Dark Stag Ch. 16

"I don't really know how." I said, being honest.

"Oh my god..." Devari said, shocked, "You're truly like... so innocent yet so fucking bad!" My eyes darted around, unsure what to make of his note.

"Okay?" I shrugged.

"First rule. You want to pucker those lips lightly. Always start off soft. You don't want to be too firm when doing it. Ease into it!" He leaned forward, demonstrating. The kiss was just melting my insides, but he didn't need to know that, "Second rule... You want to go with the rhythm. When someone's kissing you, you want to follow the pace they set. Third rule, don't use a lot of spit. It's gross... just gross... Fourth rule? Your hands are secret weapons. Use them to explore! Lastly, don't think... Let your imagination run wild. I kid you not, if you do this, it can make kissing last for forever..."

Joy was written all over Devari's face! It was clear he enjoyed kissing! Hell, I enjoyed it too, a lot but again, showing it wouldn't exactly benefit these feelings. Devari could only see disgust on my face though. He rolled his eyes, leaning in to kiss me. I did what was told, except being imaginative. I didn't want to get too lost in the kiss.

Eventually Devari withdrew. He looked at me with a bit of disappointment.

"You're not giving me much to work with right now. Why are you holding back?" He asked. It shocked me. How could he tell.

"I'm not holding back..." I argued.

"If a machine could kiss, it'd kiss like you! Yes you are holding back!" He said back. The insult made me want to push him off of me, but I just stared at him, "Kiss me, like I am the love of your life!"

It made me so angry.

"Okay..." I responded. He dove in on me once again. This time, I imagined he was Richard. I imagined those supple lips and firm hands were Richard's, that muscular body laying on top of mine, Richard's! We stayed like this for a while. Soon, Devari withdrew and our eyes opened.

The disappointment filled me upon remembering this was Devari not Richard. Nonetheless, I pouted and kept it rolling. Devari's hand went under my leg, lifting it up as his cock grinded against my opening. To my shock, the boy was soft! His penis wasn't even hard while mine was feeling as though it was going to burst through my shorts. It too made me sort of angry!

He resumed kissing me, the anger subsiding as I got lost in his grasp. Soon his kisses went from my mouth down to my chin, to my neck, my chest, then to my core. I twitched and squirmed as he hit there. He laughed, looking up at me.

"Found your little weakness..." He said, looking devilishly good! It did nothing but make me want him more! I was so torn but too deep within it to quit. Soon he put his mouth around my cock, and began sucking it so slowly, with such intensity I couldn't help but dig into the bedding of the sectional.

Without warning, I kicked him off. I didn't mean to but the guilt kept me from going all the way there with him. Devari could see this clearly, his eyes squinting as though he was seeing straight through me.

"Why the hell did you do that?" He asked.

"It was getting intense..." I said. A devious smile spread across Devari's face. He flipped me onto my belly, going down on me from the rear. I screamed out, the sensations his tongue giving me being too intense to remain silent.

Eventually it all came to an end. Devari didn't go as far as I thought he would and it made me gracious. Sometimes, I wondered if he were psychic! He knew precisely what made me tick and wasn't afraid to exploit it. But he also knew my limit. He sat next to me, looking at me intently.

"You," He began, "Have a hard time separating the physical from the meaningful. It's common amongst Illisians that turn into the brothel but with you, it's intense! There were moments I could feel you almost letting go and letting your passion do it's job. While at other times, you were holding back..."

"How can you feel this?" I asked, mindblown at just how nuanced his senses were. That addictive dark smile spread across his face.

"I'm a sexual empath." He said plainly.

It then made perfect sense! His keen sensitivity to intimacy was because he had an empathetic talent for just sex alone. There was no denying it was an admirable trait.

"Wow..." I said.

"One of these days, you have to let yourself loose, let yourself be one with yourself! That is the discipline taught here, to be one with your sexuality and quite frankly, you're not doing so well! You are lovely! You have perfect everything but you don't care for pleasing others and secondly you're torn between shame and sexuality! You're going to have to pick one day soon..." Devari said.

It did nothing but make me upset. Everything he said was true! All I could do was nod. He got up, leaving. Soon I ended up back in my room. The only thing I could think about doing was taking another shower and having just a relaxing evening taking care of myself. It would be quite relaxing.

After the second shower, I lathered myself down in deep penetrating oils. Then I put on the finest satin robe. My hair was growing out, my jet black roots visible beneath the bleached top. I was starting to look Illisian again. This gave me some piece of mind. I began mixing oils for my hair, sitting the container in nearly boiling hot water.

While doing that, I began mixing oils for my hands and feet, also placing them in the boiling water. I was missing quite a few ingredients. Oils were nice but I needed something deeper penetrating, like lotion. Back home, my little sister would make the finest, sweetest lotions for us. However, in this brothel, I had to work with what I got.

One thing they did have that I loved were salt scrubs. These too were dropped into the scalding water. Next were the cold items. I had somehow managed to make a bromeliad and melon face mask from some food down in the lounge. The night was spent scrubbing and revitalizing areas of my body that needed it. It was always fun taking care of yourself.

"So, you do have to work for your beauty?" Someone said, startling me.

I turned, shocked to see the Wolf standing there.

"Yeah... It's fun taking care of yourself, you know..." I said, trimming my toenails with some sheers. He looked around at all the things I had on my vanity.

"This is a lot." He noted.

"I know." I chuckled, "And to be honest, it's still not enough..."

"What more possibly could you need?" The Wolf asked.

"Beeswax, vanilla oil, vinegar, detritus, egg, fish oil and banana just to name a few things." I shrugged.

"What all would you need that for?" He asked.

"Do you really want to know?" I responded.

"Sure." The Wolf said, taking a seat as I continued to groom my toes.

"The beeswax would be to help me make lotions. The vanilla oil, just for fragrance and scalp care. The vinegar is a good natural astringent for pores. The eggs are quite beneficial for skin masks and the fish oil is full of vitamins to consume..." I said.

"How precisely would you make lotion?" The Wolf asked shocked.

"You use beeswax as your base and mix in core minerals, essential oils and boil the fuck out of it" I shrugged.

"It's that simple?"

"It's literally that simple," I responded, "Why are you here, exactly?"

"I'm bored and you have one of the nicer rooms." The Wolf said plainly.

"Leave." I said.

"Really? Can we just relax in here?" He asked, "I'm not trying to do anything perverse, I just want to relax. You realize you actually need to make friends in here right?"

"Whatever..." I dismissed.

"You say that like you don't plan on being here for forever! I don't think you know how awesome you got it! You get free food, water, shelter, amenities, spoils and riches and not only that, but you're already the favorite of the boss and haven't even gotten your first job yet." The Wolf smiled.

"I mean..." I began, unsure what I was supposed to say to that. Truthfully I didn't care, "I kind of just want to be left alone and disappear into my own little world for the night. You're awesome but I like my alone time..."

"Alright..." The Wolf sighed sadly, getting to his feet, "Just let me know if you need anything."

I rolled my eyes as he left, hating the slight guilt he made me feel. Nonetheless, I continued on with my leisure filled night. In the back of my mind, the things The Wolf said to me lingered. He was right. Even if I wasn't planning on staying here long, I did need to make more friends. People did need to like me! Being the odd man out meant that if things hit the fan, I'd be the first one thrown to the wolves! This was a harsh but true reality.

As the night came in, I slept. The next day rolled in after some pretty restless sleep. I got up, getting ready for this day. The only thing I could think about was trying to improve my relationship with people in this place, but how? There was no relationship with people here. People would see me and almost panic, it seemed. Truly I wasn't that terrible of a person.

I sighed, leaving the room, heading down to breakfast. It went as normal, no one talking to me, just the isolated stare and constant ignoring. It was almost frustrating not being acknowledged but what could I expect? I did it to myself.

The day continued to drag on, even with the private training with Devari. It was almost an exact repeat of the way things went yesterday. It seemed to infuriate him as we lay across each other. He just stared, and stared.

"I know I'm terrible at sex..." I sighed, staring at the ceiling.

"You're not terrible, you just don't give a fuck! But you will... We can keep trying everyday until you get it right." He said. It made me look at him.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"You better learn how to fake it at least!" He said, getting up, "See you tomorrow."

All I could do was just roar out from frustration as I lay there. It left me to my thoughts. For this being our second session, it made me concerned as to why Devari and I hadn't had penetrative sex yet. Was he holding back in some strange way, this being some odd little game of his? Considering the thing Devari has had to do in the past, and his very devilish nature, it was truly hard to tell.

One thing that did change though, was the fact that his complaints didn't get to me any more. It was almost liberating, the feeling of not caring about being good at sex! The next day rolled in, and it was time for the third day of training. Devari and I went back at it. This day, I just sat stiff like a robot as he kissed and tongued me.

He paused, looking at me intently. His face grew so red.

"I can FUCKING punch you right now!" He said, very upset. All I could do was laugh, "You think this is funny?"

"It kind of is..." I said, looking at the pitiful boy. He just stared at me, fists clenched. Oddly, this was gratifying. He seemed so frustrated, at his wits end with me, at a loss for words.

His anger gave way to the most devious smile. My heart began to race as I knew his evil mind was devising a way to get back at me. He reached over pulling out a bottle of lube. My breath ceased as my heart sank to my stomach. For the first time since we did anything with each other, his member was solid like a rock.

This put a fear in my unlike anything I ever felt before. It was kind of like an excitement. Deep down, there was anticipation for this moment. Devari began to chuckle.

"I'm going to hate fuck you into oblivion!" He said plainly. All I could do was stare at the ceiling. Despite wanting this deep down, I felt icky, as if this was the ultimate betrayal to Richard.

Firm hands grabbed my left leg, pushing it up. A finger slid between my cheeks, causing me to draw up with sharp pain.

"Shit, you're like a clamp back here!" He noted, smiling in anticipation. He rested my leg across his shoulder as he poured lube into my ass. His finger began to slide in with far less pain and more ease. It almost felt good.

The whole time Devari eyed me like he was a demon of lust. It did something to me, moved me in ways I didn't know I could be moved. My cock lay across my belly, throbbing with urges as Devari continued to finger my hole. His eyes and mine seemed to lock on each other, blocking out all that was around.

Soon, he looked down, placing his cock at my entry point. He then slowly looked me in the face, letting me know the inevitable was about to happen. I didn't want to watch at this point. Slowly I closed my eyes, bracing for that oh so familiar ripping and spreading feeling. The head of Devari's shaft began to enter my walls. Inch by inch it crept forth. Soon, the intensity made me grab the blankets on the sectional! My eyes jolted open, as I gasped, realizing he still had more cock to plunge into my depths.

Soon, the only thing hanging out of me was his balls. He looked down at his work, wiggling around as if he was trying to make room in there. He seized up, his face wadding up tightly as he did it. He then slowly began to pump in and out. The intensity almost made me want to scream! Devari wasn't small by any means, and his dick was in deep!

"Fuck!" He said, leaning over top me.

He began to pump harder and harder. Within a few seconds, his body seized.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" He said, seemingly angry. He pulled out, white ooze dripping from his member. Slowly, he looked at me. My heart raced, the boy looking so angry. He shook his head, nostrils flared and teeth gritted.

"You are one tight ass motherfukcer!" He said, "Never has anyone made me cum this fast! And you still don't fucking understand how amazing this makes you!" He began to crawl back over onto me. He slid his member in me once again, "Like, you..." His face wadded up tightly as he stroked away, "Are... so... perfect..."

He pounded away until all I could feel was numbing bliss. He pressed my leg so tightly to my chest it caused friction as he pounded. He kissed my chest and neck, making his way up to my mouth. I didn't want to return these kisses. The euphoria wasn't greater than the guilt. My eyes opened, seeing Devari looking deep into them with so much concern and longing. He continued to pound me down for a quite a while. Soon, he dug his nails into the blankets, letting out a guttural groan. He fell on top of me, panting heavily. We both were covered in sweat.

Slowly, he crawled from on me, seeming to withdraw into himself.

"You know," He began, "I wish you enjoyed me as much as I enjoyed you."

"If I wasn't in love, maybe." I said. He looked at me with bitterness before sighing and getting to his feet. It honestly made me feel terrible. I was so torn between wanting to give myself to Devari and holding out for Richard.

It was tear inducing feeling this low. I grabbed a robe, heading out of the studio up to my room. As I did, a shadow passed over the windows in the upper warehouse. It was either Bazahra or Silver. This made me excited! I went to the roof, seeing it was Bazahra.

"Hey, girl." I asked. She ignored me, preening like she always did. I ruffled her feathers a bit before taking the letter out from her pouch. There was no hesitation with reading it:

'You...

I don't want there to be anything between us any more! I've been thinking and come to realize that everything that has happened to me happened after you came into my life... And those things are not good! You've started a chain reaction that ruined everything! Not only that, but there was trust between us and you went behind my back and slept with Mercury... That is a betrayal I just can't forgive!

Not only that, but you're living a low life that you've shamed before! How, hypocritical! You're being whored around and fucked senseless while I wait for you to return. Why must I put myself through that for someone like you? You're not this pristine and perfect individual. You are facetious, manipulative, just down right cunning. Well I caught on! You played me well enough, got my kingdom lost, my parents killed, and everything I ever cherished gone! This will be the last time I write you, the last time I support you, the last time you ever hear from me.

We. Are. Finished!

Richard Bourgion...'

The air was still, my breathe ceased! What the fuck did I just read? So many emotions began to flood me as I processed what the letter meant. I had to sit down. Standing was not the wisest idea at the moment! I had to reread the letter for to be sure this was what I was reading! Was this even Richard's handwriting? Surely it couldn't be! He could never think this way!

But it was his handwriting... This made me feel sick to my stomach. I felt like I betrayed him, this unrelenting shame forming a hazy aura around me. If I could, I'f rush back to him and make this right. However, the only thing I could do was write a response. I looked at Bazahra.

"I'll be back." I told her. She continued to preen as I made my way down the stairs.

Tears of desperation and frustration began to well up in my eyes, but not escaping. The shock held the tears in place. I sat down at my desk, finally a tear escaping as I leaned forward to grab pen and paper. It was time to write:

'Richard,

I don't understand where you are coming from here! When I left, we both agreed we wouldn't pursuit a relationship further yet your writing makes it seem like we are committed to each other. Don't get me wrong! I love you! Being here feels wrong and every awful day I spend here, I think of you!

You have to understand how horrible this place is! I'll never be able to wrap my head around it nor be comfortable here! I have to wake up extremely early every morning, be subjected to degrading rules and train for hours and hours a day. If I disobey an order I get beat and put in holding, my training prolonged! If I don't meet the standards of my training, which I've been struggling to do, I get more and more training. This is not easy. The only way I can get through this is to think that one day I'll get to see you again! But now...

I'm incredibly saddened by what happened to your family and kingdom! But you can't blame me for this! I was taken from my home thousands of miles away and you know this! I didn't ask to be here! I didn't ask to be taken away from my family! I didn't ask to be forced to be the animal trainer of your father! I didn't ask to discover what I discovered which led to this! It happened and there's nothing I can do about it! Do you see me pointing the finger at anyone? No! I refuse!

We have to cope with changes and make best of them. I can't be blamed for the death of your father or mother! I had nothing to do with it! Your father was on drugs long before I got here and was on a spiral downward. Your mother, truly a great woman and I'm saddened she's gone! But it was not my fault! Your kingdom? I understand you had the Ziggurat for about two weeks. I can't be blamed for you losing it either.

Again, I'm sorry all of this is happening to you but blaming me for it doesn't make an ounce of sense! You took a foreigner out of his habitat and forced him to exist in one strange to him! There was already shit going on long before I got here and you know it! I don't know what bug got into your ear but get it out, now! I love you Richard, love you more than you can understand! But I'm not the one to blame here...

Yours always,

Kijus'

This was so strange. Maybe he had gotten comfortable for those two weeks on the throne. I don't know, but this wasn't the same Richard writing me that I fell in love with. This was one who had changed and I wanted that old one back! I folded the letter, making my way up to Bazahra. She took the letter as I watched her fly off into the horizon with baited breathe.