tagReviews & EssaysDear Angel Ch. 02

Dear Angel Ch. 02




Angel, you write in response to a question about whether husbands want to see their wives have sex with other men, "Personally I think that it's only either a very insecure or very secure relationship that would be involved in this. In an insecure relationship ... In a secure relationship this would mean a loving relationship where both partners passed kindergarten with flying colors and learned to share. It also means that they are so secure in themselves, their identity and their relationship with the other, that it would not be damaged in any way. Relationships like these are rare, but they do happen."

Any time a person says "All ___ is ____" you can spot either a zealot, a bullshitter or someone that hasn't gotten out enough. Now yes you prefaced your comment by a "Personally I think" but still your response takes the basic form of if a couple is really, truly sexually secure they would share their sex as they would share their toys ... indirectly using a rhetorical tecnique as spun off from "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten."

Still maybe given your experience, your advice is flawless. And by this I mean personal face-to-face experience because I don't believe much of what I am told by anyone on the internet. By the way, I believe you could be right from your basis of experience and even right for your own life and yet could be telling an average person things that are horribly wrong for them. Personally I think if you're talking about sex and sexual behavior in the abstract you're talking about widgets. Of course I'm sure that there are people that live there entire lives quite comfortably in widget world, but I think most people need to view sex within the context of love and society and stability. I could go on but even I think I'm being pretentious now.

Angel's Answer:

Thank you very much for pointing out something that I hadn't considered, which was that I made it sound like if you're in a secure relationship then you WOULD be up for having a more open relationship. Trust me, that's not at all what I meant. I've been in a very secure relationship for the past 5 1/2 years and we have no interest in sharing the other, not out of fear that either of us would be tempted to leave, but just because it's something that we like to keep sacred between us. What I had meant in the column was those couples that DESIRE to invite someone else (or several someones) into their bedroom would probably be in either a very secure or an insecure relationship.

If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to post some of your reply to me and my explanation to you in the next chapter, just in case anyone else was thinking along the same lines as you. I'm sorry I wasn't clearer about it in the first place, I hadn't even thought of it. So thank you very much for pointing it out =) (Obviously, I got permission before submitting this).

Question: how about some more titty torturer stories with huge tits?

Angel's Answer: I've actually gotten quite a lot of emails requesting titty torturer stories... one of the series that I'm working on right now - "Friendly Kidnaping" will have a lot of that. At the moment though I'm also having trouble thinking up story lines for it... if anyone would like to request a particular story line for it, I'd be happy to oblige, but at the moment I'm at a bit of a loss. Places other than the "Titty Torturer" to find breast play/torture is in "Contest" - I believe Ch. 2 is the best for that, and "Sick and Wrong" Ch. 2 and 3.

Question: Do you get turned on when you write?

Angel's Answer: Absolutely. I only write stories that I have some kind of interest in what's going on, and that I find erotic... which is why you'll tend to find similar themes going through the stories a lot of the time. However, it's not the same kind of arousal that I can get from reading someone else's story, mostly because I'm always concentrating on what's coming next and what the characters are doing. I do think that it's best to write something that will turn you on though, because if it doesn't turn you on then how do you know it will do that for someone else? It's just best to write something you have an interest in.

Question: Can you write a how-to on foreplay, getting a woman excited? And also one on giving a woman oral sex?

Angel's Answer: Well I can try here. I'm not sure that I really know enough to make a whole "How-To" on either.

For me, I think of foreplay as being, not the leading up point to the sex, but as the beginning of sex. I think it can be just as erotic and exciting as the act itself - and I think that most of the time we start to rush it too much. Sex becomes about a race rather than enjoying the little things, like caresses and cuddling and kisses.

Oh kisses... Remember when you could make out for hours on end? And think it was the best thing in the world? What happened to that? I just recently rediscovered the joys of kissing - although I'm definitely not back at the hours point, but it's something very nice and extremely intimate. There are few things that will knock a woman off her feet more than a good kiss. Think of starting at the beginning of the day... sweet kisses in the morning, maybe a few caresses... and just leave it at that. It can turn into a day long foreplay.

For me, getting a text message that says "I'm thinking of you... thinking of sliding my tongue up your sweet pussy..." it just as much foreplay as actually doing the act.

Best thing I can say for foreplay is take your time. Ever see that Friend's episode where the girls show Chandler the 7 points on a girl's body? "One... two... three... two... four... five... four again - oh yeah! - ... six... four... six... two... seven... five.... seven... seven.... SEVEN!" (ok so the numbers aren't right but you get the picture). Well it's not quite that easy, but the is an order.

For instance, don't go straight for the groin area. Warm things up a bit! The neck and collarbone are VERY sensitive areas - on me so sensitive that I actually ruin the moment when my boyfriend goes for my neck, but on a lot of women it's just sensitive enough to be VERY nice. Kiss, kiss shoulders, fingertips, insides of the elbows. Start at the feet, around the ankles, behind the knees, the undersides of the thighs. For the ladies - these spots work just as well on the men.

Breasts... DON'T go straight for the nipples. Squeeze and rub the whole boob, the whole thing is a pleasure zone, and going straight for nipples can be frustrating and annoying when you want to be caressed ALL over. How would you like it if someone just squeezed your nipples non-stop? It's not very erotic. Let your fingers drift slowly, try light and firm caresses, work your way into the nipples. Use your mouth in the same way.

Stomach. Kissing the stomach can be very erotic, especially if you slowly move down towards the groin area. Now, personally I find that having a tongue trailed along my stomach is kinda gross, but some people like it to. I'd rather just have kisses there. Find out what your partner likes and go for it! Teasing kisses that slowly go lower hint at pleasures that await you... but once you get to the magical area... GO LOWER! Surprise! I'm halfway up your thighs and you're going to be teased and tormented some more before you get any pleasure.

The ever seductive with-holding dance that just makes contact so much sweeter when it finally happens.

Now of course, for a quickie, all of this goes pretty much out the window, but hey... did my best! =D

As for giving oral sex, I would follow the same things there for foreplay, working up to it, taking your time about getting to the actual sex part. By the time you get there she'll be wet and juicy and raring to go, it's a lot easier than starting there and working your way up to it.

Now, I don't actually know much about giving a woman oral sex because it's not something I've ever had the opportunity to do. However, a few things that I do know: making your tongue stiffer to lick means that the contact feels a lot more firm. If you can do interesting things down there - such as writing the alphabet with your tongue - then it's more interesting. Trying nibbling and sucking on her pussy lips, gently of course, but it's a completely different sensation (and quite a nice one). If you've ever played the trumpet or an instrument like a trumpet, and you know how to do that vibrating thing with your tongue... DO IT. Definitely one of the best experiences I've ever had. Try to find her clit, suck on it a little, lick around it, tease...

I will say this. I have never actually gotten off during oral sex. I have come SO CLOSE, but it hasn't ever actually happened. Little mini-orgasms occasionally, but not the big mind blowing ones. Different things please different women. For me, oral sex is best used as a very intense part of foreplay - and it def makes it easier for a lot of women to orgasm during intercourse.

So I hope that this was helpful for some people... and of course feel free to ask me anything!

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