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Suddenly a smile started to creep across Dana's face. Yes, I guess we do.
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Please let me know what you think about my first submission. If you like it will continue Dana's adventures.
- COMMENTS
Kewldawg001about 4 years agoYes
Please continue the adventures. It has possibilities for sure.
Do you have a friend who can read your story before you submit.
It does need some grammatical work as some sentences run into each other
But the story is good
Will Dana like her date
Will she have sex with her mom
Or Penny
Maybe she wants dad's dick
I'll be waiting
Anonymousover 12 years agoHi Christie,
The concept of your story is a good one. But, I gave it only 3 stars because of the grammatical errors. You need someone to read and edit your work. You display confusion re direct speech and your spelling of key words needs looking at.
Otherwise, your ideas are sound and don't seem exaggerated or unreal. Keep up your effrots but please try to improve.
Les.
Anonymousover 15 years ago<br>
...because of the appalling spelling and grammar.
Anonymousalmost 19 years agoThought it was very well writen, it was exciting and held my interest , but i hate continued stories lol
Keep up the good work
