Dear Dildo Maker

The apparent links contained herein are not real and don't connect to anything.

*****

From: SusanJones@hornyhotty.cum

To: ComplaintDept@DildoDelights.cum

Dear Complaint Department:

I have a complaint about you latest model sex toy, the Palooka, or something like that. When I use it, I get it all wet and can hardly hang onto it, especially when I am close to coming. Is there something I can do about this problem?

From: ComplaintDept@DildoDelights.cum

To: SusanJones@hornyhotty.cum

Dear Susan Jones:

We here at Dildo Delights are dismayed to hear you are not completely satisfied with The Big Bazooka, the latest in our outstanding line of life-like sex toys. First, as you probably know already, the wetness you mention is a normal response to sexual arousal brought about by this amazing toy and will help you to enjoy your Dildo Delight experience even more. As for the other part of your problem, our multi-talented research department has been working hard on the problem you describe and they have come up with a solution. We now offer, for sale at better sex shops everywhere, a knurled handle which fits snugly on your Big Bazooka. Even during the multiple wild climaxes which will be brought about through use of one of these dildos or any of the other Dildo Delight products, you will be able to retain a firm grip on the toy and revel in the incredible carnal pleasures.

From: SusanJones@hornyhotty.cum

To: ComplaintDept@DildoDelights.cum

Dear Dildo Delights,

I bought the knurled handle, and it does help, at least for a few minutes. The problem is that after that time, my legs are kicking in the air while I rock from side to side on my ass and, even with the knurled handle, I knock the toy loose from my hand and it goes flying out of my pussy and across the room. I end up being sexually frustrated and the wallpaper in my bedroom has become badly stained. Do you have any further solution to my problem?

From: ComplaintDept@DildoDelights.cum

To: SusanJones@hornyhotty.cum

Dear Ms. Jones,

Did you get the wrist strap that attaches to the knurled handle? That would solve your problem because, even when you get quite active while pleasuring yourself with one of our fine dildos, you would not lose control of the toy. I am instructing our marketing department to send you one with our compliments.

From: SusanJones@hornyhotty.cum

To: ComplaintDept@DildoDelights.cum

Thank you for sending me the wrist strap. It did help except when I am getting close to coming, I thrash around on my bed and tend to flail the mattress with my arms and, when I do that, I yank the dildo out of my pussy. I have been able to grab it right away and shove it back where it belongs but I did lose something from my orgasm.

From: ComplaintDept@DildoDelights.cum

To: SusanJones@hornyhotty.cum

Dear Sue,

It sounds like you are such a sensuous woman that what you need is a horny boyfriend or several of them, with the right equipment, such as the ten inch schlong I have hanging between my legs. Except it's usually sticking out, like it is right now, rather than hanging out. I have always heard a real cock wielded by a man who knows what he's doing is much better than any toy, even one made by Dildo Delights. That would be my personal suggestion as a way to alleviate your problems.

JimMalone@DildoDelights.cum

From: SusanJones@hornyhotty.cum

To: JimMalone@DildoDelights.cum

Hi, Jimmy,

I know the real thing, either a cock or a tongue is a lot better than a toy. The problem is finding a man or some men who want to eat my pussy or fuck me or, preferably, both. I have found a few guys who were fun in bed but mostly when I hit on somebody, he gets all flustered and tongue-tied and ends up running away. I talked to my shrink last month and he told me they were afraid of me or they thought they weren't good enough for me or something else like that.

In between copping some feels that I let him have, the shrink said guys see my long red hair, green eyes and creamy skin with the freckles and my big tits and round ass and they tell me they have to do something else. I think he might have something there. After our session ended, he canceled the rest of his appointments for the day and we got it on together on the sofa in his office. It was pretty good and I came four times but then he had to leave, even though he could hardly walk, and hasn't answered by phone calls since. Do you think it was something I said? I can get pretty loud when I'm coming.

From: JimMalone@DildoDelights.cum

To: SusanJones@hornyhotty.cum

Hi, Susie,

I see by your address you live no more than a few miles from me. A while ago, I mentioned my ten inch schlong. It gets even bigger than that when it is fully erect, such as it is now from thinking about you. I believe I have what you need and I know you have what I need. How about I come over to see you on Friday night after work and we can spend all weekend finding out for sure. After that, we can throw away that stupid dildo because you won't need it anymore.

Jim

From: SusanJones@hornyhotty.cum

To: JimMalone@DildoDelights.cum

Hi, Jimmy,

I was afraid you'd never ask. See you on Friday.