Damned Dumb Demon

Mary scowled as she flipped through the pages of the scuffed book.

"Guys, this book is full of spelling mistakes. And most of the 'potions' chapter is just recipes for soup and chili."

Sean poured the last line of flour onto the living room carpet as straight as he could, completing the pentagram.

"C'mon, Kaitlin said she only paid 50 cents. What do you expect?" He stood and dusted his hands. "How does this look, you two?"

Mary stood staring at the design, clearly uncomfortable. The satanic symbol was in bizarre contrast to the tasteful opulence of the rest of the room.

Kaitlin got up from the couch to inspect it. "Excellent, Sean. The lines are mostly straight. The circle is perfect. Though I still don't think flour is an approved substance."

Sean shrugged. "Chalk would be hard to get out of the carpet. This will vacuum right up. Anyway, I'm sure scented candles aren't approved either, but it's all we have." He placed a candle at each point of the star.

Kaitlin grinned. "Good enough to summon a boyfriend for Mary."

"The book calls it a love enticement," said Mary. "Isn't a summoning when they appear out of thin air? Anyway, it doesn't matter. You don't believe in this garbage any more than I do."

"Oh, sure we do," teased Kaitlin. "We do the spell, the doorbell rings and instead of trick-or-treaters, it'll be a shirtless millionaire with great abs, ready to sweep you away. Though really, showing off your boobs a little more is all the enticement you need, Mar." She glanced down at her own B-cup breasts and sighed.

Mary pursed her lips. "That's just the type of guy I don't want, Kat. You know that."

Big boobs, blonde hair and a sunny, innocent face made her a target of drooling idiots from an early age. She learned to be wary of all men.

Except for Sean. Her best friend since kindergarten, they shared secrets and adventures, once even playing doctor. Mary longed for it to be more, but she was torn: He was so outgoing and athletic. How could he ever be satisfied with a shy, curvy homebody like her?

Kaitlin was more his type: bold, funny, and exotic. Her Japanese mother and Spanish father gave her an enticing 'can't quite place it' loveliness with a lean frame, tawny skin and lively almond eyes. Her outgoing personality had guys at their college drooling over her, as did some women. To Mary's surprise, Kaitlin dated both.

Mary couldn't picture what two women did together. Yet she had recurring thoughts of stroking Kaitlin's cheek and running her hand along her lovely body, thoughts that sent unexpected warm tingles through her.

When they met Kaitlin during Frosh Week, Sean was enamored. They started dating, but it didn't last—Mary never heard why. Still, the three of them stayed friends and hung out constantly both on campus and off.

That night she invited Sean to her house to help hand out treats, eager to have him alone. Her parents were at a costume party at a downtown hotel and were staying there overnight. It was the perfect chance to tell him how she felt, if she could find the courage this time. As she watched Sean adjusting the pentagram and candles, she felt her heart surge with love and desire.

She glanced at Kaitlin. When she learned Mary's parents would be away for the night, Kaitlin invited herself along. It was her suggestion to liven up the evening by trying the 'love spell' in the book she found. Mary didn't like it, but maybe it would help set the scene for later with Sean. If she could get Kaitlin to leave when it was time.

~~~~

Sean noticed Mary frowning at the thick lines of flour he had drawn on the carpet and the worried glance she gave him.

"Don't worry," he said, "We won't leave a mess. I'll stay here all night if needed."

Sean saw Mary's lips part as she flushed and turned away. He could never read her, or any woman for that matter. Many times when they were alone it seemed like she wanted to kiss him but when he made a move, she withdrew into sullen silence.

He knew why. Mary was smart, caring, always cheerful, and never swore. She went to church. Her parents were rich. Meanwhile, Sean struggled in school, ashamed of his unemployable drunken father and their rundown bungalow. He could only afford college because of a sports scholarship. Someone so angelic could never love a mongrel like him.

At one time he fantasized they would be each other's first—discovering each other's bodies then locking eyes as they joined. That dream died when Mary slept with Billy Morris after Senior Prom. Since then, Sean started dating and sleeping around, but it was empty. There was never a connection.

When Mary invited him over to help with Halloween, Sean was determined to try one more time to express his love, that it would not be like every other awkward time they were alone. He asked Kaitlin to come along.

She protested. "I think Mary wants to be alone with you. Maybe you two will finally stop circling each other like stray cats and get down to it."

"Yeah, but I get nervous. Can you help break the ice? Maybe smooth things over in case I say something stupid?"

Kaitlin laughed. "Guys always say something stupid. Okay, I'll come. I have some ideas how to get things going."

~~~~

The ringing of a timer came from the kitchen, quickly followed by a bing-bong from the front door.

"Oh!" said Mary, "That's the last batch of cookies. Kat, would you get the door?" She ran to check the oven.

Kaitlin exchanged a glance with Sean. "Little miss homemaker."

Sean smiled. "Yep. Little miss homemaker."

"Trick or treat!" Three small kids held out pillowcases as they clustered on the front step. Their parents hovered out on the sidewalk.

Kaitlin dropped double handfuls of treats into each kid's sack and complimented their costumes. There was a Pikachu, a Wonder Woman and a skeleton.

Kaitlin closed the door just as Mary arrived carrying a tray of ghost cookies. Her frilly pink apron looked like it came straight out of the 1950s.

"Darn, I missed them," said Mary. "They were probably the last kids too. It's getting late."

Kaitlin eyed Mary's apron and bit her tongue. "Good," she said. "Then we get to eat them." She snatched one from the tray and bit off the head. "Mmmm. They're great, Mar. Don't know why you bother, though."

"It's fun," said Mary. "The kids take the time to dress up for us. They deserve something special, along with all the regular junk."

When they returned to the living room, Sean had lit the candles. Aromas of vanilla and mulberry filled the air.

Kaitlin said, "Looks like we're ready. Let's do this!"

Sean opened the book of spells. "One 'love enticement' coming up! Okay, Mary. It says you kneel in the middle of the pentagram while we chant. Don't smudge the flour."

Mary shuddered. "I don't know about this, guys. It's Halloween. The spirit world is closest to us now."

Kaitlin said, "Mary, loosen up. We're just having fun."

"Bobbing for apples is fun Carving pumpkins is fun. Performing a black magic ritual on All Hallows Eve? What if we... what if something happens?"

Sean gave a half-smile. "Like what? We open a portal to Hell?"

Mary nodded. "Yeah. Exactly like that." She fingered the silver crucifix hanging at her throat.

Sean walked over and hugged her, enjoying the feel of her luscious body and smell of her hair.

"If we wind up in Hell, Mar, I'll be Virgil to your Dante, okay? We'll go to the center, climb down Satan's legs to Purgatory and then on to Paradise."

In first year they had written a paper on Dante's Inferno—a bowl-shaped world of descending concentric rings, each ring a unique torture for a specific sin: howling winds for the lustful, boiling pitch for corrupt politicians.

At the bottom was a frozen lake with a giant Lucifer towering waist-deep in the ice. Mary and Sean laughed to discover that part of hell was already frozen over.

Mary clung as Sean hugged her, thinking paradise would be him holding her the way he was, but in love, not friendship. She forced herself to pull away.

"Okay, you guys. Let's get this over with. Then we eat the cookies and all the leftover candy, okay?"

Kaitlin stood beside Sean and put her arm around him, reading from the book. "Okay, Mar. Kneel and face the East towards the Morning Star. That's uh, towards the dining room. Put your hands on your knees and bow your head. Good. Now Sean and I do the chant."

Mary took a deep breath, still fingering her crucifix, and reminded herself it was all just a game.

Sean had trouble concentrating with Kaitlin pressed to his side. She never explained why she broke up with him. They only started kissing before she called it off. But he was glad they stayed friends. And maybe he could get a second chance—he might never be good enough for Mary, but sometimes he caught Kaitlin gazing at him. There might still be hope with her.

Together, Kaitlin and Sean recited the incantation titled "love enticement":

Attenrobendum eos,

ad ligandum eos,

potiter eos,

coram me.

O Domine de tenebris

hanc sacratissimam noctem

dona nobis servi infernum;

discordiae usque ad partum, et chao

in mortale mundi

accipe sacrificium ingrediens elit magnis quinque

There was silence. Mary looked up. "Is that it?"

Kaitlin traced her finger further down the page. "Oh. Now you say 'So mote it be,' Mary."

"What does that mean?"

"What does any of it mean? Just say it."

Mary sighed and said the words.

As the last syllable left her mouth, the lights in the house went out and a thump rattled the room.

Mary gasped. Kaitlin tightened her arm around Sean.

Streetlights cast shadows through the living room window as the autumn wind swayed branches and swirled leaves along the street.

Sean laughed nervously. "That's great timing, huh? Must have blown a fuse." The flickering of the pentagram candles barely lit the edges of the room.

A gravelly voice rumbled, "Naw. Weren't no fuse. I stole the energy so's I could materialize."

Beside the china cabinet hunched an enormous dark figure. Its skin was the dark red of congealed blood. Sharpened ox horns curved from its temples. Short tusks jutted from its jaw. Muscular goat legs coarse with hair led to black cloven hooves.

"Holy fucking shit!" yelled Sean.

Mary's eyes went wide. A thin keening wail issued from her as she scrambled backwards out of the pentagram, smearing the flour and upsetting a candle. It sputtered and drowned in spilled wax.

"It's Satan," wailed Mary. "Lucifer has come for us!"

Kaitlin and Sean went to her. The three huddled together on the floor, staring at the figure.

"Naw," rumbled the figure, "you idiots ain't worth His attention. That limp-dick summoning only rated a Class C demon like me." He belched and scratched an armpit, looking around the room.

"We didn't summon anyone," said Sean. "We were doing a love charm."

"None of you dumbasses knows Latin, huh? Maybe edumacate yerself before reading shit outta strange books."

The demon stood and stretched, ducking when his horns gouged the ceiling. His chest bulged with muscle. Mary gasped when his dong came into view, massive enough to shame a stallion. Behind it, balls like tangerines protruded, coated in wiry hairs.

"So this is the world," said the creature. "Kinda posh. Thought you mortals was livin' in mud huts or sumpin."

The demon shivered. "Brr. The world's cold!" He pointed a claw at the coffee table and gave a look of concentration. The tabletop burst into flame.

"Fuck!" yelled Kaitlin. She grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and smothered the fire. She pointed to the fireplace already laid with logs. "In there! Do it in there."

The demon swished a hand toward the fireplace and a cheery blaze lit the room. He stalked towards the heat on his backwards goat legs. The three friends saw a tiny goat tail swishing back and forth over a crusty-looking asshole.

Sean looked to Kaitlin and Mary. Mary clung to him, trembling. Kaitlin looked skeptical.

"That's your friend Dave, isn't it," she said. "It kind of sounds like him."

Sean was incredulous. "What? Does that look like a costume? Dave's at the campus Halloween party. And he isn't seven feet tall and hung like a mule."

"DO something," Mary said in a shrill voice.

Sean cleared his throat. "Uh, Mr. Demon? There's been a mistake. We were just playing around. We found a book and didn't know it was real."

The demon turned to warm his ass against the fire. A sharp animal smell began overpowering the scent from the candles.

"I know whatcha was doin'. Dumb fuckin' kids. Well, I'm here now. Ain't never been in the world before. Gonna cause a commotion while I's here. And I's always wanted ta fuck mortals. The udder demons say you scream better than the souls we fuck in hell." The demon grinned, revealing sinister fangs.

Sean saw the demon's dong becoming engorged. He grabbed the book and scanned the index.

"There has to be an undo spell, right? Some kind of delete?"

Kaitlin said, "I think that's called a banishment."

"Whatever. Help find one, guys."

Kaitlin and Mary helped Sean scour the index. There was nothing.

The demon gave a throaty chuckle. "Haw! You ain't getting me gone so easy. I feel your fear. Your shame. The regret. I'm gonna stay here a long time. Fuck each one of you. 'Specially the virgin there." He pointed a claw at Mary.

Mary flicked her eyes to Sean. "But... but I'm not a virgin. I told you!"

The demon chuckled. "Ain't no secrets in Heaven or Hell, ya know? Ya lied, little miss saintly... saving yourself fer him." He pointed at Sean. "In the pentagram you was thinking only 'bout fucking him. Doesn't matter now. Yer cunt is mine."

The demon stepped toward Mary, his dick erect and terrifying.

Sean found an entry in the book's index and flipped to the page.

"Protective circle! Mary, Kat... quick. Erase the star. Repair the circle and get inside!"

The girls ran over and got on their hands and knees, wiping away the flour of the star and fixing the smudged lines of the circle to close it. They kneeled inside, wide-eyed and holding each other.

He demon laughed and with a fetid breath blew away some flour. The girls scrambled to close the circle again.

"Ha-ha," laughed the demon. "Shoulda used chalk. Or blood. Now let's get started with the fucking."

The doorbell bing-bonged. The demon looked around. "Wassat?"

"It's Halloween," said Sean. "Must be some late trick-or-treaters."

"Haw! Fresh meat!" The demon stomped towards the door.

Sean ran after him. "Wait! They're just kids! Leave them alone and you can do what you want with me."

The demon paused. "Huh. You fer real? But I can't do nuttin' to innocents anyways. How you get rid of 'em?"

"We give them treats and they go away." Sean pointed to the plastic bowl of chips and candy bars. A few of Mary's ghost cookies remained on the tray beside them.

"And if we don't?"

"Well, they're supposed to play a trick on us. Egg the house. Throw toilet paper into the trees. But they'll probably just cry and tell their parents."

"Extortion!" grinned the demon. "That's some Ninth Circle sinning right there. Works for me!" The demon reached for the door.

"WAIT!" said Sean. "Your dick is hanging out. Wait a sec." He spotted Mary's apron draped over the back of the hall chair.

"Here," he said, holding it out. The demon tied it around his waist. The thin pink fabric barely hid the outline of his massive dong.

"Okay now, mortal?"

"Good enough," said Sean.

The demon yanked open the door. The toddlers screamed, but one teenager escorting them said "Cool! Best costume yet, dude!"

The demon eyed the children. There was a princess, a robot and some kind of dog. Or maybe it was an otter. He thrust the bowl of candy at the children.

"Deceitful harlequins!" he boomed. "Take your ransom and flee in shame. My lord Lucifer will repay thy sins with eternal torment in the fires of Gehenna!" He dumped the bowl into one kid's bag and slammed the door.

Sean was impressed. "That was very eloquent."

"Yeah," grinned the demon. "The boys back home been coaching me. Say I don't talk demonic enough. Fuck 'em. I can say words when I needs to."

He pulled Sean back to the living room. The girls stood huddled together inside the protective circle, desperately scouring the book for anything that might help.

The demon wore a satisfied grin. "I'm gonna win points for corrupting innocents with bribes." With one hand he began rubbing a nipple. The other reached beneath the apron to stroke his dick. "Yeah, big points. Oh yeah. Mmmm."

Sean pulled away from the demon and stepped inside the circle. He studied the demon as it pleasured itself. "Uh, what kind of demon did you say you are?"

"Hades Client Service Associate Class C. Mostly I do whip duty in Bolgia One. Sometime I fills in at the Seventh Circle when the centaurs go down to Bolgia Two to take a shit."

Mary said, "Circles? Bolgia? You mean Dante's description of Hell is real?"

The demon tossed his chin. "It is for you."

Sean and Mary exchanged a glance. Sean turned to the demon and mustering a commanding voice said, "Then get thee back to Hell, demon. This has been willed where what is willed must be."

The demon snorted. "Think you're Virgil, do ya? That shit only works in Hell. And only if you have a tourist visa."

Sean sighed. "It was worth a try."

"Okey doaky," said the demon. "Enough chit-chat. Let's get to the fucking."

He waved an arm across the three friends. Their clothes became brittle and rotten as if aging hundreds of years in a second. When they moved, at all crumbled to dust and fell, leaving them naked.

Sean gasped and put a hand over his dick. Mary and Kaitlin hunched over, covering themselves.

The three friends eyed each other, embarrassed.

After a few moments, Kaitlin dropped her arms. "It's just skin, guys. Everyone's naked under their clothes, you know."

Sean drank in the vision of Kaitlin's naked form. Downy black hairs barely hid her perfect clam pussy. Her breasts were small but larger than he had imagined, delicately shaped and capped by delicious dark areolas.

He slowly moved his hand away. Kaitlin appraised his dick momentarily before scanning the rest of him. She smiled and nodded in approval. College football and basketball kept him fit and lean.

Mary, seeing how her friends stood without shame, swallowed then dropped her arms to her sides. Her bountiful breasts bobbed into view, jutting like invitations, topped with large delicate areolas and eraser-thick nipples. Her lovely pussy was topped by carefully trimmed fur slightly darker than the blonde hair of her head.

Sean had to clear his throat before speaking. "God. Mary. Kat. You're both so beautiful."

Mary ducked her head at the compliment, hiding a shy smile. Kaitlin beamed then spun around so Sean could see all of her. Her bum was tight and firm. Her hips spoke of fit fertility.

Mary scowled. Not to be outdone, also spun around. She was pale and flawless, her body more Bottecelli than Rubens—shapely, lush and glowing with womanhood.

Sean felt his dick rising at the sight of his friends, so beautiful and exposed. Instead, he also spun to give them a look.

"Nice buns," said Kaitlin.

"Nice abs and, uh... package?" said Mary. "Is that what you say?"

"Awright, mortals," said the demon. "Party's over. Now I get to fuck you all to death."

He reached toward them but when as claw intersected the circle, blue fire erupted around the wrist.

He yanked it back. "Owww! Unfair! Ain't supposed to work dat way. Musta forgot some instruction."

He clapped his hands then spread them vertically. A flame-flecked translucent scroll appeared, hovering between his palms. Instead of writing, it had bright pictures and arrows, like the instructions for assembling Lego or flatpack furniture.