Cut My Hair

"I mean I'd love to, but," she says, "I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. I bought you here so you'd be safe, not so that I could take advantage of you."

I lift my head, not really believing what I just heard from this blonde goddess standing in front of me. "Believe me Kjersten, I don't think it'll be any hardship for me."

She grins. "But you are right about one thing, you're not really all that pretty." She pauses, hand rubbing her chin, looking me up and down. "You're more of a gorgeous, I think. I mean honestly, I can't believe you're still here."

"You make good coffee."

"Wow, thanks. You sure know how to make a girl feel special," she says, frowning. But there's a twinkle in her eye, and the corners of her mouth are already starting to turn upward.

I smile. "That's not what I ..." But I don't get a chance to finish. Kjersten's lips are already on mine. I feel her hand cupping my ass. She gives me a squeeze and I wince.

"Oh, sorry," she says, releasing me from her embrace. "I forgot."

"It's alright." I pull her back in.

She places her hand a bit higher. I wince again. Kjersten tries another re-positioning and that too is followed by another grimace. Finally her hands drop until they meet mine. She takes my fingers in her grasp. "Maidali, can I see?"

I stand stock still as Kjersten moves her hands to the hem of my dress and begins to lift. I keep my eyes glued to the floor and hold my breath. I am too ashamed to meet her gaze, ashamed of how weak she will think I must be to let someone do what he did to me.

First to be exposed is the reminder bruise on my thigh, the one that's purple with the yellowish-green border. I hear Kjersten suck in a breath as she lays eyes on it. Her hands inch my dress higher and more of my skin is exposed. I know most of it is covered in varying shades of purple, yellow, and green.

He always did it where it would be hidden by clothing, even something as skimpy as the dress I am wearing since last night. Now that the veil is being stripped away and I'm exposed, I am afraid of Kjersten's judgment.

I squeeze my eyes shut so I won't have to see the look of horror on her face, the same disgusted look I see each morning when I look in the mirror. As I feel my dress being lifted over my head, a single hot tear escapes and begins running down the side of my nose. I shiver.

"Oh my god Maidali, what did he do to you?" She gently touches her fingers to the skin nearby some of my fresher bruises.

"I'm sorry," I say, choking back a sob.

I hear Kjersten sniffle. "Not your fault, honey. Not your fault." She pulls my head to her chest.

"You're probably wondering how -- how I could let somebody do this to me." I pause to choke back another sob. "I -- I didn't have anywhere to go. I ..." I try to choke back the next one too, but it doesn't work. I can't stop the tears and I can't stop shaking.

"Shh, I've got you. You're safe now. Shh." Kjersten holds my head to her chest for a few minutes, and I concentrate on the sound of her heartbeat together with the cascading water of the shower, while I try to regain my composure.

She kisses the top of my head. "Don't blame yourself for this, Maidali. Not your fault."

Every time she says that I start to loose it, and this time is no different. I bawl my eyes out for a good five minutes. And the funny thing is, all I can think about the whole time is how much of Kjersten's hot water I'm wasting.

Finally, my breathing returns to normal. I lift my head and look at the snot and tear-stains I've left on her t-shirt. "I -- I'm ..." I start.

Kjersten senses what I'm about to say and presses her finger to my lips. "Don't you dare say you're sorry," she tells me. "It's just a shirt. It'll wash out." She places her hands on my shoulders, but I can't meet her gaze.

"Maidali, please don't think I'm a perv or anything, but I want to get some pictures." Kjersten squeezes my shoulders in her hands, massaging them gently. "Just your bruises. For evidence."

"It doesn't matter, they'll say I was asking for it."

"This isn't kinky sex, honey. This is abuse." She pauses. "I should probably get your face in the pictures, but you can cover your privates."

Kjersten runs off and returns with her phone a few seconds later. I haven't moved, I'm still standing naked in her bathroom, waiting. I feel small.

"Cover if you want to." She waits until I've placed my fingers over my nipples and raises her phone. Click. She moves to the left.

The phone is hovering just below my shoulder where there are four finger-sized bruises. I shudder at the memory of his hand squeezing me there, gripping me so hard that I cried as he forced me down to my knees. Click.

She moves to the right, focusing in on the bruise I got when I was late preparing dinner. Click. There are others.

"I need to get your thighs too," she says.

I drop my hands and Kjersten frowns. I know she's looking at the parallel stripes across my breasts that are in various stages of fading.

"Oh my god. Your nipples are bruised. How ..." She stops mid-thought and pulls me in for a hug instead. I don't even try to answer, I just drape my arms around her waist and heave a sigh. I feel a hot tear land on my shoulder. It's not one of mine.

"I'm wasting your water," I say.

"I'm not crying over wasted water, Maidali." Kjersten sniffles and kisses me on the forehead. We cling together for a minute or two before she kneels down to resume photographing. I slip my hand between my legs to cover my sex. The running shower is making it warm and steamy in here, but I shiver anyway.

"All done," she announces, and places her phone on the vanity.

I look at her, and she reaches up with her thumb to wipe my cheek. "Join me," I say. "Please?"

Kjersten says nothing for a while, but when she removes her glasses I know that my wish will be granted. I watch her grab the hem of her t-shirt. The one that's covered with my snot and tears. She pulls it up to reveal two of the most perfectly formed breasts I've ever laid eyes upon.

But I don't see them as sexy. I want to, I really do, but right now I just see them as comfort. I lay my head down and Kjersten pulls me in. She has one arm draped lightly over my shoulders and her hand stroking the back of my head.

"Thank you," I say. It's really not enough to express how I feel right now, but that's all I can come up with at the moment.

"Check the water," she says. "Make sure it's not too hot."

I reach in and stick my finger under the stream. "It's OK."

Kjersten discards her remaining clothing and the two of us step in.

*

We stand together in the stream of water saying nothing. Kjersten towers over me, but I am not afraid of her. She reaches over to pick up a cloth and a bottle of body wash. The shower smells like a gardenia plantation as soon as she pops the cap.

The flowery scent coupled with Kjersten's gentle motions over my arms is enough that I feel my muscles begin to slacken. All the tension I've been holding in my shoulders since last night releases a little more with each pass of the cloth. I close my eyes.

For a moment I can imagine the two of us standing together in a beautifully manicured garden. Kjersten is plucking flowers and weaving them into my hair. We're going somewhere, maybe floating down a river together, I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's a beautiful summer day and I've never been happier.

"Tilt your head back and rinse," she says, interrupting my daydream. "Then you can do me."

I smirk at the naughty thought that pops into my head as soon as the words cross her lips.

"What's so funny?" she says.

"Nothing." I lower my gaze and pass the cloth over her shoulders and arms. "How does a sociologist get so ripped?" I ask. I let my finger trace out one of the stars on her shoulders as I wait for her to respond.

"Must be all those heavy books."

I just stare. She's apparently dead serious, she doesn't smile, she doesn't even blink. Finally, I hear her snort and she breaks into a huge grin.

"Had you there for a minute. Actually, it's from rowing. I'm part of The Crew here at the university. We were state champs in two-thousand sixteen. That's when I got these." She places a finger on one of the stars.

I move my fingers to join with hers, and together we trace out the remaining stars, uncovering them from beneath the soapy suds. "I think I like rowing," I say.

Kjersten grins, so I take a chance and lift my head so that my mouth meets hers. Her lips are warm and inviting. I feel her quiver slightly as I slide my tongue over them and she parts to give me access. I feel her tongue press against mine, and a shudder runs the length of me.

If I could say here forever I would.

Kjersten releases me from her embrace and takes a half step back. "Are you sure you're OK with this? After everything that's happened?"

I nod and point to a bruise. "Will you kiss it and make it better?"

"You know that doesn't really work, right?"

"I'm a strong believer in the placebo effect." I pull her closer until our bodies are pressed so tightly that the water has nowhere to go, and begins to collect in little pockets here and there between us. "I'd like to try." I bat my eyelashes, just for effect.

Kjersten doesn't make any more attempts to dissuade me, instead she lowers her head to my neck and kisses me just below the ear.

"There's no bruise there," I say.

"Control group," she says. "To see if the treatment is effective or not. Did you not pay any attention when I explained research methods? Jeez." She's smiling as she gazes down on me, and her fingers are trailing gently up and down my back.

"Honestly, I was just staring at your boobs the whole time." I don't give her another chance for a snappy comeback. I press my lips to hers and pull her back in. I point to the bruise at the top of my breast and Kjersten's mouth is there shortly after to offer a gentle kiss.

I point to another spot where there is no bruise. "Control group," I whisper. I feel Kjersten vibrate as she laughs, but when her lips press in around my tender flesh she is no longer so amused. She's something else now. Determined, I think is the word I would choose.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders, trying to pull her closer, to encourage her determination. "Oh god, I love the control group."

"You're funny," she says. "I liked you before, but now that you're smiling -- it's just -- you're so much prettier when you're not sad."

I say nothing, just point to a control group on the other side. Kjersten wastes no more time with witty banter and goes straight to work. I squirm and arch my back as she swirls her tongue over my skin. God, she knows how to make a girl feel good.

Before long our lips have joined together again. I feel her tongue invading my mouth and I press back at it. We battle back and forth for another minute before I am forced to come up for air. While I stand heaving, Kjersten is sliding her fingertips over my back. It's just shy of a tickle, and I shudder yet again.

"Oh, god," I moan. "You're so good."

I've got my arms wrapped around her, hands up in an attempt to grip her shoulders. She's taller than me by quite a bit and I only manage to reach the tip of her shoulder-blades. Kjersten doesn't seem to mind though as she writhes under my touch.

The water of the shower lubricates my movements, making it easy to glide over the rippling muscles of her back. Every movement of my hands over her sets off a little tremor under my fingertips. And a little quivering in my thighs to match.

I want her so badly. All I can think about is her fingers parting me, filling me up inside, sending waves of pleasure coursing through my body. But Kjersten is taking her time. It's maddening. I kiss her and nibble her lower lip before releasing her. Still her hands take the same slow, gentle path over my back.

"Kiss another bruise?" I ask, and she nods.

I point out the fresh one that I got for asking to renegotiate my contract. It's on the top of my thigh, and Kjersten squats down until her mouth is poised just above it. The touch of her lips is barely perceptible. But the bruise actually does feel better, and I want more of her mouth.

I shudder as I think about how close she is to my sex. I reach down and part myself with my fingers. But Kjersten makes no effort to move, so I slip my finger in to demonstrate. Instead of moving closer to between my legs, she stands up again and takes my face in her hands.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" she says.

"Yes," I say, and press my lips to hers.

Kjersten slips a hand behind my head and pulls me tighter as our kisses become faster, harder, more passionate. Her other hand is wrapped around my side, caressing the skin there. I place my fingers on top of hers and guide her hand lower.

"Please," I say, as I draw my breath in ragged gasps.

I feel her fingers gently touching my hip, then moving to outline my folds, tracing slowly over my sensitive flesh. My knees grow weak, but Kjersten has wrapped her other hand around my waist to support me. As I feel her part me, I let myself go.

I am a rag doll, collapsed in her arms. All I can do is moan. It's been so long since I've been touched by someone determined to give me pleasure rather than take it from me, that I don't know what else to do.

"Are you OK, Maidali?"

"Oh, god," is all I can reply.

Kjersten vibrates as she chuckles a bit, then I feel her tongue on my neck. She traces out a long slow path as I quiver beneath her hand. She moves from my collarbone to my earlobe, first on one side, then the other. Her wonderful fingers never stop.

Kjersten nibbles and slides her tongue over me again until her mouth is perched just under my ear. I can't stop shaking. "You can come now," she whispers.

That's all it takes. Kjersten holds me in her strong and gentle grasp, while her fingers continue to press in just the right spot. A shudder that starts somewhere in my toes, makes its way through my body. I go rigid.

"Oh -- Oh -- Oh my god." That's all I can manage to put into words. Everything else just comes out as grunts and squeaks. But Kjersten understands. I look up at her face and she's beaming.

"Thank you," I say.

Kjersten is still grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I told you. You're much prettier when you're not sad. More fun too."

I stick my tongue out at her. I had intended it as a rebuke for her comment, but she just pulls it between her lips and traps it there with gentle suction. Her tongue flits over mine and I have no desire to do anything other than melt into her and enjoy her gifts.

"Thank you," I say again after she releases me.

Kjersten grins. "Would you shut up and just kiss me again."

So I do exactly that. I shut up, and I kiss her. Again and again and again.

Eventually our passion has exceeded the capacity of the hot water tank, and we are forced to leave the shower or risk hypothermia. Kjersten wraps me in the long, white towel and hugs me dry. "I guess I should probably cut your hair now."

Grinning, I offer her my hand and we step through the door.

*

I'm sitting on a chair in the kitchen feeling a little like a drowned rat. The floor around me is covered in pages of last week's Sunday Tribune. I'm wearing one of Kjersten's t-shirts -- we didn't want to get hair clippings all over her roommate's stuff -- and it only covers me to about mid-thigh, so I have goosebumps on my legs.

Kjersten's standing in front of me with her arms folded and scissors in her hand. "I've only done this a couple of times before." She tilts her head and frowns. "My brother used to let me cut his hair when he was a penniless undergrad. So you'll probably end up looking like a boy."

"I don't care. I just want it short again."

Kjersten goes to work, fingers deftly moving through my hair, pulling and snipping. I try my best to keep my head still as damp clumps of my dark brown locks collect at my feet. I feel an odd sense of relief. I know it's only a haircut, but each bit that falls represents little pieces of my old life, and I'm more than happy to cast them off.

With each snip I feel myself sitting up a little straighter, a little taller. Kjersten comes around again with a mirror that she holds in front of me. "So," she says. "What do you think?"

"Perfect."

Kjersten sizes me up for a moment, tilting her head to the side. "I took a little more off than I had planned on the sides and the back, but you don't look too much like you lost a fight with a lawnmower." She chuckles at her own joke and I join her with a smile.

I run my hand over my head. The sides and back are short, yes, but she's left the top longer and swept it to one side. "I love it. Thank you." I stand up and kiss her. Not two seconds later I am startled by the sound of the front door's deadbolt turning.

"It's just my roommate and her latest girlfriend," Kjersten says and pulls me back in.

I sense someone is near. Still wrapped in Kjersten's arms, I turn my head to see. I am staring directly into the eyes of a smiling little firecracker of a girl, sporting an electric blue mohawk.

"Busted!" she exclaims, and throws her head back into a raucous laugh. "And in the kitchen of all places. Kjer, you naughty thing. I hope you plan to scrub the counters later."

Her girlfriend, a striking blonde who towers over everyone except for Kjersten, is grinning too. "Kjer, you never bring anyone home. Good for you, girl."

"Maidali, this is my roommate Zabina and her girlfriend of the hour, Alex," Kjersten says. "Zabi, Alex, this is Maidali, I met her last night at the club."

Zabina steps over and punches Kjersten in the shoulder. "Honestly Kjer, we're engaged," she mutters, "Girlfriend of the hour. Pfft. I've been bringing the same woman home for the past eighteen months. Just 'cause you don't take your nose out of a book for more than thirty seconds ..."

Alex pays no attention to her girlfriend's playful assault on Kjersten. She's busy staring and rubbing her hands together. "So, what'd you two get up to at the club? Details, details."

"It's not like that, guys." Kjersten frowns. "Maidali had a little run in with somebody, so I brought her home where she'd be safe." Everyone is deadly serious as Kjersten relates the story of how we met and the abuses I suffered. And at her urging, I lift the hem of the t-shirt I am wearing just enough to show them my reminder bruise.

No one says anything, but their eyes go wide.

"It's OK, you can show them the rest," I say, and Kjersten pulls out her phone.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." Alex rubs her hand gently over my arm, while Zabi slips down the hall and pulls out her own phone.

"It's OK, you didn't know." I smile at Alex, while resting my head on Kjersten's shoulder.

Zabi is back, apparently finished with whatever conversation she was having. "Let's go down to the restaurant," she says, "I gotta talk to my brother. I'll treat you guys to lunch."

"You don't have to do that," I start.

Alex laughs. "It's OK, she knows the owner."

Kjersten leans down and kisses me on the lips. Apparently no one is at all fazed by this, so I just go with the moment and offer her my tongue. She sucks it into her mouth and I giggle. A feeling of warmth washes over me and I loose myself in Kjersten's kiss.

"I'll give you guys 'til one o'clock to get it out of your systems," Zabi cuts in. "After that you're buying your own lunch." She turns on her heel and Alex follows. I hear the deadbolt turn and we are alone once again.

*

Kjersten and I make our way down the hall hand-in-hand. It takes quite a bit of time to reach her bedroom, because we have to pause every so often after bumping into a wall. Navigating is difficult with our lips locked together.