Dawn's Shadow

Anna was obliviously asleep in Patrick's arms. The wound on the back of her scalp would bruise and be tender for a while. But, there was no real harm done. The dark circle of fingerprints around her throat would heal Chris was shaky, appalled by what she'd almost done to her best friend. The two women were bonded in a way he'd never understand. Good sense should keep them apart. But, he doubted either one of them, while they wouldn't forget the incident, would forgive it, in time.

He should have let Chris have her phone back and keep in contact with Anna. Trying to force her to disappear was the worst thing he could have done. It drove Anna here into harm's path. And it drove Chris past the point of her control. He'd made a terrible mistake and misjudged them both. Chris had done very well today. She hadn't controlled her hunter. But, her love for Anna had stopped her from killing. Somehow, he doubted Chris would ever believe a word of praise from his lips. Instead, he planted a kiss on the top of her and steered her out of the alley. "Let's get you home."

"Wait." Chris dug her feet in firmly and glanced over her shoulder. She felt back in control now. The smell of the blood in the alley didn't tempt her at all. It made her stomach pitch and roll. The sight of Anna unconscious and bleeding served as a reminder of what the devil inside of her truly was capable of doing. "What about Anna?"

"Patrick will take care of her."

"This is all my fault. I let you down. I could have killed her." Chris squeezed her eye shut, holding back tears of regret she had no right to cry.

"No. It was an accident. This was my fault. I failed you. I didn't protect you like I promised to." Dane cupped Chris's face in his hands, running his thumbs along her lashes wiping away the tears. "I am sorry, Chris. I shouldn't have put you through this."

"Up we go." Patrick lifted Anna in his arms, carefully cradling her head against his shoulder. He smiled at Chris and winked. "No harm done. She'll be fine. I won't say she isn't going to be a little pissed at you when she wakes up though."

He nodded to Dane. "Robbie is getting the house ready and John Mark is on his way to pick us up. It'll be better to keep her there than in the mines. No need to have her any more freaked out than she already is."

"Agreed," Dane said with a curt nod. "Leave her asleep until I figure out something to do about her. Have Mack watch her tonight. I want you and the brothers back as soon as possible."

"On it boss," Patrick said. Carrying Anna to the back of the narrow alley and ducked into the shadows to wait for John Mark. Even in her sleep she tried to fight the weight of his spell. Her pale eyebrows furrowed into a line of resistance and she stirred in his arms for a moment before slipping back under his influence. She was a strong willed, pushy little thing. Everything about her, from her perfect, pale blond hair free of as much as one split end to the tips of her designer boots screamed control freak.

Tall and willowy she reminded him of the trees that grew along the river's edge. The trees were deceptively fragile in their appearance, spindly even. In the late spring, when the storms tore across the land and pounded the hell out of bigger, stouter trees, reducing them to toothpicks, the willowy, bendable trees flexed in the wind and bowed beneath the torrential downpours, stubbornly holding fast to their sandy perches along the bank.

Anna was a part of their world now, even if she didn't realize it yet. And Patrick had to wonder if she'd bend and flex like the trees that grew along the river's banks or if she'd be too rigid and unbendable like the majestic hardwoods of the forest, and the storm would break her in two.



Chapter 31

The ride back to the mines was awkwardly silent. Chris shifted uncomfortably in her seat and stared out at the endless stretch of flat, barren farmland. How could she have done that to her best friend? Shamed by how she Anna had been reduced to nothing more than prey. Turning her head, she glanced at Dane out of the corner of her eye. "Have you ever done anything like that? Been tempted?"

Dane let off the gas and slowed for a sharp curve in the road. "I was kept away from humans for a very long time afterwards. You've had to learn everything I took years to master in a matter of days." He straightened the wheel and pressed his foot down on the accelerator once the worst of the winding, twisting back road gave way to a straight shot into the depths of the dense cover of the woods. "Even with all my training, there were still temptations." Tilting his head to look at Chris, he said, "There still are."

"Still?" Chris asked in doubt. How was she supposed to learn to control herself if the temptation would always be with her? The hardness of Dane's jaw and his steely expression told her everything his words did not. He fought his demons like the warrior he was. Everyday.

"The temptation never goes away. Our bodies need blood. It is an unfortunate, unavoidable fact of this life. The hunter is always with us, within us all, pacing and growling, doing what it does best, stalk the prey. The trick to it is to control your hunter before it controls you.

"We stalk the animals in the woods to placate the hunter. We fill our hunter's stomach with the blood of the willing. And, eventually, we come to an uneasy peace with the beast. It's all about balance, Chris. Learning to take just enough without taking too much."

Absently, Chris nodded her head. What Dane said, in theory, made sense. Today had been a very important one. Filled with lessons she'd never forget. The scent of Anna's terror and the horror in her eyes would haunt Chris forever. She hated that part of herself that could kill so easily, so coldly, and so heartlessly. Temptation wasn't a double fudge chocolate brownie. Giving in didn't mean a couple of unwanted pounds. Those days were gone. Now, if she caved to temptation, somebody died. "Balance," she sighed wistfully.

********

Janine found Alex exactly where she thought she would. Bundled up to her eyeballs in a scarf and a thick, down coat. She eased the car into park and snatched up the fast food bags from the passenger seat beside her. The food was ice cold by now. But, Happy burgers were even better when the grease had a little time to congeal on the bun and the fries got a little soggy.

She tried to force the upsetting thoughts out of her head. This would be the last time her friend would eat such a delicacy as the Happy Burger Deluxe. Ever. She picked her way across the wet, slippery layer of fall's decaying leaves and silently stood beside Alex waiting for her to tear her stare away from Lucien's dismal, granite headstone. "Look if you're still mad about Thanksgiving."

"Of course not. Don't be ridiculous," Alex retorted. She glanced up at the fast food bag clutched in Janine's hand. Not disappointed, she half-expected her best friend to come looking for her. Alex had been out here all day, shivering in the cold, soaking up the all too human sensation of goose pimples on her skin. Her stomach growled with the smell from the bag.

The thought of trying to eat nauseated her. She had too much on her mind to think about food. But, she didn't want to ruin her last few minutes with Janine. The next time she saw her best friend, she might want to eat her. "Thanks," she said, taking Janine's peace offering from her hand.

Reaching inside she fished out a fry, cold and stiff, and very salty and greasy, her favorite way to eat them. Chewing and forcing the bite down, she smiled at Janine and thought about all the times they'd shared together. Some were good. Some were bad. And some just were. Simple things, like laughing at one another's lame jokes. Crying on one another's shoulders. Sharing one another's too lofty dreams. Alex crumpled the bag in her fist and sighed. "Sorry, I'm not very hungry. I guess I'm too nervous to eat," she said, shrugging.

Janine looked up at the sky. The day was almost over. Already, the light was fading in to dim shades of gray. Alex was so brave. Putting on a composed calm front. She would have been bawling, hiding under the covers, a bundle of nerves. She understood all too well. She had the same thoughts herself. What if she had to make the choice to remain human or join Patrick forever? Which would she choose? And what if she had to go on without him? Would she be able to do it? Would she want to? "Are you scared?"

Alex nodded. "Terrified." There was no point to lie to Janine. Not when there was so little time left. She shivered, suddenly feeling fragile and way too human. "Why don't we pamper ourselves a little? Have a spa date. I'll even let you do my hair, if you want."

Janine smiled and nodded in agreement. There was no need to elaborate on Alex's fears. It wouldn't change them or her mind. She could have spent the remainder of the fleeting time they had left trying to convince Alex to put off the ceremony. A day. A week. A month. Hell, even a year. And it wouldn't make any difference. Alex was still going to go through with it.

Instead Janine snickered at the thought of trying to tame Alex's mid length mane of unruly auburn tangles into obedience. "Girl, that mop needs a weed whacker. There's only so much even one as great as myself can do." She snatched Alex into a bear hug and squeezed her tightly. "I'll miss you." This was the last time she'd ever be able to get this close to her best friend without her trying to take a bite out of her for a very long time.

Alex hugged Janine back with all her might. It was as if they were saying goodbye for the last time. And maybe they were.

Alex pulled free of Janine's hug and took a deep breath. Inhaling the rich scent of pine and frost on the air, she held the breath in her lungs. She glanced at Lucien's tombstone one last time and smiled. She would see him again. A lot later than she'd planned. But, someday, their time would come. In the mean time, in the present, it was time to focus on the living and not the dead. For now, she was still alive and one hundred percent human. She'd better enjoy the feeling, memorize it, and live while she still could.

Chapter 32

Dane paced in nervous circles, sensing the moment the sun dipped under the horizon. "Damn," he muttered, dragging his hand through the black spikes of his hair. So far he'd managed to push his thoughts about the ceremony to the back of his mind. He couldn't put them off any longer. It was time. Undressing, he dragged his t-shirt over his head, exposing his tattoo covered back.

Chris watched Dane and sensed his dread. Her facial expression jumped from one of concern to one of awe as Dane paced the room like a caged lion and then began to strip. She heard whispers here and there. Something big was going down tonight. Dane just hadn't told her what. "Dane, I'm really enjoying the view. But, could you clue me in here?"

Dane tugged the jeans down his thighs, wiggling out of them and leaving them in a heap on the floor. "Induction ceremony," he explained tersely. Tying the soft brown leather straps of his loincloth in place, he glanced at Chris and exhaled slowly through his nose. Even her presence, which usually infused him with calm wasn't enough to soothe him tonight.

He'd watched dozens of vampires be born. It was a relatively simple procedure. Bite...drink...drain. But, it was the simplicity of it that was so dangerous. Alex would die tonight. Permanently, if he fucked up and didn't time things just right. He'd drink till her heart beat one final time. And then, at that moment, the split second when her soul hovered between life and death, he'd give her his blood. And pray. Pray hard that his blood was enough. That it'd bring her back.

Chris's brows furrowed as she tried to understand what Dane was talking about. "You mean someone?" She couldn't even finish the question. Her fingers went to the half-moon shaped scar on her neck and massaged the puckered skin. Tonight someone was going to voluntarily give away what had been so savagely taken from her. There were some benefits to this life. But, none that trumped being human. And if she'd been given the choice, she would have never chosen this. "I thought you said that was dangerous."

"It is," Dane sighed. The heavy, gold medallion hung around his neck like a noose. How did Lucien do it? Lead these men, protect these people, and shoulder the responsibilities of life and death without buckling under the pressure. He took a deep breath and lifted his eyes to stare at his reflection in the warped glass of the mirror. He still looked like himself. Young. Strong. Unchanged. It was only in his eyes that he saw the man he'd become. Weighted by the burden of all the things he could not change and even if he could, would not. This was his job. His duty. And there was no other choice but to do it.

Chris walked over to Dane and stood behind him, wrapping her arms around the breadth of his chest. She rested her cheek on his back and gently pressed her lips to the tattoo. Beneath her palms she felt the steady beating of his heart. He didn't want the burden placed on his shoulders. But, he carried it anyway. Gradually, he relaxed in her arms and exhaled a long, drawn out sigh of relief. Patting her hand, he slid free from her embrace and turned to give her a soft peck on the tip of her nose. "It's time," he said, taking her hand.

*******

"Alex, its time." Alexander knocked on the bedroom door, interrupting the nervous on the other side. He took in a deep breath and gripped the doorjamb with his fingers. There were so many things he wanted to say to his baby girl. But, he wouldn't say them. It felt too much like saying goodbye.

Gingerly, Alex opened the door. And Alexander looked at his daughter. The white fur ceremonial robe hung in loose folds dragging the floor as she walked. The red sheen of her hair stood out in contrast to the pristine white, like blood on snow, peeking out from beneath the massive hood covering her head. He slid the hood back, cupping her face in his hands. He'd wanted nothing more than to protect her from this life. Save her from making this choice. He'd failed to keep her safe. From the first time he'd held her in his arms, so small and fragile, and stared down into those big, brown eyes, he'd known then and there, that destiny had something big in store for her. "Let me look at you," he said, taking in his daughter's beautiful face and staring into her deep, soulful human eyes one last time.

Leigh fluttered around Alex like a humming bird hovered around a beautiful, bright blossom. Tugging and straightening the hood, she walked between Alex and Alexander to the barn. She smiled at John Mark. And prepared to turn her daughter over to his care, to let her go one last time. He was decked out in all a warrior's finery, standing tall and proud. Breaking tradition and the warrior's stern exterior, he grinned back, crookedly and boyishly.

There was one tradition that would never be broken. Alex had to make this journey without them. Silently, John Mark helped Alex onto Jack's back and took the reins. He slid up onto the horse behind her and latched an arm around her waist to keep her from falling.

Leigh stared up at her daughter, squeezing and reluctantly opening her fingers to release her hand. Leigh was one of quiet grace and dignity. She would not cry. She would not beg Alex to change her mind. She would not make this last moment any harder than it had to be for any of them. With a smile, she stepped back and found Alexander's hand. Latching on to his fingers she held them and held back the pain of looking at her little girl turned woman sitting on the horse's back ready to ride out to meet her destiny.

Alexander had always shared a secret language with his daughter. He reached up to give Jack a smack on the hind quarters to get him going and shared one last, bitter, agonizing smile with Alex. Delivering a hard swat on Jack's butt, he stepped back, lest the horse stomp on his foot in retaliation, and took Leigh's hand. Her fingers found his, trembling and desperate, she squeezed his hand so hard it hurt and his fingertips went numb.

Jack chomped at his bit and exhaled horse breath into the frosty atmosphere. At a leisurely pace he trotted out of the barn carrying his precious cargo, their daughter. Alexander stood there, with Leigh, helplessly watching Alex disappear into the darkness. He'd tried to interfere with destiny and it had almost cost Alex everything she was. This time, he accepted what he couldn't change and let her go.

Once Alex was out of sight, he pulled Leigh to his chest and held her tightly. Out of all the things they'd done wrong over the years, Alex was the one thing they'd gotten right. He guided Leigh to the beat up pick up truck and helped her inside. Tonight, they'd be there at the bluffs, watching and waiting, praying they hadn't said goodbye for good and their daughter would still be their daughter.

Janine finished putting away the plethora of beauty supplies and flipped off the lights in Alex's bedroom. Alex was going to be the best-looking baby vampire the Sons had ever seen. She'd taken her time to give Alex's eyes a smoky, dramatic effect and highlighted her cheeks to perfection. She brushed Alex's hair until it shone like garnets and pinned it up off her neck, to make things easier. Alex had sat there, complacently and let her do whatever she wanted. Janine plucked and polished, and primped until Alex glowed like a shiny, new penny.

She hadn't gone to the barn to see Alex off with Alexander and Leigh. It would have been too much for her to bear and she would have never been able to hold back her tears. Janine pulled back the curtains on the window and rested her forehead against the cold glass. Her breath steamed white on the pane. She watched Alex ride off into the woods on Jack's back and disappear into the darkness.

Tonight, she'd be there, at a safe distance, watching Alex breathe her last and her first, awakening as a new being. She'd watched Alex suffer for so long already and quietly endure every ounce of pain. She loathed bearing witness to any more pain. Alex's human life hadn't been exactly roses and sunshine. Janine thought that finally being reunited with Lucien would be the end of Alex's pain. But, it was just a temporary reprieve. Janine hoped, maybe, in this life, this new life, Alex would finally find the happiness she so desperately deserved.

With a heavy sigh, Janine pulled on her coat and boots. It was cold as a witch's tit tonight. The skies were velvet black and cloudy, with a sliver of moonlight to guide the way. The air was heavy and thick with the promise of snow. She could and should drive as close to the bluffs as she could. Be comfortable in the warmth of the car until she had to get out in the weather. Maybe, she needed a bit of suffering too, to clear her head. Deciding to walk, she flicked on a flashlight and headed out. The first snow of winter swirled around her in a soft sprinkle of glittering ice and brilliant, perfect white. Janine would have Alex back. Eventually. But, for now, she had to let her go.

*******

Chris stood in the background, awkward and awe struck by the beauty of the ceremony. She felt magic flow in a continuous stream all around her, weaving around and through each member, each tree, each rock and each living thing both big and small. All life intertwined into one nebulous fiber of wonder and power, so potent it was consuming, drawing on her energy and sucking her in. She closed her eyes, held her breath, and lent her strength to the magic.

Dane recited the words as the shaman ran his fingers through the mixture of wild herbs, brushing his skin and weaving an intricate pattern of color and pungent scent. Lucien had always made all this pomp and circumstance look so easy. Dane muttered and stumbled uncomfortably through the ceremony, wishing he were back in his old familiar place at Lucien's side.