Dawn Rising

"I don't know what I'm supposed to think," Alex said to nobody. This was a place for the dead. Very few living, and then only, the devout, came here. "When you were dead. It was easier. I knew where we stood. Now that you're alive, I don't know what to do with you." Her fingers picked at a spray of silk flowers she'd left during winter's chill. She should throw them into the trash. Better yet, into the burn barrel along with all the other bitter memories. The flowers, all of her time spent coming here mourning Lucien was for nothing. A waste.

Alex was distracted from her thoughts, from her grief, by the sound of footsteps approaching from behind her. She didn't need to turn. She knew who it was. She could feel him. His presence burned into her like the heat of the sun on her skin.

"You ever get the feeling that someone is standing on your grave?" Lucien asked, watching Alex carefully. He jammed his hands into his pockets as he waited for an answer. He'd followed her to the graveyard and hidden in the shadows just as he had for years. They had great conversations together when he was dead and couldn't join in. He didn't know he was such a good listener.

He'd watched her burn their past to ashes in the fire. He was always watching and never doing. Lucien wanted to scream. Stop her from destroying them. Shout out that they weren't done yet. They'd never be done. He wasn't dead. He wasn't in that grave. Alex knew that now. And she'd burned the mementos of the past that should have been their future as if he were really gone. The time for watching from the shadows was over. It was time for action. Time to save them and build a new future.

"That's not funny." Alex replied. She kept her back turned to him. Lucien was a shadow, a ghost from her past. He belonged in this graveyard amongst the dead. He wasn't alive, at least not to her. The best he could do was mimic the living.

Lucien crept closer, standing over her. "How are you doing?" he asked. He lowered himself down to the ground, sitting beside her. He longed to touch her, but didn't dare. He stared at her new haircut. The shorter style highlighted the deep brown of her eyes and the pert tilt of her nose. Unlike her long hair that belonged to a little girl, this hairstyle, the cut, was one of a woman coming of age. The chin length drew attention to the pink fullness of her lips. He liked the new look. But, he wouldn't attempt to complement her. She'd probably buzz it off to her scalp out of spite if he did.

"What are you doing here, Luke? Oh wait, do I go back to calling you Lucien again?" Alex spun determined to look him in the eyes. "What are you?" she asked, letting her gaze roam to meet his. For a vampire, despite his size and the fangs she knew were hidden beneath incredibly soft lips, he didn't frighten her. He looked more like the boy she knew than the vampire, whose acquaintance she'd only just made.

"Why are you asking questions that you already know the answers to?" Lucien asked. She knew what he was. The word, uttered from her lips in dread and contempt, sent ice crystals through his veins. He didn't see himself as one of those things. Objects of horror and dark myths meant to frighten children into bed at night. That wasn't him. Oh, he could be damn scary, when he wanted to. But, around Alex, he only wanted to be a man. Not the boy he had been. That kid was in the grave. But, he wanted her to see beyond what he was and look deep into who he was. He captured her eyes and held her gaze. "What do you want me to say?"

"I need to hear it from your lips." Alex broke her eyes away from his stare. Distracting herself by toying with a blade of grass ripped from the base of the headstone to keep her eyes from wandering back to his.

"You've heard the truth from my blood. I don't have any secrets. Not anymore. You know them all. What more is there to say?" He took her hand in his, stilling her fingers. He wanted her to concentrate solely on him, on the moment. He could apologize a thousand times and the words would count for shit.

"I don't know what to believe. My heart has been broken for so long. I felt so guilty because I lived and you didn't. I mourned you. Why did you leave me? How could you do that to me? I thought it was just the two of us forever!" Alex wiped away the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, holding back for all she was worth. Determined that he wouldn't see her cry. She'd had enough of tears and of grief. "You could have told me I would have understood."

"I had no choice. The accident left me mortally injured. I was badly burned and broken. I was going to die. I couldn't stand to be near a human once it happened. It took a long time before I could be trusted, trained, to control my basic nature." He gave a brief pause for Alex to say something.

When she didn't respond, he went on. " I wasn't prepared for the change. There wasn't time. The Sons made the choice for me. And as much as it has cost me, I don't regret their decision. By the time I had passed my training and learned to control myself, months had passed. You thought I was dead. Your parents thought it best to leave things the way they were. They were trying to protect you. I was trying to protect you, Alex."

"I didn't need anybody to protect me. I needed the truth." Alex said in a hushed, small, voice. His nearness. The heat of his touch was too much. She wanted to be afraid of him. Use that fear as a reason to put distance between them. Give her an excuse to turn her back on him. He felt as human as anybody else. Warm skin. A pulse. Breath. Tears. It was a lie. A careful deceit meant to disarm her. Desperate for space, she slid her hand out of his and rose to her feet to pace amongst the stones.

The gravestones beneath her fingertips were smooth and heated by the sunlight. Meant to remember the dead. Some of the stones were so worn with age, bleached smooth by countless seasons, pale white and smooth. The names etched onto their surfaces were illegible. Some of the newer additions glistened with showy, sleek granite surfaces, brilliant and radiant beneath the noonday sun. Fine memorials. "I knew you were alive. Somehow, I just knew it. I thought I was losing my mind! My parents... and you ..let me believe it."

Alex couldn't stop her tears. They fell to spite her. "You were my best friend. I trusted you. And you left me!" Fueled by anger and frustration, she stormed to stand before him. "You lied to me! You tricked me. For God's sake Lucien...I slept with you. No...wait a minute. I slept with Luke last night didn't I. The Lucien I knew is dead."

Alex sat on the smooth top of one of the stones. Somehow, she didn't think its owner would mind. "How's that for irony?" A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "I thought I was moving ahead only to learn I was actually going backwards."

"Alex...," Lucien's lips moved. But, no words came out. He didn't know what to say. She was right to be angry. Nothing he could ever do or say would make it up to her. He had lied about who and what he was. And yes, she was right, there was a certain irony to the situation. Last night had been the best night of his life. Not the sex, although it was amazing. Being with her. Loving her. Knowing she loved him in return.

He had been coming up with a plan to tell her. He'd been waiting for the right moment. Trying to think of a subtle way to break it to her. Make her understand his reasons. Last night, things just moved too fast and got out of hand before he got the chance. Life had gone from its normal slow motion to fast forward. And they were both hanging on for the ride.

"Alex, I never left you. So many times, I came close to telling you. I was always there with you: at night, when you slept, a face in the crowd, anonymous, always watching and waiting. I was there, so close to you. Deep down, I hoped you'd see me, and something would click. You'd know. I'd think I finally worked up the courage to face you. But, I'd creep away like the coward I am. I couldn't tell you. I wanted to. But, you'd already suffered so much. How could I hurt you all over again?"

Alex perched on the edge of his tombstone, like a brilliantly colored cardinal in the gloom of winter. Lucien reached out and reclaimed her hand. His fingers felt her bounding pulse beneath his calloused pads. "I thought it was better that you believed I was dead. I was wrong. We all were. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry isn't enough. Sorry, is what you say when you accidentally step on somebody's toe. Not what you say when you sleep with someone while pretending to be somebody you're not. I'm sorry doesn't begin to cover it." Alex turned away to hide the tears that rolled down her cheeks in a hot torrent of regret. He hadn't forgotten her. The fact that he'd watched over her while she slept, might be kind of creepy, in an Edward and Bella, Twilight, stalker kind of way. But, somehow, hadn't she always known he was there? Wasn't that why her heart had refused to believe when her head told her differently?

Lucien moved to stand beside Alex. His eyes locked on the headstone so generously donated by the Sons to his grieving parents. They should have gotten an academy award for their performance. They knew what happened to him. As soon as he'd gotten strong enough, he sent them away. Florida was a great place for them to wile away their golden years in style. How could he watch them wither and die when he was capable of stopping it? He loved them too much to take away the one thing they'd taken from him. Choice.

"Alex, I love you. I always have. We can't go back. We're both different people. But, we can move forward. Can you forgive me for what I've done?" He bent over his tombstone and picked up the dainty silver locket and chain. He flipped the heart over and over in his palm. The day he'd given it to her seemed like a lifetime ago. Deeply he sighed and did nothing to hide the anguish in his voice. Regret for all that they'd lost. "I guess you finally figured out how long forever truly is. From my point of view, it's a very, very, long time. That's how long I'll love you. No matter what you decide."

Alex couldn't take the longing in Lucien's brown eyes. The pain reflected in their depths. The silver locket, once a token of a boy's first love, and now a bitter reminder of how long his forever was and how limited hers would be. She pushed at him to increase the distance between their bodies. Inches were too close, feet were too close, hell, a few state lines would have been to close at this moment. What was she supposed to do with a love...with a man that would never die? "Stop it Lucien! Just stop it. I can't."

Lucien would not be deterred. He had to feel her in his arms, if only once more. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and pulled her close. His strength easily overpowered her struggles. Alex was unable to resist, with great sobs she buried her face into his shoulder. "Alex," he rasped, whispering against her ear, "being without you has been hell. I love you and I know you love me. Please forgive me. You feel my heart beating. Can't you feel it breaking? You want to say I'm dead. But, you know differently. I'm alive, very much alive."

His heart skipped a beat as he felt her body soften and melt against his. He bent his head low timidly brushing her lips with his. When she didn't resist him, he claimed her mouth with deep, passionate kiss that resonated all the way into his very soul.

Alex felt her heart as it pounded within her chest. Lucien certainly felt very much alive with his arms wrapped so tightly around her body. He was made of flesh and bone. And his hurt ran just as deeply as hers. They'd both been so empty without the other one to make them whole.

She loved him, as much as she didn't understand about his nature, she understood that she loved and needed him. He was like a body part that had been ripped away and reattached. Essential. For the first time since the accident, she felt whole again. She responded to his kisses with a wild fury fueled on by his thoughts, which shouted within the confines of her mind. He loved her. The knowledge of the depths of his love for her gave her the courage to face the unknown with him. "I never could tell you no."

Lucien smiled, his lips pressed against hers. "I know." He dipped his tongue into her mouth and searched out the sweetness of its deepest recesses. Alex kissed him back with sweeping motions of her tongue against his. Seeking him out with eager thrusts and gentle, hungry sighs. He was done with hiding. Done with lies. All they'd ever caused either one of them was pain. So tired of playing dead, of being dead because he'd been deprived of the one thing that had made his life worth living. Alex.

Reluctantly, Lucien broke the kiss and searched the depths of her brown eyes. Smiling, reassured by the love he saw echoing within them, he planted a kiss on the top of her forehead. "We should get back, your mom and dad are probably going nuts by now." He gathered her hand up in his and led her down the gravel path. They walked slowly, dragging out the trek back. "We good?"

Alex exhaled a sigh. She was feeling such a mix of emotions right now, joy and sadness, hope and fear, volleying for space in her mind. Lucien's hand felt strong and warm to her touch. She snuggled in a little closer her arm brushing against his. "Very."

Chapter 27

The mood was too intense. The emotions were simply too raw and new to be sorted out in a few heartbeats. Thoughts of newly found strength and heightened senses preoccupied her mind. In the woods, she could hear tiny creatures breathing. Smell their musk on the ground and in the trees. She could pulverize doorknobs to powder with the gentlest of grips. See colors she hadn't even realized existed. This was Lucien's life...everyday. For the moment, the abilities were hers, momentarily on loan from the act of saving her life. She had to admit. She was curious about them, and about him. Teasing, she asked, "Just exactly what type of vampire abilities have I borrowed from you?"

Lucien grinned. He knew she was baiting him. But, he was ready for a little play. They both were. They were together again. Learning to reclaim the love they thought they'd lost. Showing Alex would help her to understand a little more about him, and maybe a thing or two about herself. "Race you back to the house. See if you can keep up." He sprinted down the lane, taken by surprise as she darted past him in a blur or redheaded fury. He poured on more speed, sprinting along beside her. It felt good to be rid of the secrets that had bound him for so long. Both of them living in the moment and not looking a second beyond it.

Alexander lifted his brows in curiosity to the sound of gleeful laughter breaking through the silence of the woods. He aimed the hose at the burn barrel and squeezed the nozzle in his palm. Whatever Alex had set on fire smoked furiously. Leigh had demanded that he go out and douse the barrel with the garden hose instead of letting the smoldering remains burn themselves out.

Alex rounded the corner with Lucien close on her heels. Running at top speed, kicking up bits of gravel with the soles of her shoes. He grinned as Alex and Lucien scrambled to gain control of first place. His little girl would not yield one inch. They darted up the lane toward the house like a couple of kids, playfully taunting and jeering at each other. Whatever Lucien had said or done, it worked. After so many somber, trying years, it was good to hear his daughter laugh again.

Alex was just a few feet from the front walk when a pair of hands grasped her waist and she was catapulted into the air and thrust squarely on Lucien's shoulders. She gasped and giggled, her laughter echoed across the rolling timberline. Lucien darted toward the back porch, shouting, "duck" just as he cleared the top step. Once on the porch, he lifted her up off his shoulders, setting her down on her feet. Alex was so filled with joy. The run had felt so good. She squeezed Lucien hard around the middle and drug him into the house, accidentally ripping the screen door off the hinges as they went in. "Sorry dad!"

Leigh heard the happy sounds of her daughter's laughter as it echoed through the house. She darted from the living room to see what all the fuss was about. A blur rushed past her just brushing by her left shoulder. "What are you doing?" she shouted after the blur that she assumed was her daughter. She eyed Lucien suspiciously. Sheepishly, he shrugged his shoulders, a great big boyish grin splayed across his face.

"Oh, something smells good!" Alex exclaimed, sniffing around the kitchen for the source of the heavenly aroma. She was famished. Her nose drew her attention to the smell of meat, probably beef, roasting in the oven. She pulled a fork from the dish strainer and was jerked open the oven door just as her mother came into view.

"Stop right there!" Leigh exclaimed, snatching the fork from Alex's fingers. "Its not ready yet." She shook her head at her daughter, frowning at she the short crop. Her daughter had cut off all of her long, beautiful hair. She didn't like it. But, there would be no unhappiness in her kitchen tonight. "Here have a glass of water till dinner is ready." She said, filling a glass from the tap and thrusting it into Alex's hand.

Unthinkingly, Alex grasped the glass too tightly shattering it into a thousand tiny shards that scattered across the kitchen floor. "Sorry mom." Alex said as she scrambled for the broom and dustpan. "I'm not used to being this strong." She stammered apologetically. With unfounded speed, she cleaned up the shards of broken glass and deposited them into the trashcan. Seeing the frown splayed across her mom's face, she slunk away, mumbling, "I'll just go sit with Lucien in the living room till dinner is ready."

Leigh rolled her eyes and shook her head. She was so glad that her daughter was so much better. But she silently wondered how much more the poor old house could endure. Surely, Leigh mussed, the effects would start to wear off and she would have the old Alex back soon.

********

Janine scrambled out of the shower, trying to hurry as she heard Alex's giggles waft down the hallway. Laughter was a rarity from Alex and she wanted to know what had tickled her best friend to the point of giggling like a kid at recess. She was anxious to see her BFF and ready to get her part of the explaining over and done. She also had kept her share of secrets from Alex and the sooner she aired them the better.

Hurriedly, Janine tugged her favorite pair of jeans over her still damp thighs, bouncing to work them up her butt. She could not be gaining weight. She wouldn't allow it. The dryer setting must have been too high and the jeans shrank. After sucking it in and struggling with the zipper, Janine shimmied into a snug fitting t-shirt and fluffed her hair. Crisis or not, she still had an image to maintain. Looking positively gorgeous wasn't easy. "Is that Alex I hear?"

Alex's brow furrowed in confusion. Of course, she'd noticed her beat up Honda parked in the drive alongside the house. But, it'd never dawned on her to ask who had driven it home. To say she was surprised to see her best friend pop out of the shower and park her butt on the couch was an understatement. "Janine? What are you doing here?"

Janine pasted a smile on her face and crossed her legs as best she could in her skinny jeans. Alex knew her too well for her to bullshit her way through an explanation. They were best friends, and way past the point of bullshitting one another anyway. Not quite sure of how or where to start, Janine made over Alex's new hairstyle. Cooing about how much she loved it and it brought out her best friend's features. Alex wasn't fooled. She could tell by the suspicious narrowing of Alex's eyes just exactly how much her efforts at flattery had been a total bust.