Dawn Awakening

Maybe, it was seeing Janine pant after Patrick and him turn her away time and time again only to draw her back in and hurt her over and over. It was a sick, sadistic game he played with her. And it was all because he hadn't learned to deal with himself. It had nothing to do with her. Except for the fact that she kept coming back for more. And why? Because she loved him. She saw something in him that he couldn't see in himself. She had faith in him when he'd done nothing to earn it. John Mark couldn't do that to Robbie. He wouldn't use his own bullshit as an excuse to keep them apart.

Maybe, it was watching Lucien and Alex, so in love and so in danger that made up his mind. Alex was human. Something he didn't have to worry about with Robbie anymore. But, Lucien was a warrior. And there'd been some close calls. Lucien worried about losing her, whether to time, to her humanity, or to something unforeseen. He should be worried about what losing him would do to her. The life of a warrior was not guaranteed. Nobody's was. But, it was even more so for a warrior. Robbie could lose him to battle and he wouldn't risk taking her down with him, if or when his time came and she was left behind. Breaking the link between them, once it was solidly in place, as solid as Lucien's and Alex's was, could kill her.

"You can go home now. You have plenty of donors to choose from. If any problems come up, Lucian can help you. You have a life to get back to and so do I. You don't need me anymore." John Mark turned, pulling away from her grasp.

Her mind surged as she absorbed what he was saying. He felt that caring for her was a duty, a job. Now, he was released from his responsibility to her. And he seemed almost glad for it. He was abandoning her to fend for herself. She fought back a wave of tears. Her voice, when she finally spoke, was shrill and shaky. "Fine. I thought... Oh well, it doesn't matter anyway does it?" She turned away unable to look at him and see the hardness in the line of his jaw, darting into the cover of pines and spruce.

"Damn," he muttered under his breath. He felt her heart ripping in two as he watched her run from him. The sun was in full rise now, warming his skin. Its light bore into his retinas like a laser. This wasn't right either, him hurting Robbie and her running away. He was trying not to hurt her. After all they'd gone through. He'd moved heaven and earth to coax her to him. And he was giving it up, because he was afraid of the uncertainty of their future. Idiot. He was a warrior, and warriors faced things head on. Challenged their fears. They didn't run from anything. And he wouldn't run from her. He'd made this mess and he'd have to fix it.

Robbie stumbled blindly in the woods. The sunshine filtered through the canopy of trees. The light and the array of colors it reflected disoriented her and she became lost so close to home. Her hands skimmed clumsily over rough bark. The pain in her eyes was searing as the sun rose higher on the horizon. Her mind was a panic of confusion. She tripped, falling down into the dense overgrowth. Right now, she wanted nothing more than the comfort and safety of her bed.

If she were human, navigating the woods would be an easy task in the warm light of the sun. It was the dark she'd had to fear. Now, it was the light that terrified her. Trembling, she sank to the ground and rested her head in the sheltering darkness of her crossed arms desperate for solace and relief from the throbbing of her eyes. She would have to wait until dark. She cursed John Mark for every tear that rolled down her cheek.

John Mark sensed Robbie's confusion and despair. He used his link, opening his mind in hopes that she'd realize he was coming to help. He found her easily, huddled in a ball sheltering her eyes against the blinding sunlight. He cursed under his breath, ashamed for treating her the way he had. "I'm sorry, Robbie."

"Go to Hell." She spat back at him. Her voice was muffled through folded arms. But, she didn't dare lift her head from the sheltering blackness. "Get lost, your duty to me is fulfilled. I don't need you and you don't want me." Robbie placed particular emphasis on the word duty as she spoke.

"Don't want you? I've always wanted you. I thought you wanted to go back to your old life. I was trying to make it easy for you. Giving you an out. Robbie, things can happen to us. We can die. We can be killed. Forever isn't always as long as it seems. Do you know what it would do to me if something happened to me and I left you behind?"

"Oh, so this is all about me. Sorry I missed that point. I did want you. Now, I don't. So, why don't you get lost and then you won't have to worry about me. I'll be fine." She resisted the urge to cry. There was no way she'd let him see her cry. His mind was open to her now. But, his thoughts were a jumbled up mess. She couldn't make sense of them. How could things be so difficult between them when they could read each other so easily?

John Mark positioned his arms around her, tightening them to lift her into the shelter of his chest. "Put me down you jackass." Robbie struggled against his hold, fighting against the comfort she felt in his arms. She lifted her head, crying in agony against the onslaught of the suns rays. "I'd beat you senseless if you had any sense left to beat out of your head." Begrudgingly, she buried her face in the protection of his broad pectorals and squeezed her eyes shut against the light.

John Mark chuckled and carried her through the underbrush. "I'll let you land the first punch, free of charge." He felt the wash of her relief flow through her in waves. Holding her close like this created an overflow of need and desire that stirred within him. The sensations he felt were there long before they shared blood. The stirring in his heart could only be one thing, love. He had been a fool to try to deny it or to hold it at bay.

Once he sat her feet on the floor of the cabin, relief was replaced by rage. Robbie was utterly mortified that he had come to her rescue once again. Her temper flared. Didn't he just dump her? Didn't he just finish telling her that he had a life to get back to? Wasn't he so worried that he'd die and leave her behind that he'd given her the boot? So what? Everybody died. No one knew when their number was up. Did vampires think that somehow they were exempt from the Grim Reaper? The resounding crash of her slap as it connected with his cheek reverberated off the cabin walls. "That one was for rescuing me," she said venom in her voice.

Surprise spread across his face as she landed another slap. That one, she claimed, was for dumping her for such a stupid reason. "Oh no you didn't," John Mark cried out, his own temper roaring dangerously close to being out of check.

"That one was for dumping me." Robbie cried out, defensive of her hurt feelings. She reared back for another swing, but before she could land the punch John Mark snatched her up, winding her so tightly into his arms she couldn't get free.

Robbie wriggled in his iron embrace spitting a slew of obscenities from her pink goddess like lips. John Mark held her tightly waiting for his building anger to subside. "I only said the first one was free of charge," he warned.

Once his fury boiled down to a simmer, he released her. "I didn't dump you. I decided that it was best for you to go your own way," he said, arms crossed over his chest.

Tears flowed down Robbie's reddened cheeks as she stammered; "Now you're thinking for me. I am capable of thinking for myself. You have no right to do it for me." She walked to the heavily curtained window, pulling it back and squinting against the relentless light of the afternoon sun. Outside the world was fresh, and vibrant and green, basking in the warmth of late summer.

Trapped in the shadows, she could only watch life happen. Some of the vampires had adapted and found a way to live and to love, like Lucien with Alex and Patrick with Janine. It was possible, probably more risky for them than for John Mark and her. Janine and Alex were still human, and there was always the possibility that their fragile lives could be snuffed out like a candle's flame. A few days ago, she was just like them, living on borrowed hope so easily shattered in the blink of an eye. "Things will never be the way they were, will they." She didn't mean just her life. She meant everything. The curtain slid from her fingers to fall into place over the window, blocking out the light. "Never."

John Mark reached out a hand, laying it on Robbie's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I couldn't let you die." He sighed as he pulled her close against his body. "I'm not sorry I saved you. I'll never be sorry about that. I'm only sorry that you're suffering so badly because of my decision."

She shrugged John Mark's hand off, turning to look him in the eye. "You are the only constant in my life that I can count on. And you almost blew it. And for what? You're a warrior. I get it. I know something could happen to you. I understand the consequences of the life you live. And I'm here anyway. My choice."

That much was true, he would always be a part of her. Sharing space in her mind and occupying a special place in her heart. He'd always been there for her. And the thought of him not by her side, by choice, was unbearable. John Mark cupped her face in his hand. Pleading, he asked for her forgiveness. She turned away pushing his hand to the side. "You should have had more faith in me."

John Mark winced at her comment. "I know that now. I thought you wanted your freedom. You've been through enough over the past few weeks. I..." she cut him off with a wave of her hand. Patiently he waited, keeping silent, giving her time to think.

Taking his hand tightly in hers as she said, " I fought you from the very beginning. I tried to push you away, but you held on. You risked your life to protect me. I can see that you think you're protecting me now." She brought his hand over her heart. "I had a friend tell me once that despite the changes he went through, deep in here he was still the same. That's the guy I fell for. Somehow, when I wasn't looking, he worked his way in."

John Mark brought her close in a crushing embrace. He grinned down at her smugly. "I really got to you huh?"

Robbie stiffened in his arms. He was not going to play this off with a cocky comment and a smug, satisfied smile. Not this time. There was something more to what he was saying. A reason behind his actions that went beyond his fear of death. "What is it that you think you're protecting me from?"

John Mark sighed, guiding her to a chair and lowering her into it. He pulled its' neighbor up close beside her and sank down. "Robbie, we had a couple of really close calls. I want to love you more than anything, but..." He played with her hand, tracing outlines in her palm.

"That would have been a bad thing?" She wasn't sure if she should take offence to his statement or not. She was a grown woman and could make her own decisions of what to do or not to do with her body.

He shrugged, slouching deeper into his seat, "Could have been." He took a deep breath and continued. "I told you about what happens when a vampire consummates with his mate. The bond is much stronger than the one we share now through our blood. I didn't think with all the things that have happened to you recently, that you were ready for that. I want it, more than anything. But, you, you need time to think this through. Robbie, we can't take it back once it happens."

Robbie did recall him saying something, but that was before her life had changed so dramatically. Back when she scarcely believed. " Was it me you were concerned about or yourself?" she asked, slipping her hand away from his. "Maybe you're not ready."

John Mark reeled at the sharpness in her tongue as the words danced off its steely edge. "I've wanted to be with you for as long as I can remember. I've never wanted anything more. I've loved you forever. I am ready. I want this."

"You're not being fair." Her voice was weak and unsure. "How can I love you so much? How can you love me? It doesn't make sense." She stared down at the floor avoiding his eyes. She believed in love, the lifelong partnership between two people. But what he was proclaiming and what she was feeling in her own heart, it wasn't logical. A love like that burned and consumed until there was nothing left but ash. It couldn't last.

"Woman, you exhaust me." John Mark said through clenched teeth. He couldn't explain his feelings to her or understand her feelings for him. But, he was tired of fighting against them. Sometimes, life was messy and confusing, not everything could be neatly categorized or logically sorted out. This was one of those times. Giving in, he jerked Robbie out of her chair in a blur, gathering her up into his arms, claiming her mouth with his.

Robbie moaned against the assault of his mouth. Eagerly, she wrapped her arms around his neck. He carried her in his arms to the bed and lowered her down onto the cool fabric of the comforter. His hands explored her curves in their relentless pursuit of bare flesh. Barely able to breathe from the force of their combined passion, she arched into him, too far gone to retreat, too far gone to want to.

There was only him in this moment. Consuming her with his heady need. Burning her with her desire. Her whole life, she'd been cautious, thinking every action through in meticulous detail. Taking it apart and putting it back together in a way that made absolute sense. For once, with him as her guide, she was willing to simply go with it. "Good, you won't fight me too much."

"Babe, I'm not going to fight you at all," John Mark panted, claiming her lips with his mouth, her body with his hands, and her heart with his very soul.







Chapter 38

John Mark wasted no time, tearing Robbie's blouse open to expose the lacy bra underneath. The mere thought that she wanted him had him panting and hard. And hadn't they wasted enough time as it was, tiptoeing around each other and their combined destiny for years? She'd been the object of his every fantasy since puberty. For too long and far too many times, he'd dreamed of her, doing exactly what he was doing now, kissing her, touching her, tasting the salty sweet taste of her skin against his tongue, hearing the sound of his name on her lips, and breathing her in. The rightness of this moment, the yesterdays of want, the heady need of today, and the borrowed promise of tomorrow, had him claiming exposed inch of her in hungry desire. She was about to be his in every way possible and he was done with wasting another precious second's worth of time.

Bras had to be the female's greatest instrument of torture in the battle of the sexes. Annoyed that his lack of mastery of the claps that held the lacy shell-pink scrap of fabric in place foiled him once again, he tore through the lace with a fang and watched it fall to the floor with a triumphant gleam in his eye. Nothing was going to get in the way this time, especially not a piece of lingerie. John Mark cupped one breast in his palm, exploring the pebbled tip with his thumb.

To ensure he was paying the proper amount of attention to each of the girls, in the spirit of fairness and all, he lapped the hard nub of the other with his tongue. He had no idea if he was doing this exactly right. After all, the only real experience he'd had was in the practice sessions his mind so creatively invented. Some things, he guessed, came naturally. Robbie arched her back in response to his touch, like a cat arching against the stroke of its fur, thrusting her breasts into his mouth and his hands. She practically purred with pleasure from his touch. She liked it. He liked that she liked what he was doing to her. And, speculation aside, it was all good, damn good, and about damned time.

Robbie cried against the surges of pleasure John Mark's tongue and hands sent pulsing through her body. He was perfectly content to torture her with his assault on her breasts, flicking one peaked nipple with his tongue and caressing the other with the pad of his thumb in delightful little circles. She was ready to beg for more. Cry out to the heavens for respite from the heady desire that held her in its grip. She had no idea how good and how right it would feel to be wrapped up in his arms like this. Touched, suckled, and wanted with such urgency that it made her knees buckle from the sheer fierceness of it.

When the time finally came to give her body to a man, Robbie thought she'd be shy about it. Awkward and fumbling, exposing only what needed to be exposed to get the job done and then quickly scrabbling to cover them up when it was over. John Mark didn't make her feel any of those things. In his arms she felt wanted. And beneath the heat of his gaze on what little amount of flesh he saw, like the most beautiful, absolutely adored woman alive.

Shyness cast aside, Robbie stepped out of the circle of John Mark's arms and pulled the tattered articles of clothing over her head, dropping them on the floor. Her hands trembled as she tugged at the button of her shorts, unfastening it. Gathering her shorts and waistband of her underwear up in her fingers, she lowered them down her hips to her ankles and slid first one foot and then the other, kicking her clothes to the side with her big toe. Naked and exposed, she looked up, amazed by how right it felt, how freeing it was, to be standing there like this in front of him. "Say something."

Huh? Say something? John Mark was incapable of speech. Awestruck and staring at Robbie's body, so much skin, pearly, smooth and creamy, rippling beneath the heat of his gaze as he took in every last inch of it in its glory. "I can't," he managed to gasp, falling to his knees at her feet, her delicate feet, like a drunken man. Only, he wasn't drunk, he was drowning, going under for the last time. Drowning in her beauty, in the heady essence of her scent, and in the promise pleasure.

Gently, as if she were made of tissue paper instead of flesh and blood, he ran his hands along her outer thighs to feel her skin, smooth like silk beneath the pads of his fingers. Splaying his palms across the lush fullness of her backside, he pulled her in closer and rested his cheek against the soft, flat plane of her belly.

Some women wore sexy lingerie to get their men in the mood. Robbie had no need for such things. Her bare flesh, the skin sleeker than any satin, sexier than any scanty lace covering, was all the enticement he needed. Driven by something that was as inexplicable as the magic flowing through his veins, the very magic that held the universe together, he buried his face in the lushness of the curls between her thighs and inhaled the heady essence of her desire. Sliding his thumbs along the inside of her thighs, he inched her legs apart and hazarded a kiss to the most intimate part of her. Like a man who had spent days in the desert heat deprived of water, he drank her in, licking and suckling at the center of her until she quivered at the faintest whisper of his breath along her skin.

Robbie clawed at John Mark's back, desperately grappling to pull his t-shirt over his head, eager to feel the heat of his bare skin against her palms. The things he did to her with his mouth, his hands, his fingers, his lips, and his tongue, breaking her down into such a mass of quivering, needy flesh, should be forbidden and in some cultures, and probably were. Nobody should feel this good. Nothing should feel this decadent. And what was worse, the small sampling he'd given her would never be enough. The sensation of his tongue against the most secret part of her did nothing but stoke the flames of a fire that she swore would consume them both in its heat. She needed him naked. She needed to feel his flesh beneath her fingertips. She needed to feel his weight pressed against her. She needed him to ease the ache roaring inside of her. She just...needed...him...all of him.