Copyright © 2014 Charlie the Wanking Wanker and Kingswoman

Written by Charlie the Wanking Wanker, voiced by Kingswoman.

A number of fans wrote to me to say how much they enjoy hearing a lady say 'cunt'. Inspired by this, and by my
Bus Ride story, Charlie the Wanking Wanker has written this beautiful prose poem on the theme. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I was delicately flattered at this evidence of Charlie enjoying Bus Ride so much, and couldn't resist reading the result.

Sometimes people write to me and it's clear they feel ashamed of wanking off or having the saucy inventive fantasies they have or wanting sex. Personally I find nothing cheers up a wet Wednesday so well as retiring to bed for a good wank. Although I actually avoid fucking myself on the bus for fear of being arrested by someone not as sympathetic as PC Perkytits, I think the rush of endorphins from a nice wank can only be good for you. I strongly encourage you to enjoy yourself listening to this story. Imagining inventive sex and enjoying a pleasurable wank is good fun. Being human is about having sexuality and having fun, so go for it, you fucking cunts. As Bramblethorn's Halloween poem shows, we may not even have to stop after we are dead.


* * * * *

Click Here to listen: .mp3 format or .ogg format. (12 min/mp3)

* * * * *

I stand at the bus stop waiting for the number 69 bus to come on this wet and windy day. It's fucking pissing it down, it looks like this day is going to turn out to be a right cunt. A lad that is waiting for the same bus bends down to tie his shoe laces. He then looks up my very short skirt while he is down there, trying to get an eyeful of my lovely cunt.

"Are you looking up my skirt to gawp at my wet cunt"? I ask the stupid cunt.

"Oh er no I am just doing my laces up," replies the perverted cunt - he is all of eighteen or twenty, cocky little fucker.

"You filthy fucking cunt, it's quite fucking obvious that you're looking up my short skirt and there is only one reason why you would be doing that. TO SEE IF YOU CAN SEE MY FUCKING CUNT," I say to this wanker of a cunt. The dribbling cunt is far too young for me to care if he is looking at my cunt ... I mean he is too young to be doing such a filthy disgusting thing as to look at a lady's cunt, at his age the lingerie section of his auntie's catalogue ought to be enough.

The 69 comes along and I get on the bus. I sit near the back hoping the fucking wet-behind-the-ears cunt at the bus stop fucking sits somewhere else. At the next stop a sexy bugger gets on the bus, then the sexy cunt walks up the aisle and sits next to me. I smile at the handsome cunt, he returns the pleasant smile and proceeds to fumble about in a bag that he has.

I don't believe it, this mature handsome cunt is as perverted as the dribbling wet-behind-the-ears brat cunt at the bus stop. The good looking cunt gets a filthy porn magazine out and blatantly begins to flick through it while sat next to me.

As I look over at the porn magazine I see page after fucking page of "Oh juicy wet sloppy fucking cunts, big fucking cocks shoved up cunts. Cunts being finger fucked, lesbians licking out horny fucking cunts, legs spread showing open wet fuck holes," I say in total shock.

"That's cunt," the dishy cunt says.

"I beg your pardon?" I ask.

"You said 'fuck holes', I think you meant to say cunt," says the porn reading cunt. "Is looking at these juicy randy cunts getting your cunt wet, madam?" asks the fucking wanker.

"No my cunt isn't getting wet looking at all those tasty juicy cunts," I respond. "I'm definitely not that kind of girl and you shouldn't be looking at those pictures of hot lick-able cunts in front of me and in a public place like on this bus, you perverted cunt," I continue as I compose myself and look out the bus window.

"You lying tart," exclaims the rude cunt. "Your panties have a big moist patch, your cunt is dripping and fucking horny looking at all those hot wet cunts in my porn magazine," continues the cunt. "Just look at the wet patch you are leaving on that seat, from your juicy hot dripping cunt."

"How dare you," I say, blushing. "My cunt is none of your fucking business, you cunt!"

"I wish it was," says the cheeky cunt. "I would give you a seeing to."

"Excuse me, you rude cunt," I reply tartly. "The chances of you satisfying me are about as small as your dick probably is."

An old biddy sat behind us rummages about in her bag of groceries and pulls out a big fucking cucumber. That cunt of a cucumber must be two inches across at least. "Here you are darling, try this big fucker of a cucumber up your dirty wet cunt," says the old lady to me.

"Well, that does look about my size," I say, admiring the glossy green fat thick clingfilm-wrapped cucumber.

"Go on, let me fuck your cunt with that," the good-looking fuck suggests. "You know you are gasping for it."

I swell up with indignation, but then I remember that if the lady protests too much she usually misses out on a good fuck, so I say: "Oh alright then. Since you are so keen and if nobody on the bus has any objection."

No fucking objections are voiced, in fact there is already a low grunting going on somewhere at the back. The other fucking bus passengers are all avidly staring with their fucking tongues hanging out, and some have hands between their legs already. One fucking cunt of a woman has stood up in the aisle to get a better view.

The good-looking fuck takes the cucumber and puts it between my spread quivering legs. The horny fucker then pulls my panties to one side. He puts the big long fat cucumber to my quivering cunt. Inch by fucking inch the veg disappears up into my hungry cunt. The dishy cunt begins to fuck my well wet and slick cunt with that fat .. ooooh thick long oooh! cucumber! People cheer as the filthy cunt fucks my cunt, other dirty cunts on the bus get their hard fucking cocks out and proceed to wank themselves off. The ladies on the bus finger their cock hungry cunts. I love to see wankers do their wanking. If my cunt were not already wet and succulent from the excitement of seeing pages of juicy slick cunts in the disgusting handsome cunt's filthy porno mag, and from having a fucking cucumber thrust up it, I would be even wetter. "GET YOUR COCKS OUT!" I gently encourage the horny fuckers on the bus. "LADIES! FINGER THOSE CUNTS!"

The filthy handsome cunt is fucking this cucumber up into my slippery dripping cunt. I lay my head back, fail to think about England, and encourage the horny perverted cunt to fuck my cunt harder. "COME ON YOU FUCKING FILTHY CUNT RAM THAT BIG BASTARD CUCUMBER UP MY FUCKING WET TWAT," I scream as the fucker plunges the long cucumber in and out of my cunt.

"That's cunt," the dirty cunt prompts again.

"I beg your pardon?" I ask again in my horny state.

"You said 'twat', I think you meant to say cunt," continues the fucking cunt.

"OH SHUT UP YOU SILLY CUNT," I say, gently encouraging the dirty bastard to fuck my cunt.

I reach over and put my hand on the lap of this handsome bugger. The horny cunt has a huge fucking bulge in his trousers. I unzip his fucking trousers and a 12 inch whopper of a cock springs out.

"OH MY WORD," says the old biddy sat behind us. "That reminds me I must get a German sausage before the weekend," the old lady says.

I look over at the huge throbbing fucking cock. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THAT'S LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A FILTHY PORNOGRAPHIC AUDIO STORY," I squeal, in shock at the size of this monster cock. "I'm not having that thing up my juicy wet fucking pussy!"

"That's cunt" prompts the cunt.

"I beg your pardon," I ask.

"I think you meant to say cunt, you said 'juicy wet fucking pussy'," the dishy cunt again prompts.

"Whatever!" I say. "I can't be having that in my cunt, you cunt, you'll have to take care of it yourself. There's nothing so exciting to me as seeing a good wanker having a really good wank! Keep going with the cucumber while you do it, though."

The dishy fucker with the cucumber in hand resumes pumping my cunt with the green vegetable, while wrapping his other fist round his donkey dick.


The head of the fucking handsome cunt's cock is popping in a delicious manner in and out of his huge fist. If I weren't totally distracted by having a cucumber up my cunt, I would be on my knees sucking the life out of that thing!

The men on the 69 bus are wanking their big stiff cocks to the fucking show that this handsome bastard and I are putting on. What a beautiful sight! The wankers' spunk is flying everywhere, cunt juice is squirting everywhere and even the bus driver is wanking his own gear stick while driving erratically. The bus is weaving all over the road on this fuck fuelled bus ride.

Wait, that reminds me of another incident with a bus weaving uncontrollably all over the road...

Oh never mind that! The fucking becomes more frantic as the handsome cunt pumps the shit out of me with the old lady's cucumber. "FUCK MY FUCKING CUNT YOU DISHY FUCKER. MAKE ME COME ALL OVER THAT BIG GREEN VEGETABLE," I scream as my cunt gets the fucking pounding of its life. "WANK! WANK! WANK!" I shout at the wankers on the bus. "GET THOSE GORGEOUS COCKS SPUNKING! LADIES, FINGER-FUCK YOUR CUNTS! KEEP PUMPING MY FUCKING FANNY YOU CUNT," I scream at the fucking handsome cunt.

"That's cunt" says the sweet old lady.

"I beg your pardon?" I again ask.

"I think you meant to say cunt. You said 'fucking fanny', it should have been fucking cunt," says the old biddy behind us.

"OH FUCK, WHATEVER, CUNT, YES, FUCKING CUNT," I answer the sweet old lady.

The good-looking cunt is giving it to me hard and fast with the sweet old lady's firm fat cucumber. He is giving his donkey dick a right good going. Then the bastard spurts a shit load of spunk up all over my shoulder and into the old lady's face! "I never thought I'd get pudding on the bus!" she exclaims, lapping it eagerly up. My cunt orgasms and creams all over the cucumber. The handsome bastard slips out the cucumber and my cunt drips out dollops of tasty cunt juice onto the floor of the bus.

We both sit back trying to catch our breaths after this hard fucking cunt pounding cock wanking session on the bus. Wankers are still wanking and spunk is still flying, the old biddy gets off at her bus stop putting the cunt slimy cucumber back into her bag of groceries and licking her face. 'No need for salad cream tonight,' I think as I watch the old lady toddle off.

It's my stop. I ring the bell and walk bow-legged down the aisle, past the seats covered and dripping with spunk and cunt juice. I wink at the bus driver, who still has his long fucking cock hanging out of his trousers dripping spunk.

I will definitely be using the 69 bus again very soon.

The End.

Report Story

byKingsWoman© 16 comments/ 52130 views/ 10 favorites

Share the love

Tags For This Story

Report a Bug

1 Pages:1

Please Rate This Submission:

Please Rate This Submission:

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Please wait
Favorite Author Favorite Story

heartfemmephallus, sanddunedude and 8 other people favorited this story! 

by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

There are no recent comments (16 older comments) - Click here to add a comment to this story or Show more comments or Read All User Comments (16)

Add a

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

Refresh ImageYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar: