Dave and Wal Show

"Yes mate. I was trying to build up courage to ask."

They laughed.

Biddie said, "Oh hi Dave. You've never called me before. I'm not going back to Wal."

"Good, I believe that's a mature decision."

"What?"

"Yeah I didn't want Wal to be caught in breaking up your marriage."

"Oh I see. I thought you were calling to be sympathetic to me?"

"No you and I never have been particularly friendly."

"Well you are rather uncouth."

Dave said through his teeth, "Do you have a daughter aged eighteen?"

"Yes my youngest Morgan. Why?"

"Apparently she knows about you and Wal breaking up. She wants Wal to date her."

Dave paused and heard a big draw-in of breath and then what appeared to be the sound of grinding teeth.

"I suppose that's okay. She's a little bitch and is going to turn out exactly like me."

"A lovely but over-sexed woman."

"God Dave, you can be really lovely when you try. Thanks for sounding me out. Tell Wal I'm confident he'll treat Morgan kindly."

"You're tough, a great decision-maker and yet you remain very feminine Biddie. I like it."

"Goodnight Dave. I could come to like you."

* * *

Jazz held Dave tightly during most of the flight and clearly was in a mind to join the Mile High Club but Dave proved to be the sensible one. Being Saturday and with people heading south to watch big sporting fixtures live or perhaps being tourists or couples embarking on a dirty weekend, the fight was full and of course people around them were not sleeping.

They stayed in a big corner room in the Crown Plaza with the Yarra River and a big slice of the commercial heart of the city in view including Melbourne's main railway station on their left.

"Oh you lovely, lovely man. You are so amazing bringing me here," Jazz said, holding up her arms to be undressed.

She lay on the bed, legs apart and wearing only black fine denier black stay-up stockings and watched what Dave was holding in his hand, her eyes widening.

Dave leaped at her. She yelled in excitement and he had his tongue into her with incredible speed and with both hands under her butt lifted her to the right level so he could gaze at her while working his tongue

Jazz's excitement built and she stretched up a nipple, pulling some of the breast mass up as well.

She noticed that appeared to make Dave's blue eyes glaze.

Watching him carefully she lifted her head acutely and took that breast into her mouth.

Dave rammed a dry finger into her butt. Fortunately the anus had captured some of the moisture running from her pussy. She screamed and came over his mouth. He moved with the convulsions of her groin and didn't miss a beat.

"She moaned and said, "Put that big cock into me and ram me. But she was ignored. He remained where he was, licking and sucking and waggling his tongue. She sighed happily, thinking it would be sometime before they could go walking like lovers while he waited for her to dive into the next shop that appealed to her.

Dave pulled his mouth away to say, "You're a really hot bitch."

"You watch you mouth with me buster and leave my butt alone."

Dave pushed his tongue in even deeper and Jazz jumped when she felt another finger pushing to get up her butt. She smiled contentedly as if knowing this guy had all the right moves and liked being in charge.

* * *

A year later, only a fortnight after the marriage between Biddie's daughter Morgan and TV celebrity Wal Slater, intense negotiations began involving executives of two TV channels that led to Sydney's biggest TV channel, with an Australia-wide network, buying the rights to the 'Dave and Wal's Cooking Show for Dudes', with agreement in the contract that the name would be shortened to 'Dave and Wal' but retaining the cooking send-up theme.

Dave and Wal of course went with the show to it's new home, and both were happy about that. Their new executive producer is a little guy of immense talent called Francis Weld and he lives with an acclaimed artist called Basil Shield.

Dave and Jazz live together and have a new daughter but they remain unmarried. Jazz has become a partner in her law firm and sometimes her unmarried sister Sandy sleeps with them.

The script for each show continues to be written by Dave and Wal because Dave's imagination appears limitless and their new director of programming acknowledges he has no scriptwriters at his disposal who could write so uncouthly as Dave who has yet to have an official complaint against the show upheld by the authorities.

The new producers of the show announced it would screen on Thursday evenings but within 24-hours there was such huge protest throughout Sydney that the show was rescheduled back to 7:00 on Tuesday evenings. The channel executives conceded although paying huge money to obtain the Dave and Wal show they hadn't realized it had grown into such a solid institution.

Thousands of complainants stated they never left the house or welcomed visitors on Tuesday nights at 7:00 and would only answer the phone during the two 'urination' breaks. Advertisers who took ads during those breaks on the Dave and Wal Show are now commonly known in the ad department as urination advertisers. It is virtually impossible for new advertisers to get an ad placement on that show.

Right now Dave and Wal are working on the script for the next show, the theme being cooking for babies. They are currently arguing with management and their legal advisers about having young mothers who work in brothels sitting in the front row of the studio audience feeding their babies.

Females in the legal team also oppose filming the first skit about cooking shredded roast duck to feed it liquidized to mothers to improve nourishment to new-born babies and another skit where Dave an Wal convince the executive chef at Sydney's most exclusive restaurant to open a babies' bar where diluted alcohol will be offered in an array of differing colored feeding cups, the venison will be served to them only as gravy and a nappy exchange service will operate.

"Look guys," Dave said to the steely eyed lawyers and nervous studio executives, you guys are too close to reality. Comedy isn't reality. You need to understand the difference and I know you guys being lawyers will find that very difficult.

The chief executive called catering to order dinner to be served in the boardroom for thirteen and to standby for a supper order. He had the feeling they were heading for a very long and very unfunny evening.

THE END