Dani - A Love Story

"No," she answered, seeming to shake it off. "I was just worried about spilling the coffee."

The opening was a success. Several people did order custom boxes and early customers were actually able to pick their shiny new NitCom computers by the late afternoon. The formal opening festivities ended at six in the evening, and we headed back to Pittsburgh.

In the beginning Dani was very effervescent and happy with the success of the opening, but she soon became quiet. After a few minutes I stole a sideward glance at her. She was wracked with silent sobs, trying to wipe away the tears running down her cheeks. I couldn't avoid asking her what was wrong.

"You dummy!" she gasped between sobs. "You forgot to log off your computer before you left. I hit the mouse by accident when I grabbed the memo and the screen saver went off."

Oh, shit! She had seen my message to Austin. Crap, crap, crap! I wanted to say it wasn't what she thought it was but what she was thinking was probably spot on. I scrambled to think of the fabricated rationale I had planned to use when I got around to telling her I was bailing out. Even if I had been able to remember it, it wasn't relevant now. My rationale had glossed over (more like ignored) the fact that I had a choice about going back to Austin. If she had even skimmed the message she would have realized that I was asking to return. Beautiful! Just fucking beautiful!

"Dani..." I said hesitantly.

"Please don't say anything. I didn't read the whole memo, just the part between the lines." Her voice was heavy with sadness and disappointment. Yeah. Spot on.

Not knowing what the Hell to say, I did the smart thing and said nothing.

After a few minutes she seemed to have pulled herself together a little. "Bowser, I was so happy when you didn't run away that first day. I know you were motivated by 'mission first', but I appreciated that you took a lot of effort not to make me uncomfortable. That you were willing to listen to my story."

After a pause, she continued. "I guess it's human nature to wish for the happy ending. It doesn't matter now, but my feelings for you started back in school. I knew that telling you I was falling in love with you would freak you out and possibly send you scurrying. It was awfully hard to hide and suppress those feelings."

My God! This was turning into my worst nightmare. Here I was with these growing feelings I really didn't understand. They had started without knowing one way or another whether she had feelings for me. Now she was confirming her love for me. It would make it that much harder to cut and run.

More silence. At least the sobbing and tears appeared to have stopped. She seemed somewhat relieved. Perhaps it was the chance to finally stop suppressing her feelings and to tell me of them. As for me, since things had come out eventually I was glad to have them out now without my having to try to deceive her. And, boy, did I admire her professionalism and self control in setting everything aside till we pulled off the opening.

On a sudden impulse I drove to a small intimate supper club I had discovered earlier in my stay.

"Hey! We pulled this thing off. Today was a great success. We need to celebrate!" I said.

She must have caught the enthusiasm in my voice. "My face is a disaster," she replied as I parked the car.

"I expect there'll be somewhere you can fix it up."

She did a little first aid using the visor mirror, then we headed in. As we approached the maitre'd, she excused herself and headed for the powder room. I asked if he could sneak us in without a reservation. Fortunately, there was some big event going on downtown so their usual crowd had mostly dined earlier or opted for someplace closer to downtown. When Dani returned from the loo (I know that's Brit, but I just wanted to use it), he was able to seat us at a nice table not far from the dance floor.

Dani ordered a dry martini straight up and and I ordered a Manhattan with bitters. "Your dad taught you that part about the bitters, didn't he?"

"Yeah." My dad had been sort of a legend around the fraternity house for his knowledge of classic cocktails and good liquor.

When our cocktails arrived we touched glasses to salute the success of the McKeesport store opening. As if by agreement we limited our dinner conversation to shop talk, analyzing the day's events, identifying areas for improvement in future openings, and reliving a couple of humorous moments. I studied her face as she sat across from me. Although I could still see Willie there behind the well-done makeup, I saw fine well-formed features and bone structure that taken together would be attractive on whoever owned owned that face regardless of gender. As a woman she would not be called drop-dead gorgeous but that face would still be handsome and distinguished long after many blessed with youthful beauty had gone to seed.

After a nicely prepared surf and turf dinner, the matter of dessert came up. Like most places the desserts here were large servings served with two spoons. After somehow managing to give each other a "no guarantees written or implied" look, we settled on the old standard apple crunch a la mode.

Over coffee we fell silent, each lost in our own thoughts, listening to the piano player. The attractive middle-aged woman skillfully pumped out standards and threw in an occasional smokey-voiced vocal. I don't know what possessed me, but when she launched into a lively version of "Chain Gang", I rose and asked Dani to dance. A look of surprise crossed her features. I sensed she was going to ask me if I was sure but had thought better of it. She rose and allowed me to lead her to the dance floor.

We fell into an easy cha cha step. I thought back to Willie at the fraternity. He had been quite the dancer. He had never hurt for dates because girls seemed to sense he was interested in dancing and having a general fun time rather than in getting into their pants. Dani was still lithe and graceful. As the old rock lyrics went, she was "poetry in motion". Dancing with her was a lot of fun. I just hoped I wasn't embarrassing her.

When the song ended we started back to our table, but when the piano lady began belting out the granddaddy "Rock Around the Clock" I reached for her hand. "One more?"

"Think you're up to it?" she grinned.

"Oh, yeah!"

She wore me out, but what a way to go! Suddenly the song changed to "Do You Love Me". Patrick Swayze I'm not, but I somehow managed to keep up with her. When it thankfully ended, we started again to head back to our table, happy but exhausted. At least I was slightly winded.

Now the pianist started into "Cherish". In for a dime, in for a dollar. "Last one? I asked. "Oh, yeah!" she responded happily. She came into my arms and we flowed into the melody. We were close but not exactly plastered against each other. After a bit she drifted a bit away from me and studied my face. "You okay?" she whispered in a serious tone.

"Oh, yeah!" We'd been using that line a lot, but it fit and I meant it.

"You've got a nice smile, Bowser," she said drifting back to me, much closer than before.

This whole thing was seeming waaayyy too right. It was as if this was something I had subconsciously been wanting for weeks now. She was tight against me and despite our business suits I could sense her breasts against my chest. Her cheek occasionally brushed softly against mine and her breath would be faint against my ear. Two things occurred to me simultaneously: I was falling in love with Dani and I was getting a hard-on. Neither was according to plan. Neither was the fact that I wasn't all that upset by either one. For some unknown reason I began to softly sing the lyrics. "Cherish is the word I use to describe
all the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside..." We stayed like that I don't know long, wrapped up in each other.

"Earth to Bowser! Earth to Bowser!" The piano music had stopped. I, apparently, was a basket case. "Pianist's break time," Dani explained leading me by the hand back to our table. When she excused herself to the powder room I settled the check and walked over to put a twenty in the pianist's tip snifter.

I rose as she approached the table and we left the restaurant. Once in the car, I said "I'll drop you off at your place and come by tomorrow to pick you up so we can return these wheels and pick up ours." Neither of us said much as I followed her precise directions to her apartment. Without thinking, I parked the car, got out, and walked around to open her door.

"Please come up. I think we need to talk." Her tone, while not ominous, was somehow grave.

"Okay." I always was one for the quick rejoinder.

Dani's apartment was small but tastefully furnished. She invited me to a seat on the sofa while she perched primly on the love seat. "Bowser, you realize I still have my penis and testicles, don't you?" Bam! Right between the eyes. I didn't seem to have a quick rejoinder for that one. A real conversation stopper.

She was still looking me in the eye, not flinching. "I'm sorry," she said in a softer voice. "It's just that tonight was so wonderful."

Still in processing mode, I didn't know how to respond.

"I was really happy, and it was feeling like it could be the start of something serious. And I don't think you're carrying a jackknife in your pocket." Oh, shit! Busted!

"As I told you on the way to the restaurant, I've been busy falling in love with you all over again ever since you showed up at PennzMarket. I'd been desperately hoping that you'd be less than the way I remembered you from State, or that you wouldn't remember me. Like either one of those was gonna happen!"

She paused introspectively, then continued, "I don't want you to go back to Austin. I want you to stay here and fall in love with me, as I am with you, and be my life partner."

That was really laying it all out in the street. Still scrambling for a coherent reply, I started to say "Dani, I..."

"Just shut up and listen, please... Your actions tonight said so much. I don't think you really understand what happened at that club yet." She had that right. "Look, I know I'm maybe setting myself for a major hurt. You might run retching to the bathroom the first time you touch or see my cock or you might bolt the first time someone says something cruel and homophobic to you. I understand that. But loving someone, committing to that person, is about risk."

"Dani, I honestly don't know what my reaction would be to those situations. Sure, I'd like to think I'd be a knight in shining armor, but I can't know till I confront them. I hope you can believe me that at least part of my reason for asking to go back was to save you from the possibility of that hurt."

"I understand that, Bowser, but I'm willing to face that. I want you to stay. I can't change who I am or what I am or how I feel toward you."

Shit, shit, shit! Damn me for leaving that email up on my computer. Things had gotten several quantum leaps more complicated. No more chance to sneak out under cover of darkness. No more assurance that I really wanted to run away. Crap!

A small dark part of me wanted to say "Okay. Let's get this over with. Whip it out and let me grab it." Crude, yet unfeeling. Wonderful. No, we were talking love and commitment, not hooking up.

"Dani, you're something special. I'd be a fool not to want you. I know I could say I'll get back to you on that tomorrow or Monday or sometime in the future. But waiting won't change or improve anything. If you're willing to get on that ride then so am I. We'll just have to hang on and see where it takes us."

As if moved by the same impulse both of us rose and moved into each other's arms. After I don't know how long I said "It's late and it was a long day. I should be going." I moved my lips to hers and kissed her. No tongue, just a nice firm definite kiss. Then we stepped back from each other.

"Thanks for the happiest night of my life. So far, that is..." she smiled.

She gave me directions back to my hotel and agreed on a time for me to come by tomorrow, then I left.

Back in my room, I went over what had transpired between me and Dani three or four hundred times. Part of me was elated. Part of me was relieved. All of me was scared shitless. Having acknowledged that, I somehow managed to fall asleep.

I went to Dani's place the following morning at the appointed time. She made me a cup of coffee. From then till we picked up our cars we chatted pleasantly about nothing in particular. Monday morning my first act at the office was to revise the offending email to Austin and embark on the rest of my life.

Now that I had made that decision, I needed to figure out how to conduct myself in my relationship with Dani. I knew I more than a little in love with her. Even though it meant potentially exposing myself to distain or outright hatred by some of my friends and associates I did not feel right about the prospect of having a secret, hidden romance. It wouldn't be fair to Dani. I would not want her to feel that I was in any way ashamed of being her lover.

In addition to social considerations, there was the physical aspect. As I had never been in love with, or even attracted to, anyone with the same plumbing as mine, I had never really thought overly much about lovemaking between two biological males. I had heard many homophobic jokes about corn-holing and cocksuckers and probably had even repeated some of them. Even when perusing compendium porn sites I'd never had an inclination to follow links to gay or "shemale" web sites. I had zero knowledge of, or vicarious experience with, male-male intimacy. I would have to let Dani guide me and set the pace.

Then, with my head hurting from all this heavy-duty thinking, I got back to doing the work NitCom paid me the big bucks to do. Dani and I were on tap to brief the PennzMarket big brass on the McKeesport opening the following day. I called Dani. We decided that we should each make our own list, in isolation, of the good and bad points as we had seen them. We would then compare our lists over an order-in lunch and prepare our usual "knock their socks off" presentation in the afternoon.

The plan worked like a champ and we received several compliments on the briefing, as well as kudos for the overall success of the opening. We had a DVD of the presentation made and sent it along along with a transcript of it to NitCom. The wheels there indicated they were similarly impressed. We spent the rest of the week tweaking things for the opening of the Newcastle store.

Working closely with Dani was wonderful. We were able to communicate effectively and easily work out wrinkles caused by differences of opinion. Every night I wanted to take her out, be together somewhere away from the office, but I held myself back. I wanted to take this slowly, not crowd or smother her till I could determine the parameters of our relationship...oh, Hell...our romance.

One of the changes we made for the Newcastle store opening was to hold it on a Saturday rather than on Friday as the McKeesport opening had been. That decision had been made for corporate convenience rather than customer convenience. While Friday had worked okay we had recommended the change because we felt we would reach a lot more impulse customers on a Saturday. So Friday night we loaded up our stuff in a company car.

The plan was for me to leave my car and drive home in the company car then I would swing by to pick up Dani at her place Saturday morning and head to Newcastle. We made eye contact as she fumbled with opening her car. There was a nanosecond pause as if each of us wanted to say something to the other. However, the window of opportunity slammed shut and we went our separate ways.

We left for Newcastle at oh-dark-thirty. On the way we stayed busy discussing the opening, especially the changes we would be instituting. The event went well and was more successful in terms of flow, first-day sales, and other important factors. We struck the set at about seven o'clock and started back to Pittsburgh.

About eight o'clock we pulled in to a popular chain restaurant which seemed to be finished with the evening dinner rush. We skipped drinks and shared one of their "twofer" dinner specials. By the time we got back in the car we had pretty much talked the day's events to death and the conversation moved to recollections of our fraternity days.

I was amazed by the irony or whatever of it. Here I was talking with a feminine creature, to whom I was romantically attached, about a time she had been one of my fairly close guy friends. The fact that she was so casual and nonchalant about about it, as if it was the normal thing the world. Occasionally we would talk about her "female" days during summer vacations and her feelings when she transitioned from one mode to another.

I was glad we found it so easy to talk about those days without hesitation or awkwardness. We were truly "into" each other. I was on cloud nine and Dani appeared happy and content also. It seemed preordained that a little later we once again in her living room.

Somewhat different this time, though. Any discomfort was gone. Dani had only turned on one lamp. We'd taken off our suit jackets. We'd kicked off our shoes. I'd lost my necktie while she'd unfurled her braid and shaken out her shoulder-length auburn hair. We each had a glass of wine and the stereo was making soft noises. Most importantly, we were sitting side by side on the love seat. Everything was just as I'd been hoping it would be since the previous weekend.

Was it time? It felt right. I moved to her and brought my lips to hers. No resistance. I could sense that her lips were slightly parted. I let my tongue probe gently. After the slightest hesitation she responded, welcoming my tongue with hers. Almost as if we had no control of our bodies our arms went around each other. We stayed in that embrace for what seemed like forever.

"I love you, Dani!" I whispered when we came up for air.

"I love you, too, Bowser," she smiled softly.

Bowser, what a weird name. But the way she intoned it, it sounded wonderful. If it was Bowser she wanted then I would forever be her Bowser. We fell back into our kiss.

I began to lightly stroke her arm. As if of its own volition hand moved to the side of her breast. Realizing what had happened I was about to remove it when I felt her hand covering mine and pressing it more firmly to her.

"I like that, Bowser. It's okay." After a moment she added, "They're small but they're all me. Just a little help from hormones, no implants." There was definite pride there.

Before we knew it one or the other of us, or maybe both, had opened her blouse. Her bra was a simple white cotton affair. "Guess I'm a little underdressed for the occasion," Dani grinned.

"I'm a man of simple tastes," I grinned back as she reached behind her to unhook the bra.

My hand immediately was under the cup enveloping her warm firmness. I felt the hard nipple pressing against my palm. We returned to our kiss with renewed urgency. Her hand busily pulled the front of my shirt and tee shirt out of my trousers then slipped inside the tee shirt. As I gently massaged her breast, she slowly dragged her nails along my chest. The ball of her foot was stroking my calf. It was a wonderful dream come true. Not only was I in love, I was in lust. The best of both worlds.

I let my hand move to Dani's thigh. She seemed to freeze then pulled out of our embrace. "No, Bowser. Not now. Not yet," she implored.

"Okay," I said softly, hoping I was keeping my disappointment out of my voice. Not yet. Was that "not yet" as in "give me a minute to adjust" or "not till sometime in the future"? The fact that she was busying herself getting presentable again pretty much answered that question.