Dawn's Innocence

Kacie scooted as far from Tristen as the seatbelt would allow. He sat, not across the backseat from her, in the middle seat instead of the far side. He grinned smugly, making all sorts of brownie points with her mom and Nash. She really wasn't that mad. She loved her mom enough to agree to be a bridesmaid and she'd known when she'd signed up for the job, she was going to be stuck wearing some hideous dress as part of the deal. Tristen snuggled up nice and close, finger walking his hand up her thigh and over her stomach to where she had her arms crossed over her chest in a pout. He inched his way down her forearm to her hand and then to her fingertips. She opened her palm and relaxed her hand into his grip. Lacing their fingers together he gave her a squeeze. Nuzzling her cheek, she gave in and let it go and nuzzled him back.

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Chapter 51

Evan wiggled into his pajama bottoms and pulled on the matching Spiderman top. His mom and dad were on wolf patrol tonight and Aunt Shayla was helping him climb into bed. "Aunt Shayla, when can I go visit Uncle Carter?"

Shayla hid back the worry rolling through her mind. Evan was a very intuitive child and if he caught even so much as a hint that she was upset he'd worry too. "I don't know, baby. Uncle Carter isn't feeling very well right now?" Forcing a smile she tucked him beneath the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. Stroking his dark hair in her fingers, she wondered what it would be like, when she could tuck her own son in for the night. "Carter told me to tell you that he misses you very much and he can't wait till he gets better so he can give you piggyback rides again."

Evan smiled up at his aunt and faked a yawn. He knew better than the story she was trying to sell him. Adults were always trying to sugarcoat things they'd rather not tell you the truth about. But, he wasn't going to upset her any more than she already was. "Maybe, if I went to see him, he'd get better faster."

"We'll see in the morning." Shayla said. Giving the same pat answer that every parent gave when they wanted to placate a child, she hated the taste of the lie on the tip of her tongue. She didn't know if Evan was safe around Carter. She wasn't so sure that she was or that perhaps, if he could get free, Carter was safe around himself. "Goodnight, buddy."

Shayla rubbed her stomach as she flipped off the light and looked back at the little boy staring at her through big, round, brown eyes. She couldn't think about her deepest worry. She wouldn't entertain the thought that something might be wrong with her son. Carter's blood ran through her veins and into her baby's. What would be the consequence of her rash decision? No. The decision wasn't rash, she justified. Her choice had been necessary.

She wouldn't let Ramon die for nothing. Her sacrifice of offering her blood and taking Carter's in exchange had been instrumental in rescuing Eloise and saving the pack. She wouldn't regret where the act led her. Seff was dead and her pack was free, freer now than they had ever been in their history. The future was an open book and she'd helped secure a better future for Evan and for her unborn son than they would have had if she hadn't done what she did. There were no more fences holding them in. No more fences holding her back.

Vampires were made, not born. Wolves were born, not made. Her baby had been conceived out of love. Ramon and she had made this baby. His last and most precious gift to her. Carter's blood had touched the baby and flowed inside of the three of them. Carter could sense the presence of her baby's growing consciousness in his mind. And it was that awareness was driving him insane.

He believed himself to be evil. He believed that the goodness and purity he heard whispering in his mind shared no habitation with the inky blackness he clung to. Shayla sensed that the darkness was more of a shield meant to keep others out. He was a good man. She didn't believe otherwise. Others worried too, about how Carter's blood would affect her baby. She'd heard the mutters and felt the sympathetic stares at her growing belly. She couldn't help the dark tendrils of worry that crept beneath the armor of her convictions.

Of course, she was concerned about her unborn child and what he would be when he entered this world. Ultimately, her baby's appearance, fangs or pale skin, didn't matter as long as he grew up into a strong, loving, man. What he ate would never matter as much as who he became. She loved the baby growing in her womb and always would, no matter what happened.

Shayla left Evan's bedroom door cracked open to let just a little light spill in from the hallway. Evan was a self-proclaimed big boy and not afraid of the dark. But, she left the door open just the same. Shayla considered her sister. Ruby had been as proud as any mother could be when she'd delivered a healthy baby boy. She'd believed Evan was perfect. And he was. Ruby shielded her feelings regarding her son. She saw Evan as flawed because of the gift he had no control over. Sometimes, when she thought nobody saw, Shayla caught Ruby practically glaring at Evan, not in disdain but in disappointment.

Hanning saw Evan's gift as a source of wonder and as the blessing it was. Ruby did not. Evan was an adorable little boy burdened by secrets and visions of people, places, and things no little boy should ever know. He was adapting, quick as anyone could under the circumstances. He rarely spoke of the things he saw and knew. He'd learned quickly under his mother's careful instruction to hide what he was.

Ruby had a decidedly more critical view of the world than most. Shayla didn't completely understand why. Ruby had lucked into being mated with a good and worthy male. Sure, Ruby didn't love Hanning, but sometimes, love wasn't what it was all about. Good matings were the result of hard work and commitment. And not everyone was as fortunate as Ramon and she had been to actually love the person you were mated to. It wasn't fair and it hurt her to think this way. But, sometimes she wondered if it was because she and Ramon had loved each other so deeply and everything between them had been so right that their luck had finally run out. Everything came with a price and his death was the price of the short years of absolute happiness they had together and for the life growing inside of her.

Would she trade her son for having her husband back? That wasn't even a thought she should have or a question she should be asking. One life for the other? She would never make that kind of a choice. Her baby was one of the lucky ones conceived and going to be born out of love not duty. Maybe, there was no fairness in the world and shit just happened because it happened. Ramon was gone. Ruby was married to a man she didn't and would never love and Evan was as perfect or imperfect as he was in the eye of the beholder.

Shayla couldn't see herself getting lucky twice in her life. Yes, she loved Carter. She was in love with Carter. She wasn't looking for a replacement for Ramon and Carter wasn't even within the range of her radar as far as possibilities went. She'd bled for him and he, for her and that tied the two of them together in ways that went far beyond the bond of husband and wife. His piercing blue eyes haunted her dreams. And his mind was the stuff of nightmares. But, he was so much more than the sum of her dream and his addled brain. He'd loved deeply and it was that part of them that she was in love with.

Ramon had been the love of her life. He'd been happy, almost foolishly go lucky in his view of the world. His optimism had never ceased to amaze her. But, not even the bases traits of his personality had been enough to spare him from dying for something bigger than himself. She hoped her unborn son would inherit his father's good side and very little of her dimmer view of life. Shayla was a realist to her core. And the mating between Ramon and her had been a good one. His light and her dark had balanced each other out perfectly.

She dreamed of Carter, even imagined him romantically. But, his dark would not lift her up they way Ramon's lightness had. His self-condemnation would drag her down and pull her under the tide like an anchor around her neck. She hadn't been lying when she'd claimed her love for him. She hadn't been exactly honest either, not stating the obviousness of its impossible purposeless. Shayla had a feeling that if she tried to love him in the manner in which he truly deserved. She'd accomplish nothing but letting the waves sweep her out to sea only to bash her to pieces on the jagged rock of the shore. But, if loving him kept him alive, she was willing to admit to it and damn the both of them to the consequences. She'd bleed for him over and over as many times as it took.

Chapter 52

"See mom, the store is closing in ten minutes. You can't possibly shop in ten minutes. We'll have to come back later," Kacie protested as she tugged on Tristen's arm. Her eyes fixed on the ugliest dress she'd ever seen. Hanging in the window, the dress had her name on it. Oh yeah, that would be the one her mom would force her to try on first. She just knew it. The ugly yellow and blue print gown glittered merrily with thousands of sequins and shiny baubles hanging off the plunging neckline that stopped somewhere below, way below the no man's land of good taste.

Eloise charged full steam ahead through the shop door. That dress! It was fantastic, bright yellow satin with swirling patterns in light blue sequins and silver beading. The dress reminded Eloise of a sunshiny, happy day. The neckline, highlighted with exquisite silver hand sewn beadwork would be sure to get call Tristen's attention to her daughters finest assets. She liked Tristen, especially since he'd managed to drag Kacie into the shop for a little look-see. Granted, ten minutes wasn't much. But, she'd never seen a shop keep that wouldn't bend the rules just a little bit of the right kind of encouragement. Especially when a visa platinum card or a wad of cash was thrown on the counter.

Tristen cringed when he saw Kacie's mom trot right to the gaudy dress hanging in the window. He could see the wheels in Eloise's mind turning as she glanced between the dress and Kacie. Eloise fingered the sequined material between her fingers. Maybe forcing Kacie to come to the shop had been a mistake. He looked to his grandpa for a little support and found only more of the same desperation in the old man's return stare. The dress was awful. Gaudy. Too low cut for good taste. And skimpy, designed to hug curves and show off assets a woman should never flash in public.

Nash ducked his grandson's pleading stare. He was all about making Eloise happy, even if it was at Kacie's expense. This wedding business gave him a rash in a most uncomfortable place and he just wanted it behind him. But, that dress, he cringed as Eloise plucked it out of the storefront window and held it up to Kacie's frame. He was every bit as helpless and uncomfortable as Tristen and utterly clueless as to how to coax Eloise to take that dress out and give it the burial it rightfully deserved. "Hanna, have you got time to stick around a few minutes?" He pulled out his wallet and laid a stack of hundreds on the counter indicating he'd make it worth her while to reconsider flipping that sign to closed.

Hanna eyed the wad of bills. Business had sucked all month and that wad was more than she'd seen in the last two weeks. She worried that she was going to have to get a part time job at the Super Center as a night cashier just to stay afloat till things got better. "Oh sure, that's not a problem. What can I help you find?" She asked slipping around the counter. She knew who would be making the selections tonight and it wasn't the scowling young woman but the older version of her, eyes glimmering with a capitalistic gleam.

"I'd like for my daughter to try this on," Eloise said, shoving the dress into the sale's clerk waiting hand. With a flourish she was off, inspecting the store for something else that might happen to catch her eye. "What do you carry in a size?" She glanced at her daughter's curvy frame. A six would fit, but not exactly show the fullness of Kacie's curves and more feminine attributes. "A four? Dresses, something nice and classy for a wedding."

"The bride?" Hanna could smell a big, big sale coming. She sidled in close to the woman with the wallet and ignored the hapless girl destined to wear the yellow dress she'd ordered by mistake. She'd be glad to get that nightmare off her hands.

"Bridesmaid," Kacie grumbled. She took the dress from the shop owner and tromped to the dressing room.

Hanna smoothed her blonde bun, calming the stray pieces of hair into submission. She put on her friendliest smile and ran a arm through Eloise's. Pretending they were BFFs, and as long as the woman had the green, she was her best friend.

Prom season was fast approaching and soon the shop would be filled with teenage drama queens shopping for their dream dress. The investment had been pricey and risky. What she couldn't sell, she'd be stuck with. "And that makes you the bride?" Hannah smiled and congratulated the woman as Eloise blushed, nodded, and beamed in confirmation. "Have you found your dress yet?"

Hanna smiled wider when Eloise frowned and shook her head. "Great!" At first, she'd been disappointed that she couldn't cuddle up on the couch with her cat and watch a little prime time TV. Well, she was over that and her cat could feast on tuna tonight and the night after, assuming the sale she smelled on the wind actually went through. "I just got a new shipment in. I haven't had a chance to get the dresses put out yet. I'd be happy to bring out the ones in your size for a private showing. Luckily, I ordered a bunch of small sizes this year." A complement about Eloise's figure couldn't hurt. "By the way, I do custom alterations too."

Nash nodded in approval as he wound his way to the front of the store. He didn't want to hang out in a women's clothing store and watch Eloise try on dress after dress. Being surrounded by all the trappings of womanhood made him uncomfortable. He frowned at the table stacked high with lacy, satiny, bras and panties and other unmentionable things. "It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride's dress before the wedding. I think I'll go next door and grab a coffee while you shop." He pecked Eloise on the top of her head and slipped out of the store as fast as his feet would carry him. Great excuse. She'd bought it without hardly any effort on his part. He exhaled a grateful sigh and did as he said and headed for the coffee shop.

Tristen stifled a snicker when Kacie threw back the curtain and begrudgingly modeled the yellow and blue sequin nightmare for her mother. He didn't mind the revealing neckline and visible slope of her breasts. But, and he was a guy, that dress was truly horrid. He bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"Mom, I look like a stick of Juicy Fruit," Kacie whined. She tugged the neckline up to a respectable height and wiggled the tight dress down her hips. The yellow sequins were blinding and made only worse by the splashes of blue. The dress was too long and the silver beading dragged the floor. She was practically naked, her boobs falling out of the plunging neckline. The dress's satin liner was stiflingly hot and itchy. And she just knew this was the dress her mother was going to insist on.

Eloise studied Kacie in the dress. Yellow was not a flattering color for Kacie and the neckline, judging by Tristen's appreciative stare was way too low. "Ok. So the dress looked better in the window," she begrudgingly admitted. Flipping through the racks Hannah had hastily thrown together. A royal blue dress in Kacie's size caught her eye.

The dress was simple and uncomplicated, a soft, flowing, taffeta knee length empire wasted gown that gathered into folds below the bust line and at the shoulders. The dress made of layers of soft, lightweight gauzy fabric. Studded with dozens of tiny crystals embedded into the bodice and full skirt that caught the light and shimmered with every move of the dress. Eloise's mouth formed into a little O when she saw a dress, exactly the same and in the right size, but in an emerald green that would perfectly match Kacie's eyes and the engagement ring on her finger. "Would you mind?" Eloise asked Kacie imploringly.

Kacie rolled her eyes. "Sure." She peeled herself out of the yellow sequins and itchy satin, resisting the urge to kick the dress under the dressing room wall and into the next stall where hopefully it wouldn't be found...like ever. The new dress wasn't half bad...for a dress.

The green fabric was a bright jewel tone emerald. Kacie had a little trouble zipping up the back, but finally managed. The color did wonders for her tanned skin, dark hair, and green eyes. The shorter length didn't overwhelm her and make her look three times shorter and wider than she actually was. She dress had enough room for her to deep breathe and bend over to touch her toes. The cut was flattering for her figure. The sweetheart neckline and the empire waist highlighted her small breasts and made her curvy waist look tiny. The shoulders were gathered and held in place with crystal pins that caught the light, as did the crystals embedded into the flowing skirt and bodice. She could do this dress. Well, she could survive it. But, she'd never tell her mother that. Otherwise it'd end up in the reject pile and she'd be forced into the yellow dress from hell.

The bells tied to the front door of the shop jingled. Announcing another customer had come into the shop. "Hanna!" A melodic voice called through the empty shop. "Are you still open?"

Eloise groaned at the sound of that melodic shriek. Only one person's voice she knew of could sound so annoying and so musical at the same time. Janine. Surrounded by a cloud of expensive perfume and the sweet smell of vampire, Janine gracefully wound through the maze of racks to the back of the store. Eloise forced a smile. She wasn't necessarily glad to see Janine. She wasn't looking forward to explaining why she hadn't called her to enlist her aid with the wedding. And really had no way of explaining it even if she had one hell of an explanation to tell.

"Eloise! Where have you been girrrrlll?" Janine rushed toward the wolf and gave her a big hug and a double kiss-kiss on each cheek. Eloise was the same as always, poised, hesitant, and so reserved that sometimes Janine had to wonder if the woman ever showed any emotions at all. The loose waterfall of Eloise's dark hair and the casual clothes and light makeup were an improvement over the stuffy, although high quality Channel business suits and the expensive dress to impress wardrobe she used to wear. It was ok to dress as if you had money...when you did. It was quite another thing to flaunt it when you didn't need to. Eloise did both. Well, she had done both until falling in with the pack. Nash had done wonders for Eloise. "We haven't had a chance to catch up since...forever!"

Eloise unwound Janine's arms from her neck and smiled at the vampire's enthusiastic greeting. Janine was little, but she was powerful. Her look was deceptive. She had a tiny designer jean clad body and a fluff of curly blonde hair. No one would suspect that she was anything else but makeup and girly girl, until they pissed her off. She possessed preternatural strength and speed, not to mention that she could drain a victim dry in less than a minute. "I've been so busy since I got back," Eloise stammered. "The fault is mine. Please, forgive me."

"Of course. There's nothing to forgive." Janine pressed a hand to her heart and batted her lashes. "Moving is so stressful. I haven't forgotten." The rack of prom dresses Hanna rolled out of the back room quickly diverted her attention. She had no use for a frilly prom dress, but she loved, loved loved to look and pretend she was sweet sixteen again. Best days of her life. Well, not the best, but definitely nothing compared to pretending to be a princess for a night. "Prom dresses!" Janine pawed through the rack of satin and lace with a dreamy expression on her face. "I remember my senior prom. What a night! So tell me what have you been up to?"