Cynthia's Affair Ch. 02

"I see what you mean. What about your friends' husbands? Have any of them seemed particularly interested in you? Understand, I'm not proposing that you do anything with them. I just want to know if you have observed anything."

"No...no, not really."

"I was interested in that fantasy you described, for several reasons. Did you have any particular friend and her husband in mind?" Cynthia shook her head. "You seemed to enjoy exposing yourself to them. Has anything like that ever happened in real life?" Again, Cynthia shook her head. "Would you like that fantasy to come true just as you imagined it?"

This time Cynthia hesitated, then replied, "Yes, I think I would! Actually, I don't know how I would react if it did, but right now I would love it!"

"Ok. Now, I particularly noted that you had your friend know that her husband was feeling you, and, particularly, that she undoubtedly saw that her husband had screwed you. Was that just because you prefer not doing it behind her back, or does it excite you that she saw you having sex with him."

"Oh, my heavens! I don't know. No, I don't think it's because I wouldn't want to hide it. I guess I just liked having her see me having sex. Yes, I guess the idea does excite me, at least a little bit"

"All right. Next, when your friend showed her breasts, you were quite interested in looking at them. Does the idea of seeing another woman exposed like that arouse you?"

"Gods, I don't think so...but, maybe...let me think a minute." After more than a minute, she finally continued, "I did like looking at them and, running that scene through my mind right now, I do feel excited. It's a combination of being half naked myself with them looking at me and her also being topless. This is embarrassing, but I do fantasize about how her breasts look, picturing them bouncing and quivering. I've never thought of this specifically before, but when her husband is feeling my breasts, I'm staring directly at her's." She paused briefly, and blurted out, "I don't believe I'm saying this! It's being taken by her husband which really drives the fantasy and brings me to orgasm, but she does play a major part!"

"Have you ever fantasized about being completely naked in that scenario?"

Cynthia blushed, and looking down, admitted, "Sometimes. Usually it's after I've been screwed. He has taken my pants off and they have floated away. There's no question this time that my friend saw him having me, but she just gets a towel to cover me. I'm horribly embarrassed, but she hugs me as she wraps me in the towel, showing that she isn't angry. I guess it is important to me that she doesn't mind, for I always include that!"

"Have you ever pictured doing anything with her, or is it always just with the husband?

"Just the husband except for looking and the hugging."

"You said that you would like to have a real experience like your fantasy. Would you want it to be a real threesome, that is to say, all three of you having sex together?"

"Gods, I don't know! I never thought of it. I just created a fantasy that excited me -- but, I guess, having her there was important. I just don't know. Maybe if we were all wrestling around in the pool it might be exciting to touch her."

"Have you ever thought of having sex with a woman?"

"Good heavens, no! I'm not a lesbian!"

Dr. Butler laughed, saying, "I'm quite sure that you are not a lesbian, Mrs. Anders, but I think some defining and background are in order. A lesbian is a woman who can be aroused sexually only by another woman. For almost all lesbians, having a man penetrate her is, at best, uninteresting, and most likely is repulsive. A completely heterosexual woman, if there is such a person, can be aroused only by a man, but I've never run across a woman like that. Researchers have discovered that the most intense orgasms for most women come not from sexual intercourse, but from having their sex organs, particularly their clitoris, caressed by fingers and/or tongues. That way she is in control of speed and timing and can build up at her own rate. Now, in bed, in the dark, it doesn't really matter if the fingers or tongue is male or female -- except psychologically, of course.

"In reality, however, most men tend to be heavy-handed or too much in a hurry, and, as might be expected, in actual blind tests where women haven't known the sex of their partners, they almost invariably choose a woman over a man. That doesn't mean that these women prefer women to men as permanent partners, just that even heterosexual women can be aroused by other women. From my experience and the research of others, almost all women are, at least to some degree, bisexual. This does not mean that most women are eager to jump into bed with another woman! No, it just means that virtually all women can be aroused sexually by fondling or being fondled by other women.

"There is nothing new in this, for research has shown this kind of intimacy has existed in all societies. For example, in the middle ages, when the men were attending to male business, training, battles, crusades, jousts, etc., women were let alone for long periods. It was just assumed that if the queen or princess needed to be 'relaxed,' the ladies-in-waiting or female servants, would relieve her tensions, using their fingers and tongues. The ladies-in-waiting were of the nobility themselves, and would expect to be 'relaxed' in the same way by their retainers and servants. This 'servicing' would go down the line with women helping each other in this way. Actually, such activities were looked upon as relatively innocent pleasures and were not really thought of as sex acts, just normal intimacy among women. In fact, several manuscripts encouraged such exercises to reduce the 'humors' that caused women to commit adultery.

"Even in the much later Puritan society, you have the unspoken acceptance of female intimacy. An engaged couple, a man and woman, could sleep in the same bed, fully dressed, with a board between them to ensure propriety. Bundling, of course. But, two women, wearing only night dresses could sleep together with no barriers. If under the covers, they fondled and caressed each other, even to orgasm, there was no sin impugned, no scarlet letter or hair shirt required. Cotton Mather and the other insurers of righteousness never spoke out against what was a very common practice. It just wasn't seen as a sin!

"Even today, many people tend to excoriate lesbianism -- although fewer than in the past -- female intimacy is still encouraged by our mores. Women routinely hug and kiss each other, they help each other dress and try on clothes. Even women who consider themselves to be complete heterosexuals feel free to touch their friends, even intimately, at times...helping shave pubic hair so a bikini can be worn, fitting a bra, putting sun protection onto parts of the body that usually are not exposed to the sun. While these contacts are not overtly sexual in nature, they often are pleasant, and mildly erotic, with both parties enjoying the innocent touching.

"Now, that brings us back to the present situation. Having a sexual relationship with another woman can range from merely lying in bed holding each other and relishing the closeness, all the way to cunnilingus. Your fantasy shows your interest in looking at and, I suspect, touching your friend's breasts. I suspect, also, that your desire to have her see you having sex with her husband indicates that you would like to have her join in. It appears to me that you have definite bisexual tendencies, which, as I said before, makes you perfectly normal.

"What does that mean? Primarily that I think that you might well consider having an affair, if that's what you would call it, with a woman. The degree of intimacy and the type of sexual gratification you would employ would depend of your mutual feelings, but the advantages of such a liaison are significant.

"First, given the limitations you function under in attaining a relationship with a man, you definitely are going to have serious problems. You seemingly have no candidates in mind, have few opportunities to develop outside friendships that could blossom and, even if you did make contact, you still have the danger of indiscretion, scandal, and perhaps getting in too deep. In addition, while the moral issue of adultery wouldn't stop you, a female to female relationship removes the issue completely. On the other hand, you probably have many women friends, some quite close, who might well be potential partners. If something did develop, there would be little or no danger of discovery. Two women can visit each other at any time without anyone asking questions. It is expected that they will share a room when traveling. In other words, such a relationship is clearly safer than a male-female affair. In addition, the danger of becoming too deeply involved is almost zero.

"Secondly, a woman might well be more inclined to give you the affection and closeness you want. Women, in general, tend to have more empathy in these situations than men, less concerned about their own needs. In an affair, a man's first interest, naturally, is sex, the reason he is involved in the first place. He may actually have affection for the woman, but, unless it is a true 'love affair,' his motivation, bluntly, is to have sexual intercourse with her. Presumably, unless it is such a 'love' affair, that also is her primary motivation. For non-lesbian women, on the other hand, sex comes later if she's with another woman. A normal friendship gradually develops into a more intimate friendship, which, in turn, may become a sexually intimate friendship.

"The friendship remains the basis of the relationship, with sex being a pleasant sidelight. That sidelight, however, may be very important to both parties, adding a closeness that no non-sexual friendship can bring. For a bisexual woman, this kind of sex will not bring the same physical 'high' that she may get with a man, but it usually is soothing and arousing at the same time, and quite satisfying. It's like comparing a cake made from scratch with one made from a box. The scratch-made cake, or sex with a man, may be excellent or it may be a failure, or anything in between. A box cake, or sex with a woman, is uniformly good, with no real highs, but no real lows. Just a very nice cake!"

Through all this discussion, Cynthia sat listening, a blank, sort of stunned, expression on her face. She was fascinated by Dr. Butler's discourse, but her mind was in a real muddle as she tried to relate it to her own situation. This last analogy, however, struck her as funny and relieved her tension somewhat and she was able to laughingly say, "Well, I use cake mixes all the time and think that they are very good! However, I don't think that I will be able to use one again with exactly the same feeling!"

Dr. Butler also laughed, and then went on, "Now, I'd like you to think about all this with an open mind. I don't usually bring myself into these sessions, but l will tell you that while I am strongly heterosexual, I have enjoyed relationships with women and found them to be just as I've described them to you. Whether you want to try the bisexual approach is, of course, completely up to you. I would suggest that before next week you give it serious thought. Think of the alternatives, analyze your own feelings and prejudices and, perhaps, try to think of a fantasy incorporating female sex. Maybe it would be best to write down any such fantasy and we can discuss it then. An easy way into this would be to develop the fantasy you described to me, but turn it into a real threesome. Combining sex with both a man and a woman might be a way of approaching it. In fact, being involved in a threesome is one of the most common ways in which women are initiated into bisexual activities. In any case, think about it, and, if it's just not for you, we can think about to whole problem again."