Culture Shock

"You always said that?"

"No. I just made it up."

"Pouts."

"I bet you are pouting too. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm listening."

Elaine sighed. This 'being honest' stuff wasn't easy. "My body gets very sensitive and I have really strong orgasms. God, this is really embarrassing."

"Go on."

"Well, when I cum, if I cum really hard, I can knock myself out."

"Awesome."

Elaine blushed. She had to tell him everything. "And I squirt."

"You squirt?"

"Yes." She sent the blushing little computer face. It wasn't half as red as hers. And her mouth was completely dry.

Seconds passed and she'd begun shaking before Gary started typing. "I've heard of that. Never thought I'd get to see it though. That's great!"

Elaine could hardly breathe. It's okay? "It can be really messy." She sent another blushing face.

"You'll be cleaning it up. Unless I want to."

"I promise I will."

"Good girl."

Elaine read the words over and over. She swallowed again and was pleased to note her saliva glands had started working. "I'm whispering," she typed. "Thank you. I feel better."

"Would you like to imagine sitting on my lap, cuddling in my arms?"

"I'd like that a lot."

"Then I'm opening my arms to you." He sent a smile.

"Climbs into them on your lap."

"Wraps them warmly around you. Leans my cheek on your forehead."

"Mmmmmm. Thank you, Sir."

"We'll do this. For real."

"I can't wait."

"Nor can I, but I want to do more work with you first."

She sat up straighter and uncrossed her legs. "I'll do my best."

"Good girl. That's all I'll ever ask of you. To try to do your best. If you do try, and you are unable to succeed in whatever task I set or requirement I make of you, I'll still be pleased by your effort. I promise you that."

"I like that. That's something I can do."

"I'm pleased."

Elaine relaxed a little. "Then I'm happy."

"Tomorrow I want you to do your journal just before you meet me here around nine P.M. again, okay?"

"Yes, Sir."

"In addition to telling me about your day and about your thoughts, I'd like you to answer a question, this time without doing any research. Just a few paragraphs is fine."

"Okay."

"The question is, 'What does being submissive mean to you?'"

"I can do that."

"Good. I'll look forward to reading your thoughts on it."

"Yes, Sir." More empty seconds passed. Elaine stared at the screen, only dimly aware of her nipples softly pulsing. Instead she was thinking again of how masterfully Gary used 'silence'. And timing. Right on cue he started typing again.

"I dreamed of you last night."

Elaine grinned. "You did?"

"Yeah. One day I'll tell you about it."

"Tease."

"You better believe it."

Elaine let Gary's comment hang in the air a moment. Her hands were moving to the keys and her cheeks were getting hotter as she typed. She could hardly believe her eyes as she pressed 'send'. "When I blush, I get wet."

Before she had a chance to get more nervous, Gary shot back, "How do you know?"

"I... I can feel it."

"You must get wet a lot."

"All the time." Elaine sent a blushing face.

"Poor thing." Gary sent back a wink. "I guess you want me to be gentle with that too."

"I don't know what I want with that. I like how my body reacts. I hate that I can't hide it."

"I have a few ideas."

"Will you call me names?"

"Would you like me to?"

Elaine was going out on a limb here. She felt it in her bones. "Yes." She sent another blush.

"Just a moment. I'm pulling up your checklist."

"Yes, Sir." With her breathing shallow and her hands trembling, Elaine waited for Gary to return.

In barely a minute he did. "Okay. The first time I read this I noticed you said you were happy to be humiliated privately but not publicly."

"It's wrong, isn't it?"

"Elaine..."

She swallowed. "Yes?"

"Nothing is wrong between two consenting, open-minded adults. I want to make your dreams come true, but I don't want to take unfair advantage of you. It pleases me to see you turned on and hot and yes, wet. If you want me to call you names, then that's okay. But they will just be words, and won't necessarily represent my true feelings. Understand that my use of humiliation would be part of a scene. Or sometimes a 'mini-scene'; like if I whisper in your ear or something. But I'd never embarrass you, and certainly not in a public manner."

"So it would only ever be between you and me?" Elaine asked.

"Yes."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"Thank you. I can't believe I'm even admitting all this."

"You are giving me a chance to give you what you need. It's positive and constructive, Elaine."

"But why does the idea of being humiliated turn me on?"

"Hmmm. Good question. How about we get a coffee or something while I think about it?"

"Okay. I need to go to the toilet too."

"All right. I'll see you in a few minutes then."

Elaine made sure she hurried. She wasn't sure why.

"I'm back," she typed.

"So am I. Welcome back."

"Thank you, Sir. You too."

"Smiles. Okay, so the question was, 'Why does the idea of being humiliated turn me on?'"

Elaine blushed and shook her head. "Yes."

"Before we address that question, I think we need to define humiliation in the D/s sense."

"Um, okay."

"Firstly, it would be incorrect to say that humiliation is equal to embarrassment. It's not. Embarrassment is not enjoyable. Humiliation MUST be enjoyable. You have to like it, or it's not humiliation, it's abuse. I think in D/s, we see the whole rainbow of humiliation, from foot worship to orgasm control, from name-calling to 'forced' exhibitionism. Being told to kneel for your Dominant or to serve him before yourself may be considered to be a normal practice, but it could also be called 'humbling yourself '. Humbling yourself before your Dominant is something you would only be expected to do in a D/s setting. You do it 'for' your Dominant; for his and your own pleasure. In this way, what we are talking about is the 'play' of humiliation. Are you following so far?"

"One moment please. I want to read that again."

"Take your time."

Elaine did. She read it three times. "Yes, Sir. I follow. I've never thought about it like that."

"Smiles softly. As with all practices, humiliation must be safe, sane and consensual. I would never say anything deliberately hurtful. Nor would I take advantage of you or embarrass you in public or against your will or somewhere where you might get arrested." He sent a wink.

Elaine giggled and flushed warmly.

Gary continued. "Humiliation, or humbling yourself, progresses through certain barriers that we put in place subconsciously or consciously. The first is timing. An example might be, being required to do something at an unusual moment, like pinch your nipples at the dinner table. The second is being required to 'be' something you are not. Examples may be dressing in a certain way or being called names. The third barrier is submission to pain at the behest of your Dominant. Examples might be the wearing of nipple clamps or being spanked over my knee like a naughty little girl. The final barrier is 'coming out' or going public. Examples might be humiliation in public or confessing your nature to your parents or friends. Depending on the person, these barriers may be crossed at different times or be mixed and matched. Many of the varied 'humiliation scenes' will be too much and the barriers would never be crossed, for whatever reason the submissive, or the Dominant, sees fit. Any questions so far?"

Elaine was amazed. It all started to make sense. "So really what you are saying is that humiliation is an integral part of D/s?"

"What I am saying is that humbling yourself IS D/s. From the wearing of a collar or being leashed, to golden showers or being required to act like a dog, it's all D/s, and it's all humbling yourself before your Dominant."

"I don't want to be peed on."

"LOL."

"Well! I don't!"

"Little one, what I am saying is that everyone has their limits, and we need to discuss EXACTLY what I can and cannot do before I do anything more than the most basic humbling of you. And in any case, you do that yourself."

"I do?"

"You call me, 'Sir', don't you?"

"Yes, Sir." Elaine sent a blushing face.

"Smiles."

"I think I understand."

"The point is, it's consensual, and I'd never do anything you didn't want me to do. Nor would I ever expect you to do something you didn't enjoy doing."

"Thank you."

"You are welcome. Humiliation play is very dangerous in the hands of an inexperienced Dominant. Also, only the mentally strong submissive can handle it."

Now she was confused again. She always thought it was a weakness. "Could you explain please, Sir?"

"Let me give you an example. Say for instance that I called you a 'dirty little slut'. If you really hated being called that, and I persisted, it could actually cause you a great deal of stress, harm, or even mental or emotional damage, particularly if you couldn't stop it."

"I see." Elaine was breathing heavily.

"On the other hand, only a strong submissive could handle being called a dirty little slut. She would know it was part of humiliation play, and would know that her Dominant chose those words because he knew her limits and those limits weren't violated by using them."

At the second mention of being called a 'dirty little slut', Elaine couldn't help clenching her thighs together. She tried to concentrate. "Something is still bothering me. 'Why?' I mean, why is it that it affects me so?"

"That I can't answer. It's how you are wired. It's 'who you are'. Being a submissive means you safely, sanely and consensually put yourself in the hands of your Dominant. You would 'do anything for him' within reason. It's why you are a submissive. And now I've helped you enough with your homework." He sent a wink.

"I never would have thought of this. This changes everything."

"Kind of. It changes the angle you look at it. Saying humiliation is degrading and abusive 'in the D/s context' is looking at it through vanilla eyes. It's not something you need to be embarrassed about. And it's not something I would change about you, even if I could. I like you just the way you are Elaine, and I like you more each time I talk to you." He sent a big grin. "I'm also thinking of lots more to do than we ever could in a weekend!"

"Blushes!"

"Smiles softly. Okay so I'm going to send you the address of a website with a list of about a hundred examples of humiliation play, and I'd like you to rate them as you did with your checklist. You can copy and paste, then send me the result."

"Along with my other homework."

"Yes, along with your short essay on what it means to be submissive. The one I just helped you with."

Elaine hesitated, then typed, "Yes, Sir."

"I get the feeling you are reluctant."

Elaine gulped. She just wanted enough time! "I'm sorry. I just reminded myself that I have a lot of schoolwork to do."

"Thank you for telling me. If I don't know what might encroach on the completion of the tasks I set for you, then I can't give you realistic deadlines. Don't ever be afraid to tell me if you can't do something because of other constraints on your time. I don't have a crystal ball. And I'm human. I can forget things too."

"Yes, Sir."

"You may have two days to complete the homework. Okay?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Tell me about your schoolwork."

"I've just been neglecting it a little. I've been a bit busy and distracted."

"Would it help if you promised me that you will keep up to date?"

"If I promised you?"

"Yes."

Elaine smiled to herself. That would do it! "I promise to keep up to date with my schoolwork, Sir."

"Good girl. I expect to be kept informed of the state of it in your journal each day. If you are up to date, you need only say so. If you are not, detail it for me, okay?"

"Yes. I will. I want to do well."

"Okay. I'll help with that. The desire to better yourself is something I expect of you in all things, Elaine. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." She licked her lips. A hundred things were occurring to her. She felt like an enormous weight had lifted from her shoulders. For the first time in her life, she actually felt proud of who she was, all of who she was, and she wasn't sure why. The weekend seemed so far away. She wished it were sooner. The image of Gary's smiling face gazing down on her as she kneeled before him came to her. Her skin rippled with pleasure and she blushed hotly. Then she smiled. Then she laughed!

"Are you imagining what it would be like to be with me?" Gary asked.

"Yes!" Elaine shuddered with arousal.

"Times it by a hundred."

Chapter 17

Elaine was trying to concentrate on finishing her breakfast but it wasn't easy. It was Monday, she was ready for work with a half hour to spare, and was busy eating her toasted muesli while Kendra and Chelsea chatted about the guys they met the night before.

Elaine wasn't really listening. Thoughts were running through her mind. Thoughts of seeing Gary and of what he might do to her, or make her do. They were the same thoughts that had occurred to her when she'd woken up before her alarm that morning. Remembering what she'd almost done in those few minutes had only made her hotter.

A sleepy mischievous smile had played at the corners of her mouth when she'd woken and seen her clock. After short-circuiting the alarm, her left hand had insinuated its way between her legs and touched her steaming pussy. Realising how wet she was, she'd slid two fingers into herself before she'd known what was happening. Her other hand had brushed over her nipple. Finding it rigid with excitement, she'd suddenly wanted her nipple clamps.

Sitting up had snapped her out of it. Checking the clock again, she'd sighed. Shaking her head, she'd made for the shower. She had to get ready for work.

In equal parts, fear and excitement were rippling over her skin.

One moment she was smiling to herself, tingles of anticipation prickling her scalp and lubricating her aching pussy. The next moment she was staring into space, unconsciously biting her lip as bracing images danced darkly through her mind.

Elaine munched away, while Chelsea was standing at the kitchen bench making coffees for the three girls.

Chelsea had an interview for a waitress job and was dressed up, something unusual for eight in the morning. As she was pouring she glanced at Elaine and asked, "So? Did you speak to him?"

"Yes," Elaine replied, trying not to sound too excited. "I'm going to spend the weekend with him."

"Woohooo!" said Kendra.

"You're what?" Chelsea had frozen like a statue, mid sugar spooning.

Elaine looked up from her cereal having just taken a mouthful. She gulped it down and almost choked. "What? What's wrong?"

Kendra looked like she was wondering the same thing.

Chelsea's mouth was open in shock and her head was cocked to one side. For a split second Elaine thought she looked like a younger, blonder version of her mother. Chelsea shook her head and went back to what she was doing. Then she sighed and said, "You met this guy on the net. You saw him once in a coffee shop. And now you're spending the weekend miles from anywhere on his tin pot horse ranch. I hope you know what you're doing."

Elaine rolled her eyes. Now Chelsea even sounded like her mother. So she told her. "You sound like my mother. I'll be fine."

"What's his name?" Chelsea asked obliviously, handing out their second cups of coffee for the morning and joining the table.

Elaine hesitated for just a second, but thought it couldn't hurt. "'Gary Duke'. From Allen Falls. I'll be getting his address and phone number and confirming they're legitimate. Don't worry."

Chelsea said, "I have a friend in gym class that comes from Allen Falls. I'll ask if she's heard of him."

Elaine was starting to feel defensive. "He's only been there a year or so."

"Abby's parents own the general store. I'm sure they'd have met him."

Elaine thought about it. "Okay. But I'll let him know."

"Hmmm... Yeah. That's smart. Then if you get some weird-ass reaction, you'll know he's a psycho. That's clever, Elaine."

Elaine wasn't sure if that was what she'd intended. She actually meant that she didn't want Gary thinking anything strange was going on. But Chelsea's comment made sense. It wasn't a bad idea

"What are you talking about?" asked Kendra. She'd been yawning and staring into space. She didn't usually eat breakfast.

Chelsea was dumbfounded. "Where have you been the last five minutes, girl? We're talking about Elaine hooking up with this Gary Duke guy. She's staying at his place this weekend."

Elaine added, "And Chelsea thinks it's a bad idea."

"I didn't say that," Chelsea retorted. "I just said you shouldn't rush into it. You only just met him."

Kendra suddenly became animated, like she just woke up. "Well, I've slept with heaps of guys I hardly knew," she said. "I mean, fuck. Knowing them just bores me most of the time."

"Yeah," said Chelsea. "But you're a slut."

"Fuck off, Chelsea. You're no better. I saw you with those twins last night. I bet if they had the balls to ask, you would have left with them. They were hot."

"Yeah, well they didn't." Chelsea blushed and Elaine thought it was interesting.

"Told you," said Kendra, satisfied.

Elaine rolled her eyes and Chelsea shook her head before standing and walking over to the sink. She tipped out her half-finished coffee and headed out. "I gotta go. Wish me luck!"

"Good luck!" Elaine and Kendra said in unison.

From the hallway came the sound of the front door closing and locking. Elaine and Kendra looked at each other and smiled, sipping their coffee. Finally Kendra said, "You know, the best way to find out about a guy is to talk to his last girlfriend."

"I would, but she ran off leaving him at the altar."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure if she'd appreciate me calling her."

"Don't you want to know why she ran off?"

"Gary already told me."

"Yeah. 'Gary' told you. What if he lied? Guys lie as much as we do, you know. If not more."

Elaine set her jaw. "Kendra, I have a really good sense of who Gary is, and I'm sure he wouldn't lie about this stuff. There's no reason to do it. If he did, he'd lose me. He's expecting me to check up on him."

"Then he won't have a problem providing you with her number. If he has nothing to hide, then he'll give it to you. Even if she did leave him at the altar."

"I don't know. What would I say to her? 'Hi, this is Gary's next prospective girlfriend. I was just wondering why you left him? Was there something about him I should know?'"

"Yes! That's perfect!"

Elaine shook her head. "You're crazy."

"No. You're crazy if you think meeting someone over the 'net is like meeting someone randomly in a nightclub. At least at a nightclub it's genuinely potluck. Jeez, Elaine. On the net some weird guy can target exactly the kind of girl he wants. There are chat rooms for everyone; single mothers, college girls, girls into particular bands. God knows what drives some people. Looks, skin colour, hair colour, age, height, build, big tits, small tits. Think of it from the psycho's point of view. It would be fairly easy to find his target if he knew what he was looking for."

Elaine wasn't about to argue. She knew Kendra was right. "I'm not disagreeing, okay. I know it's dangerous out there. I'm taking all the reasonable precautions I can, but I'm not getting ahead of myself either. We haven't made any promises to each other. This is just a 'get to know you', type thing. That's all." She couldn't help but blush.