Cupid has a Bad Day


Then, he put a hand to the back of her head and started really humping her face with his hips.

"Don't touch my hair, fool, I mean, Stedman," said Oprah while briefly removing his cock from her mouth to speak.

"Sorry, Oprah. I didn't mean to touch your hair."

Oprah was really going to town on Stedman's cock, stroking it, licking it, and sucking it. She was making all those great cock sucking sounds that we guys love to hear, when Gayle suddenly appeared.

"Oprah, what the fuck? How could you suck Stedman's cock, of all people? You're lesbian. You're my bitch, bitch."

"Gayle, I'm so sorry," said Oprah removing Stedman's cock from her mouth to talk, "but I don't know what suddenly came over me," she said looking from Gayle to Stedman and back to Gayle. "But I love Stedman. I truly do," said Oprah filling her mouth with Stedman's cock again.

"And I love Oprah," said Stedman. "Oh, yeah, that's right, baby. Suck my cock, Oprah."

"Oh, yeah? Is that so," said Gayle. "Well, then, this is a good time to tell you that Tyra Banks and I have been having an affair behind your back. We love each other and are running away to Pago Pago."

"You cheating bitch," said Oprah to Gayle briefly removing Stedman's cock again from her mouth to speak before quickly reinserting it. "After all I've done for you. I even gave you your own talk show. If I didn't have Stedman's cock in my mouth, I'd beat your black ass silly."

"Cocksucker," said Gayle to Oprah turning and walking away. "You're not the queen of talk shows, you're the queen of blowjobs."

"Why you stupid bitch," said Oprah removing Stedman from her mouth, getting up, and bitch slapping Gayle across the face before picking her up and body slamming her and then stomping on her head.

"Easy Oprah, easy. C'mon, let's get out of here," he said taking her by her arm and out the back way.

Once in the back of the limousine and driving home, Oprah started blowing Stedman again. She couldn't help herself. As soon as Oprah filled her mouth with Stedman's cock again, he exploded a giant load of cum in her willing mouth. It was a magical moment. It was love.

Cupid hovered at the ceiling watching all the celebrities. He was satisfied that he was stirring up some shit and making his job more interesting, his life less boring, and this Valentine's Day unforgettable. Then, he spotted them together talking business.

There in the distant corner was Bill Gates and Michael Dell. Cupid reached for two arrows and fired shot them hitting Bill and Michael in the asses. Immediately, Bill and Michael left the function room and had gay sex in Bill's limousine.

"Bill," said Michael, "how would you like me to make your software harder by stroking and sucking on your joystick?"

"Oh, Michael, that would just tickle my fancy for you to do that. I'd love it. Then, later, maybe I'd love to feel your hard drive up my parallel port," said Bill.

Both men removed their pants and underwear and sexually interfaced by French kissing before sharing their most intimate technologies with one another, while having gay sex.

"I love you, Bill."

"And I love you, too, Michael."

"Now that we have this new gay alliance" said Bill, "maybe we can start a new company called...WinDell."

"Sure, absolutely, only I prefer the name DellDow better," said Michael.

Cupid wasn't finished, yet. He looked for one more victim. He needed to shower his arrows of love to those who were too proud, too self-centered, and too selfish to ever fall in love. Then, he spotted them. There they were all talking together.

Tiger Woods and Condalisa Rice were talking with President and First Lady Obama. Cupid reached behind him and pulled out four arrows from his quiver. A feat that couldn't even be matched by the legendary Robin Hood, he fired all four arrows simultaneously hitting everyone in the ass at the same exact time. The President invited Condalisa and Tiger back to the Oval office for a tour of the White House. With the Secret Service in tow the four returned to the inner sanctum and privacy of the Oval Office at the White House where the four of them had group sex.

"Condalisa how would you like to see my Presidential Seal?"

"I'd love to put my mouth of approval around it, Mr. President," said Condalisa, while putting on fresh lipstick.

"Tiger," said Michelle Obama looking down at Tiger's crotch, "is that a putting iron in your pants or are you happy to see me?"

"That's my personal driver, Mrs. Obama. Would you like to see it?"

"Not only would I love to see your personal driver, Tiger, but also I would love to hold your personal driver in my hand, before taking it in my mouth, in my pussy, and up my ass," said Mrs. Obama.

"Mrs. Obama, you sure know how to sweet talk a man," said Tiger. Immediately Tiger unzipped his pants and took out his cock to show the first lady.

"Please call me Michelle," she said unzipping her dress and allowing it to fall to the floor.

She grabbed her knee pads from the President's desk drawer and put them on her knees. Then, she fell to her knees and took Tiger's erect cock in hand and in mouth.

First Lady Obama was blowing Tiger Woods. She was really going to town on his cock.

"Fore," yelled Tiger suddenly, as he pushed Michelle back on the carpet, fell between her long, black legs, and mounted her. "I'll be playing through this hole," he said slapping her big, round and full, black ass.

Meanwhile, back at the rehearsal, still not done, Cupid looked around the function room, even going outside to see who else was arriving. He couldn't believe his eyes. Oh, how perfect, he thought. This is just too good to be true.

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton were just arriving to the affair when Cupid fired three arrows simultaneously. As soon as the arrows hit them in their asses, the three women returned to their limousine and drove away, while having lesbian sex in the backseat.

"We need to have a chain," said Britney reaching in her purse and handing Paris a dildo.

"Lick my pussy," said Paris to Lindsay.

"Stick that dildo up my ass," said Britney to Paris.

Topsy-turvy, a crazy world of love, what was up had suddenly become down when Cupid lost his desire to continue to make people fall in love. He felt better after his little revenge tirade and couldn't wait to return home to Mount Olympus in Greece after moving from Mount Olympus in Washington state.

Yet, first, flying to the set of the Bachelor, he fired arrows in all of the remaining four women, but not the bachelor and now all the women wanted one another. No one wanted the Bachelor. They had to shut the show because the women were more interested in other women than they were in the bachelor or in any man.

Cupid returned home to Mount Olympus Washington satisfied that he had helped so many people fall in love.

"How was your day, Cupid?"

"My day? Oh, I had a wonderful Valentine's Day, Psyche. Thank you for convincing me to not shirk my duties. Come with me to the bedroom. I have something to show you."

"Is is something that I can hold?"

"It is."

"Is it big and hairy?"

"It is," said Cupid.

"Oh, Cupid," she said. "You bought me a dog."

"No, but you can bark like a dog, while I have sex with your naked body."


Then, as if he was a potential American Idol contestant, he started to sing.

"Cupid draw back your bow and let your arrow go straight back to my lover's heart for me, for me. Cupid, please hear my cry and let your arrow fly straight to my lover's hear for me. Now, I don't mean to bother you but I'm in distress. There's danger of me losin' all of my happiness. For I love a girl who doesn't know I exist and this you can fix."

"Honey, you really need a hobby," said Psyche. "You're starting to refer to yourself in the third person and that's not good."

"Sam Cooke wrote that song for me in 1961. I just love it."

"I know and after listening to you singing it for 50 years, I hate it."

"So, Cupid, draw back your bow and let you arrow go straight to my lover's heart for me, nobody but me. Cupid, please hear my cry and let your arrow fly straight to my lover's heart for me. Now, Cupid if your arrow make a lover storm for me I promise I will love her until eternity. I know between the two of us her heart we can steal help me if you will. So, Cupid, draw back your bow and let your arrow go straight to my lover's heart for me, nobody but me. Cupid, please hear my cry and let your arrow fly straight to my lover's heart for me."

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