Curve Balls

I want to thank you all for coming to the service. I really appreciate it, and I'm sure that Taz would have too. Having read his posts I know that he would have been really happy to see you two together at last Sean and Luke. He had a knack of knowing when people are right for each other.

I couldn't believe how many people were there. I didn't know Taz had so many friends. Siani looked beautiful and Josh... I'm so glad she let him be there. It must have been hard for him but he got to say goodbye to his dad. There were so many flowers, everywhere.... so bright and colourful... just like him. I put the picture of Bali on the coffin because that's where he was going, where his mind was.

I've decided to take the trip... for both of us. I've quit my job and put the house on the market.... I'm leaving it in the hands of agents. I just can't bear to be in it any more. I know we didn't live together for long but the house is so full of him, far more than it ever was of Bobbi. I can't deal with it.... I just... can't....

So I'm staying in a hotel for a couple of days until the final arrangements are made and then I'm off to Bali on Saturday. I feel somehow that I owe it to him, that if I take the trip, somehow he will be there with me, somehow his spirit will be free.

I won't be in touch for a while because I am not taking the laptop with me. It's part of the.... I don't know... the quest I suppose....to do it without technology. I'll let you know how it went when I come back. I hope by then I will be more.... I hope I will be.

Thank you again.

Reply by Minuteman: July 15 2008: 15.45

Take care, my friend. We'll be here when you get back

Reply by AngelEyes: July 15 2008: 21.20

We owe you so much, you and Taz. Luke and I would never have got together without you. It's been breaking my heart so I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Take care. We're waiting for you.

Reply by BobiDazzler: July 15 2008: 23.12

We'll miss you dude. But take your time. Whatever you need to find your way. We're all thinking about you. Take the journey and find your way home.

JOE'S BLOG: FINAL ENTRY: JULY 19 2008: 06.15

I'm on my way. The adventure of a lifetime hey!? See you on the other side.

IN MEMORY OF TARREN MCALISTAIR

2ND FEBRUARY 1987 – 2ND JULY 2008

There is no way to express how I feel. I miss you is so inadequate. I feel you with me all the time and I know you will be with me every step of the way on this, our last great adventure together.

I have known you such a short time but that was the only time in my life when I was ever truly alive.

I have spoken to Siani and she has told me that I can still be a part of Josh's life so I can take care of him for you. I promise you that. No matter where I go or what I do I will make sure that Josh is okay. Allan is a good man and will be a good father to him but I will make sure that there is always someone who will keep you alive for him, and I will die before I let him be hurt... by anyone... ever.

I will walk on the beach and watch the sun set, just like your sun has set. And I will walk on the beach and watch the sun rise. Your smile has always been the rising of the sun for me and every time I see it I will think of that smile, the one you saved just for me. I would give anything to see that smile again.

There is so much I can say but there is little that you don't already know so I will just say this: I love you Taz. I will always love you and I will miss you until I take my last breath. When life throws those curve balls at me, with you at my back I will just hit them straight back... right into the heart of the sun... where you are.

Goodnight my love.