Darla's Games Day 09

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Panthergirl
Panthergirl
1,324 Followers

"Mom. I'm fine. We're fine. Life is just a little hectic right now." I blurted out.

She was looking me in the eyes and I had to force myself not to look away at the floor.

"I think you should go live with your father for awhile." She said finally.

I stared at her open mouthed. "Mom. No, please. Julie is right down the street here. I don't want to live with Daddy. I want to live with you." I pleaded.

She exhaled deeply, considering what to do with me I was sure. "Okay, I will let you stay here for Julie, but you have to be a little more responsible. No more of these overnight parties where I don't see you all weekend. I want you to come home after practice instead of just before bed time. And I want to know where you are from now on."

I rolled my eyes. This was going to be problematic with Darla, I was sure of it. "Mommmm?" I pleaded, "I am trying to make new friends with the cheerleaders. It is really hard to get totally accepted with them. I need to socialize, at least for awhile."

Like for the next thirty-six days, I thought.

"I understand sweetie. I want you to have friends and have fun. I just feel like I am losing you." Mom replied.

She was going to cry. I knew it. I had to deal with it this time. I got up and went over to her and hugged her. "Mom, you are not losing me. I'm not going anywhere, well not until college." I laughed half-heartedly.

She hugged me tight and started crying. I just held her for about ten minutes and reassured her that everything was fine and she was a good mother. Finally, she calmed down and pulled away, kissed my forehead and swatted my butt. "Go see Julie." She smiled.

So, I smiled back at her and headed down the hall to the front door. The walk was too long and too short. I wasn't sure how Julie would accept my unannounced arrival. But she had been to my house and talked to my mom. She was worried about me. That was a good sign. I rang the doorbell and waited, changing my stance about twenty times. I couldn't believe I was uncomfortable and anxious about talking to my very best friend. I had never been before. I suddenly hated Darla more than ever. At least it felt that way. I'm not sure how many levels of hate there are in the world.

The door opened and Julie's mom smiled at me. "Carrie, so good to see you. Julie is upstairs, you want to go up?"

"Thanks." I smiled and headed past her and to Julie's room. I knocked on the closed door and called her name, "Jules?"

"Come in." She answered, I couldn't really tell her demeanor, but it wasn't like she sounded thrilled it was me. More like an expected intrusion.

I opened the door and there she lay on the bed, denim mini skirt, black tank top, writing in her diary. I closed the door behind me and looked at her for awhile. I was definitely staring for too long. I had to stop staring at her.

"Julie?" I asked softly to get her attention. She just kept writing, ignoring me.

"I'm sorry Julie." I began, I could feel the first burn of tears coming to my ducts. I stood there, looking at her, waiting for her to acknowledge my presence.

"Julie?" I called to her again. "Please talk to me."

I stepped closer. She refused to look at me and kept writing in her diary. She began talking, but she wasn't talking to me, she was reading or saying aloud what she was writing. "Today, my best friend completely blew me off again. She didn't answer my messages, she didn't tell me what she was doing. Her mom said she was hanging out with the cheerleaders, but somehow I wasn't invited. I wondered if she knew how much that hurt me..." She trailed off and stopped writing and started crying.

I tentatively walked over and sat on the bed next to her and laid my hand softly on her back, her shaking back, shaking with her sobs. "Julie..." I whispered, and I couldn't hold back any longer, I started to weep.

We stayed like that for some time. Just crying; no words spoken. My hand softly rubbed her back and finally she turned to look at me, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I thought we were best friends." She nearly yelled at me.

"We are." I whispered, sobbing.

"Then why Carrie?" She lashed out. "Why are you excluding me?"

If she only knew. I wasn't sure what I was going to tell her, but I couldn't stand losing her. So much had been stripped away from me. My life was falling into pieces around me, I couldn't lose Julie. But, what could I tell her?

"Jules..." I whimpered. "I..." The words caught in my throat. What was I going to tell her? "I'm a lesbian." I blurted out. I instantly regretted it. Her eyes flew open and she moved reflexively away from me as if I were some disease ridden homeless person that might somehow taint her.

She got off the bed on the side opposite me and stood staring at me, her mouth open. "What do you mean you're a lesbian?" She asked me and wiped her tears away, looking at me with fear in her eyes.

"I..." I stumbled for the right words. "I didn't know Julie. I like girls." I whispered.

"Get out!" She commanded. I started getting up, but instead of heading for the door, I started walking towards her. I wanted to hug her, to talk to her, to make her understand that everything was okay with us. She stepped back from me.

She looked at me with genuine fear in her eyes. "Get out of my house." Julie said. "NOW!" She yelled.

I broke down crying and fell to my knees. "Please Julie. This is so hard. I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you, but I didn't really know until this weekend."

"Carrie," Julie said in a steady but angry voice, "get out of my house now. You make me absolutely sick. Get out now or I am going to scream and have my mom throw you out."

I fell to the floor and cried hard, I realized my hands were nearly on her feet, begging her not to do this. "Please Julie." I sobbed.

"MOM!" She screamed.

I pushed myself up to my feet and looked at her through tear blurred eyes. "Julie...please." I wept openly, tears running down my cheeks and splashing onto the floor.

She stared at me and pointed at the door. "Get OUT!" She screamed at me.

I turned slowly and left. When I had closed the door, Julie's mom was coming up the stairs. I cried loudly and ran down the stairs past her and then rounded the corner and ran out the door and all the way home.

I ran into the door, bawling uncontrollably and passed my mom and ran all the way up the stairs and entered the sanctity of my bedroom where I closed the door and leapt on my bed and cried. It was a harsh cry. It was long and loud and my breath was gone soon and I was hyperventilating. I should have never told her. I should have kept it to myself. I should never have divulged this secret.

She looked at me like I was ... less than garbage. She was scared of me? I was diseased with lesbianism, I was a nightmare. It was horrible. I cried and cried for being such a disgusting thing. An hour later, I looked up at the clock and noticed I had cried for over an hour.

I sat up and sobbed some more, holding my head in my hands. Just about then, I heard the phone ring and I retrieved it from my book bag. I flipped it open and sobbed a "Hello?", not bothering to look at the caller identification.

"Carrie," It was Darla. "You okay?"

I cried. "No," I sobbed.

"Oh," Darla answered and there was a long gap of silence as if she were trying to think of what to say next.

"Never you mind then," She picked up again, "Get some rest tonight." The phone clicked and she was gone.

I threw myself back onto my bed again and cried myself to sleep.

I woke up around eight o'clock at night. I looked in the mirror. My face was a mess, all puffy and swollen, my eyes red from crying so much. I felt dehydrated and decided to go downstairs for a glass of water.

My mom was down there on the phone. She smiled sadly at me when I came down and excused herself from her conversation, telling whomever was on the other end that she had to go.

"You and Julie are still fighting I gather." She said softly.

I looked up at her and the tears came back instantly. I ran to my mom and buried my head into her shoulder and cried. "She hates me." I sobbed.

My mom just held me, patting my back and running her hand through my hair. "There now," She whispered, "I'm sure she doesn't hate you. Give it a day or two and the two of you will be best friends again."

I cried and shook. Julie had been so horrified at me. She hated me. It wasn't going to go away in a couple of days. My mom just held me and let me cry.

After perhaps another half hour of sobbing, I lifted my head and nearly whispered, "Thank you Mom."

She gave me a squeezing hug and replied, "I love you Carrie, you are a good kid. Why don't you get some rest?"

I kissed her cheek and went upstairs and hit the mattress and sobbed myself to sleep.

Panthergirl
Panthergirl
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16 Comments
DiaperboyMiDiaperboyMiover 3 years ago
Amazing

Another incredible chapter.

unicorn64unicorn64about 10 years ago

I'd say Darla probably ruined carries chances for college too. What a terrible thing to do to a girl just because you can.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
great

Oh this chapter was so sad can't believe Julie said what she said because after she slapped carrie when she didn't know who she was I think carrie should beat her up . I think carrie should phone the police on Darla and bevy and Courtney. Brilliantly written

lovercat2942lovercat2942almost 14 years ago
Additional thoughts on second read-through

On second reading of the story (before going on to Chapter 10), I thought of something else regarding Julie's knee-jerk. First of all, the first time through I missed Julie's protracted comment when she spanked Carrie with the paddle that day of the bathroom hijinks with Carrie in the gimp suit. This just supplements what I said before concerning Julie versus lesbianism. Also...one other thing I picked up on second reading was that Julie was in a bad mood, feeling abandoned (constantly "blown off") by Carrie, and right then Carrie hits her with the fact that she is a lesbian? I now can see more of the emotions behind the knee-jerk/overreaction. Just what Julie did NOT want to hear.

One loose end. What happened to that blue dress that Julie so thoughtfully gave Carrie for the party? Just another thing for Julie to feel hurt about.

I think Julie will eventually snap out of it although right now she is extremely disappointed and pissed and just doesn't want to see Carrie at this point. She has her strengths, but basically Julie is a sweet gal...with a TEMPER......

I am glad you continued the story after so long, Jessica. I look forward to more adventures with Carrie.

RedtoffeeRedtoffeeabout 14 years ago
Another superlative effort

Can one continue to improve time after time? Apparantly you can.

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