Dave and Alicia Ch. 01

Dave had been looking forward to this game for weeks. He knew Alicia had, too. Their love of football was one of the many things they had in common. Until this season, they'd spent many a Sunday afternoon camped out on the sofa in the living room, watching whatever game happened to be on; it never mattered how bad the teams were. Their parents always retreated upstairs to the den when a game came on. The elder Parkers didn't care much for football, but they loved that their children spent time together, so they gave them their space.

The siblings settled on the sofa and watched the opening kickoff. Dave tried to relax, and actually did for a while. But each time Alicia moved, her scent, a unique smell of coconut and lime, wafted over him. He knew she didn't wear perfume, so it must have been the lotion she used. There was a green tube of it in the upstairs bathroom. He liked its scent; it reminded him of summer.

Unlike his sister, Stephanie wore perfume. A kind of heavy musk that sometimes made his eyes water. He frowned, realizing he was comparing his girlfriend to his sister, once again. It was an unfair comparison. Stephanie was hot; she had a gorgeous, voluptuous body that Dave thoroughly enjoyed, but somehow his girlfriend always came up short when compared to Alicia.

Alicia sensed his unease, and it was starting to upset her. She was about to say something to him when their mother came in and asked for Alicia's help in the kitchen. Dave visibly relaxed as she rose and left the living room. Alicia felt like crying.

Their mom and dad kept up a steady stream of conversation all through dinner. If they sensed something was amiss between their children, they didn't let on. Thom Parker talked to his son about his job, quizzed his daughter about school, and raved to his wife about the wonderful meal she had prepared.

Alicia barely ate. How could she, when throughout the entire meal she felt like vomiting? Her brother wouldn't even look at her, and when their fingers touched over the bowl of stuffing, Dave looked completely appalled. She just wanted to go up to her room, climb into bed, and never come back out.

The siblings did the dishes after the meal, as was expected of them. Usually there was much joking and laughing between them, but this time the washing and drying was done in an uncomfortable silence. Alicia fought back the tears, for the most part, but couldn't stop a few strays from leaking out of the corners of her eyes. Dave saw them, and he knew he was the reason. He felt like such a shit. He knew he was hurting her, but he didn't know what to do about it. He didn't even know what to do about his own feelings. He did try, though.

"Alli, what--" he began.

"Don't talk to me," she snapped. She was done, just so done with him. She didn't want to look at his handsome face, didn't want to hear his deep voice. She turned her back on him and reached to put away a water goblet.

Dave refused to be ignored, never mind the fact that he'd been the one doing the ignoring the whole evening. Grabbing her arm, he spun her around. Unfortunately, he grabbed the one clutching the water goblet. It crashed to the floor and shattered into a million pieces.

Alicia stood there, staring at the broken remains of the glass. Dave stood there, staring at her, while keeping her arm firmly in his grasp. To his utter horror, she burst into tears. With a hard yank, she pulled away from his grip and fled to her bedroom.

Muttering a string of ear-burning curses, Dave bent to the task of cleaning up the broken glass. He cut his hand twice in the process, but managed to do a decent job of picking it up. The broom and dustpan made quick work of the tiniest shards.

His dad came down just as he was sweeping up the last of it. "What happened to your sister, son? She's up in her room crying her eyes out. I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen. I figured you'd have a pretty good idea of what's going on."

Oh, I have a great idea, Dad, Dave thought. I imagined I was fucking my own sister last night, Dad. How about that? Dave knew he was her problem, but he didn't know what to do about it, so he denied knowing anything. Thom didn't look like he believed his son for a second, but didn't call him on it.

"I should go, Dad. Stephanie's coming over tonight; I told her I'd meet her at eight." It was only seven-fifteen but Dave wanted to get the hell away.

"Don't leave without saying goodbye to your mother. And for God's sake, say goodbye to Alicia. I think she's feeling shut out of your life right now. You spend so much time with Stephanie."

"I know, Dad. I'm just...I've got some stuff going on right now, and I'm trying to work through it, OK?"

"Anything I can help with, son?" His dad's brown eyes narrowed with concern.

"No thanks, Dad. I have to work this one out myself. I'm going to go say bye to Mom and Alli now."

Dave took the steps two at a time, not a problem with legs as long as his. He found his mother in the den by the fireplace reading what looked like some huge epic novel. "Hey Mom, I'm heading home. Thanks for dinner."

Blaire looked up from her book and smiled at her son. She removed her reading glasses and leaned forward to get her goodbye kiss. "You're welcome. Thanks for coming. You should come more often."

The quiet reprimand. It annoyed Dave, but he wouldn't dream of saying anything. He smiled at his mom and said goodbye.

"Look in on Alicia, please, David. She was crying a little while ago."

"Yeah, Dad mentioned that," he mumbled. Leaving the den, Dave turned left. Heading down the long hallway, he passed his old bedroom, the bathroom, the linen closet, and yet another bedroom. At the end of the hall, he reached Alicia's room. The door was shut tight.

Dave listened through the door. He didn't hear anything, so at least she wasn't crying any longer. He softly rapped on the door, but there was no answer. He considered leaving without seeing her, but he knew he couldn't do that. As confused as his feelings were, he still wanted to say goodbye. What could it hurt?

The door swung open at the briefest turn of the knob. The dim light filtering in from the waning full moon made navigating the confines of Alicia's room simple enough.

Dave saw her curled up on her bed; he couldn't tell if she was awake or not. "Alli?" he whispered. "Alligator?" He approached the bed.

He saw that she was fast asleep. She was lying on her side facing him and when he looked closer, he could still make out the wetness on her cheeks. It looked like she had been crying in her sleep. He sat down on the edge of her bed with a little sigh.

She clutched a teddy bear in her arms. He felt a tug at his heart, when he realized it was the bear he had given her for Christmas, when she was only five. She loved that bear so much. For years she dragged it everywhere she went. The bear showed its age and all of the love it had received.

Dave noticed Alicia had changed her clothes. She was wearing her yellow and blue University of Michigan pajamas, U of M being their father's alma mater. She snuffled in her sleep, and then let out a sneeze.

The French braid was still in her hair, but barely, most of the hair having long since fallen out of its restraint. Dave reached over and gently pulled out the hair tie. He ran his fingers through the silky length of blond tresses, enjoying the way the hairs felt as they slipped though his fingers with ease.

"Sorry I've been such a shithead, Alligator," he whispered. "I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I hope I can make it up to you, someday." Actually, he knew what was wrong; he just couldn't admit it.

Alicia let out another sneeze and shifted a little. Dave sighed again and stood up. He pulled the covers up over her torso to her shoulders. As tall as she was, she looked so little curled up in bed that way. Maybe it was the way her long legs were tucked up close to her, or maybe it was just him trying to picture her as she was years ago, before she grew up and became so beautiful. It was wishful dreaming on his part, to try to imagine her as anything other than what she was. Denying his feelings was fast becoming impossible.

Dave bent and kissed Alicia's cheek. The salty taste of her tears lingered on his lips. He straightened, gave her shoulder a slight squeeze, and then left for home and Stephanie.

Monday morning came too soon for Alicia. She would have been happy never facing the world again. Nevertheless, she got up, showered and left for class as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Moving through the day in an almost dreamlike state, she aced her calculus test, as usual, before leaving for home. She felt a little better. She still wanted to kill her brother, for the way he'd been acting. Girlfriend or not, it wasn't fair of him to ignore her.

Her mother met her at the front door. Blaire hadn't forgotten how upset her daughter had been the night before, and she wanted an explanation.

"Oh, Mom, I don't want to talk about it right now, OK?" Alicia protested when Blaire began her prodding.

"Did David say anything to you? He's been acting strange lately, too."

"Believe me; I've noticed. I don't know what his deal is, Mom, honestly." Alicia was more than thrilled to shift the focus of the inquisition to her brother.

"He's been spending so much time with his girlfriend; we never see him," her mother ventured.

Alicia shrugged. "I think she's practically living with him."

Blaire shook her head. "Well, hopefully she doesn't end up pregnant."

The thought of her brother in bed with Stephanie made Alicia want to vomit.

The guts of the pumpkin plopped on the newspaper with a splat. Brett reached in and withdrew another slippery handful. "So what's it going to be this year, happy or scary?" he asked Elizabeth.

They were at the dining room table carving their pumpkin the night before Halloween. The weather was still beautiful, and there was a pleasant breeze drifting though the open kitchen windows. The unmistakable scent of fall was in the air; a hint of smoke from someone burning leaves.

"Do both, you know, like you always do; one side happy, the other side scary." Elizabeth came over to stand at his side, holding the now almost five-month-old Samantha.

As far back as Elizabeth could remember Brett had carved their pumpkin, probably even before he should have been wielding a knife. Their happy-scary pumpkin had become a tradition, though Brett never failed to ask his sister how she wanted it carved.

"Happy-scary it is, then," he agreed and went back to cleaning out the guts.

The conversation at Dave's house was not nearly as pleasant. Alicia had gone to her brother's to have it out with him, tired as she was of the cold shoulder treatment.

He was home alone, fortunately. Alicia had been worried Stephanie might be there. Dave greeted her at the door, and before he could mask it, Alicia was certain she saw a flash of something in his eyes. Affection, love, understanding, everything he used to feel for her was there, and something else.

"Hey Alicia." His heart gave a leap even as he prepared to lie to her.

"Hi yourself." She turned to face him.

"I'm uh, just getting ready to leave, Alli. Sorry."

"Bullshit." She stood her ground, hands fisted at her hips.

Dave thought he misheard her. "What?"

"I said bullshit. You're not going anywhere, and if you were, you're not now. We're going to have a little talk David, whether you want to or not."

"I don't think we've got anything to talk about, do we?"

"The hell we don't! You've been treating me like dogshit for the last month or so, and quite honestly, I'm sick of it!" A toss of her head sent her long blond ponytail over the other shoulder.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered, trying not to notice how her words affected him.

"Goddamnit, quit it! Just quit! What's wrong with you that's got you treating me like I'm some kind of pariah? Is it Stephanie?" Alicia was nearly shouting now. The siblings had rarely fought growing up, but when they did, it was quite the row.

"Stephanie? What's she got to do with anything?" His little sister had him on defense, and he didn't like it.

Alicia's brown eyes flashed. "I don't know, David. You tell me. Does she hate me? Does she hate me spending time with you? What? I just want to know what happened to my big brother. I happen to miss him."

"Nothing's happened! I'm right here!" He spread his arms wide. Alicia wanted nothing more than to run to him, but at this point, she didn't dare. She was so afraid of his rejection.

His continued denial infuriated Alicia. "No, you're not here!" she insisted. "What happened to the guy I could depend on? The one that loved me, cared about me? Where did he go? What did you do with him?" she asked, her voice trailing off to a mere whisper.

Her words cut him to the quick. He knew she was right; everything she had said was the truth. She had every right in the world to be angry with him. He wanted to grab her, pull her close and never let go. He wanted to be everything she wanted him to be. Only he couldn't be everything to her that he wanted to be.

Dave wanted to tell her how much she meant to him. He wanted to tell her how often he thought of her, desired her. When he made love to Stephanie, he imagined he was making love to her. It had happened again the previous night. He wanted to tell Alicia all of it, but the words weren't there, they wouldn't form on his tongue. His frustration continued to mount.

Alicia was yelling at him again, saying something about how much she missed their closeness. He looked at her, trying to sort through what she was saying, but she was so worked up that she wasn't making any sense. Suddenly, it was all too much, the months spent denying his feelings, Stephanie harping on him about Alicia. With a quick grab, Alicia was in his arms, and he was kissing her. All the passion, frustration, and denial poured out of him into that single kiss.

Dave's hands roamed her body; they went under her shirt and bra, to cup a soft, pliant breast. They felt beautiful; he was sure they looked beautiful. His other hand was at the small of her back, pressing her lower half intimately to his. His penis grew hard; he was certain Alicia could feel it.

She could feel it, but that wasn't enough. She wanted to see and touch it. Her hand maneuvered between their bodies, and she began to pull at the button of his jeans. It gave way without too much trouble. She tugged the zipper down.

Dave felt the button pop. Reality slapped him in the face, when he realized where they were heading. He couldn't do it. There was just no way, no matter how much he loved Alicia, that he could go there. He grabbed her hand, just as her feather-soft fingertips grazed the head of his penis. It nearly killed him, but he pushed her hand away.

"Alli, don't...we can't." He pulled her to him and rested his chin on the top of her head. It fit there perfectly.

"I--I don't understand. You were touching me; I thought you wanted to..." she trailed off, more uncertain of herself than she'd ever been.

"Oh god, Alli," Dave groaned. "You have no idea how much I want to." He moved away slightly but kept his arms around her. He gazed down into her big doe eyes. "You have no idea how much I love you. I don't want to...the last few months have been awful, but we just can't. I just...you have to go, Alli. Please, just go." He released her.

"David, tell me why. Make me understand!" She would have begged him, if she thought it would have helped. She reached up and grabbed his shoulders, but he gently pulled away. "Goddamnit David! Don't do this to me! If you love me, don't do this to me!"

"Get out, Alicia. Please. Don't do this to us. Don't ruin what we have." Even as he said the words, he felt his guts churning.

Alicia backed away, an incredulous look on her face. "Don't ruin what we have? You already ruined what we had." She continued to back towards the door. Her hand touched the knob; she turned it, and was gone.

To be continued...