she was actually very graceful and clearly a very good dancer. Tim thanked her and kissed her on the cheek before they sat down.

"If I wasn't a married man, I might give you a run for your money, Ed. That's quite a remarkable woman you have there," Tim said trying to fit into Ed's world.

"Well, it's lucky for you you are, young fella. I might have to snap you like a twig if you tried."

Anna was very much enjoying all the attention even as she said, "Oh, Edward. You stop that kind of talk right now! He was a perfect gentleman." Ed roared and we all laughed with him. Or at him?

What could have been a disaster of an evening turned out to be a very pleasant time for all of us. We wished one another good night then headed back to our cabin at about 1 am. We were well out to sea by now, at least relatively so as cruise liners go, and everything was perfect. Until it wasn't.

I "forgave" Tim and offered up my body to him twice that night. Okay...morning. He was such an amazing lover and I adored the feeling of having his big cock inside me. It didn't matter whether he was in my mouth or my male pussy, the feeling was absolutely wonderful. And I simply loved letting my faux husband cum inside me. I felt so happy knowing he remained inside me even it wasn't for all that long. It was times like that when I truly wished I could experience life as a genetic woman for some short period of time. To have my husband cum inside of me. The thought of getting pregnant. But that was just fantasy. The reality was I was happy being me—a guy who loves to live life as a woman every now and then. For me, I had the best of both worlds and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

The "until" started the next evening. We'd made port in a small town, walked around and done some shopping for trinkets and even went on a brief tour through a fish cannery. The smell was a bit much, but it was really was quite interesting to watch the entire process. I wore an off-white sweater with jeans and black peacoat with a pair of comfortable (read: boring!) shoes. It wasn't exactly what one would call exciting, but it was pleasant and enjoyable just being out with Tim and in drag.

As we headed back out to sea that evening, the water got a bit rough. I'd been out on a couple of sea trials on a carrier and knew I didn't get seasick. Tim had never really been on a boat before, and after just half an hour of some gentle rocking, he said he thought he was going to lose it. I walked him back to our room and asked him what I could do to make him feel better. Normally, that would have been an immediate invitation to reply with something like, "I know exactly what you could do to make me feel better." When he told me he just needed to lay down, I knew it was serious.

I remembered some of my Navy friends telling me that Dramamine could help so I took off my coat, helped him lay down, then went to the ship's store to buy some. On the way, I passed through what was for the most part a kind of sport's bar. There was a very nice looking guy sitting alone having a beer and as I walked by he said hello to me. I smiled and kept walking. On the way back, we made eye contact again and he asked if I'd like to join him for a drink. I told him my husband wasn't feeling well and needed to take care of him. He said if I changed my mind he'd be there for another couple of hours.

I found Tim curled up in bed. He didn't even want to turn over but I made him take two tablets with some water. He nearly threw up just getting the pills down but he did manage to lay back down without getting sick. He mumbled, "If you wanna go do something, go ahead. I can't do anything but lay here and breath." He sounded terrible.

"You don't mind?" I asked him.

"No, you go ahead. I can be miserable all by myself."

"If you're sure," I said.

"Oh, I'm sure. Go have fun. Just don't touch me, okay?"

It was just after 9pm. I made the decision to change out the pants and into this pretty green skirt that would go perfectly with the off-white sweater with the scoop neck. I ditched the comfortable shoes for pair of heels and decided to go have a drink.

As I walked back into the sports bar, I caught the attention of the cute guy I'd seen a few minutes earlier. "Wow! You look amazing!" he said. "Change your mind?"

"I did," I said. "May I?"

He stood up and helped seat me then asked, "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Vodka and tonic, please," I said with a smile. He ordered another beer for himself and I thanked him for the drink.

"How's your husband?" he asked.

"He's really seasick, but he'll live," I told him.

"I'm Andy," he said.

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Callie."

"I've noticed you several times. Your husband is a lucky man. You're very attractive."

"Thank you," I said as our drinks arrived.

"I like that you changed. I love the skirt. You have very nice legs...among other things, if I may say," he said in a very flirty way.

I took a sip of my drink, smiled, and said, "You may...say."

We sat and made small talk for awhile. As we finished our drinks he said, "Would you like another?"

"Oh, no thank you," I said.

"So how long have you been married, Callie?" he asked.

"We're actually on our honeymoon," I told him keeping the ruse alive.

"I see," he said. He sat there for a moment just looking at me then said, "That's a shame."

"How so?" I asked as I tilted my head slightly.

"Because that means you probably wouldn't be interested in going back to my cabin."

I lowered my head slightly and raised my eyebrows also very slightly. "Are you asking me to come to your room?" I said with mock surprise.

"I am," he said as he smiled, too.

"Well, I'm very flattered but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to give you want you want."

"That's okay," he said. "Maybe we could just sit and watch TV and see if you change your mind after a while. I'm a pretty nice guy so maybe you'll warm up to me."

I raised my eyebrows again and said, "I wasn't aware that nice guys ask other mens' wives to go back to their rooms with them. That isn't very nice, is it?"

"Okay. You got me. I'm a schmuck. But I'm an honest schmuck, right?"

My voice is very passable but laughing is another thing altogether. I've learned how to laugh softly in a convincing way, but a genuine laugh is out of the question. So is yelling or cheering at a sport's bar for that matter. I laughed softly then said, "Well, I am a married woman." Then I looked directly at him and said, "But if you don't mind settling for...Clinton sex with all my clothes on then..."

Andy then laughed but not so loudly it drew attention. "Would you like to meet me there or are you brave enough to walk with me?" he asked.

"I'm not afraid of what other people think," I told him. "Let them talk."

Andy helped me with my chair then indicated which way we needed to go. I laughed to myself when we passed the room where Tim was in bed sick as a dog. We went five rooms beyond it on the other side of the aisle. He used his key card to unlock it said, "After you, beautiful."

Once inside, Andy told me he needed to use the bathroom. "Ah, yes! According to W.C. Fields, one can only rent beer, right?" I said with a bright smile.

"Smart girl," he said. "Be right back."

"Lose the clothes," I said in an I'm-in-charge kind of voice.

"Yes, ma'am!" he said.

I sat down my purse and waited as I heard a very long stream of pee from the bathroom. I was laughing to myself about the situation. My faux husband was sick in bed during our faux honeymoon, and I, a faux woman, was about to suck some stranger's cock who believes I'm a newlywed knowing Tim wouldn't be too jealous when I told him. He wouldn't like it, but he would definitely understand. I wanted to burst out laughing in my male voice but managed to stifle the urge.

I was still smiling when Andy came out wearing nothing but his socks. "My feet get cold," he said pointing toward the floor. He was partially hard and I was very happy to see he had a very nice, very thick cock. It wasn't particularly long, but it was definitely very fat. I also couldn't help but notice he was rather well built. I guessed he was maybe 40 and about 5' 11" or so. He had a tuft of hair on his chest which was otherwise nearly smooth. He had nice eyes, great hair, and his body was in pretty decent shape. I was a very happy cheating "wife!"

Andy sat on the side of his bed and I kneeled down between his legs. "You are absolutely freakin' gorgeous," he said as I reached out and took his growing cock in my hand.

"So is your beautiful cock," I said as I took in my mouth without taking my eyes off of his. Andy gasped. "Feel good?" I asked knowing the answer.

"Oh, fuck that feels great," he moaned. "Jesus that feels good."

Tim's cock was longer but not quite as thick. I nearly laughed again when I thought about how this one might actually hurt going up my...

The one thing that wasn't faux was my hair. I could have never gotten away with this with a wig. Well, that's not actually true. I'd let several straight guys pick me up at the Blue Parrot when I was still wearing my blonde wig. I'd just tell them my ex-husband used to pull my hair and feel me up when I blew him and that it was a huge turn off. They were all so eager to get their cocks sucked, they were happy to lay back and leave me alone. Andy, on the other hand, was a big-time hair puller which I actually liked—a lot—as it was another part of the female experience I enjoyed so much.

That thought got me thinking about my own marriage and how I couldn't imagine I would ever tire of being with someone who did EVERYTHING I liked and ever wanted. Yet that's exactly what had happened. It was like the analogy of eating steak for dinner seven days a week. No matter how perfectly it was prepared, it got old eating steak. I returned to crossdressing with a vengeance and even as I was sucking this nice-looking man's cock while my boyfriend's cum was still inside me, I was wondering how many new experiences were left. At least blowing a guy with my boyfriend a few feet away could now be crossed off the list!

Then, for whatever reason, I thought about all the traditional marriages around the world. Two people meet, fall in love, get married, have children, work full-time jobs, get too tired for sex, fall out of love, have affairs, get divorced, then start all over again. I couldn't help wonder how many others had walked the path I was now on.

Andy was getting ready to cum as all these thoughts ran through my mind. They were interrupted when I heard, "I wanna cum on your face, baby!" Andy grunted as he got ready.

"Uh-uh," I managed to mumble in spite of him pushing my head down on his cock. "My husband is..."

"Your husband isn't here!" he hissed. "I'm gonna cum all over your face, baby!"

I'd taken martial arts for three years but quit going because I had too many other things on my plate. I knew a knife-hand strike to his throat with my sharp nails would end this problem instantly, but it would create another, far more serious one in its place. Keeping my male self under wraps was more important than worrying about getting my makeup ruined. After all, I made this bed, as it were, so now I was getting to lay in it. Oh, joy.

"Okay. That's fine," I said sweetly. I smiled as I came up for air then went back down to finish him off.

Maybe it was because I gave in and said 'okay' but at the last second he let me just jack him off as he came. In fact, after a few strokes he took over and finished the job himself. Like so many other guys, Andy did a Jekyll and Hyde thing during and after orgasm. He was probably a really nice guy who got caught up in the experience then as soon as he shot his load he returned to his nice-guy self. "I'm really sorry," he said. "I'm not like that. I promise."

I stood up and reached for something to wipe his cum off my hand and said, "That's okay. I'm just glad you changed your mind."

I stood up and didn't bother kissing him goodbye. "So I'll see you around then?" I said as I smoothed my hair.

"Yeah, sure. And don't worry. I'm not gonna tell your husband, okay?" he said. He smiled but I didn't smile back. I just picked up my purse and left as another thought ran through my head. I wondered how many real women had gotten themselves into that kind of situation with a guy who wasn't as nice as Andy. It wasn't a very pleasant thought but it was a very real concern for any woman pushing the envelope with a strange man.

For those ten steps back to my own room, all I really wanted to do was flop into a big comfy chair and slouch like hell! Instead, I opened the cabin door and quietly slipped inside where Tim seemed to finally be asleep. "Being a girl isn't always fun," I said very quietly in my male voice.

"Honey? Is that you?" Tim murmured.

I switched back to my feminine voice and said, "Yeah, I'm back. Go to sleep, okay? I'll see you in the morning." I didn't bother kissing him goodnight, either. I just wiped off my makeup, went pee, got into a comfy nighty and fell sleep.

Tim was fully recovered the next day as we arrived at Glacier Bay National Park. I wore a black turtleneck sweater with jeans, gloves, my black peacoat and a black knit cap and a pair of black Gucci sunglasses. Tim said I looked like I was getting ready to go rob a house before saying, "You're the cutest cat burglar I've ever seen."

We spent about six hours on water which, fortunately for him, was as calm as glass and which was so still it provided a perfect reflection of the surrounding terrain. It was one of the most beautiful things either of us had ever seen. There were majestic, snow-covered mountains all around us and although it was cold, it wasn't unbearably so.

It was by dinner time this third day that I was getting agitated with being a girl 24/7. What started out as a thrill was now beginning to wear on me. It was such a pain in the ass to have to have always sit up straight, smile, be pleasant, and cross my freaking legs! I have to admit, it never once crossed my mind this might be a problem. I knew I loved going out as Callie and I'd been in drag for nearly 24 hours a couple of times. Once, I even spent a weekend in my female persona and I'd loved every minute of it. But after three days on board and a fourth spent flying, all I wanted to do was be a guy again! We still had another day on board AND a return flight to Dulles airport in Virginia. I was seriously thinking about telling Tim he'd need to fly back alone so I could be myself a day earlier, but I was sure I wouldn't do that. I knew he'd be hurt and besides that, he'd spent a lot of money on this trip to be with me as Callie so I just had to um...what? Man up? Woman up? Tranny up? Still, I was aching to just flop down and flop out!

We ate dinner alone that evening, but I did see Andy. True to his word, he not only didn't say anything to Tim he didn't even try and speak to me. We made eye contact a couple of times, but that was the extent of it. And mercifully, we didn't have to spend another evening with Ed and Anna. That sounded mean, didn't it? Sorry, but I was in no mood to make silly small talk with the King of Corn. I really didn't even feel much like talking with Tim but forced myself to be cordial.

I let him fuck me that evening but my heart just wasn't in it. I didn't even give him a blow job and that was a first. He didn't say anything about it until the next morning.

"Is everything okay, Callie?" he asked me as I got ready.

"Sure. Why?"

"You don't seem your normal, bubbly self. Did something happen when I was in here by myself?"

I decided not to mention the incident with Andy, but I knew I'd eventually tell him. I played it safe and said, "I think I might be coming down with something. I've felt kind of run down since yesterday."

That seemed to placate him as we prepared for our last port call before returning to Anchorage. We got off the ship in Sitka, the former capitol of Alaska. It's a port town that's bordered picturesquely by the sea and snow-capped mountains. The city has a dual heritage as Russian settlers and the indigenous Tlingit people fought each other in 1804 (the Tlingits won). Today the town is a peaceful cultural blend of the two heritages.