Dark Handsome - Conclusion

I finally got Jasmine to let go, then Sharon leapt into the vacant spot. There were whoops and cheers over the kiss she gave me. I grinned as I twirled her, before putting her down. "It's not official, not yet. You haven't actually asked me yet."

Her eye got wide and she grinned. "Pig," she said, dropping to her knee.

"Goddess," I said, before dropping to mine, beating her to the punch. "Sharon Williams, would you do me the honor of marrying me, being the mother of our children, and being my lifelong companion until only death parts us?"

She was speechless, gasping and trying to form coherent words. Finally Jas slapped her on the back of her head. "Answer him, dummy!"

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" I think the neighbors in the next county heard her.

Tom came home to a party, grinning when he heard the news. Jasmine was looking at him all misty eyed, and he surprised everyone by dropping to his own knee, holding out the ring box. Apparently he had been carrying it around with him all this time. "Jasmine, I've waited long enough. I love you with every ounce of my being, but if you refuse, we're over. I think I've been more than patient and given you all the space you needed, but it's time. We need to start working on our family soon, so you need to decide now. Is my love enough, or do you want out?"

Surprising us all, Jasmine fainted. It was a good thing Sharon and I were close and could catch her, easing her on to the couch. It was just a matter of seconds before her eyes fluttered open. I thought Sharon was pretty loud, but Jas probably deafened every dog in three counties. "YES! YES! YES!"

She snatched the ring he was still holding out of his hands, her own shaking so hard it took her a minute to get it on her finger. "This is never coming off. You understand, NEVER. I want to be buried wearing it."

There wasn't a lot of work effort put out the rest of that day.

*****

The guys were still following me. It had gotten past being old, so I started posting little signs in my back windshield with my schedule for the day on it. I'd blow the horn and wave as I pulled into my apartment parking lot. Once, I deliberately lost them, then circled behind and followed them for a while. Apparently, they had no sense of humor, flipping me off as I drove by. Tom warned me to stop fucking with them, but they were starting to get on my nerves.

Everything came to a head when my apartment got tossed. Tossed was the key word, because they made a complete mess, throwing everything I owned on to the floor, destroying a lot of it. What they didn't know was I'd used some of the things I'd learned over the years from Jack, and later Tom, and the whole thing was recorded, audio and video.

You could hear them bitching as they worked. "What are we looking for, exactly?"

"Don't know, anything electronic, for one. Anything we can find on Joe Morgan, files, papers, laptops, anything." The funny part was I had been gradually moving my things into the apartment with Sharon, my computers, all my electronics, including cameras, had been gone for about a week.

The landlord was beyond pissed. There wasn't a lot of structural damage, but the place was a mess. I was on my last week, anyway, so I told him he could keep the security deposit to help with the cleanup costs. I called the cops, made a report, and gave them a copy of the surveillance tape, telling them exactly where to find the guys who did it.

Tom called me in from an assignment three days later, saying it was urgent. I dropped my cheating spouse like a rock and headed for the office. When I entered, there were three men and a woman with Tom. The female, in a designer suit that had just a slightly higher hem and a plunging neckline more suited to a party dress, spoke.

"Do you know who I am?"

I just shrugged. "I'd hazard to guess that you're someone who has a very high opinion of herself, but other than that, no. Before you speak, I'm not really interested in finding out who you are. If you're selling, I'm not buying. If you're buying it doesn't matter what it is, you can't afford it. Now that you've managed to waste my time, do you have a dog and pony act you can run out? If not, I'll be going now."

She went a deep, vibrant red, then paled to almost translucent. One of the men stood, also in a suit that may as well been made of money. "You need to..."

"Leave before I get pissed? You're exactly right. Tom, I'm going back to work."

The other two jumped up, glowering. Hired muscle, I suspect. I grinned. "Call in your puppies before one of them has an accident on the rug. I'd hate to have to roll up a newspaper and swat them on their nose."

Tom was struggling to keep a straight face. The woman burst out, highly pissed. "Goddamnit! Is that natural talent or did you study it in college? Shut the fuck up, smartass, and listen. This could be to your advantage. Now..."

I grinned, stuck my hands in my ears, and started singing. "Lalalalalalalala."

If steam could have come out of their ears it would have. The man made a grab at an arm, and I pulled my finger out of my ear long enough to slap the shit out of him. You could see the handprint on his cheek. The goons jumped up, knocking their chairs in eagerness to get to me. I jumped back, putting a couch between us. The went around each side and I flipped over the front, putting it between us once again. It could have gotten really interesting if we hadn't all heard the clicks, looking around to see Tom standing, the hammer back on an old-fashioned looking hogleg. Everybody just stopped.

"All right, play time is over. You asked to meet him, and I extended a professional courtesy to you. I told you plainly he might not be interested but you could take a shot. You took it and missed. I ought to let you continue, but my bride-to-be just redecorated. If you think he's irritating, wait until you see her pissed. Now, get the hell out of my office, and don't come back!"

"I'm going to sue!"

Tom grinned. "Go ahead. See the placard by the door?"

PLEASE BE ADVISED ALL CONVERSATIONS WILL BE RECORDED FOR THE PROTECTION OF BOTH PARTIES.

The woman threw a card at my feet. "This definitely isn't over. Tom; you need to choose your friends more carefully. When you see reason, call me. We can make it worth your while."

I stopped them at the door. "What do you think I know, or have? All this mystery and I don't have a clue what's going on. If this is about the Morgan case, it's over. I don't even work for that agency any longer. If you think someone has something, you need to talk to my old boss. He's the one who handled the case, I just did background work."

"We know you have it." The suit said it flatly, like a pronouncement of absolute fact.

"I don't even know what 'it' is. Go away. Leave me in peace. Whatever you're afraid of doesn't concern me. If you keep pushing I'll start wondering. If I wonder long enough I'll try to discover what has you and your clients are so terrified. I tell you what; get your client or clients over here right now. I'll be more inclined to talk if I know who's been trying to make my life difficult. I may even ask them to explain themselves. Think you can do that?"

"You're way out of your depth here, boy. Just give it to us and we'll be on our way."

"If I had the magical 'it' your bosses are so desperate to get, what's to keep them from eliminating a loose end once they have it? No, once again, I don't have 'it'. Say I had, what's it worth to get it back?"

The woman smiled, sure they had me. "Oh, I'm sure my client would be very grateful. Grateful enough that you wouldn't have to work for a long time. Incentive enough?"

"Damn Skippy! I'm going to start looking just as soon as you leave. I'll get back to you. Have a super sparkly day. May it all be sunshine and roses, and may magical unicorns be flying out of your asses. We done here?"

"Aarrrgh!" She looked at her companions and goons. "I knew this was a waste of time. You've read his bio. If he had what we're looking for, the cops would have had it a long time ago. I think we're wasting time here, and need to pursue other leads."

She turned back to me. "Boy, a word of advice. You look like you can handle what life throws at you. You could probably mix it up pretty good, but there are a lot more of them than there are of you. I'd hate to see that pretty face messed up, especially if you decide to get back into acting. And your girlfriend, a pretty little thing; it would be a shame if something happened to her. Maybe you need to look around again. You may find something you 'forgot'. Think about it."

She was smirking until she saw the look in my eyes. She started to step back but I had her slammed against the wall before anyone could react. The goons started to move but Tom stopped them. "Don't do it, boys. She started this, now she gets what he decides to give her. Don't worry, I doubt he'll hurt her, much."

I had my hand around her throat, squeezing. There was sheer terror in her eyes. "Bad move, bitch. You should never threaten someone a 'boy scout' loves. I was actually in the Boy Scouts, got a lot of badges, including one for knots. I could tie you up in a way that every time you moved the knots get tighter, until you slowly strangle yourself. It would probably take two hours or more. Then again, you're a mouthpiece for assholes with a pretty face and a hot body. When I got done with you, a dog wouldn't fuck you, and you'd have a hard time talking with your tongue cut out. You hear me bitch? If Sharon gets a stubbed toe and I think you're behind it, life as you know it will cease to exist. Out! Now!" I let go and she let out a small whimper as she slid to the floor. There was a dark spot on the front of her gray pinstripe skirt.

One of the goons had finally had enough and charged. I knocked his ass out with a wingtip to the mouth. We all heard the teeth crunch. His dentist was going to be busy for a while. I was about to stomp on him a little when Tom yelled.

"DIRK! Calm down. It's over. These fine people were just leaving."

I looked at the man, reaching down and picking up the card. "I think I'll keep this. A point of reference should accidents befall anyone I hold dear. Off you go now. Get Miss Shit Don't Stink here a change of drawers, and you might want to pick up an air freshener for your car. Just a suggestion."

She wanted to say something in the worst way, but one look at me and she looked down. It was the first time she had seen the stain, and her flush made her cheeks look purple. Pure hatred oozed through every pore, but she was smart enough to just rush out the door. I stopped the others.

"Tell your boss this. I don't know shit, I ain't got shit, but shit is definitely what you'll get if you don't leave me alone. Push me and I'll dig until I find something to make all your lives very uncomfortable."

It got worse when they police arrested the three guys who tossed my apartment. A lawyer showed up, saying it couldn't possibly be them because they were with her at the time. When they asked her to sign a statement attesting to it, she did, with a flourish. Then they trotted out the video, and charged her with giving false statements to the police in an attempt to subvert justice or something along those lines, and she had to go before the bar two months later after pleading down to a lesser charge, and they suspended her license for a year.

I sued Soloman and Associates, and they denied the men even worked for them. When we allowed them to see the tapes, and listen while they talked about the agency and their client, they tried to settle. I ended up with a hundred grand and they went out of business six months later.

Before that all happened I talked to Alice and Gerry. Gerry was still surfing the Dark Web, and she said the conversations had just about halted. My tails had disappeared, or gotten so much better I couldn't detect them. I was working, Sharon was working, everything was sailing along fine.

*****

I got a phone call from an old friend, the commercial producer I'd helped when his employees were skimming from him.

"Dirk! What's up? Still a P.I.?"

Yeah, it pays the bills. How's the commercial world?"

"Busy. Look, you still got your card?"

"Yeah, not that it does me any good."

"Well, I may have something for you. Can you come by the office?"

I had just wrapped up my last assignment and hadn't started on a new one, so I had some free time. "Sure. When?"

"Tomorrow too soon?"

"What time?"

"Nine would be good. That'll give me an hour to explain the campaign."

We rang off, and I wandered into the office to pick Sharon up for lunch. We went to her favorite place, and while she destroyed a pile of ribs I told her about the call.

"That's great, honey! Maybe you'll get your break!"

"I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed. And besides, if I do get back into acting, it would mean traveling and long periods apart. Not what I want in my life right now, especially after we get married and get serious about a family."

Her eyes filled with tears. We were going to tie the knot in three months, Jasmine and Tom in two. She and Jasmine spent all their spare time reading bridal magazines and weighing honeymoon destinations. Tom and I stayed as far away as we could when they went into what we called 'marriage mode,' and told them we would go along with whatever they wanted.

"Babies," she sighed, a soft look in her eyes. We had agreed to wait two years before we tried for children, to work off what Sharon called 'any rough edges', and we had agreed on three, spaced two years apart. I wondered what my life would be like chasing after a four year old, a two year old, and a baby, but whatever it was, it would be worth it.

I went to see Bob, and he laid the campaign out for me. It was for a new high end dog food company, and they wanted to target a younger crowd. Seems their research told them a lot more young people opt for pets instead of babies early in their relationships. The writer was really good, a series starting with the young couple discussing 'adoption' in general terms, weighing the pros and cons. The next one would be of them visiting a pound, them agonizing over the choices and how to take care of a puppy, down to just the right food. The next was of them giving the puppy various foods and having him reject them until they got to the clients' product. He was talking six to ten commercials over eighteen months, depending on their success.

"You fit the look the company wants perfectly: young, a hunk, sensitive enough to care for a pet. We just need to link you to the perfect actress, project a perfect picture of a young professional couple. It won't take long, two to three days per shoot, and we can work it around you regular job. We want to do a couple to show the company. Interested?"

Of course I was. "You knew I would be. Let me talk to my boss, see if I can get the time off."

He grinned, knowing he had me hooked.

*****

Tom just grinned. "Hollywood finally called, huh? Go on, we can handle it for a week or so."

Jasmine and Sharon were a lot more enthusiastic. I took Sharon with me, just for the fun of it. Bob, at the insistence of the dog food company, had hired a blond who obviously thought she was too good for the role. Our chemistry was awful, and she and the dog shared a mutual dislike. The animal didn't warm to her at all, and you could tell. He seemed to like me just fine, and I thought he was one of the prettiest animals I'd ever seen. The dog was a crossbreed, a boxer father and a black lab mother. He had the body and facial characteristics of a boxer, but he was jet black except for a blaze of white on his chest and one white foot.

He was sixteen weeks old, still growing, in the long legs and big feet stage, and a little clumsy. Between takes, he bumped in to the blond once and she raised her hand to strike him. By then I'd had enough so I pulled him beside me.

"You need to listen to me. If you didn't want this job, you shouldn't have taken it. You try striking that animal again and it will be bad. I may even give you a taste of how it feels. Now act like a professional instead of a diva and go to work. You got that?"

She flushed and bit back an angry retort because we were called back. The scenes progressively got worse. The dog was afraid of her, now, and wouldn't come near her. There was a scene where she was supposed to be dozing in a hammock with the puppy on top of her and he flat refused to lie down with her, breaking from his handler and cowering under a sofa on which Sharon was sitting. The handler told us to give it a rest until the animal calmed, which pissed Bob off. "This is turning into a disaster," he said. "The woman doesn't like the dog, and the dog feels it. No wonder he won't respond."

Ten minutes later the puppy was on the couch, licking Sharon's face, his stump of a tail going frantically while she giggled. When I sat down, he was all over me as well, before snuggling into Sharon's lap, his front paws around her. He seemed to be hugging her, and it was pretty easy to see who he preferred.

I looked up to see the cameraman filming like crazy and Bob grinning. He called a halt to the day, telling the woman he'd be back in touch for the next shoot. She flounced out, obviously not happy. Bob called the company and got a rep over, showing him the days' rushes. The man was frowning at the scenes with the blond. Then he played him the clip with the puppy on the couch with us. His decision was immediate. "Fire the blond. Get that woman. Make her a good offer. Do you think she'd have good chemistry with the actor as well?"

Bob laughed. "Oh, I think they'll get along. They're engaged, after all."

The company man grinned and Bob gave us a call. "Your girlfriend, can she act?"

I wondered where that was going. "She came out here to be an actress. Still has her card. You know how rough the business is, Bob. She gave up pretty quick. Good thing for me, I think she has real talent. Why?"

"Because we want her to replace the blond. All you have to do is be yourselves, and the dog loves you. Think she'll be interested?"

I really didn't know, and she wasn't as enthused as I thought she would be when I asked her. "Give it a try, honey. We'll make a few commercials then walk away. It's good money, and we could use it if we're going to get a house."

That swayed her. We had been looking, liking the small town where Tom was based, but even there, it was California prices, and we weren't sure we could afford what we wanted.

The first commercial was done without the dog, just a young couple discussing adoption as they snuggled on a couch. The next was them visiting the pound, looking. The puppy was a natural; running up to the fence and jumping up while Sharon bent down and petted him. She looked up with tears in her eyes and said, "This one." The last shot was of us driving away, the puppy firmly in her arms.

The next shoot was of us at a pet store, Happy, tugging on his leash. I don't know what the dog's name had been, but Sharon called him Mr. Happy and the name stuck. He tugged at his leash as he sniffed around a prominent display of the company's product while the clerk extolled its virtues. The last shot was of Happy riding in the buggy, surrounded by bags and cans of dog food.

The next was of Happy chowing down on the food while Sharon beamed. Then there were shots of her and the puppy frolicking in the yard as I got home from my job, and Happy leaping into my arms while Sharon hugged us both.

We shot all of them in three weeks and stopped, waiting for the public reaction. I don't think any of us expected what we got. The public loved them! Bob was quick to capitalize on it, getting a contract for ten more commercials, with substantial raises for all of us.