Dawn's Shadow

The Great Father stood a distance from his children. He could read their emotions easily. Frowning, he focused on Dane. The leader didn't lack faith in the goddess or in the magic of the blood, only in himself, which was far worse. Magic and the goddess couldn't do their jobs if he lacked the conviction to fulfill his.

The Great Father found himself cursing his brother...again. He wished he could intervene. But, the all knowing, all seeing Prophet had forbidden it. Even from half a continent away, basking in the Arizona desert, doing goddess only knew what, his brother would know if he intervened. This was a test, not only for Dane, but for him as well. Was his will powerful enough to keep him planted on the sidelines? And was Dane's faith deep enough to give him the courage to do what he had to do and lead the Sons?

Alex drew an unsteady breath and clutched Jack's mane tighter in her grip. The light from the bonfire up ahead grew brighter, cutting dancing patterns of orange and red into the darkness. Suddenly more terrified than she'd ever been, she grabbed onto John Mark's hand, starving for the warmth of his friendship. He gripped fingers and gave them a steady, reassuring squeeze. He was here for her. She wasn't alone. Even though she felt so small and insignificant, frightened and alone. She was never, ever truly alone.

John Mark guided Alex off the Jack's back and steadied her on her feet. She sucked in a mouthful of cold air and blew it out in a long exhale to restrain her fear. He understood. After all, it hadn't been all that long since he'd been in the same place as she was now. Terrified. Humbled. So very afraid and unsure of his uncertain future. Gently, guided her to the center of the circle. He bowed to the old Shaman and placed Alex's hand in his. With a wink at her, he grinned and took his place at Dane's side.

Dane had chosen his second. And he'd won the title. Maybe, all those mundane tasks Lucien had forced on him had served a purpose after all. Shaped him and molded him into something more than he thought he could ever be. John Mark didn't relish hurting Alex. He wished there were another way besides this birth of blood and pain. But, being born was supposed to hurt. Unlike your human birth, you remembered the pain, forever. You could try to forget, but you couldn't. The pain reminded you of what it was like to be human, to be born, to live, and to die. Clearing his mind, he joined the rhythmic chanting.





Chapter 33

"Do you have the heart to join our brethren?" the Shaman asked. He lived for the pomp and circumstance of these ceremonies. After all, he was one of the original members and he'd helped create them. Every part of the ceremony served a purpose. Every word was carefully planned. Most of the time, he was content to be plain old Doc to the brothers. But, tonight, he was the Shaman and magic flowed through his veins.

"I do." Alex answered. Doc's hold on her hand helped to center her. The firelight and the soft chanting, the circle of brothers around her, held her feet to the ground and kept her from floating away.

"Will you give your life to defend the weak?" The Shaman asked.

"I will."

"Will you drink of the cup of life?"

Alex's voice was almost as tremulous as her body. "Willingly," she rasped. It was coming. Bits and pieces of her life flashed before her eyes. The shiny new bicycle she'd gotten for her eighth birthday. Chasing Jack up and down the pasture when he was just a colt. Flipping the tassel on her graduation cap. Her first period. Her first kiss. The smell of her mom's fresh baked cookies hot out of the oven. The sound of her dad's voice as he read her a bedtime story. Janine's laughter. And Lucien...his warmth, his smile, his embrace, his love...always Lucien.

The shaman's fingers traced patterns across Alex's face and neck. The trail tingled as Alex's skin prickled beneath his touch. Dropping the robe to lay in a heap at her feet, she gasped at the cold bite of the air. Beneath the robe, she wore a thin, sleeveless, woven sheath. She shivered, clamping her jaws tight to keep her teeth from chattering. "Examine my heart and find it worthy."

Dane stepped forward unsheathing the intricately carved dagger secured at his waist. He noticed Alex's fingers tremble as she extended her wrist to him. Legend had it that the blood held the secrets of a person's heart. If a person's motives weren't true, the blood would be tainted. Quickly he scored her fragile skin and sampled the crimson rivulet seeping from the edges of the narrow cut. Alex's was rich and sweet, pure as he expected. He swabbed the wound closed. "She is worthy to be one with us."

Chanting echoed through the darkness. The shaman nodded to Dane to proceed. And then bowing low to Alex in respect he whispered, "May the goddess bless your journey."

Dane tightened an arm around Alex's waist and pinned her securely to his body. With his free hand he grasped her head, holding it to the side to expose the tender white flesh of her neck. So softly, the brothers couldn't hear over their chanting, he whispered, "Are you sure?"

"Do it," Alex softly replied through gritted teeth. She knew the bite wouldn't be like Lucien's, soft and gentle as a breeze, a whisper of pleasure on her skin. The pain was part of the ritual. A reminder burned into the memory of every vampire. Meant to be agonizing.

Dane wished he could deliver the words that would prevent Alex's suffering. As he flexed his fingers against the back of her scull and felt the sting of his fangs descend, he gave himself over to his hunter. No hesitation, no fear, and no doubt, his hunter was all appetite and greed. Automatic response had him scrabbling to restrain his hunter. Letting that control slip, releasing the savage, was as painful for him as the bite would be for Alex.

The scent of her terror hung, pungent and bitter, in the air. Trembling and panting against his bare chest, she dug her blunt fingers into his skin, scrabbling to hold onto something. His hunter roared at the sudden release of its restraints and took control. Dane drove his fangs deep into the tender flesh beneath his lips, silently damning the savage within him. The first crimson drops tickled the tip of his tongue. The taste so sweet and so good, so alive, condemned Alex. He worried at the wound, releasing a gush of blood down his throat. The hunter was never happier. And Dane had never been more ashamed and terrified of what he was.

Alex clawed Dane's chest and bit back the scream building in her throat. She knew it would hurt. But, even her most dreaded anticipation hadn't prepared her, hadn't been enough, to ready her for how badly. Luckily, she didn't have long to wait to find out how long it took to drain someone to the point of unconsciousness. It seemed like forever, but it couldn't have been more than a matter of seconds before her head started to spin, her knees buckle, and the pain began to ebb, sending her spiraling into a place of darkness.

Patrick stood to the side, in the loose circle of his brothers, watching, nauseated by Alex's moans of agony and sickened by the scent of her blood. He thought of Nikki. Captured by the rogues, agonized by starvation, he couldn't save her. Knowing there was no other way out for either of them, she'd sacrificed her most precious possession. She'd given her life to set him free.

Swallowing back his guilt, he stood rigid, unblinking, terrified by the memories flooding his mind. He'd be damned if anyone else would ever sacrifice their life for him. He'd be damned if he'd do this to Janine just for the chance to keep her by his side. He wouldn't let her do it because of him. He'd love her until the day she died, a natural death, old and feeble, but still so beautiful, and human.

Leigh gripped Alexander's hand, turning her face into his shoulder and leaning on him for support. She couldn't watch Alex suffer another second. Alexander wrapped his arm around Leigh's shoulders and crushed her to his chest. Tears welled at the corners of his eyes. He was human. He couldn't hear her heartbeat thrumming in his ears. He didn't need to hear it to know. She didn't have long left to suffer. Silently, he cursed the goddess. Hadn't his baby girl suffered enough for one lifetime? If she didn't come back to them, he vowed he was done. Done with the Sons. Done with this town. He'd take Leigh and pack up. Go away. And together, they'd do their best to forget their daughter's final moments.

Janine bawled like a baby. She couldn't help it. Watching Alex die was too much for her to bear alone. Patrick was a Son and his place was by Dane's side, not at hers. Once again, she rode on the short bus, pushed to the side because she was human. And it was too dangerous for her to be where she truly felt she belonged. Sniffling and snotting all over the place, she wiggled underneath Alexander's arm and wedged herself into the comfort of the heavy weight across her shoulders. She wondered exactly how many skeins of yarn she'd have to roll into balls and how many green beans she'd have to snap to forget this night. Or to find the courage to do what Alex had done to earn her place.

Dane gently lowered Alex to the hard packed ground. She was pale as the snow drifting gently down from the night sky. Her skin so cold, the flakes gathered on the dips and valleys of her face. Limp and almost lifeless. Her heartbeat fumbled, thrumming rapidly and haphazardly in her chest and her breaths were shallow and labored. She didn't have long left before her breathing gave out and her heart surrendered its fight to keep her alive.

She wasn't clinically dead, yet. He drew hard on her skin with his mouth. His fangs working and digging for those last, precious drops of her humanity. Her heartbeat sputtered one last rushing series of beats, like an engine out of gas, and then quit. Went silent as the grave. Now! Dane with drew his fangs from her neck and plunged them savagely into his wrist. Panting at the blood flowing down his fingers as he pressed the wound to her lips and begged with the goddess for Alex to find the strength to drink and him to have the strength to bring her back. "Please, please, please," he muttered, gasping and pleading with Alex, with the goddess, and with anyone else who would listen.

A hiss escaped Dane's lips. Alex latched onto his wrist with all the delicacy of a piranha in a feeding frenzy. He was too relieved to care about the pain she inflicted with her new, needle sharp fangs. She was going to live. Anything else beyond that didn't matter. Ancient magic flowed from him into her in a torrent of red, changing and altering every cell. Infusing them with new life and purpose. He let her drink as much as he could spare, and when he had given all that he had to give, he passed her to John Mark. All the brothers would have a part in birthing their new sister into the world.

Alex felt her soul snap into her body, pulled from the brink by some irresistible force. The taste of blood coated her tongue. Sweet, rich and decadent, filled with life. She drank every drop she was given. Passed from one set of arms to another, she drank like a newborn infant, suckling the wrists. Slowly, she became aware of all the thoughts in her head jumbling and crowding into the space until it was stuffed full.

The change started slowly, beginning at her toes and working its way up. The arctic blast froze her body. She panted against the pain, crying out in agony. Begging for it to stop. Forget living. She wanted, in those few moments, to die. Alex would have paid someone to kill her if it meant skipping this suffering. Screaming and thrashing, she was born into this new life.

Alex heard Dane's voice tell her to relax. That the change was happening and it would be over soon. She prayed he was right. Such agony was unbearable. Cells exploded and rebuilt. DNA unraveled and coiled, reformed into something else. Her senses came to life, flooded with too much information to decipher. The pain was only the beginning. After a deluge of agony, her suffering was in its infancy. The thoughts in her head shouted. The pale moonlight stung her eyes. And the sound of human hearts beating drummed in her ears. Her eyes snapped open and she rolled onto her feet. Fangs bared she tracked the scent of food. Blood. The blood would bring her peace. End this agony.

John Mark patted Dane on the back in congratulations. Dane was as proud as any papa could be. Gently talking Alex down. "Don't sweat it. I got this one." Alex wasn't the first hungry newborn he'd encountered. She'd feel a hell of a lot better once she got fed. Dane had done enough. Anal retentive as he was, frigging control freak to the max, John Mark grinned in surprise when he nodded and handed Alex into his care.

John Mark whistled and motioned for Alexander. He felt it was best to feed a newborn from someone close. Even in a fit of bloodlust, some common sense leaked through the haze and sank in. They weren't as likely to lose control with and try to kill someone they cared for. "Hey Dane, your girl looks a little lost," he whispered over his shoulder. Dane was about to step in and take over. John Mark had it covered. He swatted Alex gently in the hand and chastised her for fighting against him, scrabbling for her father like some damned extra in a horror movie. "Bad. Bad vampire."

Chris paced back and forth, unsure of what she could do to help. Part of her wanted to help the girl. Part of her wanted to run to Dane's side and lend her calming presence. But, she wasn't sure whether to congratulate him or hug him sympathetically. She still remembered her birth into this world. Blinding pain, gripping, inescapable agony, confusion, and betrayal bathed in blood. She felt sorry for everyone and what they had to go through. Sorry for herself. Sorry for Dane. And sorry for Alex. Sometimes the burden of choice was harder than having one's choices taken away by force.

Dane was grateful to John Mark. He'd do fine as a mentor for Alex. Dane walked backwards, watching John Mark coach Alex through her first feeding. He had mixed feelings about Alex's decision. She was on her way to a new life. But, he wondered what that life would hold for her. Would she find her way back to happiness now that Lucien was gone? Forever was a long time to be separated from someone you loved. Turning his attention to Chris, he saw that John Mark was right. She looked a little lost.

"Was it like that for you?" Chris whispered. Her eyes locked on Alex and her father and wandered to Dane. She thought of the hours she spent huddled in a dark corner shivering, frightened and alone. If only she had a family like this one to be born into. If she could have awakened, locked safely in the arms of someone who loved her surrounded by the warm embraces of people who cared. Things might have been different those first few hours of her new life.

Dane grabbed Chris around the waist and pulled her to him. Hugging her tightly, he sensed the emptiness and the longing so deep in her heart. He imagined, witnessing the closeness between his brothers, she felt somewhat like an outsider. Watching Alex be born into what could only be considered a loving family, made her ache to belong. "Come on, join the party," he said, smiling, towing her closer to the bonfire.

He needed to blow off some steam. The brothers needed to blow off some steam. And Chris needed to figure out her place in the group. They accepted her as his mate, but not as one of them. The brothers would never see her as one of them unless she showed them what she was made of. She was going to have to earn it and work for it. Trust didn't come easily. Everyone had a past, a story, a part of themselves they wanted to hide from everyone else. Chris was the only one with secrets. The brothers weren't used to blank spots in their vision.

Robbie cocked her head to the side and studied the smug expression on Patrick's face. "Oh yeah! I bet I could take down a bigger buck than you can." Verbally sparring with Patrick had become one of her favorite pastimes. He was just so damned arrogant. The only person that could tame his tongue was Janine. And Robbie wasn't about to go to that extreme of a measure to give Patrick something else to do with his tongue besides flap it uselessly against his gums.

Patrick scoffed "Yeah right. You go ahead and think that, Short Stuff." He ruffled Robbie's hair and dodged a quick upper cut. Harassing Robbie was entertaining. That redheaded temper of hers flared to life too easily. It was hardly a challenge to get her all worked up.

"Now children," Dane chastised. "We all know I have the best hunting skills and," he said, securing Chris to his side, "the best hunting partner."

"Yeah right," Patrick snorted. Dane had the best partner for him. Sure. After all Patrick's little bit of Cupidly intervention had seen to that. No one but someone as placid as a lake on a hot summer's day could tolerate Dane's hard assed, opinionated, and conceited personality for any length of time.

"Really." Robbie shocked herself by agreeing with Patrick. "Even with a partner, the best you could do is catch a cold." She smiled at Dane and Chris mockingly, hiding her happiness for them behind the cocky expression on her face. If Dane caught wind that Patrick had set him up and practically shoved Chris on him, he'd balk and become a typical guy. Chris was special. Everything she touched. Every person she was around, simply felt better. Their problems seemed not so big. And Dane needed her. He needed her influence on him to get him through the darkest days the Sons had ever seen.

"Bring it on," Dane said, spurring Patrick and Robbie on. He wondered how long he'd hold Patrick's attention once Janine batted her baby blues at him. The boy had it bad for her. And Dane couldn't pretend to understand what held him back and kept him from claiming the female he was so desperately in love with.

Patrick sighed. "I'd love to. Anytime Sonny. But, I see a female in need of my... affections." He forgot about his brothers and jogged across the clearing where Janine stood with her arms crossed over her chest, waiting her turn to snag his attention.

"Yeah that's it hide behind your girlfriend!" Robbie shouted after Patrick. She selected a rock from the ground and weighed it in her palm. The rock was the perfect weight and size, roughly similar to a soft ball and twice as heavy. She paused and aimed, throwing the rock tossing at the back of his head. Grinning widely when it struck his skull with a loud thwack.

"Ow!" Patrick grumbled, rubbing the sore spot. Robbie was so going to get hers. But, later, much later, when she least expected it. For the moment, he needed his Janineie Bug. He grabbed Janine around the waist, flipped her over his shoulder, and carried her caveman style into the woods.

Dane shook his head and snickered. So much for a good impression, he thought, rolling his eyes. This place was a three-ring circus and he was the head clown. "Let me introduce you to the rest of the peanut gallery."

The night was a whirlwind of activity. Chris was amazed by the relationship Dane had with his brothers. Clearly, they accepted his place as leader and her place by his side. She wondered how they'd feel about her, how welcoming and accepting they'd be if it weren't for Dane staking his claim on her and making it painfully evident where she belonged and to whom. The sky had already started to lighten in the eastern sky by the time she'd made the circuit and met every last human and vampire in the brotherhood. "What will happen to her?" She asked Dane, watching curiously as John Mark guided Alex to the ATV.

"She'll be fine. She'll live in mines and be under constant supervision until she learns control. How long it takes is up to her," Dane answered.