Dancing Lessons

"And with Shawna, I mean, the baby will be here in a couple of months and..." J.J. continued.

"Okay, I'll talk to her," Jack sighed.

They met at Jade Gardens. Jack couldn't help but smile sadly. Obviously, Jacqueline thought it was a date. She'd applied the make-up quite thick, wedged her flabby body into a dress with a low plunging neckline.

A year earlier, Jack would have been excited to see her in that dress; he'd be excited about the possibility of sex later on.

Today, the outfit looked sad, shabby on an older woman that was not aging gracefully.

"Well, don't you look nice," he said genially and took his seat across from her.

"Thank you and you look, is that, that is a new suit," Jacqueline said.

"Yeah, I wore the wrong suit the other day and just about everyone had a heart attack," Jack chuckled. "Realized I'd gotten pretty predictable so donated all my old suits to Goodwill and bought all new ones."

"Well, must be nice," Jacqueline spat, somewhat bitterly.

"Yes, it is nice," Jack agreed amiably.

The waitress came over and demanded to know if they were ready to order yet.

"You know what, Jacqueline, I know exactly what you're going to order; you order the same thing every time," Jack said. "But I bet you a thousand dollars you couldn't tell her what I want."

She stared at him for a long moment, trying to think of what he would normally order.

"You ready order?" the waitress demanded again.

"She'll have an order of the spring rolls and the sweet and sour pork, right?" Jack said.

"Right," Jacqueline said.

"And I want a glass of iced tea, sweet, and the Kung Pao chicken, and fried rice," Jack concluded the order.

"So how have you been?" Jacqueline asked.

"I'm fine," Jack said. "Work's going good, got myself a little bachelor pad, just told you about my new suits; they have gone up a bit since the last time we bought any new suits, and Rhonda just announced that she's pregnant so I'll be looking for a temp to fill in. And you?"

The waitress slapped his sweet iced tea down and Jack nodded politely.

He listened as Jacqueline whined about losing her job, how hard it was living with J.J. and his wife; Shawna didn't seem to like her much, Deidre was still upset with her, but Penelope and Percy at least were being nice to her.

"But neither one of them say they have any room," she concluded her tale of woe.

"So get your own place; you're a grown woman," Jack said as the waitress slapped down their food.

""With what? My good looks?" Jacqueline snapped. "I just told you, I lost my job."

"Well, if you can't use your good looks, then try your charming personality," Jack suggested.

"Fuck you, Jack," Jacqueline snarled.

"Just eat," Jack said. "Man, every time I get this, I swear it's hotter than the last time I ordered it."

As Jack ordered a bowl of chocolate ice cream for her and a bowl of Neapolitan for himself, Jacqueline broached the idea of a reconciliation.

"Not just no, but hell no," he smiled, even as she leaned forward to afford him a glimpse of her sagging breasts.

"But why not?" she nearly screamed.

"So I can sit around and wait for the next time you say we've grown apart, and it's not me, it's you, you just need a little excitement, it doesn't mean anything, it's just sex, it'll make us stronger as a couple?" Jack asked and spooned a little of the ice cream into his mouth.

Jacqueline thought very seriously of hurling her ice cream at him, at his fancy new suit.

The waitress came back and slapped the bill on the table. Jack checked the slip of paper quickly and placed his credit card on the small tray. The surly woman immediately bustled away.

"It might have been hormones," Jacqueline suggested. "I mean, I am getting older, my periods are becoming less frequent..."

"And instead of going and seeing Dr. Pelieur about it, you decide to fuck another man," Jack said and signed the bill, adding a flat fifteen percent tip.

"But he was so understanding, I mean, you never were always so busy and Brian..." Jacqueline whined.

"I was always so busy with all the crap you decided had to get done right then and there," Jack said and got to his feet. "I was always too busy driving our daughter around."

He shook his head sadly.

"Know what I've not heard? I mean, I've heard all this shit, it's my fault, its hormones, Brian listened to you," Jack said. "But not once have I heard Jacqueline say that she was sorry. Not once have I heard Jacqueline say it's her fault."

"But I am sorry," Jacqueline said quickly.

"J.J. and Shawna need that bedroom for their baby," Jack said. "So, you need to find yourself a nice little apartment or something. And St. Elizabeth Courthouse has a program where they'll help you find a job. Use it."

Jacqueline burned another bridge behind her. When she got back to the small bungalow J.J. and Shawna lived in, she screamed at Shawna, calling the girl a black bitch.

"Thanks, Dad," J.J. said bitterly into the phone.

"Nuh uh, I talked to your mother and told her y'all needed that room for the baby," Jack argued. "Anything she said or did after that? That's on her."

Jack nearly caused another panic at St. Elizabeth's Public Utilities when he came into the office on Friday. Instead of his customary medium brown suit, he was wearing khakis and a button down shirt.

But when five ten rolled around the next Wednesday, and Jack came out of his office wearing snug fitting blue jeans, a baby blue pull over shirt, and penny loafers, his suit draped over his shoulder, there was a mild seismic shock wave that rippled through the building.

"AND you're leaving thirty minutes early?" Rhonda asked.

"Go Jack, go Jack," Garrett, one of the IT men chanted.

At Tommy's, Jack ordered a fried oyster po-boy and a cola. After he finished his meal, he had to agree, the hot ham and cheese with the olive dressing was still his favorite.

"But, hey, you never know until you try," he said out loud.

Michelle was waiting for him and smiled widely, bounding over to greet him.

"That looks a lot more comfortable than that fussy old suit," she praised, rubbing her hand on his arm.

"Hi Bubbles; you look good too," he smiled.

She laughed with glee at being called 'Bubbles.'

He was much more relaxed and truly enjoyed their lesson.

"Well, back to the kids," Michelle said as Kizzy congratulated everyone on a great class. "I'm sure Barry's hungry by now."

"Barry? Oh, yes, yes, the baby," Jack smiled. "How are the tykes?"

"Mealy's really getting to where she's asking why we can't live with Daddy damned near all the time, Mandy's starting to whine about it too, but that's just because Mealy's whining about it, and as long as Barry has a dry diaper and a boob to suck on, he's happy," Michelle admitted.

She flashed him a huge smile when his eyes immediately went to her large chest.

"See you next Wednesday, Bubbles," Jack smiled.

"I'm going to think of a nick name for you," Michelle threatened.

"Yeah, yeah, can't wait," Jack said.

Percy was the next of his children to call Jack, complaining about his mother.

"Dad, please do something," Percy whined. "She's been here for two days and already Addison's ready to kill her, or me."

"What am I? The Enforcer?" Jack asked.

Which was exactly what Jacqueline asked him when he called her to tell her to get out of Percy's one bedroom apartment.

"My apartment is only four twenty five a month; you can't tell me you can't afford four twenty five a month, huh?" Jack asked her.

"I got fired from my job, Jack, kind of hard to rent an apartment with no money," Jacqueline shrilled.

"Jacqueline, we sold the house," Jack reminded her. "We each got a check for forty two thousand; what happened to all that money?"

She didn't answer his question, just begged him to reconsider reconciling.

"You remember what you said to me when I asked if you wanted to go to the Catskills." Jack asked her. "My last vacation? I said, 'hey, why don't we go to the Catskills; we loved it there last time we went.' Remember what you said?"

"No, you know I don't," she snapped. "But I'm sure you do."

"You said 'why bother?' Well, Jacqueline, why bother? Reconciling? Why bother?" Jack said.

Penelope let her mother know, as much as she loved her, there simply was no room for her at her apartment.

"Plus that, Mother, you hate dogs. And Samson and Delilah were here first," Penelope said as her two Irish Wolfhounds whined and begged for her attention.

Chapter 3

"All right, Jack, where are you going?" Jill demanded to know as he strolled past her cubicle, suit in hand.

"I beg your pardon?" he laughed. "I don't ask you where you're going every time you leave here."

"Yeah, but I don't smile like that every time I leave here either," she smiled.

Jack knew if he told Jill, before the first cup of coffee was poured the next morning, every employee of St. Elizabeth's Public Utilities would know about it. They had all known he was getting a divorce from Jacqueline, and knew why. Women were coming up to him and calling Jacqueline a bitch and telling Jack that not all women were like that. And worse, men were either silently patting him on the back, or avoiding him altogether.

"All right, Jill, but you can't tell anyone," Jack said.

"Oh you know I won't," Jill promised, eyes alive with excitement.

"Well, every Wednesday, I mean, you know, after my divorce, I mean, how am I supposed to live off of half, huh?" Jack said.

"I know, that bitch," Jill agreed.

"But anyway, I make a few extra bucks being a male model at the U.L.D. art classes every Wednesday," Jack whispered.

"You what?" Jill asked, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Yeah, the University of Louisiana at DeGarde?" Jack asked. "Anyway, they have these art classes? A hundred bucks to take my clothes off and just stand there, I mean, the first time I did it? God was I embarrassed! One girl said she was about to run out of red trying to get my blush down right, but hey, after that?"

Jack managed to make it to his car before bursting out laughing.

He was still chuckling when he entered Kizzy's.

"Okay, Jack Hammer, what's so funny?" Michelle demanded, grabbing his hand.

He blushed, but told her what he had told the notorious gossip at his place of employment. Both he and Michelle laughed together, her covering her mouth with her dainty hand.

"Well, I'd pay to paint you," she admitted as Kizzy called the class to attention.

"Okay, Jack Hammer, you ready?" Michelle teased.

"Yeah, that's what ALL the ladies call me," Jack said and Michelle's blush was immediate.

"I didn't mean it like THAT!" she screeched, slapping his arm.

"Problem?" Kizzy smiled.

"Yeah, she hit me," Jack mock complained.

"You should have heard what he said," Michelle complained.

"I'll think of another nick name," Michelle promised as they danced.

"Whatever, Bubbles," Jack smiled and twirled her.

"That's it, that's it," Kizzy encouraged.

A few other couples also encouraged them and both Jack and Michelle smiled widely.

"I uh, you want," Jack stammered when Kizzy called an end to the class.

Michelle smiled up at him. Her smile didn't make him any less nervous. But he forged ahead.

"I uh, you want to go grab a cup of coffee or something?" he asked.

"Can't," Michelle said. "Remember? I'm breast feeding."

"I uh, oh, damn, I didn't even think about that," Jack agreed.

"But how about a big old malt at Clark's?" Michelle smiled, taking his hand into hers.

"Yeah, that sounds terrific," Jack agreed, smiling through his blush.

"We'll take your car?" Michelle decided.

But when she stepped outside and saw that Jack drove a Smart Car, she pushed him toward her mini-van.

"I'm not getting into one of those," she declared. "Like trying fit a basketball into a golf ball."

"Oh come on; they're a lot bigger than they look," Jack protested, but got into her mini-van.

She shot her parents a text message, letting them know she was stopping at Clark's.

"Yes, it's a date," she texted when her mother asked.

And before they could make the less than two mile drive from Kizzy's School of Dance to Clark's Drive-In, Michelle's cell phone buzzed no less than eight times.

"You uh, you want to get that?" Jack asked.

"God no, it's my family trying to drive me nuts," she said after glancing at the display.

Michelle did get a large chocolate malt and Jack decided on a vanilla cone, dipped.

"So, Jack Rabbit, why'd you want to take dancing?" Michelle asked as Jack watched the cute waitress skate away, buttocks framed by the customary red shorts.

"Jack Rabbit, huh?" Jack smiled. "Yeah, that's what my lady friends call me."

"God, never mind!" Michelle laughed as her phone buzzed again.

And quit looking at all them girls in them shorts," she demanded.

"Oh, I was just thinking how hot you'd look in them," Jack blurted out before his brain could tell him to shut up.

And before she could answer, a police cruiser pulled up into the slot next to them.

"God damn it, really?" Michelle yelled as her big brother got out of the police car.

"Got you a problem with your phone?" Officer Richard Voisin asked his baby sister.

"No, I'm ignoring it, just like I'm ignoring you yeah," she snapped.

"Uh huh," Richard smirked.

"Hi, I'm..." Jack started to say.

"Jonathon Archibald Hebert, Senior," Richard said. "Done ran the tags on your car."

"Really?" Michelle screamed. "I can't even just get me a malt?"

Richard playfully pinched his sister's nose.

"Uh, after what Brian did to you huh?" Richard said. "Uh, not without us checking him out yeah."

He nodded to Jack.

"Don't worry about answering your phone no," he said as he prepared to walk around his car. "I done already let everyone know Jack checks out okay."

"I hate you," she yelled at him.

"Uh huh, love you too," Richard said, opening his door. "Ought to bring him over on Sunday."

Jack chuckled and a moment later, Michelle also laughed.

"I am so sorry about that," she said. "God, what an uncomfortable first date, huh?"

"Actually? I think this is a great first date," Jack said.

"And that's what I'm going to call you!" she shrilled after giving her malt a big slurp. "Archibald, huh? Awchee!"

"Aw God don't," he protested.

"Aw, but Awchee!" she teased.

Her phone did buzz a few more times, but she ignored it as they ate their ice cream treats.

When she pulled up next to his car, the only car on the parking lot of Kizzy's School of Dance, they continued to quietly talk. Michelle could see that Jack was growing more and more nervous.

"Awchee, you trying to kiss me?" she finally asked.

"I uh, I yeah," he admitted.

And she pulled him by his shirt front and kissed him.

"Give me your phone number; you're coming over for Sunday dinner whether you want to or not," she said after they broke apart.

"Thirty one messages?" she asked, looking at her cell phone display again. "Really?"

With another long kiss, Jack got out of her car and opened the door of his car. He smiled, waved, and then drove away, leaving her to answer thirty one text messages.

Chapter 4

Jack walked into the building and Whitney, the sweet, empty headed girl that sat behind the front desk in the lobby blushed as she greeted him. On the third floor, some women blushed, others avoided eye contact.

And a few of the men chuckled. Garrett smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

Then Jack remembered what he'd told Jill the previous evening and couldn't help but guffaw out loud.

"Won't tell no one, huh?" he asked Jill when he saw her in the break room.

"Oh, but I didn't," she denied, face a mask of guilt.

That Sunday, he checked out okay, especially since he wore his Saints pullover shirt with khakis.

"And see? Man knows how to tuck that shirt into them pants," Michelle's father, Barry Voisin said to Michelle's older brother.

""Mr. Awchee, we go swimming at your house again?" Amelia, Mealy Melancon asked.

"Well, I'm sorry, Sweetheart, but I don't live in that house anymore," Jack said.

Then he remembered, his apartment complex did have a swimming pool. Quite often he would come home from work and see the various beautiful, and not so beautiful bodies in and around the pool.

"But my apartment does have a swimming pool," he said.

"Well, can we go swimming at your apartment?" Mandy asked.

"Fine by me," Jack agreed.

"Do you really want to see this body in a bathing suit?" Michelle whispered.

"Good God yes," Jack said emphatically.

"Awchee, you are so bad," she laughed out loud.

He checked out okay. Especially when he told Barry and Richard that he generally went down to Red's Sports Bar to watch the Saints play.

"Aw man, they used to have them the hottest wings, yeah. I swear you couldn't feel your tongue after; they still got them wings?" Barry asked.

"Yes," both Jack and Richard said.

If anyone thought it just a little odd that Michelle's beau was twenty years older than her, no one said anything.

Jack and Barry reached for the last biscuit to sop up that last bit of rice and gravy and smothered steak. Marie Voisin rapped Barry's knuckles with her spoon.

"He our guest yeah, you give him that biscuit," she ordered her husband.

"But I need me that biscuit," Barry whined, patting his ample belly. "Look, I'm 'bout waste away yeah."

"Oh, well, I sure wouldn't want that happen no," Jack said. "Go on get you that last one."

"No, no, you look hungrier than me," Barry smiled widely.

"Okay, see you on Wednesday," Jack said after telling Michelle's six brothers and sisters and Mealy and Mandy, and her mom and dad goodbye.

"I got wait that long?" Michelle asked.

"Well, no, we can go Side By Side and then Foxtrot's; we been practicing enough, huh?" Jack said.

"Ooh, Side By Side?" Marie asked. "Man, Barry, why you don't take me Side By Side, huh?"

"Because I'm cheap yeah," Barry said.

"We taking my van yeah, I ain't getting in that itty bitty thing you call a car me," Michelle said, wrinkling her nose at his Smart Car.

"Aw, what you talking about? That? That's a Mercedes-Benz yeah," Jack said.

"That ain't no Mercedes-Benz!" Michelle hooted.

"Yeah it is yeah, made by Mercedes-Benz," Jack said.

They hugged and kissed for as long as they felt comfortable with her entire family watching, then Jack promised he'd be there at six thirty the following evening.

Jack was amazed at how easily he had slipped back into the dialect of his youth. His mother's parents spoke only a little English, speaking mostly Cajun French. His father's parents spoke a heavily accented English, and when frustrated or excited, slipped into their Cajun French. Many conversations around the dinner table were a mixture of English and Cajun French.

When Henry Jonathon Hebert and Elise Cynthia Arnaud Hebert wanted to keep something out of their children's' ears, they spoke in Cajun French to each other. Little did they realize that their three boys all understood Cajun French.

In High School and in College, Jack had slowly lost that accent. As an administrator at St. Elizabeth's Public Utilities, he did his best to enunciate his words clearly, without the Cajun accent.

But an afternoon around the Voisin table had put him right back into his heritage.

He logged onto the Internet, located the telephone number for Side By Side Steakhouse and left a message, requesting a table for two at six forty five the following evening.

Even a phone call from his ex-wife did not spoil his good mood.

"Hi Jack, it's me," she simpered.

"See that," he said, fighting against slipping into a Cajun accent.

Jacqueline had mocked the accent when she was out of earshot of his parents. She also mocked their cooking, labeling it unhealthy.