Dawn's Innocence

"I have protected him with my body and he, me, with his blood. Yet, I can't bear to see him in any more pain than what he has already suffered. Yes, he deserves to die. But, no more than any other of us gathered here. We have all committed wrongs. Caused pain. I beg for your leniency and your pardon. Show him mercy, as I do. Allow him to live." Shayla scrambled to her feet and planted them between Carter and the Great White Wolf. She'd chosen her side...and it wasn't Carter, or the brothers, or the pack. It was life.

Drew nodded in appreciation of Shayla's bravery and out of the certainty of her faith in Carter. "Carter, you are a dark being. I have seen inside of your soul. You revel in your self-imposed night. You believe there is no redemption for you. Perhaps, there isn't. That is not for me to know. I can relieve you of your suffering, by the swift swing of a blade or by offering you the light you have shunned for so long. What would you have me do?"

"End it. I have showed no mercy to countless souls and I expect none in return."

The Great Father unsheathed his blade and lifted it in the air. The sun glinted off the silvery surface. Carter wanted to die. He'd proven himself and his Guardians to be worthy allies. Drew feared what he was about to do in the name of justice would turn his greatest allies into bitter enemies. He could press the issue. No real harm had been done to Shayla. Carter hadn't killed and broken the only law the brotherhood truly had. Drew could force him to live. Chain him like a dog and hope one day Carter came to his senses. But, to what end? A vampire who had already bartered his soul in retribution for his guilt was already as good as dead. There was no point in forcing Carter to live. "I am sorry, my friend."

"NO!" Shayla flung herself at Carter, knocking him to the ground and out of the path of Drew's blade. The pack growled and scrabbled at the ground with their sharp claws and whined in uncertainty. "If my baby is tainted by anything, it is by the death that has surrounded him since the moment he was conceived. No more death!" She took a deep breath and stared up at the Great White Wolf with imploring eyes. Carter stirred beneath her, gently trying to pry her off his body without hurting her so he could take his place at the tip of the Great Father's blade. "I command that he live. As punishment for his acts, he should live!"

Stunned, Carter shook off the weight of Shayla's body. She scrambled to keep her hold on him. She didn't understand. Tears he didn't deserve rolled down her cheeks. Bitter tears she cried for him. Gently, he pulled her to him and cupped her jaw in his palm tilting her head so that she was forced to see the truth of his words in his eyes. "Shayla, I am weary of this life. I've seen enough of night. Let me go to the land of the damned where I belong. I've avoided death's greedy grasp long enough." To prove his point and force her to see what he was. Carter fisted her hair and jerked her head back, exposing the bounding pulse of her jugular and lowering his lips to the tender flesh in a chaste kiss. "I'll never be whole. I'll never be able to give you what your heart desires. You know what I am. The fact that I am willing to condemn my soul to hell for all eternity for another taste of you is proof enough of the monster I am."

"Carter, I know what you are and I'm not afraid of you. Please. You have to live."

"Because you command it as my punishment?"

"No Carter, because I love you." With a hiss of shock, Carter released her and shoved her out of his reach. He scrambled to the far perimeter of blades and dagger and of claw and razor sharp teeth as he could get. As far away from her as the wall of wolves and brothers would allow. Someone helped Shayla scramble to her feet and guided her out of the ring of bodies, away from Carter. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she turned to watch over her shoulder as the Sons moved in to bind his arms and legs with links of heavy, steel cable before hauling him off into the depths of the woods.

Their eyes met one last time. His glacier blue eyes freezing her where she stood. The tears streaming down her face burned a hot trail. His tears were cold, glittering like a sheen of frost in the sunlight. His shoulders drooped beneath the heavy weight of the steel cables and the brotherhood's beefy hands on him. His eyes reflected the regret he felt over what she'd seen. What he'd put her through. And the burden of his own condemning, limited self-perception that he'd never be the man she wanted and needed him to be.

The woods grew quiet as the pack lumbered off into the distance. The few remaining brothers retreated leaving Shayla standing in the middle of a beautiful spring day with the Great White Wolf. The wolves weren't ones for pity and the brothers were of few words. It was better this way with only Drew and her left behind. "What will you do with him?" She asked, wiping the trail of her tears from her cheeks with the hem of her jacket.

"Until Carter accepts light and life over darkness and death, there's nothing I can do. Shayla, I am sorry." Gently Drew cupped her cheek and dabbed at the few remaining tears with the pads of his thumbs. Sparing Carter's life took bravery and faith and perhaps, belief in something greater than even Shayla herself realized. Maybe, she was right and there was some good left in Carter and he was worth saving. Maybe her love would be enough to drive out the darkness and make him choose the light instead of the dark. "Give him some time."

Shayla blinked away a fresh tear. "Time is all he's got left."

"No, he's got you."

"I hope I'm enough."

There was no way to answer Shayla's statement. They parted company at the gully separating the pack lands from the brotherhood's domain. He left her with her feet on the trail that would lead her home. He had Carter to deal with. He kept his words to himself. He hoped she was enough to bring Carter back too.

Chapter 44

Kacie was looking better. At least she'd stopped mumbling and was making sense again. Tristen groaned guiltily. He'd been the one to ask Carter to share his blood. At the time, it was the only option he had. She was bleeding, battered, and close to dying from Seff's brutality. Now, as a consequence of his request, she was stuck with the vampire in her head, suffering his darkness. Carter had performed his miracle and had healed her physical injuries, but had left deep wounds beneath the surface where they couldn't be seen. Wearily, Kacie opened her eyes and stared up at him from beneath the mound of blankets he'd piled on top of her. "You scared me."

"I scared myself." Kacie took the mug of herbal tea from Tristen's hand and hazarded a sip. She forced down the swallow, frowning at the bitter taste. "Carter's in deep shit isn't he?"

"I think so." Tristen ran his fingers gently across Kacie's furrowed brow. "If I could make it go away I would. But, I can't. I thought you were going to die. He saved your life."

"I owe him for that, and you." Kacie set her mug on the coffee table and traced a light fingertip across Tristen's drawn brows. "I remember bits and pieces about that night. Carter's blood put me back together again. He healed me. But, you, you're the one who saved my life."

"I'd do it again."

This time, there was no cockiness to Tristen's smile. His lips curved upwards in a warm and genuine, heartfelt smile that absolutely melted her heart. "You'll always have my back, won't you?"

"You know it." He gave her a soft peck on the lips and tucked the edges of the blankets tighter around her shoulders. "I've got some stuff to do. Will you be alright for a while?" He sensed that Kacie needed some time alone. Sleep would do her good. The tea would help to relax her enough to doze off. He could do with a few minutes to himself too.

"Yeah. I'm going to finish the tea and lounge around for a bit. I've had enough excitement for one day." Her morning had started out with a pushy vampire throwing her out of bed. Then she'd almost fallen to her death. And sharing the few minutes that she had in Carter's head, up close and personal, was more than plenty. Carter was in a dark, desperate place. She needed time alone to think about that place and what she could do to help him get out of it. She settled on the couch and closed her eyes as Tristen eased out the front door. No doubt, he was in the same head space as she. They both had plenty to think about, too much to think about. And when they were together, there sure as hell wasn't any deep thinking going on. They were too much a distraction to one another.

"Evan?" Marianne knocked on his closet door. "Are you ever going to come out of there?"

"Is Uncle Carter ok?" Evan asked from beneath the heap of clothes. He pretended he was a badger, fierce and sharp toothed burrowed down in his hidey hole. His vision of the future had changed, but he was confused by what he saw. The pictures in his mind were of events way, way far off...further into the distant present than he'd ever seen before. He saw a boy...no a man... his shape foggy and blending into the mists of things yet to come. Evan didn't know who the man was, but he was going to change everything that was supposed to happen. The future was like that though. Heading one direction one minute then swirling and charging down another course, like water over rocks.

"He somewhere where he can't hurt anybody. You're safe."

"I'm not worried about me."

"Shayla is safe too. You can come out now." She bit her bottom lip and trapped the snarky comments she could make She could threaten Evan out of hiding. The kid wouldn't budge for anything. Daniel had tried. Gina had tried. And nothing. Evan's mother was busy tending to her sister and his dad was still patrolling the woods. But, Marianne doubted even his parents would be able to coax Evan out of the closet until he was good and ready to come out.

She was going to have to use a little bit of psychology if she was going to get him out of the closet. Either that or get Tristen to haul him out of there against his will. She'd rather not go to that extreme. "I'll make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if you come out."

Evan's stomach growled. Peanut butter and jelly was his favorite, but not even that could tempt him to leave his closet. He saw where Uncle Carter was through the view screen of his mind's eye. Uncle Carter was in pain. Hungry. Frustrated. Exhausted. Confined. He couldn't hurt anybody, at least nobody but himself. It was a dark, scary place. Evan shivered in the darkness that surrounded him. He was safe in his closet. Godzilla stood century and Spiderman was on point, but still he was frightened.

Uncle Carter was underground, alone in the dark. Nobody would make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Nobody would be there to comfort him. Maybe, he could go see Uncle Carter when he got better. Drawing on the lofty courage of a six-year old boy, Evan stood. "Will you eat one with me?"

Marianne shrugged. "Sure."

"I'm almost seven. I can make my own peanut butter and jelly sandwich," Evan boasted as he slid the closet door open and kicked his way free from a pile of clothes.

"Ok."

"I can make you one too." Evan tangled his fingers through Mouse's, gripping her hand as she led him into the hallway.

"Ok, why not." Marianne led the little boy into the kitchen. Frowning when he climbed on the counter like a monkey and scrabbled through the cabinets for the makings of their sandwiches. He could have used the stool kept in the corner for the little kids. But, no he planted his dirty tennis shoes on the marble counter top leaving footprints everywhere as he stepped in a blob of something sticky on the counter. "You're such an odd little boy."

"I'm not odd. My daddy says I'm unique."

"Ok then," Marianne chuckled. "You're such a very unique little boy."

Evan beamed as he hopped down from the counter and unscrewed the lid off the peanut butter he'd found stashed in the back of the cabinet. This wasn't ordinary peanut butter. This was the good kind with the jelly already mixed in. Although, he had years before he had to worry about girls at all, let alone this one in particular. It was never too early to start making a good impression.

Chapter 45

Jan waddled up the front stairs and made her way across the porch. Frowning as she came into the living room and saw Kacie wrapped up like a mummy on the couch sipping from a hot mug of tea. "Are you sick?"

Kacie shot her sister an imploring look, ignoring her statement of the obvious. She wasn't sick. She had a vampire taking up prime real estate in her head. She scooted over as Jan shoved her legs out of the way and took the seat beside her. Doing all the things nurses do, feeling her forehead, looking into her eyes, assessing her from head to toe, Jan said, "You don't look sick."

"I'm not sick...per se. I've got a vampire problem."

"Oh, Carter. I heard about that." Jan wrinkled her nose in dismay. "Well, he did heal you."

"Um yeah. I wish he'd keep his thoughts to himself."

"That bad?"

"Worse. Carter wants to die. I can sense the darkness and desperation he shrouds himself with. I think he's depressed. Isn't there like vampire Xanax or something Thomas can give him?"

Jan chuckled. "I wish. Sometimes I think they could all use a Valium vacation. Vampires, they're so uptight." She shrugged. Shoving the mug of cooling tea into her sister's hands, she encouraged Kacie to drink. Nana's tea could fix anything. "I guess that's what an extended lifespan will get you. There is a way to break the link with him, if it's bothering you that badly. Drink from another vampire."

"Eeeewwww, no thanks. Having one Prince of Darkness in my head is enough. I'll wait it out. Eventually, the link will fade." Kacie winced as she sipped the cold tea. It was even worse cold than hot. Disdainfully, she set the mug on the table in protest. "I just wish there was something I could do for Carter."

"I think Carter is on his own in this." Jan patted her sister's hand sympathetically. She was eager to change subjects onto something happy rather than all hash over all the unhappiness surrounding Carter. "So, tell me. How's it going between you and the stud muffin?"

"Tristen?" Kacie's lips turned down in a frown. "Mom send you? Did Nash?"

"No, I was just curious that's all. We haven't talked boys in forever."

"There's a reason for that, Jan. We grew up."

"We can still talk boys can't we?" Jan gave her sister a smile that boasted BFF confidentiality. "C'mon spill the beans, Kace." Jan had an ulterior motive for wanting to know the inside scoop on her sister's love life. She hoped to get the ball rolling with a causal conversation about Tristen as a warm up before she got to the topic she really wanted to discuss. She wanted to make sure Kacie and Tristen were being careful.

"Jan, tell me something. Do you believe in love? Real love?"

Jan snickered and waggled her left ring finger under Kacie's nose and patted the bulge that was once her flat stomach. "What do you think?"

Kacie huffed. "Point taken." She stared in amazement at the bulge beneath her sister's sweatshirt. Jan was getting huge. If she didn't have that baby soon, she'd explode. "But, you gave up your wolf for Thomas. Did he make you?"

"Of course not. Thomas is no stranger to the paranormal. I chose to live this way." She smiled and it was a happy, contented smile curving the corners of her mouth. "One happy lifetime with Thomas is worth more to me than a dozen lifetimes as a wolf. He's human, Kacie. He won't live more than a handful of decades. I want to live a long and happy life, have babies, watch them grow up, and us grow old, together."

"That's really sweet, Jan." Kacie leaned closer to her sister and tugged on a stray strand of silver hair tucked into her long dark ponytail. Jerking with a merciless tug, she yanked it out of her scalp and held it under Jan's nose. "See, I found a gray hair already."

"Stop it." Jan playfully huffed and swatted at Kacie's hand away. Yeah, she'd seen a few of those reminders that time stopped for no one in her hair recently too. Pack magic sustained her and slowed the process, but without shifting routinely, she'd started to age at a closer to human rate. The laugh lines inching their way outwards from the corners of her eyes were a bit of a shock. But, she hadn't come here to talk about wrinkles, growing old, or Thomas. "You and Tristen are being careful? Aren't you?"

Kacie let loose a deep sigh. "There's nothing to be careful about. We haven't yet. He believes in this bonding with everything he is. He won't. And I don't want to con him into it if he believes in this so strongly."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. Sometimes, I think so. And then, sometimes, I don't. He drives me nuts. I really want to be with him, more than anything. But, he's just so damned nice. How can I be so selfish and hold back my heart from him like I have? He's offered me everything except the moon and the stars and I think he'd offer them to me too, if he could."

"You sound pretty sure that he loves you."

"Of that, I am sure."

"So, why are you holding back?" Jan asked gently. She didn't want to push her sister too hard. She could see the love that Kacie had for Tristen glimmering in her eyes whenever she so much as mentioned his name. The trick was getting Kacie to step outside of her comfort zone and admit it.

"I guess, I'm just a skeptic," Kacie answered with a shrug.

Jan took Kacie's hand and placed it over her stomach. "Let me tell you. It doesn't get much realer than this. If you love him, don't run. Embrace him and keep hold of him for all you're worth. Love is sacrifice and hard work. Don't let anyone fool you about that. But, it's also the greatest most wonderful thing you'll ever experience. Only you can decide if it's worth it to you or not."

Jan slid out from under her sister's hand and wiggled, with her arms and legs splayed like a bug on its back until she hefted her bulk up off the couch. "I've got to go find mom. I promised to help her pick out her dress today."

"Tell her I'm still sick," Kacie groaned. She'd been ditching her mom for days. Avoiding the inevitable battle over the bridesmaid dress her mother would force her to wear.

Jan chuckled. "She'll get you, eventually. But, in the name of Florence Nightingale, I pronounce you too ill to go shopping today. Enjoy your day off and think about what I've said."

"Thanks, Florence and I will." Kacie burrowed down beneath the warm wool throw and closed her eyes. The rushing waterfall of Carter's thoughts had slowed to a trickle and her mind was her own again. Scowling at the herd of little kids that plopped in front of the TV for afternoon cartoons she stomped up the stairs to her room to escape the noise.

She needed alone time. Kacie time. She passed Tristen's door on the way to her room. The door was open and his room empty, filled with lingering traces of his scent. Wearily, she sank on his bed, resting her head on his pillows and wrapping her body tightly in his covers. She didn't want to think as badly as she thought. Just lying here doing nothing but existing was good. Thinking was too hard for the moment. For now, she simply wanted to be. She'd deal with everything that weighed on her mind later. Much later. She sighed and let her lids fall closed, drifting off to sleep.

Tristen fiddled under the hood, making an adjustment here and there. Listening to the engine respond to his careful touch. If only Kacie was as easy to fix as this old car. He had been reluctant to leave her on the couch. He sensed that she needed some time alone to think. Still, it was hard for him to retreat to the familiar haven of the garage. He rested his forehead on the rim of the open hood and stared at the belts, turning gears, and churning parts moving harmoniously in a synchronized dance. If one part failed, so would the others. Everything had to be in perfect balance in order to make the car work. So it was with Kacie. He was simply getting tired of waiting of making adjustments here and there while things fell into perfect balance.