Dawn's Innocence

Guilt tore at his gut. It seemed like anymore, guilt was his constant companion. Looking out across the sea of brown eyes and concerned expressions, he felt the impact of his father's actions. Thinking of Erica enduring the last ten years alone, had him wincing in pain at his own indiscretions. He should have tried to find her sooner than he had. She knew nothing of him or his father. He was the one who bore that shame and fear for so long. If he had reached out to her sooner, while his father had been alive, she and the child would have been dead. Leaving her on her own had been so much easier than standing against his father. And that was his greatest shame.

Luckily, Jan was brave enough to stand up to his father and the whole pack institution. She wasn't willing to settle for a loveless marriage or breeding for the sake of ensuring her position in the pack and furthering her royal bloodline. He owed her for her courage. Courage he never had. He would have married her, although the marriage would have been a complete farce. He would never father any more children. After his father murdered the two he'd discovered. Torr had taken all precautions against it.

He would find the courage necessary to face Erica and tell her the truth. He had to. His daughter was of his line, and she carried the burden of his curse. In twelve or thirteen short years, the curse would come to fruition and she would have her first shift. He would step up to the plate and be the father he'd never had. His daughter would never be brokered to the best bloodline or used to ensure the family's position in the pack. Never.

Kacie shivered back into her body. Scrambling weakly to her feet as she shook off the confusion that came with the shift. For some reason, it always took a few minutes for her brain to catch up with where her wolf had left her. Her limbs throbbed with jolts of pain as muscles and tendons adjusted to the longer human legs. Her skin ached as it stretched over her curvy human torso. The world wavered around her. A little like being stuffed into a dome or a thick plastic box with the lid shut tightly. Tristen's wolf trembled beside her as he struggled to regain his human form.

Watching him transform into the familiar figure of the man she loved was a truly amazing sight. Limbs lengthened and shed their covering of thick fur. Rich russet toned skin molded over the muscular calves and thighs. His chest expanded and contracted in deep breaths, taking in all the air it could hold as blunt teeth took replaced pointy incisors. Chocolate brown eyes stared up at her and the sexy grin was back. She averted her eyes from the obvious effect her naked body had on him and met his stare.

Tristen stood and cracked his back. His body was an array of various aches and pains. Shifting always made him hurt. He shook it off and brushed a bit of stray grass out of his hair. The pressure in his groin demonstrated his awareness of the woman standing naked in front of him. Waking up to her was always going to stir this kind of reaction, no matter how many times he saw her in the natural. His biggest concern was that they were both on camera and obviously being watched. Her body was not up for a viewing and neither was his. He pressed a hand to the automatic reader and waited for the hidden door to whoosh open.

The vampires were almost puritanical in their views regarding nudity. Tristen was not disappointed to find a variety of clothing neatly stacked on shelves right inside the entryway. He grabbed a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, thrusting them in Kacie's hands and selected a set for himself.

He felt better now that they were both dressed. "You ready?"

Kacie took a deep breath and nodded. She'd feel a whole lot better once she saw Jan and the baby, healthy, happy, and whole.

"C'mon babe, give me a big push." Thomas's fingers trembled as he spotted the first sight of his daughter emerging from the birth canal. The top of her tiny head was covered with fine black down. So far, so good, everything was going as normally as he could hope for. Both his wife and his baby girl were doing just fine. "She's got dark hair like you."

Claire split her attention between monitoring Jan and the baby's vital signs while hoisting mama up for another push. "We're almost there."

"Easy for you to say." Jan sucked in a breath and bore down. Pushing with everything she had. She liked being on the other side of the table so much better than being on this side. Her body burned with exhaustion. The pain was one constant searing roar.

Claire snickered. "Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. When you can get off that table. You can kick my ass. Until then just concentrate on breathing and pushing."

Jan exhaled and panted, "I can't, I can't do this."

"Yes you can. Just one more push!" Thomas gently eased his fingers around his daughter's head. Helping to inch her out of the narrow confines of her mother's womb. He was touching his daughter. Touching. His. Daughter. He felt the warm soft skin through his gloves and the spark of new life struggling to be born. He blinked through his tears of joy as the head slid free. Cradling his beautiful baby girl's tiny head in his palm, he cleaned out her mouth and nose. Smiling at the healthy pink face and rose-colored cheeks, "She's beautiful," he gasped in awe.

Jan clutched at the sheet covering her and pushed, finding one last burst of energy. Her daughter slid free with Thomas's help. She had never heard a more glorious sound than her baby's first cries. She eased back on the bed and blew out a thankful breath. She heard the snick of scissors cutting through the cord and caught the first glimpse of her daughter, Barbara Eloise, as Thomas carried her to the incubator for a quick inspection.

"She's perfect. Absolutely perfect," Thomas exhaled in relief. He turned the care of his newborn daughter to Claire as he tended to his wife. "We did it." Jan's knee was hard against his cheek. He rested his head against the bony surface and blinked back tears, overwhelmed by the miracle of life.

"Mama, you want to see your baby?" Claire beamed as she handed over the tiny, soft bundle to Jan.

Thomas wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders. Together they stared down at the tiny life squirming in the tangle of wrappings. He pressed a kiss to Jan's forehead and touched his finger to his lips, gently brushing the tip of his daughter's nose with the pad of his finger.

Claire busied herself, straightening the room and putting things back in order. There was a family on the other side of the door anxious for news, but they'd wait a few more minutes. This time was for Jan, Thomas, and their beautiful baby girl. Once Jan had time to catch her breath. Then Thomas could go out and make the big announcement while she helped Jan into a fresh gown and a clean bed. She smiled at the happy couple and slipped into the office to give them some privacy.

Jan squeaked as Barbara Eloise latched hungrily onto her nipple. Wolf infants were especially voracious and her little girl was no exception. Her daughter rooted eagerly and drank her first meal enthusiastically. Her little fingers curled and relaxed. "She looks like you."

"I think she looks like you," Thomas said. Amazed by the tiny fingers and delicate wisps of lashes brushing against perfectly round, rosy cheeks. He was ready to try for number two, but he'd save the question for later. Once Jan had a chance to recover and his heart settled back into his chest. "I'd better make our big announcement."

Jan braced herself for the onslaught of well wishers. The only people she really wanted to see were her mom and Kacie. "Bring it on." As much as she vowed not to be one of those mothers, she clutched her daughter tighter in her arms. Grinding her teeth at the thought of anyone besides her or Thomas touching her little girl.

Thomas threw open the door, greeted by a sea of eager eyes and faces. "It's a girl. A perfectly healthy baby girl!" He grinned as the sounds of joyous whoops and shouts echoing down the corridors. The air whooshed out of his lungs as a well meaning pack mate pounded him on his back in congratulations. He was going to have a few bruises from that. "Eloise, Kacie, Jan wants to see you."

Eloise was already at the door, pushing past Thomas with Kacie in tow. "Oh! She's beautiful!" Eloise quickly withdrew her extended hand as Jan growled defensively. She understood. Wolf mamas didn't let anyone around their newborns. She'd even gone as far as to bite her ex mother-in-law when Kacie was born and looking back, that hadn't been a bad thing.

Kacie sighed in relief. Determined to keep the 'baby fever' at bay, she wasn't going to fall into that trap so soon. NO WAY! Motherhood was so not in her immediate plans. Tristen was. But, she wanted time to adjust to the newness of love before she took the big plunge and became a mom. "She's cute," Kacie said nonchalantly.

Cute? Her kid was the most beautiful kid in the whole world. Jan exchanged a knowing glance with her mom. They both noticed the ring on Kacie's left ring finger at the same time. Kacie and Tristen would make wonderful parents. Their turn in here would come soon enough.

"We're going to postpone the wedding for a while." Eloise itched to hold that baby. Nothing smelled as good as a new baby. And she was practically rippling in anticipation to snuggle with her granddaughter. Jan's baby had her mother's soft black hair and up tilted nose. Definitely, she had inherited more than her share of wolf genes. Eloise smiled down at Jan knowingly. After a few weeks of feedings in the middle of the night and diaper changes, Jan would be more than willing to share some of the responsibility with Grandma. Grandma! Eloise blinked back tears at how good that word sounded.

"No you're not. Everything is ready. You go ahead and have your dream wedding," Jan protested. "I'll ask someone to set up a web cam. It'll be like I'm there. I won't miss a thing."

"Jan's right, mom. Have your big day."

"I don't know. What if you need help?" Eloise bit her bottom lip in doubt.

"Thomas is here. He might as well get used to being a daddy now."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," Jan nodded.

Kacie grinned at Tristen as she and her mom left the room. Barbara, Doc, and Mack brushed past, eager for their turn to greet the baby.

"Well?"

Kacie shrugged, "It's a baby."

"Just an ordinary baby?" Tristen pulled her into his embrace. He knew his Kacie too well. She protested too much. That little girl already had her hooks so far into Kacie's hide it was almost comical. He'd seen that glint in a woman's eye before. Baby fever spread like a virus.

"Ok, so the kid is cute as a damned button. So what?" She glanced up at Tristen, noticing the gleam in his brown eyes. His fingers skated over her flat belly as if he could imagine it swollen with his baby. "Don't even think it, buster."

Tristen chuckled. He was only teasing. He'd just now worked his way into Kacie's heart and her bed. He wasn't ready or willing to give up their couple time just yet. "I think we need lots more practice time between the sheets before we make a baby."

"I couldn't agree more." Kacie elbowed him in the ribs and walked nestled in the crook of his arm down the hall.

Tears streamed out of Barbara's eyes as she hugged Thomas. Her namesake was the most beautiful baby she'd ever seen. Her granddaughter had her daddy's little pug nose. Jan instinctively wouldn't let her get close to the baby. Thomas was going to have to work on that. But, just seeing little Barbara Eloise was enough for now.

Mack patted Thomas on the back. His grandson had done good. The baby was the spitting image of her father, definitely took after his side of the family. A great grandchild. He didn't think he'd live to see the day. He already had a pink rod and reel sitting in a corner of the garage waiting for her to grow old enough to use it. "Congratulations, son."

"We'd better let Jan get some rest," Thomas said as he ushered the well meaning trio out of the room.

"You get some rest too, honey." Barbara hugged her son again and stifled another deluge of tears.

Thomas smiled after them and closed the door, grateful that the hall had cleared of visitors. His face hurt from smiling so much. He wanted to crawl into the rocker beside Jan's bed and be a dad. Cuddle the little bundle in his arms, give the doctor part of himself the day off, and enjoy just being a dad.

"I've been hogging our daughter," Jan said as Thomas locked the door behind him. "You want to hold her?"

Thomas nodded and eased the bundle out of Jan's arms. Collapsing into the soft cushioned rocker, he spoke softly to his daughter as he rocked. Life was filled with challenges and trials, but for the moment, life was good, so very, very good.

Chapter 76

Kacie slouched over her coffee. Last night had been painfully long and definitely beyond stressful. Her sister and the baby were fine, resting comfortably, according to the last report from Claire. Whatever "resting comfortably" meant exactly. Her mother had come pounding on Tristen's door at nine this morning, frantic about the final preparations for her big day. Had she really encouraged her mom to go ahead with the wedding instead of putting it off till Jan was back at the wheel?

She felt her mother's eyes fixed on the ring on her left ring finger. Eventually, the questions would come, if not today, soon enough. "Mom, quit staring." Kacie ordered, slugging down the thick dark life giving brew in her mug.

"Am I really to lose another daughter so soon? I think I'm going to enjoy being a grandmother, but I'd hoped you'd wait at least till Little Eloise is out of diapers." Eloise slid a look at her daughter from the rim of her coffee mug.

"Mom, Tristen and I aren't planning to get married anytime soon. And there certainly are not any babies on the way. Sorry to disappoint you so much." Kacie was being grouchy and overly touchy about the subject of her love life. As far as she was concerned, the topic wasn't up for discussion. Her mom didn't deserve the company of such a bitch on her special day. Kacie pasted a smile on her lips and sighed into the last remaining draughts in her mug. 'Today is all about you, mom, not me."

"You're right. I'll get the dirt on you and Tristen later. So, if you're not getting married, are you and Tristen just going to shack up?"

"Shack up?" Slang from her mother? "Yeah, that's the plan. Hope we don't keep everybody up all night with our wild sexapades." Her mother scowled disapprovingly. Ok, she'd crossed the line. She knew it. She just kept digging a hole deeper and deeper. "Mom, we only got engaged last night. There hasn't been time to set a date or anything. I'm still trying to adjust to the idea...I never believed in love before."

"Isn't it grand?" Eloise gasped. Beaming at her daughter. Kacie went down fighting, a cynic to the bitter end. "I love being in love. I love waking up every morning to the man of my dreams. I love closing my eyes and having his face be the last thing I see for the day."

Kacie suppressed an eye roll and wondered if it was too late to sneak off and hide somewhere till the wedding was over. Nope. Her mom had her firmly in her greedy talons. There was no escape.

"We've got to make tracks. Only four hours till the ceremony starts. We have plenty left to do." Eloise dragged Kacie onto her feet and pulled her to the front door. "We want to be beautiful for our men."

"Yeah." Kacie scowled at the wide stairwell leading up to the room she'd began sharing with Tristen. Shacking up, she shook her head. He was tucked into the bed sound asleep and she was down here being dragged off by Bridezilla herself. Goodie, four hours of primping and pasting makeup on her face. She couldn't wait. Oh well, she could stomach the dress and the hose, the shoes, and the layers of makeup for one day.

"Janine has offered to help with the makeup and hair." Eloise pressed the automatic locks as she started the SUV. No way was she going to let Kacie get away now.

Kacie shuddered. Janine would fuss and primp until there wasn't an inch of skin that hadn't been covered by a layer of makeup or so much as a tuft of hair out of place. Victimized by a vampire armed with hair gel and lip gloss. Sounded like a great time. NOT. "Mom, do you really hate me that much?"

"Oh come on, this is the last time we'll get to spend together as single women. In four hours, I'll be just another bored, ordinary housewife. Indulging me a little won't hurt you a bit. It'll be fun. Just the girls." Eloise backed out and slid the SUV into drive.

Kacie saw the curtains flutter in the second story window. Tristen stared down at her, grinning. So he had been awake after all. She rolled down the passenger side window and shot him the bird as the SUV pulled away.

Tristen chuckled and slid the curtain back into place. He flopped on the bed and rolled over to Kacie's side. Grinning at the thought they had assigned sides of the bed. How cute was that? He pressed her pillow against his face and inhaled of her lingering scent. His woman. Someday, soon, she'd be his wife. She'd said yes, but he wasn't going to push his luck. It was too soon for that. Right now, he'd have to be content with what she had to offer. Sit back and enjoy the ride, let her decide when the time was right to take the plunge. For now, he was damned happy and grateful for what he had.

"Come in." He could hear the rustle of denim and breathing on the other side of his closed door.

"Damn boy. Room smells like a chick has been in here," Daniel teased. He knew Kacie spent most of her time holed up in the room with his brother. "So?"

"So what?"

"Mouse and I did exactly as you commanded, master, and we expect payment." Daniel held out his palm. His brother had been so busy nursemaiding Kacie that he'd offered twenty bucks apiece if he and his little sister went over and cleaned up the cabin. No problem. A load of laundry and a few passes with a mop and a scrub brush and the place was sparkling clean.

Tristen dug a twenty out of his wallet and slapped it in his brother's greedy palm. "I'll give Mouse her share personally."

"Don't trust me to give it to her?"

"I'm not an idiot." Tristen tucked the wallet back into his jeans pocket.

"Well. How was it?" He and his brother had a pact. Tristen vowed that when he finally got some, he'd share all the gory details. Daniel wanted the inside scoop.

"I don't kiss and tell."

"From the look of the bed, a lot more than kissing went on in that cabin."

"So."

"Spill it. Or are you going to back out on our deal?"

"Dan, my man, there are no words to describe it. Making love is like eating a chocolate chip cookie straight out of the oven and watching a blizzard rage outside. You're all warm and toasty, buzzed from the sugar and the taste of chocolate lingering in your mouth. Damn, that's all I can say... damn."

"Shit. I've suddenly got a craving for Toll House cookies. That good 'eh?"

"Better."

Daniel pounded his forehead on the bedpost. "I wish I was older." His brother got all the good stuff in life while he was stuck watching from the cheap seats in the bleachers. Life wasn't fair.

"Don't rush out there and terrorize every girl in town, Dan. The longer you wait, the better it is."

"Now you sound like dad."

Tristen shrugged. Sometimes the old man had a few good words of advice. "Sorry, but, he's right on this one."

"Damn man, you're killing me." Daniel stuffed the twenty in his back pocket. Being sixteen almost seventeen sucked. Time seemed to crawl by almost at a standstill. He wouldn't shift for at least another three or four years. He only got to drive when somebody lent him a car. He had no girlfriend and no prospects. And now, thanks to Mr. Analogy, he couldn't even enjoy a chocolate chip cookie in peace. He could not wait to grow up.