tagHumor & SatireDead Battery Ch. 02

Dead Battery Ch. 02



After jumping the battery for the stranded lady in her Beemer, Dan started heading home but was unable to ignore the image of the woman running that wand thing up and down her pussy in the strange purple glow. The way she reacted to that thing was something Dan had never seen before. Yeah, he had been married a while, but in their day he and his wife had been pretty wild, but the way she looked was beyond imagination.

Realizing he still needed to pick up another Christmas present for his wife he pictured his wife running that wild electrical purpled thing up and down her pussy. Hmm, one of those presents that he can give to her but still enjoy himself. He decided he needed to get her one of those purple wandy things, the only problem, where would he find it.

Noticing a flashing blue light he got a quick idea, K-mart. Wouldn't it be great to find one of those flashy purple things on a blue light special? He headed over to the nearby K-mart and pulled into the lot. Parking some distance away from the entrance her noticed several cars parked way out on the perimeter of the lot. Could they? "Nah," he said, walking across the lot and stepping through the automatic doors into K-mart.

Figuring it was a "woman thing" he headed over to "woman's area" and shyly glanced around, uncomfortably dodging some other customers. After perusing the sanitary napkins, tampons, douches, and other odd devices he didn't see anything looking like what he saw in that woman's car. Finally building up some courage he approached a store worker and asked, "You don't have any of them 'lectric wands here do you?"

"Electric wand? I don't think so, what do they do?"

"Ah, well, ugh, I'm not really sure, I mean it's a woman thing."

"Like an electric razor? We have something like that for women," the lady said, walking down past the pink and light purple disposable razors. "Will any of these work?"

Looking over the frightening array of equipment he shook his head, "No, it doesn't look like that."

The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "I can call a manager and see if they know..."

"No, thank you for your time," Dan said, slipping his hands into his pockets and skipping out of the store.

Undeterred, Dan drove to the local Walmart but after a half hour of perusing through feminine hygiene products and some things he didn't even want to think about, he wandered back out of the store empty handed. Target and Kroger's yielded the same results, though he did get a bag of pistachios to take home for himself.

Suddenly he had a brainstorm, why not try Walgreens? "Those people have everything," he said to himself as he drove across town. Remembering how it was Walgreens that had the razor blade replacements to his ancient electric shaver and they had every sort of battery known to man, if anyone has this wand, they do.

Encouraged, he walked boldly into the store and headed down what had to be the perfect aisle, but found nothing. Well, he did find something, but once again he had no idea what it was he found and he didn't dare take whatever it was home to his wife. After checking a few more aisles he wandered over to the pharmacy and figuring you can pretty much ask a pharmacist anything, he stepped up and said, "I'm looking for an electric wand."

"A what?"

"An electric wand, it's like a box that plugs into an outlet and well, there is another cord that goes to this round globe. Now women, well rub this on their, ah, their vagina and..."


Son of a bitch, she slapped him! What the hell?

"I don't know who you think you are..." the woman started, but Dan spun and quickly walked away.

Turning down the first aisle he felt someone tug at his arm. He turned and then ducked, expecting to be slapped again.

"Sir, it's okay, I won't hit you."

"But..." he paused, looking at the woman... the girl, maybe twenty year-old. She had dark hair with a pink stripe through it and had several piercings in her nose and one in her lip.

"Look, you are looking in the wrong place. What you want is a velvet wand but you can't buy them here. I work at this special boutique, it specializes in, well, erotic items. Here's a card, go there and they will sell you what you want."

"Oh thank you, thank you so much."

"Just mention that Katie sent you, I'll get a commission for it," she said, smiling.

"Certainly Katie and thank you," he said shaking her hand. He then quickly headed out of the Walgreens and hopped into his truck. He started it up and headed back across town to the "Hottie Boutique" to finally finish his Christmas shopping.


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