Daughter of Frigg Ch. 06-08

The Daughter of Frigg - Chapter 06 07 08

The Goddess Frigg

We spend four years in Florida before we moved and my indiscretions heaped upon themselves to such an extent that those that knew of my double life started calling me, Frigg after the Goddess. From what I have read the Goddess Frigg was a protector of marriage, and I have always tried to protect my marriage and loved ones even in the steps of betrayal I have so brazenly taken at times. Frigg was a Goddess of mother's and motherhood but it doesn't ever stipulate that those children had to be the husbands, and she was obviously fertile and very - very sexual as am I. But most likely, they just referred to me as Frigg because I was a mother with children in the next room while servicing them.

The only thing I did right was somehow not get an STD.

Ben never left me alone for those four years even when I begged that he stop, that Owen and I were finally trying for a child of our own in October of 2003. It didn't stop him and to be honest I don't know who the father is or didn't until recently. In March of 2004 we moved to Washington State where we still reside, and that July I gave birth to a healthy 6 pound baby girl we named Mical.

Since we had only ever thought we wanted was three children Owen and I started talking about whom of us should get fixed, Mical was five months old when in December I found out that I was pregnant again, this time definitely with Owen's child. In August of 2005 I gave birth to a healthy baby girl I named Laurel and a few months later had a tubule ligation effectively sterilizing myself at the age of 25.

As I start this Journal it's now February of 2012 now, London, my first child and daughter by Jamal will be 11 years old in May. My son, Harold, named after his father, is now 9 years old. Mical is now 6 and Laurel is 5.

After we left Montana Owen didn't speak to his mother again for 10 years. In the last three they made amends and we go and visit every few months. It was great, the last seven years I have finally been the wife Owen deserved all along. Last month the kids and Owen went to Montana while I was taking care of my mom who lives close by, and apparently Suzanne finally told him of just some of the things Harold had done what he was capable of and alleged that he had sexually molested his new wife's daughter as well as having possibly molested his sister.

Owen called right after his conversation with his mother, "Megan, do you remember when we lived dad in Rock Springs?"

"Yea," I answered nonchalantly, "what about it?"

"Do you remember that condom with all the holes poked in it?" Owen continued.

My throat seized and my heart physically ached as I answered, "Yea..."

"Honey, you didn't have sex with Dad, did you?" Owen asked timidly.

"NO! Of course not," I lied, "I wouldn't do that to you, especially after a prior history."

"Ok, well do you remember have any strange dreams or anything," Owen pressed.

"No not really, Honey what's going on why are you asking about that time now," I asked.

"Oh, I was talking to mom and she told me some stuff about their divorce and dad and what he is capable of and well, I wouldn't put it past him to rape you in your sleep is all," Owen explained, "and, we have our history as well so I had to ask is all. Also dad mostly had boys and I have had mostly girls, well the three that are mine."

I was surprised as my eyes suddenly welled up with tears and my heart ached so badly as I put my hand over my mouth and tried to cover my grief and whimpered, "Yea, but you did have one boy, so obviously you can have boys too."

"Yea it's just, I know how hard you slept in those days," Owen continued, "I once made love to you myself when you were on your side and you never woke. What I know about dad now, if he had wanted to he could have and you may have never known."

"Then why bother with a condom with holes," I asked shakily.

"I don't know that's what made me think that maybe you had slept with him," Owen explained, "and that possibly he had tried to get you pregnant without you knowing. Do you think that we should get a paternity test?"

"No," I snapped determinedly, trying not let the fact that ice chilled my veins and my heart was suddenly in my throat be heard in my voice, "I would rather not know if such a thing had happened. Besides what use would it be now, you are Harold's father or at least the only father he has ever known."

"Yea – I understand, I am not sure I would want to know either," Owen answered.

I suddenly started breathing again, unconscious that I had been holding it in, as my body began to shake uncontrollably while we talked some more about what the kids were up to and what I was up to and if they were having fun. When we finally finished I went to the guest bedroom and wept.

As it turned out Harold's appendix burst a few weeks after they got back, and they thought he may have bad kidneys too. The result was that the doctors tested the whole family for compatibility as donors.

Sitting in the room given for Harold a new doctor came in with tests results, "Well the test's show Mrs. Risman that even though compatible genetically as his mother you are not compatible because of you blood type, but Mr. Risman you however are the closest match genetically as his brother and your blood types are the same."

My heart caught in my throat, I felt like I was going to feint, as I rushed to the bathroom to puke.

"Say what," Owen asked incredulous.

"Um – that of Harold's mother – your sister-in-law and you, you are the best donor for Harold as his brother unless we can get your father to come in and let us do a test on him," the Doctor reiterated nervously, "Is there a problem?"

"Just a little," Owen answered very calmly, "Do you mind if we talk outside."

"Sure, yea," the Doctor agreed, wiping my face I raced to the door but didn't follow, I just listened.

"Do you still have samples of the girls DNA," Owen asked.

"Yea."

"Why weren't any of them compatible," Owen asked.

"Well Mr. Risman, they were all close having the same mother, but none of them have the same father which would be only part of the problem but their blood types don't match either."

"So how am I the best donor as the brother," Owen asked sharply.

"Well that's because we only test first for blood type and then we do the HLA test which matches antigens. We test six antigens crucial for transplants, as a child we inherit three of these antigens from each parent. All the child and Mrs. Risman had three matching antigens but different blood types. You also had two matching antigens with Harold and the same blood type."

"I think I understand," Owen continued, "So do you do paternity test's?"

"Yes."

"Good, I need you to do one for me," Owen, "You see that woman in there is not my sister-in-law she is my wife, and if what you say is correct – then Harold is my father's child, can you your tests be accurate enough to distinguish paternity between close relatives?"

"Yea sure, we can do awesome things with paternity tests now."

"Great, I want you to test all the children to see if I am their father," Owen said warmly, "Oh also I don't think the father will be available for testing for the transplant or paternity."

"That's not a problem."

Owen let the man go and came back in the room. I ran to my seat beside Harold and tried to look innocent.

Owen came over to the opposite side of the bed from me and rested his hand on Harold's head.

"So you knew, Harold was dad's son. Don't refute it you reaction was all the evidence needed," Owen proclaimed.

"No, you are his father," I answered shakily, "The best and only father he has ever known, no matter who got me pregnant."

"But you knew," Owen raised his voice to a harsh whisper, "You knew from the start that he was not my son. Why – why would you not tell me, even all these years later when I asked a few weeks ago?! No wait don't answer that I know the answer! I am such a fool, you where fucking him weren't you – the whole time in Rocksprings. The condom was him trying to get you pregnant because you were making him wear condoms!"

Slumping I wept quietly as I nodded my head in admission, there was nothing I could say to easy what I had done.

"Why would you do such a thing, you're sick," Owen spat, "You sicken me!"

My silent cries turned to heaving sobs as I looked up and tried to explain, "The night your brother forced me to have sex with him – when I left your father was their when I opened the garage door to leave and come back to the house. I tried to explain – I didn't want to have sex with Ben – I had only wanted you. That we had been having sex and Ben had caught us and blackmailed me into that situation. I begged for him not to condemn me – us – I begged that he not say anything about it. He said he wouldn't if I had sex with him too, so I did. When we moved back I didn't want to go back to Montana I wanted us to live in Oregon with my mother. I never told you because I thought that it would be the last straw in our fragile marriage after Jamal, and also I knew you would have your father just like you hate your brother now. When you decided that we should go back to Montana and then we had to move to Rock Springs – he knew I hadn't told of what he did to me because you would still talk to him, and I was afraid that confessing then would result in you leaving me still. So head blackmailed me again into having more sex with him."

Owen just stood there looking at me with a hard accusing stare.

After several minutes he asked, "Are any of them mine?"

Sputtering drool and tears into my lap I answered for the first time truthfully, "Laurel is yours, she the only one I know for sure. Mical may be I don't know, and London is Jamal's."

"I should have gotten the paternity test then with London," Owen spat, "The only reason I didn't was because..."

He didn't finish his sentence.

"Why is it you don't know if Mical is mine," Owen asked instead.

"Because when we moved back to Florida your father told Ben about himself and me," I whined my body shaking, my muscles twitching as I gripped my sons hand for support, "and when you started working for the cable company he came over and said he would tell you all about it if I didn't do everything he wanted me to do."

"So Mical is either his or my child," Owen asked sharply.

"She looks so much like you two, I think so, but it could be any of his friends as well."

"Shit just how many people were you screwing," Owen shrieked hysterically now.

"You don't want to know," I whimpered softly.

"How many and for how long," Owen screamed.

I wept openly my face a mess as I looked up at him through my long curly locks off chocolate hair I had grown out for him nearly waist length half of it I swear in my mouth mixed with tears and snot as I wailed, "Four years, almost all four years we were there Ben started before I had even given birth to Harold and it never stopped the entire time."

"How many," Owen screamed again tears of pain streaming down his face.

"I don't know," I wailed back, before continuing in a whisper, "maybe fifty different people, many were repetitive, it could me more or less I don't know."

Owen didn't say anything he just lowered his head to the bed and silently shook with his grief; the shakes had left me now – all I felt was numb. It was too much – I knew it, and I knew what would happen next.

"I have loved you all this time," Owen finally whispered after some time, "but I hate you now!"

It turned out that Harold didn't need any transplant which was good, but the damage to the family was unrecoverable. The paternity tests came back confirming that London was not Owen's, neither was Harold or Mical. Both were close matches meaning he was related to the fathers of the children. Laurel was the only child that was his.

We didn't discuss it with the children; all they knew was that within the week Owen served me divorce papers.

We had spent the last eight years living by the skin of our teeth moving from apartment to apartment on Owen's single income or mine. We had never worked simultaneously to save money on daycare and a belief that we should raise our kids not the daycare system. It came as a shock to Owen when we split my secret account of almost half a million dollars I had earned secretly prostituting to the four young men that had raped me and their friends those four years.

With the money now openly available Owen wanting to stay close to the kids stayed in Washington State but moved out of town onto 20 acres, to his disgruntlement I moved out very close to him.

With adjacent properties the kids could see him as much as the wanted.

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Finding Happiness

The divorce and everything to do with it as well as buying my property with a nice home on it took roughly eight months. During that time my work needed me to go to Atlanta Georgia to train for a new position.

I don't know why but I decided to Google search Michelle and Kathrin and I found them. I'm not sure what I was expecting but I was too scared to call them so I drove to their home to see them in person. They didn't live were they had been all those years ago, rather it was a nice large older home in the suburbs of Smyrna.

I knocked on the rustic red door to the otherwise taupe and brown brick home I waited for several minutes before I knocked again.

Disheartened I turned to leaves when a dark grey dodge caravan pulled into the driveway. I hesitated letting the van pull up before I started to retrace my step back down the drive to my rental car. As I walked closer to the van the sliding doors opened and three young girls and a boy hopped out of the van. Two of the girls were as dark as black porcelain, identical twins with green-grey hazel eyes. The other boy and girl have perfect mocha skin, the boy had green-brown hazel eyes and black wavy hair, and the girl had green-grey hazel eyes and curly golden-blond hair. All four looked to be about 10, between London's and Harold's ages.

An older woman heavier set with wide hip a thick middle and a generous bosom got out of the driver side and skirted the van as the children approached and past me with a "Hello!" then went inside their home.

"Hello there," the older woman greeted, "Can I help you?"

Turning from watching the children go inside I looked the women up and down and noticed that her eyes where a remarkable green-brown hazel.

"I'm sorry I must have the wrong house," I apologized, "My name is Owen, Owen Risman, and I thought this was the home of Kathrin and Michelle Jamisen. I'm sorry have a good day."

I started to leave, convinced that I must have had the wrong house.

"Wait son," the older lady called and took my right hand before I could take another step, "This is Kathrin and Michelle's home. You have the right place. My name it Henrietta I am their mother, would you like to come in and have some tea?"

"I would very much," I answered warmly.

"Okay, just follow me, and I will get us some tea and those kids situated and you will tell me what brings you by to visit," Henrietta stated as she walked past me leading the way.

As I turned to go in a timid figure opened the passenger door of the van and got out, catching my attention I turned back to see Kathrin. She stood there her hair still so long it reached the bottom of her buttocks while pulled up in a ponytail. Her breast were even larger now than when I met her, at least G-cups or H-cups, her waist was maybe 25" or so now, and her hips and ghetto booty looked to be the same 43" of course I couldn't be sure without actually getting a measuring tape, and honestly I didn't care. Her hazel eyes never left mine as I turned to face her. Her face was a study of conflicting emotions as shock and sadness and elation all played for control, as I slowly started to walk back to her. My heart felt like it would beat its way out of my chest or seize all together. I was 24 when I had met her and Michelle, and loved them both. I am now 37 so much time had passed, 13 years. Each step felt quicker as we closed on each other until we were in each other's arms both of us shaking with emotion.

"I knew you would come back," Kathrin softly whispered into my shoulder, as she tried to squeeze the life out of me.

"I am a fool – I should have never left," I cried into her hair.

We stood there for a long time, a long – long time, Henrietta having gone inside, and wept and hugged and kissed.

"I'm so sorry," I kept repeating, while Kathrin responded, "It's alright," with a girlish giggle and a tightening of her hug.

When the kids came out and started staring at us we broke our embrace though Kathrin wouldn't release my hand nor I hers.

"Owen this is, Jonah, my son," Kathrin pointed the boy, "and Mikayla my daughter. They are twins though they have different birth days. Jonah was born at 11:30 pm February 4, 2002, and Mikayla was at 12:13 am February 5, 2002."

"Hello there," I greeted warmly with a shake of the hand and a hug for each of them knowing instinctively they were my children.

"This is L'oréal, Michelle's daughter," Kathrin introduced, "She is the oldest by five minutes."

L'oréal was identical to sister the only difference I could see right off was that she wore her hair the longest, all the way to bottom of her buttocks just as her mother had when I had seen her last.

"And this is Heather Brianna," Kathrin presented, "both were born Febuary 4th as well."

"Kids this is Owen," Kathrin finished.

"Mom why are you holding his hand," Jonah asked inquisitively, "Is he your boyfriend?"

Kathrin and I looked at each other for a moment summing each other's feelings.

"If he wants to be," Kathrin said hopefully.

"Yes," I declared plainly before starting to lead Kathrin into her own home, then had a wicked idea, "Kids, tell me has your mom had a lot of boyfriends?"

A shocked "Uh" came from Kathrin while Jonah was the first to answer, "Nope."

"Never," said Mikayla.

"Nope," agreed L'oréal simultaneously, while Heather Brianna gave the most shocking answer, "No, and mommy either, they just tell us about our dad, and say they are waiting for him to come back."

My heart both warmed and hurt for how long it took me to come back, at how much I had missed of this kids – my children's – youth from infancy I had missed. They turned and went in while Kathrin and I hung back.

"You never dated after me," I asked incredulous.

"No," Kathrin answered directly.

"Why did you lie to me, had I known I would have come back," I asked in a whisper.

"Because we never gave you the chance to deal with Megan on your own, and you are married," Kathrin explained.

"Was married," I corrected.

Then Kathrin continued with a reassured smile and a squeeze to my hand, "We eliminated ourselves from the equation and hoped you would choose us, though Michelle knew that you would take responsibility for London even if she was not your child."

"I wish I hadn't," I confessed, "I wish I had come right back here to you both. I have wasted so much time when I could have been here with you all."

As we entered the house Henrietta met us in the living room.

"So, Kathrin is he the one," She asked bluntly.
Kathrin just smiled broadly and nodded.

"Girl you know you better call your sister," Henrietta chided, then looked at me, "Boy where in God's green earth have you been?"

"I was lost Ma'am, but now I am found," I answered smoothly.

Kathrin called Michelle and told her that she needed to come home but didn't tell her why.

Michelle couldn't get off work early so we all waited impatiently.

Kathrin sat hip-to-hip to me on her mother's couch and held my hand the whole time and never let go, and would for no obvious reason other than to reassure herself that I was indeed there, squeeze my hand; when the children asked about it she would just say that she would explain when Michelle got home.