Curiosity Ch. 02byfreelancer722©
There's something about not seeing someone who you used to see and hang out with literally every day that is hugely depressing. Once you see them again though it's like a weight is lifted off your shoulders and all is well again. Such was the case when we all got back from winter break. I was mostly excited about being able to see Ty again but I didn't realize how happy I would be to see Bethany again until I actually did. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to see Emma and Adam and everyone else too but for some reason when I saw Bethany I could barely contain the huge smile that spread across my face. I'm sure it looked ridiculous but she didn't seem to care as she just ran up to me and hugged me as hard as she could.
"Jamie! I missed you sooo much!" She practically yelled in my ear as she held me tight and refused to let go even after I had clearly stopped hugging her back. Not that I minded, I actually quite enjoyed the feeling of our bodies pressed so close together. Seriously? It's been two seconds and you're already thinking like that! My brow furrowed as I mentally scolded myself and I started to detach myself from her. I quickly changed my expression to one of happiness so that she wouldn't think something was wrong and I told her I missed her too and break was good but disappointingly boring and that's when Emma came through the room and we basically repeated the greeting.
We all sat and talked for the next couple of hours, again jumping up and getting excited when Adam came bursting through the door, ceremoniously stepping through the door and announcing his arrival with a fake British accent, "Sir Adam Jonathon Willionson the third has returned!" And so we had to restart all of our stories but we really didn't mind since we were all enjoying being in one another's company again.
It took much less time to settle into a routine than it did first semester and soon we were back to the same old same old. Nothing noteworthy happened until about a month later when I was hanging out with Emma and she suddenly looked up from her book and said, "oh shit!"
"What?" I responded groggily as I had been taking a nap on her couch, a very common occurrence especially after my psychology lecture ends at three on Mondays and Wednesdays and it happened to now be Wednesday at 4:15.
"I'm supposed to meet my group at 4:30 at the library today!"
"Well you better get going, it's a 15 minute walk."
"I know," she said as she frantically grabbed things and shoved them in her backpack. She paused for a second and asked, "wait...isn't there a bus that comes at 4:23?"
"That goes away from the library not towards it." My monotone but slightly annoyed voice answered.
"Fuck." She swore under her breath and continued to grab things and then slung her backpack on. "I'm leaving so don't go anywhere until Bethany gets back or we can't lock the door."
"Did you hear me?"
"Yeah, don't leave, Bethany, door, got it." I mumbled
"Are you just going back to sleep?" she asked but I didn't respond, I was already unconscious.
Tsk that girl Emma thought to herself with an amused smile on her face as she hurried down the hall to try and not be too late for her meeting.
* * * *
Bethany got back to her dorm and was surprised to find Emma gone. She thought about waking Jamie up to ask her where she went but she looked so peaceful sleeping she just couldn't. This was literally the girl of her dreams, sleeping on her couch dreaming and there was no way she would interrupt that.
She sat down in her chair and sighed as she watched Jamie. How could she tell her about this? She's always considered herself to be straight, she'd never even considered being with another woman before, plus whenever they even mention lesbians, even just joking about how Jamie must secretly be one because she was big into sports, Jamie would get really mad. Clearly she must be 100% straight and that made Bethany sad. This girl had thrown her for a loop and there wasn't even a chance that if she somehow got over having to change her lifestyle and tell her very Christian parents that she was dating a girl that it would even work out. So she sat there for the next few minutes just admiring this girl who, in her eyes, was the most gorgeous creature she had ever seen, as she lay there on her couch curled up in a ball like she always is when she's sleeping. She turned over and when she did she exposed quite a bit of her neck and it gave Bethany an idea.
Jamie was a sound sleeper, she figured she could probably kiss her while she was sleeping and she wouldn't even know it. This thought got her heart beating really fast and she knew that if she was going to do it that this was the most perfect opportunity. She moved towards the couch and slowly walked towards Jamie, accidentally tripping over a book and catching herself on the back and arm of the couch, not daring to breathe and hoping that Jamie hadn't woken up despite the couch having moved beneath her.
When she was satisfied that her friend was still off in dreamland she stepped back and then lowered herself onto her knees in front of her. She reached out with one hand and gently caressed her face, palm sliding along her jaw as her thumb traced her cheek and down over her slightly parted lips. If her heart wasn't racing before it certainly was now as she licked her lips and slowly started to move forward. She was maybe a centimeter from Jamie when she heard the door being unlocked and she shot up and ran into the bathroom.
Emma came in and dropped her bag on the floor and slumped down into her chair while making a very exaggerated sigh.
Jamie woke up when the bag hit the floor.
Bethany came out of the bathroom shortly after, extremely disappointed at what just happened, but hid it and asked Emma where she had been.
Emma explained and once she was done Bethany asked if they wanted to watch The Notebook. Emma agreed immediately but Jamie said no.
"I'm still really tired so I think I'm just gonna go back up to my room and sleep. See you guys tomorrow."
"Ok" they both said at the same time although Bethany sounded more disappointed than Emma.
"See ya!" Emma added as Jamie walked out the door.
Bethany popped in the movie and sat back in her chair, she watched the movie but her thoughts were running wild with what could have just happened.
* * * *
As soon as Jamie had closed the door behind her she took one step, two steps, and then pressed her back against the wall and slid down until she was sitting.
What Bethany hadn't known was that she had awoken when her friend fell onto the couch. For whatever reason she had decided to pretend to still be asleep, in her newly woken state she figured she had just fallen on her way to get the remote or something. She hadn't considered that her friend was actually about to make a move on her. Of course she wouldn't though, Bethany was straight so she had no reason to even suspect that and she was straight too right? Right, she had a boyfriend and everything. But even though she was surprised when she felt Bethany's hand on her face, she was almost more surprised by the electricity she felt and the warmth that lingered afterwards, especially on her lips. It had taken all of her will power not to do either of the things that she was incredibly tempted to do; she had to fight to not just grab Bethany's face in her hands and kiss her but she also had to fight just as hard if not harder to not jump up and run away. This internal struggle was what had given Bethany the time to get so close to kissing her and when Jamie heard the door and felt Bethany leave her she was simultaneously relieved and saddened.
She sat there for a while, her inability to decide how she really felt eating her up inside. Eventually she got up, if only from fear of Bethany coming out into the hall, and went to her room. She texted Ty and told him to come to her room. She honestly just wanted to talk to him but when she got his response and it said "ive got 4 condoms, that gonna be enough? ;)" she changed her mind and suddenly wanted nothing more than to have him fuck her into a pleasure induced coma so she replied, "not by a long shot, but don't worry I have some here =)"
When he got there she was naked.
* * * *
Jamie woke up to her roommate's alarm at 8am.
"Uhnnn...." She groaned and then rolled out from under Ty and got off her bed to shut her alarm off. She made a mental note to unplug it the next time that her roomie was out of town for the week and then crawled back into bed.
"Morning babe." Ty said and kissed her forehead.
"Morning." She responded and then cuddled back up to him.
"What time is it?" he asked.
"Ha funny babe but no, you know I've got an 9am on Thursdays, do I have to go now?"
"You never have to go" she snuggled closer to him
"You know, you're cute, but I can't miss that class, it only meets once a week. Now I'm going to ask you again," he asked her like a parent asking a guilty kid a question they already know the answer to, "what time is it?"
"It's noon, you missed class, stay."
He laughed again and he started to get up while Jamie protested. "I don't want to go babe but I have to."
"You don't have to do anything."
"I have to go to class and be a good boy" he told her while he kissed her on each cheek.
"From what we did last night I would say you no longer qualify to be a 'good boy'" she flirtily responded as he kissed her on the nose.
He laughed again, "You know you might be right but I do have to go."
"Nooooo, stayyy" she pleaded.
"I can't" he pulled his shirt back on.
"Really!?" she sat up in bed.
"No silly! But I will be back."
Now annoyed and actually dreading being alone she tried to beg one more time, "Please Bethany stay."
"What?" he turned around and looked at her confused.
Realizing her mistake she tried to recover, "I said please stay; it's too early for me to even think straight...stay."
Ty looked at her for an almost uncomfortable amount of time before he decided that it was early and his girlfriend was not a morning person and Bethany was her best friend so it was an easy mistake to make. "I wish I could but I can't," he kissed her on the lips and then said, "I'll call later...I love you."
Now it was Jamie's turn to look at Ty. They hadn't said the 'L' word yet, and she knew that she did like him a lot, like really a lot, but she was still confused by Bethany and didn't want to make a promise she couldn't keep. She bit her bottom lip and then kissed him again, harder than he had kissed her, and looked him in the eye and said, "I love you too."
He smiled and gave her another peck before leaving. Once he was gone Jamie had to convince herself out loud that she did love Ty, that whatever she felt for Bethany was just curiosity and nothing more and she wouldn't let that get in the way of what she and Ty had. She rolled over and tried to go back to sleep but she couldn't so she got up and did something she very rarely did -- she went for a run.
Once outside the dorms she stretched for a few minutes, cranked up her volume on her iPod, and then started to run. She wasn't paying attention to anyone around her, when she ran she ran to think about her life, she didn't muddle up her concerns with what some girl is wearing or whether that guy on his longboard who just wiped out is okay. So it really didn't register with her that she ran right past Bethany on her way back from class or that her face was still slightly red and puffy around her eyes, evidence that she had been crying a lot last night and early this morning.
In all Jamie ran about 8 miles. During that run she had made a plan of action for fixing everything that was wrong. It took her about 7 miles to figure it out but when she did it was so simple that she lost track of where she was going and almost tripped when she thought of it.
As she showered she went over just how it would go in her head. She practiced what she would say and do a hundred times as she washed her body and shampooed her hair. She thought of every possible outcome and was prepared for any one of them. She got out and dried herself off and then made herself up. She wore a simple but cute outfit, put on just enough eye makeup to accentuate her blue-green eyes and noticed that today they were looking especially blue which made her happy. She brushed on a little bit of blush and put some lip color on to make her lips pop. She scrunched her hair but left it in its half-dry state and swept it into a side ponytail. Once she was satisfied with her hair she looked into the mirror and she was almost surprised at how...amazing she looked. She was never one for getting dolled up and she had kind of low self-esteem, she had never really thought of herself as pretty before, but this girl looking back at her in the mirror was unmistakably beautiful. She only looked for a little while, noticing that she was starting to blush with embarrassment since she was basically checking herself out with is something she doesn't do, and then she was on the move.
* * * *
Bethany had showered and put on pajamas since her day was now done after the one class and debated texting Jamie. She knew her friend only ran when she was doing intense thinking, she mentioned it once while she was drunk, and she didn't want to bother her but she also wanted Jamie to know she was there for her. She had a blank message staring her in the face for a good five minutes as she went back and forth between texting and not texting when she heard her door open and saw Jamie walk in. She looked stunning.
* * * *
Jamie had practically marched her way to Bethany's room, determined to put whatever this was behind her so she could honestly say she was in love with and had feelings for Ty and only Ty.
But now she hesitated.
All of the doubts that she had from all the scenarios came rushing back to her and she started to back away from the door. What if this destroys our friendship? What if she gets mad at me? What if I make whatever feelings she has for me worse? What will happen to our group of friends? What if I fall in love with her? NO! her inner voice practically screamed its rejection at that last thought. You love Ty. You are straight. You are only doing this so that your friendship can move forward, clearly she has some sort of feelings for you and this will help extinguish her curiosity and yours for that matter. You are straight, just go in there and prove it.
She took a deep breath and marched back towards the door. She didn't bother knocking, she knew it would be unlocked and she knew Bethany would be there but Emma wouldn't. She walked in and paused for a second registering where Bethany was and then she continued forward. Bethany looked at her and said "Hey what's --" but she never finished her sentence.
Jamie had grabbed her face with her hands and brought face close enough so that their lips were just barely touching. She could feel Bethany's breathing momentarily stop and she heard her friend's voice from months ago. I don't want Emma, I want you. As soon as she heard those words she closed the rest of the gap and embraced her in an extremely deep and impossibly passionate kiss, one that seemed to convey to Bethany that she had pent up feelings for her and she could feel from the way that Bethany responded past the initial shock that she felt the same. Everything was going according to plan, she would kiss Bethany, they would both realize that they felt nothing, and then they would both move on with their lives and remain friends. So far she had accomplished the kiss. She was prepared for any situation where Bethany would yell at her after or slap her or want to talk to her about it but despite the fact that she had thought about the possibility that she would actually like the kiss, she hadn't realized that that one kiss would open the floodgates.
Her plan from there on out shattered into a million pieces. She lost all sense of time or control and hungrily kissed her best friend, their tongues intertwining in a dance where neither led the other, they just moved together exploring one mouth then the other and then back. Their lips slid against one another as they devoured all their lust and passion that had been released into that one kiss.
Eventually they slowed down, turning from a desperate kiss to more tender and cherishing one. Jamie pressed her forehead against Bethany's then separated her lips from her friends and looked into her eyes. She wanted so much to have not enjoyed that, she was straight, she loved Ty, this wasn't who she wanted to be. But she couldn't help herself from stealing another quick kiss from Bethany.
Bethany could see the fear in Jamie's eyes, she could tell that what just happened had not gone as planned and she felt bad for her friend. She knew exactly how she felt, she was just as confused by what had just happened and was ashamed at how hard her nipples felt and at the wetness she could feel building from her core. She looked back at her friend with all the same mixture of confusion, lust, panic, and desire and tried to convey to her friend that she had no idea what the hell was going on either.
They stayed like that for a long time, their breathing slowly going back to normal, both wondering what was going on and why they felt the way they did and how their friend felt about what they had just shared.
Jamie was the first to speak.
"I love Ty."
The words hit Bethany like a slap in the face and she winced. She didn't know why that hurt so much, after all nothing was actually going to happen between them, she couldn't change her whole life like that, but nonetheless it still hurt that after all that passion between them the first thing Jamie mentioned was Ty.
"Okay." Was the only response that she could muster.
"I really do.....I love him.....I do..."
"I believe you." Bethany answered, getting slightly upset that she wouldn't stop mentioning it.
"I can't leave him."
For whatever reason Bethany snapped, "Then why did you do that? Huh!?"
Jamie didn't answer her.
"Why did you come in here and kiss me with so much damn feeling that I felt like I was going to explode? And then you tell me that it meant nothing to you? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" her voice steadily raised as she went on and at the end she was practically screaming at her friend.
She still didn't answer, in fact she wouldn't even look at Bethany.
"It didn't mean nothing" Jamie whispered so quietly that Bethany almost didn't hear it but seeing as it was dead silent in the room it was loud and clear to her.
"Then what did it mean?" Bethany responded much calmer and quieter than before.
Jamie started to say something but Bethany interrupted to say "look at me."
She looked up and started again, "It meant that for the past few months I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I've tried so hard and I just couldn't control it. If I didn't do something about it it would've eaten away at me until it ruined my relationships and I couldn't take it anymore. I figured I wouldn't feel anything like what I feel when I kiss Ty and I could put it to rest then as just curiosity. And I was sort of right, it didn't feel like what I feel with Ty. It was so much better and that's why it makes it so hard for me to say that..." she trailed off and tried to compose herself but was failing. Soon she had tears falling down her cheeks and she repeated, "I have to say that...that I..." and then she broke.
She fell to her knees and started sobbing uncontrollably and Bethany rushed to her and held her. She rocked her and made soothing noises to console her friend. A little while later Jamie stopped crying, or rather had calmed down enough to say what she sad to say.