Dawn Redeemed

"Evan, we're just fine," Hanning forced a smile and nodded at his son. Evan was too young to be burdened with something as black as his father's thoughts. He deserved a childhood free from worry and filled with love. Hanning could do that. He didn't need Ruby by his side to give his son all the love he deserved and plenty to spare. The old saying says that it takes a village to raise a child and he had an entire pack right here to help Evan grow up into the man he'd eventually become.

"Well damn," Torr teased as he flipped on the bathroom light and ran his hand over the tile. "The grout is already dry. Now what are we going to do?"

Erica stifled a snicker, peering into the immaculate bathroom. "You mean we missed it?" she said teasingly.

"I guess grout dries faster when it's not being watched." Torr reached for Erica and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close, playfully squeezing her. "I suggest we take advantage of this beautiful day and go on a picnic. Unless you have some other way we can occupy our time," he whispered in her ear suggestively. Her heart sped against his chest and he smelled the first hints of interest blooming along her skin.

Erica pressed her palm against his chest and wiggled out of his arms. She had more than a few ideas at what they might do together to pass the hours till she had to pick Fallon up from Nash's. All Torr had to do to make her throw common sense out of the window was pull her close and wrap those big, muscular arms around her shoulders and she was lost.

After all these years, she still responded to his body and longed for the feel of it pressed against her. "A picnic sounds great," she replied hoarsely. Wicked thoughts invaded her mind at the sight of the triumphant grin pulling his mouth up at the corners.

Torr took Erica's hand and led her into the kitchen. "I was really all set to watch the grout dry so I don't have much to throw together for our impromptu picnic. What'll it be, peanut butter and grape jelly or peanut butter and strawberry jam?" He fished a half empty jar of peanut butter out of the cabinets and reached for the bread.

"You always have to ask the hard questions," Erica teased as she took the peanut butter jar out of his hands and unscrewed the lid. "Grape jelly, I think."

"More traditional than rebel eh?" Torr asked, wrapping his fingers around the jar of grape jelly in the fridge. The outside of the jar was a little sticky with the remnants of jelly accidentally dribbled on the label.

Erica shrugged and smeared peanut butter across two slices of bread. "I guess so. What about you?" she asked, casually holding the butter knife in her hand. "You walking on the wild side?"

"Honey, I live on the wild side. Make mine strawberry," Torr answered. Licking the stickiness from his fingers as he set the grape jelly on the counter. While Erica assembled the sandwiches he finished building the rest of their picnic. He had carrot and celery sticks neatly chopped in a small stack. In the cabinet he'd found a bag of chips. He added a couple of crisp apples, and bottled water to the cooler to accompany the two sandwiches. "Not bad for a throw together picnic," he said proudly.

"All except for the strawberry jelly," Erica nodded. Washing the stickiness off her fingers and the grape jelly label. She blushed as Torr leaned against the counter and watched her methodically dry her hands and the swab the outside of the jar with a damp paper towel. "What?"

"I bet you secretly like strawberry jelly."

Erica chuckled and stuck the jelly jars back into the fridge. "Don't tell anyone," she said as she snatched the cooler out of his hands by the carrying strap. "I have a reputation to keep." She swayed her hips teasingly and wiggled her derriere at him as she draped the cooler strap over her shoulder and sashayed out of the kitchen.

Torr blinked as he watched her strut into the living room. She was flirting with him. Openly and admittedly flirting with him. He pushed off the counter and followed after her. Easily snatching her by the waist with one arm and spinning her to face him. "Your reputation is safe with me." The kiss was light and playful, barely a brush of soft, warm flesh and the sweet taste of jelly.

Erica ran her tongue over her lips and tasted the sweetness of the jelly left on Torr's lips from where he'd licked his fingers. She slid the cooler off her shoulder and passed it to him. Exchanging it for the blanket draped over the back of the couch. "You taste like grape jelly," she said. A blush spread over her cheeks like wildfire at the devilish grin full of mischief and promise he shot her. "We'd better go."

Torr followed Erica out and locked up behind them. He jogged ahead of her and held open the passenger side door of the truck. Snickering when she shot him her best glare of independence at the gesture. "Where to?"

Erica thought for a minute while Torr climbed in beside her. There was always the city park a few blocks away. But on a beautiful sunny day like this, it would be overrun with screaming kids and harried mothers. Not that she wanted privacy with Torr, nah.

The beach wasn't open for the season yet. She pretended that the thought of being alone with him on a warm, sunny stretch of sand wasn't appealing and more than a bit reminiscent of the afternoon they shared in Corpus Christi. Coincidence, not nostalgia. She was interested in getting to know Torr better. Maybe have some good conversation and nothing more. "Hang a right at the corner and head south out of town."

Chapter 36

Shayla was at a complete loss for words. She'd sat staring at the door long after Carter slammed it shut in her face and disappeared into the labyrinth of tunnels outside. Moody bastard. Every time she thought for a second that she might be breaking through that cool icy exterior of his, he clammed up and ran like hell to keep her at a distance. She knew that he loved her. Knew it. He didn't have to say it. She felt it deep in the marrow of her bones. She could use the link between them to find him. But, if he didn't want to be found, what was the point? He'd shut her out.

Right now, she wasn't sure if she had the energy to deal with his baggage when she had more than enough of her own. Why did everyone she loved and trusted end up slamming a door in her face? Ramon loved her. She knew it. Doubt never once entered her mind. But, he always kept a part of himself at a distance. As if he were hiding something from her. She never had the guts to ask what and looking back, she wished she still had the chance.

She knew about Ramon and Ruby. They made a choice to follow duty instead of their hearts, but after the wedding, after Ramon chose her instead. Ruby had driven a wedge in between them. Wedge? It was more like a mountain. Ramon's death and the birth of his son should have drawn them closer together as sisters. Instead it drove them even further apart. Ruby had slammed the door in her face the moment Shayla had said "I do" and married Ramon. Ruby had never forgiven her for marrying Ramon or herself for letting him go.

Shayla glanced up at the clock ticking away the minutes since Carter walked out the door. By now, Ruby was probably in Texas. Shayla had to wonder what her sister found waiting for her upon her return. What else could there possibly be left for her there? Nothing but the ruins and pain of a former life. Shayla was glad, although she still ached with the loss of her husband, that life was over and she could start over. Ruby clung to her memories of times that weren't happy, as Shayla remembered, and Ruby was welcome to them.

Looking back, so many things now made sense that didn't before. Ruby held Hanning to a standard that he could never live up to. Ruby hated him because he couldn't be Ramon. How many times had Shayla caught the look of envy in her sister's eyes when she'd look at her? How many times had Ruby pushed Hanning away. Shayla used to think that displays of affection embarrassed her sister. Now she knew that wasn't the case. Ruby didn't love Hanning and never had. Ruby could have learned to accept and live with the decisions she'd made. She could have built a life and a family. Instead she'd chosen to slowly seethe in jealousy over something, someone, she had given away. The fact that Ramon grew to love her instead had been like a cancer that had eaten away at Ruby and her family for years until it had finally spread out of control.

R.J. was the living breathing embodiment of how much Ramon loved Shayla. And Ruby's resentment burned like a raging fire unstoppable and consuming everything in its path. Ruby could destroy her own life. There wasn't anything Shayla could do about that. Ruby could try to take Evan away from his father and drag him to Texas with her. There wasn't anything Shayla could do to stop her. Ruby getting her hands on R.J., that was something Shayla could do something about.

Carter swallowed back the pain and forced his eyes open. He lifted his face up and up till the rays boiled his retinas in their heat. The world around him burst into a prism of color, shimmering waves of glittering red, the most intense violet he'd ever seen, and shades of blinding color that had no definition. Tears rolled down his cheeks and dripped off his chin onto the rocky gray shale beneath his feet. He ground his molars tightly.

He wasn't worried about burning up in the sun. That was total bullshit. If only ending his life was so easy as taking a stroll at high noon. He would have done it centuries ago. No, vampires were made of tougher substance than that. If only he could see the beauty around him instead of the blinding terror of daylight. If only he could erase the centuries and become human again, for Shayla. If only he could become the man who dreamed and could feel love once again. Mortal death would be worth it, just to have one lifetime to spend with her. To be what she deserved instead of this monster that time had made him.

He bit back the screams of agony that welled in his throat. Not just the utter torment of the agony the sun inflicted upon him, but the agony of knowing that he could never be man enough for Shayla. The way she looked at him. The love he saw in those soft brown eyes made him long to be whole once again. What a clever deception the two of them had constructed. For a moment he had convinced himself he believed in what she saw.

Shayla would never understand. She was pure and innocent, like the babe she held in her arms. She couldn't comprehend what a devil he was. She blindly offered her throat and trusted him. Eventually, the beast inside of him would break free and he'd do what he did best. Kill. It was the nature, the very design, of what he was. Everything he held dear, turned to dust in his hands.

The way Carter saw things. He had two choices. Stay and fight for her or turn tail and run before the demon destroyed them both. He wanted to fight. Bask in the belief and faith that she had in him. Shun the darkness that had governed his life for far too long. How would the battle end? Could a creature as old as he start over? Could he learn to walk in the light when he'd known nothing but darkness for so very long? Staying dead was the easier choice, but since when was he one to take the easy way out?



Chapter 37

Erica slid her feet out of the sandals and laced the straps around her fingers as she stood at the edge of the deserted beach. In a month, the place would be teeming with families, sun worshipers, and couples sprawled out on blankets and beach towels. But for the moment, they had the place all to themselves. The water was crystal clear and the distant whisper of the breeze brushing across the tops of pines was the only sound. "Nice isn't it?" The sand wasn't a thing like the sand in Corpus Christ. The sand was warm and coarse against the soles of her feet, not hot and fine as powder, as she walked across the beach and chose a spot for the blanket.

"Yeah, good choice," Torr agreed. He wiggled his feet free of his worn brown loafers and rolled up his pants legs. He settled the cooler down at the edge of the blanket and plopped down beside Erica. She sat curled up on her calves squinting against the bright light of the noonday sun smiling at him. He shifted his weight and folded his long legs to sit Indian style on the blanket. Reaching for the cooler to divvy out their lunch, he said, "I have an idea." He unzipped the lid and pulled out the bounty. "Lets share sandwiches. I'll be a bit more conservative and eat half of your grape if you live a bit wilder and eat half of my strawberry."

Erica shrugged and took her half of his clumsily torn peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich out of his hand. "Ok." She opened the plastic bag and tore her sandwich in half dutifully handing half to Torr. She sat the other half down on the plastic and picked up the half of his sandwich he'd given her. Staring down into the strawberry jam that clung to the crust of the bread, she bit into the sandwich. "You know no matter how you look at it. Its still just peanut butter and jelly."

Torr laughed and tore into his half of Erica's shared sandwich, agreeing. "I suppose you're right." The grape jelly was sweet and rolled across his tongue blending with the earthy taste of peanut butter and the dryness of the bread. He swallowed hard to force it down and reached for his water bottle. "Grape or strawberry jelly really doesn't matter. It's still just a sandwich, after all."

Conversing with wads of sticky peanut butter and bread was tricky at best. They sat eating their sandwiches with a comfortable, companionable silence stretching between them. When she was finished, Erica downed the rest of her water bottle and stretched out on the blanket. Basking in the warm sun. "My cousin and I used to come here all the time as kids," she said, digging her toes into the sand at the edge of the blanket.

"Can you swim?" Torr asked casually. Leaning on an elbow as he stared down at the strip of creamy skin peeking out from the gap between the hem of her top and the waistband of her Capri pants. He wanted to run his finger and trace the dimple of her belly button.

"No. I never learned. A few brave souls tried to teach me, but I sank like a rock every time." Erica shifted and turned over onto her belly, staring up at Torr. The glow of the sun caught the ends of his tousled hair and illuminated the black curls with a deep mahogany fire. She blushed and forced her eyes to focus on the glittering waves when she realized that she was staring at him and imagining the texture of his hair as she ran her hands through it. "Alex was the true athlete out of the two of us.

"Its not too late to learn. I could teach you," Torr said, hiding a smirk of satisfaction behind a friendly smile. Teasingly, he chucked his index finger under her chin. The sunlight brought out the hints of red in Erica's hair, turning it into a ring of fire to curl around her pretty face. "Somewhere in there an athlete waits to be freed."

Erica shook her head. "No, I'd drown."

"You don't trust me not to let you drown?" Torr feigned offence. Erica lightly rested her chin on the length of his finger. Slowly, he bent his knuckle into a hook and guided her face closer to his. So close, so slow until their mouths hovered inches apart. The heat of her lips was hotter than the noonday sun beating on his back, scalding him with its warmth. He tipped his head to close that fragile distance only to feel her chin slide from his grip.

"No, I don't trust myself not to pull us under and drown the both of us," Erica said as she slipped free from Torr's fingers. Uncomfortable in the awkwardness between them, she inched back and sat up, resting her chin on her folded knees. "Maybe this was a mistake." A part of her curled onto itself as soon as the words left her lips. Torr made it so easy, too easy to forget what she was really doing here with him. Today wasn't about rekindling a lost love. Today was about developing a friendship, a workable relationship, with Fallon's father.

Eleven years ago, when she had that first awful bout of morning sickness. Erica's life ceased to be about her. When she was with Torr. She seemed to forget that. Torr made her want to take risks. He talked about walking on the wild side. Erica didn't need the wild side. She couldn't afford to think in terms of what she wanted, but only what was best for Fallon. Spending the afternoon flirting with Torr was not what was best for Fallon, or her, or any of them. In fact, she was doing nothing but giving Torr false hopes and that wasn't fair to him. She could not get involved with him or anyone else until she had her life in order. Whatever she felt for Torr was nothing but a spark of a memory that was best, for all of them, forgotten.

Torr frowned and folded his long legs up into a sit beside Erica. He couldn't figure out what he'd done wrong to make her withdraw. They'd kissed before. Hell, they'd kissed today. He'd liked it and he knew damn good and well she had too. "Erica...I don't understand. I thought... no... I know you're interested in me."

Erica cringed and dug her heels into the soft, grainy warmth of the sand. "I am. Please, please don't think it's you. It's me. I didn't mean to lead you on." Erica shrugged and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "Torr, I just can't do this again."

"You think the only reason we're here is so that I can charm my way into your pants?" Torr sputtered in disbelief. "You think that I'd make love to you and that'd be the last we'd see of each other for another ten years?"

Torr didn't try to hide the outrage in his voice. "When we met, I was a different person. I didn't care about anyone but myself. I didn't care about what kind of path my life was on or where it was headed. I left you high and dry to clean up whatever mess I might have made out of your life. You have a right to be pissed about that. But make sure you've got all your fact straight first.

"You left I didn't. I did try to find you, but I didn't know where to look. I didn't know if I'd ever see you again. I didn't know if I'd fathered a child or not. The not knowing, was the worst. I didn't want to ever go through that again and I took measures to make sure that I wouldn't. Erica, I had a vasectomy."

"You gave up your chance to have children?" Erica asked, shocked by his statement. He was too young to think that he might not want a family in the future. "Even when you weren't even sure that you were a father or not?" Erica asked. "I didn't know I hurt you so badly. I thought I was..." She swallowed hard as she spoke, "the only one who suffered after that night. If mistakes were made, they were mine as well. I wasn't looking for anything permanent. I, same as you, was looking for a one night stand. I knew that going into it. I took unnecessary risks that night too. Maybe, I assumed too much the next morning.

"I've never regretted that night, never will. I've never hated you or resented you for leaving or for giving me Fallon. I'll be honest. At times, it was hard not to be angry at you. Ultimately, I couldn't though. Fallon is the best gift anyone could have ever given me. Seeing that little girl smile, hearing her voice, made every rough patch worth it. I'm only sorry that I was selfish. That I didn't realize that you were hurting too. Phone lines run both ways. Interstates have two lanes. I could have just as easily have tried to find you, but I didn't."

Torr gently slid Erica's hand into his fingers and gave them a light squeeze, "Maybe we should call the blame game a wash and start all over. I'll be honest. I want you so bad it hurts. I always have since that first night. I'm not interested in sex... ok, so I am. But, that's not what I'm here for. I'm not interested in the past. I'm interested in the future. Erica, I want to get to know you and my daughter better.